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Jerry swayed, taking a few moments to register Harrison's words.

He couldn't breath.

Was it the suffocating thoughts or the armor that felt like it was going to crush him at any moment?

"Water-ater-ater. Right, yeah... yeah sounds.." He dropped the brick he had been staring at, attempting to rise to his feet but the sudden vertical motion sent his head swimming.

He tried to take a step to catch himself- it didn't work out.

Grabbing himself on their partially built wall, he flailed, knocking the helmet off of his own head as he grasped for the ties for the chest piece.

Water. Yeah, water sounded fabulous.

Stamina: 1/30 (done)

Bricks: 29

(IDK how foxfires effect totals )

Rep, wavering on the knife edge of conciousness gave Allan a nonplussed look, or at least as much of one as he could while helping Harrison free up breathing space.

"S..sir. I'd really. I'd really ******** like to. I would. The kokoro is willing, but the flesh is weak."

It was almost impossible for Rep to bear any kind of malice towards Allan, even when it sounded like they'd be back there again early the next day. He knew he'd be in pain tomorrow after this kind of work out but no pain no gain it seemed. At least falling to the ground had counted somewhat as a rest, at least with the damn breastplate off and some of the layers, he could breathe. There wasn't any water though, he assumed that was up to them.


"Thanks sir. I'll see you tomorrow."His tone was devoid of even a hint of sarcasm.

With a tired grunt, he set about getting rid of the rest of the restrictive armour. It was far from an easy task - utterly drenched with sweat, his hands shaky and feeble from exhaustion, even undoing buckles and untying things was a monumental task.

When he was finally free Harrison got a sidelong weary glance. "Shower and a drink? Either order."

Distracted out of his conversation by the glances he received now and then from the shaded spot, Rep felt his blood ice over in his veins when he was beckoned over. Teetering slightly as he wobbled over, he raised a brow at Allan, his voice a tentative squeak as he asked.

Aye?"

Jerry had concentrated on breathing and not toppling over as he carefully removed the armor piece by piece. He let it sit in a pile to the side, slumped to sit in the wreckage. There were voices drifting around him, but he couldn't concentrate.

Now at least he was about as physically exhausted as he was mentally. Dimly, he glanced up to see Harrison and Rep hovered together, his lips pursing as he turned away.

Carefully, he wobbled to his feet again, ready to slink off.

Rep followed Allan's gaze, watching as Jerry left and making a mental note to find out what Ganbatte meant at some point in the future, he didn't like feeling like there was some meaning that went over his head.

As he was addressed he promptly stopped slouching distractedly and stood as respectfully to attention as he could manage in his state of exhaustion. Despite the lingering stress of all the emotions he had spent the day avoiding it was impossible not to swell a little with pride at the implication he'd worked hard. It made him wish he had been able to do more.

The sun lead's question prompted a blank stare from the redhead at first as he tried to come up with anything the two could have been discussing and how it'd relate to his kokoro. Nothing presented itself other than the lingering question of his usefulness in the wake of Killzone's death.

Running a hand through his already disastrously messy hair he clearly gave the question genuine thought. After reading up on its meaning, he found he liked the word kokoro, there was nothing quite like it in English. At once it was heart and at the same time feelings but didn't have the messy stigma of masculinity attached the way both of those words did. If he took it purely as the romantic sort of "heart", he felt like he was missing a piece and always would be after today, so much he could hardly dwell on it. So he chose not to. He assumed instead Allan wanted to know about the other side of the word kokoro, about his feelings and drives - so he hazarded an answer as best he could.

"Well. I guess I feel like I've learned a lot about my kokoro and me. There are people who don't owe me anything, who should hate me, yet who looked out for me on missions and s**t. People have offered me second chances and I want to take them. They didn't have to right? But they did anyway because I guess they understood nakama before I did." Nakama was another word he'd found was handy since finding it out, it also had none of the usual embarrassing stigma typically attached to friends or comrades either. "So I guess like, in some ways I feel like I've grown?.. I dunno, maybe." It sounded silly to say it aloud and he quickly tried to mask his uncertainty by driving onwards in his rant. "But I still want to be strong! I still want to make people proud. But I want to do it in the right ways, I want to help as much as I can." So he wouldn't lose anyone else again.

It was around this point he seemed to realise he was rambling childishly and shut his own enthusiastic rant down. "Erm. Sorry sir. I mean. I guess I feel my kokoro is just different than it was."

Rep nodded in full agreement with the sun lead, there had been a time when change had been terrifying, when conformity as much as possible to other people was what life had been about - letting other people make the choices for him, often the wrong ones. It had taken a long time to learn on his own what the right choices were, and he was still learning, but he was motivated to do it. Killzone and Allan had had faith in him, and he respected both men enough not to to argue with their judgement. If even one person in the world thought he could do it, he had the obligation to try.

His attention was rapt as Allan stooped to his level but still despite himself he almost flinched at the move towards the cuff, all that had come from the thing was futility and misery, it was the reaction of a chained animal. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting but it certainly what actually happened. There was a click and in a dizzying wave of strength returning it was gone. Gone. Gone like the weakness, Tracey's power flaring like a supernova in his thoughts. He could hardly believe it as his eyes went wide, looking down at his wrist, then to Allan, then disbelieving back to the faint red tanline where the thing had been for the last month.

He was free.

They were going to go get people back. They were going to go get Jordan back, and despite all the doubts he was alive, all the pain and fear at his loss, he found himself believing the man in front of him, trust went two ways. If Allan said there was a chance Jordan was alive, he could believe it. Despite all the s**t that had happened, despite other people's eyerolls and scepticism he trusted the man, and he was determined more than anything else he would earn that trust and never wreck it with stupidity again. He would do everything he could to get his lover and his comrades home again.

Trust. Nakama. Other people treated it like it was silly, some kind of joke. To Rep now, it meant something. He could fight, he could do what he could to be a sun, to save the others, to show his intents were genuine, that despite his ******** ups that he was on the same side as everyone else.

He tried to find words to thank the other man. Normally he was so talkative about everything, enthusiasm making him chatty, but Allan's last comment had made words utterly impossible. He'd never thought he'd hear those words again, and despite it all, they were all he'd ever wanted. He couldn't speak around the lump in his throat, all the fear of death, all the helplessness was over, he'd been given the second chance he didn't deserve and he couldn't even begin to express his gratitude.

In a ditch last resort he decided words weren't sun enough anyway, actions outweighed them. So in a gesture that took a lot of guts for the normally personal space leery sun hunter, carried by the power and adrenaline of the weapon's return he slung his arms around Allan in a surprise nakama hug, complete with manly back pat, his voice betraying just a little of the ragged emotional edge and the complexity of all the unspoken thanks as he stated.

"Thank you. Thank you, Allan- sensei."

It took him a few moments for his brain to flag up that yes, he had just hugged a superior officer and no that probably wasn't military protocol. He hurriedly let Allan go. "Er. S..Sorry about that.. I.. I just."

He held up his wrist and pointed to it pitifully "I just.. this.... this..I.."

He stood to attention formally to stop himself veering too far off into emotion again. "I won't let your trust or your pride be in vain again. I swear."

And with a salute, he turned to head back to Harrison, as he reached the moon hunter saying nothing at all. He just held up the bare wrist meaningfully and gave him an utterly dazed look.