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 Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:45 am
[You are asking the right question Einie...]
“ I‘m NOT crazy!”, Harold felt his stomach curdle in disgust at the sight of a somewhat scantily clad blonde thing standing in the doorway. ‘ s**t! He was talking about her!’, Way to lose control…over the wrong person. Harold hurriedly looked towards the man pinned on the bed as if to hear proof that Einian was talking about that unattractive blonde.
“ What do you still care? You got your stupid backpack leave already.”, A very good question indeed. ‘ Why is that thing still here?’, Harold had barely turned his head to look at her when he thought he saw the blonde…wink at him…and giggle after saying the most revolting thing he had ever heard. Unpleasant chills of revulsion shot through his veins as Harold’s face paled in grimacing horror.
‘ I think I‘m going to be sick…’, Feeling quite green, Harold walked to the trash bin, seeing what he thought to be a used condom, and felt the curdling uncontrollably lurch in his stomach. Seeing that disgusting sight was just the final straw, and Harold vomited into the trash can as Einian confessed to ‘Belle’ that he was gay.
“ Well, unlike you, sissy, he can actually break a bed.”, Just hearing the hopeful determination in her voice as she spoke those words forced Harold to spew his guts even more into the trash can. Perfectly indicating his sentiments towards any such proposal with anything resembling that blonde. It wasn’t that she was blonde, it wasn’t even that she was a woman with an unattractive body, for unknown reasons her very presence in a room just sickened him to the core. On a subatomic level, Harold was disgusted and he made no secret of it as he wiped the vomit from his mouth and snarled in her direction. ‘ What the hell does she like about me?’ There were weird girls who liked guys in make-up yes, but she did not seem to be the type that would usually prefer that. Then again…neither did Bella…and she had fallen in love with Casey, who wore make-up almost as often as he did. His chest suddenly feeling some weird kind of pain, Harold gave up on hurting Einian and shirked rudely past the blonde to purposefully be cruel to her. That blonde was disgusting and vile. That ‘Belle’ wasn’t his Bella.
For seemingly no reason at all Harold tripped over his foot and grabbed the railing on the stairs to keep from falling. ‘ Where the HELL did that come from?’ There was no ‘his’ before ‘Bella’. There was only ‘his’ Casey. Disturbed, mostly from the startling lack of revulsion in his stomach, Harold stopped short of breathing and had to pant to make up for lost time. The pain stinging within his chest. ‘ What the ******** is wrong with me!?’, Seriously considering whether it was best to listen to his psychiatrist and stop taking powerful anti-depressants, Harold wasted no time in rushing downstairs and going into Iorwen’s room. Roughly shoving the door open, Harold looked at Bella’s back as she seemed to be contemplatively staring at the floor. Her arms crossed over her chest. If Iorwen was in the room, Harold would have told her to get out, but if she wasn’t in the room with Bella, he just closed the door and walked forward.
‘ What the hell are you doing here.’, Harold wet his lips to speak exactly those words…but…
“ Are you alright?”, Bella seemed to jump ever so slightly at the sound of his voice, but the ‘robot’ Pino had once talked about disappeared after a second. In seeing him, there was fear; anger, and hatred muddling on her face. But it was mostly overshadowed by confusion. Every feature seemed to question why Harold was in here, and to be honest the man didn’t know himself.
“w…what?”, Bella mumbled, and Harold shook his head and began to elaborate the real reason for being in this room.
“ I saw your spat with Einian. Did he…hurt you?”, Harold very nearly choked on saying the word: ‘hurt’. Now I’m really starting to sound ‘concerned’, he worried, but it was too late to go back now. Bella was still confused, and she shook her head and furrowed her eyebrows in subtle irritation.
“ You mean ‘did he sleep with me?’ No.”, The venomous look in Bella’s brown eyes was meant to be accusatory and painful to witness; but, Harold was not so easily pained. Of course he knew what she was saying between the lines. ‘You mean ‘did he sleep with me?’ like you did?’ Feeling unsettled in his stomach, Harold crossed his arms on his hips like a temperamental peter pan as Bella turned her back to him. And rightly so. Harold wasn’t exactly sure why besides the semi-friendship they originally had for the past year before she went home, but at this point he just forsook the reason and walked behind her.
‘ Why are you even here?’, Harold prepared to say…but like before he actually mumbled:
“ Do you want to be friends with Casey anymore?”, Harold paused from hesitation but regrettably knew that he had to speak the rest of the sentence.
“ He misses you around Bill. I didn‘t…need to be here to know that you two have known each other your whole lives.”, Bella seemed to further withdraw and retract with every passing word. Her face becoming more irritable and upset as if she questioned the validity of every word coming out of his mouth. Seeing that look of pain and heartbreak was strangely enough not as satisfying as when he had first seen it two weeks before. A strange tugging being felt in his chest, Harold walked forward in the quiet room and pressed his hands to Bella’s upper arms. Her arms still crossed over her chest. Moving as if she was thoroughly repulsed or strongly hurt, Harold squeezed her arms as she tried to turn away from being ‘held’. Ever the deer trying to escape from human contact.
“Please let go of me.”, Bella’s watery voice whispered a plea, and hearing the same tender texture in her voice, combined with that horrible word: ‘please’ that he couldn’t stop imagining caused Harold’s blood to run cold. Like a hand had reached into his stomach and yanked it out of his intestines. Squeezing her arms even harder, oblivious that it was worry that he felt, Harold’s face contorted in frustrated anger at Bella’s silence to the question.
“ Then answer me. Do you?”, While his voice started out sounding quite peeved, his tone suddenly shifted polars and the man began to sound concerned. Sweet even, and Bella’s anger seemed to crumble to complete dismay at the sound of his voice before her face contorted in pain once more and she tried to move away. This time, Harold let Bella escape his grip, though she did not walk father than a foot so that she could answer quietly. Tapping her fingers contemplatively against her elbow, Bella didn’t answer for the longest time. ‘ I know you have no reason to be friends with Casey…after what I did.’, But for Casey’s sake, Harold was willing to step down. Maybe he thought that their friendship being ruined was the cause of his uncontrollable thoughts, and that fixing them might…make those stress-based thoughts go away. Anything to stop the madness, and that was Harolds desire in being here. It had to be.
“ I…don‘t know…”, Bella shook her head back and forth in remorse, before looking up at Harold. “ I don‘t think I can…anymore.”, Harold understood, but the disappointment did not leave his face.
“ Why not?”, Of course Harold already knew why but he has to ask. He had to keep trying to convince Bella to stay for Casey’s sake. Bella’s face contorted in the acutest pain before she tore her eyes away from Harold’s and shook her head in frustrated, irritated, heartbreak. Plopping on the edge of Iorwen’s bed without making a sound. Harold didn’t dare sit next to her in a ‘friendly’ manner, she obviously didn’t want him close. Waiting for a moment, Bella stared at the floor before looking up at him. Water glazing the surface of her chocolate eyes.
“Why do you think?”, Harold felt his heart pulled out of his chest. Bella still loved Casey, and Harold felt a severe stab at the idea of that love ever being reciprocated. Bella believed he felt nothing, and while Harold didn’t know what Casey felt in the matter, he knew it wasn’t nothing at all. Harold vehemently believed that that was the cause for the pain in his chest, and in belief that his reason was valid, Harold showed the broken emotion on his face. It was almost as heart wrenching as the one on Bella’s.
“ He‘ll always be your friend if you let him Bella. He only avoids you because he believes you hate him.”, The pain on Bella’s face at hearing those words tugged at the strings in his chest. For some reason seeing that pain on her face hurt more than words could express. The small inkling that perhaps he would be upset if she disappeared began to nudge his subconscious. Bella wasn’t crying, but she wiped her cheeks as if she was.
“ I don‘t hate him.”, But she kept shaking her head back and forth, and Harold knew in his stomach that he still needed to change Bella’s mind.
“ I don‘t…hate you either.”, It was a vicious lie, of course, but Harold was trying to appease the god of karma. Bella looked up at him through the emotional shine in her eye to look at him in disbelief, and Harold admired her perceptive skills. They both seemed to mutually grimace, but after a little while Bella seemed to appear calm and resolved. Harold shoved his hands into his pockets and waited.
“ If…”, Bella stared at the floor, purposefully speaking in softened tones. Harold swallowed the fluid in his throat during the pause so as to not miss whatever it was that she had to say.
“ If you promise not to leave us alone together….I can pretend that me and Casey never happened. ”, Bella’s face contorted in pain, and her hands seemed to tremble like she was having a bout with low blood sugar or deeply stressed.
“ But if he…brings up that night…I‘m gone. That’s my only condition.”, Harold nodded in reply. They certainly had an accord. Harold turned to leave when Bella’s hand whipped up from the bed and squeezed his arm. Turning around to stare at her angered face, Harold’s heart suddenly began to return to its usual coldness. Bella appeared quite venomous, and Harold simply fought her stare.
“ If this is some joke…and you and Casey ever joke about…how easy it was to trick me…”, Bella trailed off, and Harold could not help but think that she stopped because she had nothing that could be used to threaten him. Which was certainly true.
“ ‘Despicable me’ is still in the living room dvd player…If you‘ll turn it on…I‘ll go get Casey.”, With that Harold left the room and slowly marched upstairs.
~
Walking into Casey’s room, rudely ignoring all other people, Harold thought he saw Casey lying on his bed in an ‘emo corner’ sort of way. Closing the door, the man smiled at his boyfriend and parted the distance between them. Pressing his hand on Casey’s new ring to try and console the love of his life. Leaning in, Harold tried to give his partner a soft kiss on his cheek before attempting to break the news. ‘ How can I say this?’ Wondering if he should just let Casey tell him how he was feeling right now instead of speaking, Harold just grumbled his lip and nuzzled his forehead against Casey’s cheekbone.
“ Bella‘s downstairs watching a movie.”, Casey probably already knew that, so Harold needed to elaborate.
“ I talked to her a few minutes ago…She forgives you…if you want to go down and watch cartoons with me.”
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:52 am
  ஒ═━┈┈━═☾ღ☽═━┈┈━═ஒ
Iorwen and Casey both were absolutely unaware that Harold had talked to Bella. Iorwen because she had decided to find something to clean up the glass on the stairs and Casey... Well he'd been hiding in his room pretty much since Bella came in and his thoughts had been able to block out the complete commotion Annabelle was causing. Talking of Annabelle, she left with a silly little pout and sticking her tongue out with a childish fart sound when Einian added a few witty comments about how she repulsed people she attempted to hit on.
Casey only really noticed harold in his thoughtful daze when he received a kiss to his cheek. He was on one side surprised to see the man and on the other hand glad he hadn't attempted to talk to Bella while he wasn't around. Harold had been jealous enough already. There wasn't a single good reason to trigger it even more than it already had been. The mere thought of talking to Bella behind Harold's back had made Casey's stomach clutch with feelings of guilt.
“ Bella‘s downstairs watching a movie.”
Was this Harold's attempt to confirm tat he had forgive Casey for that one misstep? Why did Casey have to care? He cared, but he definitely couldn't face her, not with the painted man possibly around to hear it. He didn't want Harold to hear that he cared more than anything else. He didn't want Harold to hear that he just couldn't forget that night, because despite being drunk he could still remember every detail. The smell of her skin and perfume, the sweet sound of her voice....
The fruity taste of her lips...
“ I talked to her a few minutes ago…She forgives you…if you want to go down and watch cartoons with me.”
Why did Harold persistently talk in his stead? Why did the painted man find the need to get things right between hi lover and Bella if it only got him green with jealousy? Why did he have to be there? All Casey could do was swallow tightly and nod that he'd go. The least he could do was try to talk to her, even if it was only saying her name. Casey, however, knew deep down that he'd be too torn between these two people he loved to say anything at all.
Casey got up from the bed and gave Harold a rather quick hug before straightening his hair. "I might as well try." Casey admitted in a near whisper. He tried a smile, which felt realer on his face than he thought it would be. He went downstairs and on his way he felt like he was going to the hangman right that second. Bella'd be the rope and Harold was going to tighten it and pull it to choke Casey. He knew Harold was right behind him, but he tried to ignore the male's presence for as much as he could.
When he finally saw Bella in the living room he tried another smile in an attempt to tell her visually that he cared, but Casey doubted that it got the message across. He sat down next the brunette, his whole body almost instantly tingling as if he had just sat down on the edge of a sandstorm butt naked. Casey just felt weird, knowing that Harold was sitting on the other side. Neither on of the other people on the couch seemed to be doing anything -other than start the movie-, but Casey felt as if they were secretly playing a tug of war over him.
He wanted to speak but his tongue was tied and because that didn't want to work he tried to concentrate on the cartoon to distract himself. Only a week ago he had enjoyed this cartoon so much, but now... It just didn't get through his skull because it was full with Bella and Harold.
Come on say something!
I can't!
But you wanted to talk to me!, cried Bella's voice desperately in his head. At least do something! Casey glance down to his hand in his lamp. Trying to ban the horrible feeling that the voice in his head was giving him. Yet it didn't want to go away. The feeling that he had to do something. He noticed Bella's hands in her own lap and she seemed to be doing a really good job of keeping herself together unlike Casey. The male thought of grabbing Bella's hand and squeeze it, but before he could even manage he broke inside.
"Bella"
In an instant Casey stood up and left the room before the tears of his torn heart would show. He really prayed Harold wouldn't follow, that Bella wouldn't be mad that he had been unable to talk. Casey just wanted to be oblivious again. Oblivious to his own feelings and Harold being so jealous. He near ran to he nearest bathroom, but in the same time he drew the attention of a bystander.
Iorwen was in the kitchen disposing of some glass shards when she saw Casey rush by obviously in distress. Curious for where he came from Iorwen took a glance into the living room seeing Bella -in an almost robot state- and Harold seemingly worried.
It looks like... she's trying to hide her feelings
Worried and curious Iorwen went after the male for a change. Normally she'd concern herself with Bella, but she didn't want to suggest at Casey's state if he had ran to hide that. Sadly enough the boy had decided to hide in the nearest toilet. What was it with the blonde and intruding into people's bathrooms lately? She didn't know, but she did know she found Casey in there crying silently. However when she closed and locked the door behind her he lifted his head and dried his tears saying: "I'm not crying." Iorwen bit her lip. Feeling sorry for the male sitting on the floor in apparent despair. She sat down in front of him.
"Tell me... What's wrong?"
Casey looked at Iorwen with puffy red eyes and he couldn't stop more tears from coming. he felt so bare and stripped of all his dignity and here was the blonde he shared a house with and had hardly talked to asking him what was wrong. He bit his lip tightly in attempt to stop the tears from bleeding from his eyes, which seemed to work if only a little.
"I really want to talk to her... I do." Said Casey silently and Iorwen's eyes didn't seem to quite get who he was talking about. "I just can't talk to Billy when Harold's around." He admitted just as silently as before, hoping with his whole heart that Harold wasn't eavesdropping at the door. He sniffled a little, obviously not knowing what to do.
"Why? Why can't you?"
"Because he's so damn jealous!" Casey almost yelled and tears started flowing again. In an instant Iorwen was sushing him and drawing him into a hug. Casey let the blonde draw him into some sort of comfort and stayed like that for about five minutes.
"I think I can help.", Said the blonde quietly after a while.
"How?"
After that Iorwen explained that she knew a quaint little coffee shop in town and would show him where it was the next day. She also added that she'd tried to take Bella there the day after she would've moved in and that Casey could come. All that he had to do was not bring Harold...
Casey went back to his room after that hope giving conversation and went to hide in his room again. Iorwen went to the living room and took what was Casey's place.
"What are we watching?" She asked, neither specifically happy nor unhappy.
ஒ═━┈┈━═☾ღ☽═━┈┈━═ஒ XXXX
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:55 pm
[Yeah Harold...why are you doing this? Cause I don't think you know...]
“ I might as well try.”, Casey whispered, but his voice sounded quietly optimistic. Regretting his decisions until he saw the ghost of a smile on Casey’s face, Harold followed Casey out of the bedroom but made a quick stop in the bathroom to rinse his mouth with Spearmint Listerine. No one was going to like vomit breath, especially himself. Following Casey if only to watch his posture and judge what he was thinking, Harold could feel more ice cubes drop within his stomach as they just kept walking towards the living room. There were more and more little signs that Bella and his night meant more than Casey was seeing, and Harold wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel to see the proof of it. There was more that Casey wasn’t saying, and his heart began to throb in pain. ‘ I know it meant something…but it couldn‘t have meant…everything.’, after all, if Casey had thought so about it…why would he have gotten back together with him? Confused, Harold hesitated before entering the living room to let Casey sit where he wanted to sit. Half hoping that he could sit between them.
Come on Skull. Get in there. Kicked into gear, Harold walked into the room fully expecting to see Bella turn her head from the television to look at them. She may have flickered her eyes towards them, but they were filled with fear. As if she was accusing Harold for hesitating and making her think that she would be in the room with Casey all by herself. ‘ I wont let that happen Bill. Calm down okay?’, Harold thought projected as he watched Casey sit down next to Bella. Turning his own head to peek at Bella’s face, it was like the color drained from her skin, and for a minute she gave the impression of being ‘robotic’ like Pino had been so stressed about.
A strange cold froze Harold’s stomach at seeing that expression cross over her face, and as he sat down next to Casey, Harold watched her hand begin to tremble as she raised the remote and clicked ‘play’ on the dvd like she was pulling a trigger to commit suicide. ‘ I‘m sorry that you‘re having a tough time now Bill, but you‘ll get through this. You both will.’ In a world where all three of them were friends again, Harold could have just raised his arms to the top of the couch and gotten comfortable, so that was what he did. At least, to try and fool Casey into thinking there was nothing out of the ordinary to him. Feeling movement on the couch, Harold looked to see Bella scoot an inch or two closer to Casey, even though her face desperately tried to hide how petrified it looked. Her eyes never left that television screen, and Harold could not help but feel like if it wasn’t for Casey she would bolt from the couch. ‘ Don‘t die on me Bill.’, Harold thought, quite affectionately, as his hand snuck up from the top of the couch towards Bella’s neck. His fingers stroking through her hair to graze along her soft little neck.
Of course Bella’s eyes bulged like a frog, and she tilted her head slightly to the right to try and look at where Casey’s hands were, but a moment later she seemed to relax in appearance. Though her skin tightened against Harold’s fingers like a bird that just ruffled its feathers from revulsion. Scratching his fingers against her skin, Harold turned his attention to the movie. Oddly enough, Bella didn’t try and escape his grasp or pay any attention to herself by moving around. Feeling goosebumps against his fingers, Harold kept soundlessly stroking through her hair to try and console or comfort the girl so she wouldn’t leave. Bella probably thought that his hand was there as a threat against her trying anything; like he might start choking her if she looked at Casey, and if she asked that was exactly what he would say. ‘ What the ******** am I doing?’, But Harold didn’t want Bella to leave, and Casey being here was the only way to keep her around since she hated his guts. Worried about Casey as well, Harold was a little less concerned simply because he didn’t want to face the fact that Casey cared about Bella. His heart would shatter like glass, and he wasn’t ready for such a thing to happen, and thus why Harold focused so strongly on someone he loathed.
When Casey rushed away, Harold started to motionlessly lurch after him but his heart screamed no!. If he followed, he would see something he wasn’t ready to see, so Harold just scooted over a little bit to prevent anyone else from taking Casey’s seat like Einian if he came downstairs. But with no one to catch them, Bella turned her head with a soundless screech of vehement anger much resembling a Castlevania Harpy. Trying to yank her neck away from Harold’s hands.
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:17 pm
[What the bleep are you doing Harold?! o.O Why so touchy feel-y?]
Just thinking of him nearby made her heart ache and weep. Sputtering like a fairy being sucked of her pixie dust. Casey loved her, like a sister, and that knowledge still stung like the wound had been inflicted yesterday. How could she be anywhere around him when he would just feel guilty for not feeling what she was feeling? Closing her eyes as the image of Harold and Casey kissing each other before heading off to separate classes flashed into her brain, and in response her little heart screamed. Stop doing this to me! Stop torturing me! Don’t you care about me? Why humiliate yourself and draw things out when you know that your friendship is dead!? It will never be what it was! Bella lowered her head to open her eyes and stare at her hands.
‘ I know that.’
xxxxxCasey made his choice. He made it a long time ago.
Bella looked at the carpet and began to study the grooves in the fabric to keep her mind focused on something else; which failed miserably as the pain vice gripped her heart in a suicide machine programmed to jab thousands of little needles into it at the same time. ‘ I know…’ Her heart was not done chiding her, and made no secret of its pain. And I know you’ve excepted that! But why the hell are you doing this? Surely Casey knows your friendship is over! You being here is just going to make this WORSE. Get out. Now. Before he shows up. Bella’s mouth curled in pain. ‘ And just ditch him when he needs me? No.’ A silent growl screeched and sputtered in the bitterest anger Bella had imagined thus far: Why the hell not?! He had no trouble doing it to you!
That was the last straw that Bella could handle, but just as she just barely budged to move, there he was in the doorway and she couldn’t move. She couldn’t look at his face, but she knew by shoes alone that it was Casey standing there, and unable to look up and see the smile, Bella simply tried to rid every single texture of pain from her face to not worry him. To not make things worse. To not be responsible for Casey slipping into another depression. Anything to keep the guilt at bay. ‘ I should never have kissed him back.’, feeling she would regret it until the day she died, Bella just waited to see Harold’s feet before her heart could relax and she could go on and pretend that she felt absolutely nothing. Expecting Casey to sit a the far end of the couch, when she felt pressure -right next to her- her heart cried out in anguish. No! Why the hell!? Get away! Get the hell away from me! But of course Casey couldn’t hear any of that, and she didn’t want Casey to suspect anything as her trembling hand raised to turn on the tv.
It was as if ice had chilled the air, or an angered ghost had stolen away the heat of the room, just sitting so close to Casey when the last time they had been so close they were…Remembering the sensation of clamping her thighs around Casey’s hips as his body moved on top of her, Bella’s heart screamed once more, and she had to close her eyes for a moment just to keep from showing the pain on her face. Childbirth probably hurt less than this, and Bella’s body began to subtly tremble all over just to keep from screaming out because of it.
Suddenly fingers began to touch her neck through her hair, and shivers ran all over her body and froze her solid. Goosebumps ruffling all over because of it, for a split second Bella was petrified. Afraid that Casey had tried to touch her and show affection like he had when they were friends. Things that she hadn’t thought much of and had taken advantage of at the time. ‘ Oh Please. No. Don‘t touch me.’, but a glance at Casey’s lap concluded that it wasn’t Casey’s hand, and for some reason that sensation was now very calming and reassuring. Bella didn’t honestly care that Harold was touching her right now, which would normally filled her with hatred and disgust. At the moment, she just wanted any form of comfort to keep from crying or screaming. He used you, surely you can do the same. That seemed to be very good logic to a pissed off heart, and Bella didn’t make any effort to move. Even as Harold’s hands touched and caressed her hair.
The twilight zone sensation seemed to worsen as time went on, and all of a sudden Casey -slowly- bolted from the room and her heart lurched after him. Looking up and fully showing the broken heart on her face, Bella only had enough time to watch him disappear around the corner. ‘ I thought you wanted me here!?’, her heart was not happy about this development and piped up a disgruntled comment. Look what you did now Bella. He’s depressed again, just like Harold said had been happening. Stinging from the pain of the guilt, Bella felt both remorseful and disgusting. Disgusting because she obviously repulsed Casey because the pain she made him feel, and remorseful for it being her fault. Harold kept touching her neck, and with Casey being gone…why the hell was he still touching her?
Her heart screeching in an attack scream, Bella hurriedly moved away from Harold’s hand and sneered at him with pure, unadulterated, hatred. ‘ He‘s gone! You don‘t have to warn me not to try anything anymore! I don‘t even want to touch Casey Goddamnit!’ It only caused her more pain, made her feel more used, and she couldn’t bear the thought of it. Harold had that emotionless, vile, look on his face as if there wasn’t emotion on his face when the hatred was obvious in his eyes.
“ What the hell? Stop it.”, Bella whispered as her right hand reached up to rub the cooties from the back of her neck. Out of the corner of her eye, Bella saw Harold’s hands raise in a ‘fine/whatev’ motion, and Bella’s heart began to furiously vent. What the hell just happened?! I thought Casey wanted to be here and he just runs off?! DO YOU LIKE HURTING YOUR BOYFRIEND?! Bella was so jumbled, heartbroken, and confused that all she could do was shake her head in disbelief of what just happened.
“ I think I should go…”, Bella said as she slowly began to get up just before Harold reached up, grabbed her hand, and yanked her back onto the couch.
“ Don‘t move.”, His face was all seriousness, and Bella was not sure how to respond to it besides fear it. ‘ Don‘t you dare touch me! Like Hell I want to sit by you!’, Bella tried to pull away, but Harold’s grip was stronger.
“ Do you really want to see him in the hallway and risk him trying to talk to you?”, Glass snapped in her mind as pain flooded through her heart at such a thought. Her. Casey. Alone. ‘ No. No please. Anything but that.’ If Casey ever tried to talk to her about what happened, she would emotionally die, and Bella knew it too well. She could imagine it even now, him apologizing for feeling like he used, maybe even raped, his best friend in the world. How he would confess feeling guilty, regret for hurting her so much, and how much it would hurt to hear those words. To hear how bad he felt for not feeling the same way. In no way did Bella blame or hate Casey, but hearing all that was just too much for her to handle. Not now. Not after what Harold did. He had plenty of time to apologize before now, and he had made his decision a long time ago.
‘ Please Casey. Don‘t try to save me. Or save us. Just let me die.’ Forgetting of course that she was carrying his offspring, Bella was sadly only thinking of herself in this equation. Why would Casey want to be stressed out over a baby anyhow? Watching him run away in walk-speed, Bella didn’t think he could handle any more stress as it was. If he wants to know the baby…then you’ll never be able to leave him. You wont ever be able to escape from this pain. Bella stopped fighting Harold and let her wrist go limp. Harold, untrusting as always, did not let her go. She couldn’t answer him, what he said was true.
“ I didn‘t think so.”, Hearing Skull rub it in was like lemon juice being rubbed into a sore, and Bella just snarled and glared. ‘ Just because I would rather be alone with -you- than him DOESN‘T mean that I enjoy this any less!’ Bella hated Harold. Hated him. Hated him for tricking her into believing something so wonderful for even a moment when it wasn’t true. Breaking her wish to be with Casey into a million pieces. Even though she loved him, her heart broke at the idea of being with Casey thanks to this painted ghoul. Harold knew she wouldn’t be able to face that kind of rejection twice, or at least, she assumed he knew everything just because he was evil. Harold pulled her close, into his arms, and Bella was suddenly bombarded with thoughts of their false night together. His pevis banging into hers, and the complete surrender that she gave him. Repulsed, disgusted, Bella tried to pull away and looked up to see what look was on Harold’s face. She expected evil glee, happiness at her suffering, but he just looked the same as he usually did. A little hatred in his eye, but no expression except determination on his face. It was commanding, dominant, and somehow more evil than the demonic glee she had imagined herself to see.
“ Don‘t move.”, Harold said before pulling her into a hug and stroking both arms around her back. Squeezing her before her face was forced into his chest in an embrace. Was there anything worse than being held by Harold? No. Not much worse. Unless Casey tried to hold her. Thinking of the preferable of the two, Bella faked feeling ‘okay’ with being held and even pressed her hand against Harold’s chest to try and hug him back. After that, it wasn’t quite so bad. After all. The hatred was mutual, and she could feel it’s static electricity in the air. For reasons of just human biology liking the touch of another, Bella’s bitterness towards Harold began to numb slightly. Just use him like before. He’s doing it now too. Only then allowing herself to enjoy the embrace, all that ended with Harold’s back curved and his head tilted around. His pierced mouth pressing a soft kiss against her neck. Like he had before…while they were...His mouth beginning to press more little kisses up and down her neck. Stunned and unable to move, Bella would have become either ice cold or furiously angry if Harold hadn’t suddenly shoved her away and moved a throw pillow over his lap like he usually sat. Suspecting nothing, Bella would have shouted something if not for the fact that she heard footsteps in the hallway…
~
And when Iorwen entered the room, there was awkward silence for another reason and a little more space between Harold and Bella than there had been before. Thankfully Iorwen sat there, and saved Bella from further torment.
“ What are we watching?”, Bella calmly told her that they were watching ‘Despicable me’ before going back to watching the tv with an emotionless expression similar to the one now decorating Skulls. After the longest time, neither of them thought that Casey would come back it seemed. Harold mentioned something about being bored with the movie and left the house entirely…and Bella…without the comfort of knowing Harold could protect her from being alone with Casey, encouraged Iorwen to leave soon afterwards.
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 3:40 am
   RETURNMORETOCEN【Enigma⌒o f⌒freedom】RETURNMORETOCEN
【Unclosing⌒a n⌒unseen⌒d o o r】RETURNMORETOCEN ☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽RETURNMORETOCEN
Iorwen felt a little like she was betraying Bella in the next few days. She wasn't sure if the brunette wanted to talk to the little thundercloud. Yet Iorwen hoped that if she did set up this coincidental meeting, that things might just finally settle and that Bella could stop hiding her feelings.
Little did Iorwen know that she had just been talking with the father of the child growing in Bella's womb. Had she known, she might have been less caring and even rude enough to tell him to get over himself and care for the woman bearing his child. Io didn't know though and she wouldn't for quite long. She didn't ask what had happened between the thunder cloud and the brunette. Iorwen merely took a guess that it could have been that bad.
In the days that she was still in the house she started to notice that the cloud seemed to come alive with hope and it made the blonde feel as if she was going to do something good. Casey had found her choice of place wonderful, but had left any other comments unspoken. He had actually smiled while they had been there. Something the blonde hadn't seen much on the raven's face.
Then finally there was the day that Iorwen was moving to Bella's home. It was going take another few day before she would've moved all of her belongings, but that didn't matter. Iorwen felt like she was going to somewhere she'd feel at least a bit more at home, with at least one person that wasn't a stranger any more. She still had to convince Bella to go out for a drink the next day though.
"Bella..." She started re-folding one of her shirts and putting in the closet of what was to be her room. Bella had been helping her unpack another bag with some of her book, some of which were damage thanks to the throwing fit of a certain blonde.
"Would you like to go to that coffee shop again tomorrow?"
☾ ❂ ☽~┈━─═─☽ ❁ ☾─═─━┈~☾ ❂ ☽
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 5:33 am
[Oh ho ho...You have no idea what you just agreed to Billy. Edited poly]
“ Sure, that sounds like fun.”, Bella had said before she finished helping Iorwen unpack, and the next day Bella has spent nearly three hours preparing a suitable ensemble. ‘ Nothing too flashy or out of character…’, of course that was nearly impossible with the limited repitoire, so Bella just compromised herself only slightly to leave an extra button of her tomboyish blouse undone to show a hint of collarbone. Give her bodice a little shape. Standing in line at the coffee shop during this exact moment, Bella ordered something out of character, an pumpkin spice latte, that she only drank during special occasions or moments when the brunette felt sentimental. Not even thinking anything out of the ordinary, except that it might indicate Iorwen liking her a little, Bella then sat down at a quiet table in the far corner and sent her blonde friend a smile. ‘ Alright…I can do this.’, with that, the brunette began to open her mouth to speak…before another sight silenced her voice and drained the color from her face.
Casey was walking out of the parking lot…directly towards their little café.
‘ Oh no…no no no no no…’, Bella tried to sink into her chair, but it did no good. She was as concealed as she could be in the corner of the café already, and trying to hide under the table was a bit too juvenile for her own taste. ‘ Please don‘t come in here…please don‘t come in here…’, Perhaps Iorwen saw the worry in her eyes, but the moment Casey entered the café and started to look around, Bella had put on a mask, pretending that there was nothing uncomfortable about seeing Casey here at all.
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:34 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
Casey had arrived much earlier than the two ladies. He was incredibly nervous and had been stalked with old dreams and new nightmares during the whole of last night. In a way hoped that Bella had been warned by the blonde, but in another way Casey hoped she wasn't, afraid that his once closest friend would run. Especially after that last disastrous time. This was a meeting long overdue. Yet Casey couldn't help, but think that it would've been easier to face Bella if he hadn't woken up in a half empty bed in the middle of the night.
While at first it had been a strange comfort -one that said it never happened- Casey could only realize that he must've hurt Bella deeply that night. It had all gone without a word. All the had been said had been by Bella, right after Casey had dragged her up in an angry jealous haze of drunkenness.
'Case, what's wrong?'
He had simply kissed her and from that point it just got out of hand more and more. She had returned his every affection. Blushed, when he was hesitating for a second when they had wound up naked. Yet Casey's conclusion- that he only just reached- was as devastating to himself as to any person around. He had probably lied to himself for years, loved for the sake of not losing what he loved the most. He loved Bella, so much that he had turned to people he only loved half as much to avoid losing who he adored most.
What a stupid game you've been playing... how are you going to fix it now? You're surely a month late
Casey blamed his stupidity. Mentally excused himself to Harold, feeling guilty for the man. Yet he didn't know how he could ever pull it all straight and right. At least he could start with fixing a friendship he missed so dearly.
During the time that Casey knew that Bella had already arrived he was telling himself to be brave. Worse then it was it couldn't be. He just had to gather every ounce of guts he had to apologize. If it wasn't for that one terrible yet wonderful night, then it was for not talking to her when he had been so terribly close. Yet how could he explained that Harold had also been able to begin to scare him?
Just do it Case. Just do it already... The shorter the pain the better
And with the little bit of self encouragement he managed to get out his car and walk towards the small coffee shop. In his head kept repeating a mantra that he had to get it over with, but once he entered the coffee shop he could feel his guts sinking again and from as soon as he laid eyes on Bella it plummeted. She seemed to feel okay though. Yet, she had always been too good in keeping up appearances. For all he knew he had been long since spotted and she had long since crawled into her shell.
Just... Go for it. Casey encouraged himself once more, swallowed the immense stress he felt and without further ado, he walked towards Bella. He had thought about this moment allot before today. That about the possibilities, that he might rush in to hug her, that she might yell at him and Iorwen and just leave, that she might just sit there and say nothing at all.
"Bella..." He started, but his voice seemed falter. He didn't dare to take the liberty of sitting down and he felt as if a giant weight was hanging above his head to crush him. He breathed in deeply.
"Billy-bee! I'm sorry for being a complete and utter numbskull!"
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 7:51 am
[Quotes the joker: Very poor choice of words]
“ Oh hey Casey.”, Casey seemed to incapable of doing anything but stand there and Bella couldn’t stand the unspoken intensity that electrified the atmosphere. Like something very bad was going to happen, and Bella wouldn’t be able to stop the hurricane from coming through town. Swallowing the sip of coffee that she took, her eyes growing more worried by the moment, Bella turned her head quite suddenly to look at Iorwen for some kind of reassurance or support. Oddly enough, Bella hoped to see some small amount of surprize on the blonde’s face, but she did not look surprised at all. ‘ How come…you‘re not surprised?’ Not yet suspecting that the blonde was the executioner of what was left of her dignity, Bella just sat there and pretended to be fine and dandy as the unspoken intensity buzzed louder and louder.
“ Bella…”, Casey finally spoke her name, and it sounded so strange to hear her own title from his mouth that her stomach lurched uncomfortably. The fact that Casey seemed scared or upset, did not relieve any of her previous worries. Iorwen wasn’t surprised, Casey sounded scared…this all seemed subconsciously planned out, and Bella was trapped on the side of the table that leaned against the wall, with nowhere to go unless she bolted right past Casey without him grabbing her on the way out. The choice of tables couldn’t have been a coincidence, at least, that was the strange feeling that crawled up and down her body. All her nerves set aflame by static, Bella couldn’t help but feel like she was being cornered for something murderous.
“ Billy-Bee! I‘m sorry for being a complete and utter numbskull!”
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eyes widening like a harried cat, Bella just stared through Casey with that same robot expression that Pino had been so afraid of. Immobilized by so many thoughts at one time, Bella could only process the hurtful thoughts and recent information so quickly. While only a few moments passed before the terror and anguish left her face, it certainly felt to Bella like she had remained frozen out of time for ten minutes at least. Everything Casey had just shouted had been words that had been shared that night Harold tricked her into sleeping with him.
Casey…you can be a real numbskull sometimes.
xxxxx Billy. I love you.
Damn her for ever believing those words the first time. For ever believing that Casey could mean them! Damn Harold for taking something beautiful and desecrating it beyond recognition! From the void of her chest, an outspoken organ screamed in agony and took it’s betrayal by sending shooting pains through her arm. Fire sparks burning and sputtering from her heart and stinging wherever they happened to land. Bella closed her eyes to keep water from soaking the front of her face, and all she could hear was Harold’s voice.
My god are you gullible.
xxxxx Please stop…please stop.
I can‘t believe you really thought Casey would want to show up for you.
All Bella could hear was Harold’s laughter. Laughing at his own game. Loving every second of her torture. What had she ever done to him that deserved this punishment?! Clamping her eyes shut and lowering her head to try and hide her face from view, Bella suddenly remembered exactly what could have triggered it. Standing in Iorwen’s bedroom, Bella has shown her tear-ridden eyes to Harold and muttered some very humbling words: Why do you think?! She had just freely given Harold the gun and told him to shoot. Her mind could not keep silent, and in a desperate attempt not to blame Casey as a part of all this, it began to speak: Harold probably encouraged Casey to apologize just because he knew it would hurt you! He probably even coached Casey what to say! If only her heart could still think so positive.
Crying out in the bitterest anguish, Bella’s heart writhed in pain and rolled around on an imaginary floor. Coached Casey?! COACHED CASEY?! Like hell Harold coached Casey! You saw the look on that rat b*****d’s face when he kissed Harold at the college! He couldn’t have cared one spec that you were nearby! Bella wasn’t sure how she was emotionally handling the fact that her brain called Casey a ‘Rat b*****d’. If anything, it only hurt her more to hear the man she loved insulted so terribly by her own self. They are IN THIS TOGETHER! And GUESS WHAT?! IO obviously joined them. That pondering accusation too much for Bella to take without pain riddling her entire face, Bella’s hand began to tremble as she grabbed the coffee cup and tried to bring it to her shaky mouth.
Forgetting how to even use her muscles, a small bit of coffee just ran down her face like she was a stroke victim who couldn’t feel anything in her face to tell that the cup wasn’t quite at her mouth yet. Bella couldn’t think the worst of Iorwen. Not yet. She couldn’t handle it. ‘ Not knowingly! She wouldn‘t have planned out something like this! She wouldn‘t have wanted to emotionally bloody me!’ Her heart was not convinced. Then why doesn’t she look upset!? Why is she just drifting in the background and letting this happen?! Feeling betrayed by everyone she trusted, the end result left her feeling so void and shattered that she just couldn’t speak. Harold’s laughter was all she could hear.
Don’t you see what’s happening?! Casey is going to become very emotional! Try and convince you that he loves you, then squash you like a bug when I’m the most vulnerable! Her heart blasted quite bitterly. Imagining just that scenario, Bella closed her eyes and tried not to feel the sensation of burning coffee stinging the side of her chin from the accidental spill. Don’t do this to me again! Don’t kill me! Please! I’ve been butchered enough! Don’t believe this crap for a minute! For once, though it broke her heart all over again to do so, Bella began to believe it. And deciding not to be a victim. Not to show how badly she was broken, Bella grabbed her coffee; took a drink, and set it back down on the table. Unable to look at Casey, or anything, without showing the pain in her eyes.
“ Casey…”, At first her water-clogged voice choked her words and she had to stop to swallow the unshed tears before finishing. The remainder of her voice very emotionless, and void of feeling.
“ What are you talking about?”
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:55 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
Bella had often called Casey a numbskull whenever he had done something incredibly silly or stupid. So he had used the word without knowing what Bella linked it to. If he had even had an inkling he would've said something completely different to apologize. Yet he didn't know it. He hadn't connected to numerous dots in his head yet, but Bella was just about to let the coin start rolling. It wouldn't fall today, but later on. When his mind finally caught up with all the events that had spinned out without his knowing.
“ Casey…What are you talking about?”
"What?"
How the hell could she not know what he was talking about? HOW COULD SHE NOT! A lash of anger shot up in his mind, but he shook his head. He couldn't be mad that she was trying to block it out. He hadn't talked to her in over a month. Enough time to erase everything that had happened or at least suppress it.
Casey hardly looked at Iorwen, trying not to involve the blonde in whatever what was going on. She had done nothing wrong, nothing at all and was perhaps the last true support for Bella if anything. Last thing Casey wanted to do was let Bella rob herself from the force that Io represented. He hadn't even seen Iorwen mouth a 'later' in hopes of making clear that she would explain herself later.
Yet something else stirred in Casey's mind, something that his gut had known for a long time. Casey thought of the mere possibility that something else had happened in the five weeks they hadn't talked. Yet, it seemed so terribly unlikely that this could be true. How could somebody get madder when you didn't converse with them? He didn't think that he had made it worse with a single argument.
"Look... Bella..." Casey took another deep breath ordering his thoughts a bit more. He just hoped he could at least say something to turn things on a better tour. However, it didn't look like he had taken either a good entry or a good time to try.
"You can pretend you don't know what I'm talking about all you want." Yes, of course she was pretending. He had been able to catch a flash of hurt before her answer. "Just... Don't change. I know I've hurt you, but just don't change." Casey didn't want to talk directly about that night, but he did want to make clear he cared about Bella still. He didn't want to confess that he had realized that he had been in love with her for forever and had denied her that. He could figure that out if she'd at least stop with being mad.
"I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel... Think about it and let me know when I can... apologize" Casey said and then started to move to leave, yet he turned around one last time to say one last thing. "I don't want this to be the last time." And then he left. Hoping he hadn't made anything worse. Hoping that things might eventually take turn for the better.
((the effect of emotional VNV Nation songs heart )) Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:27 pm
“ Look…Bella…”, ‘ Here it comes.’, Bella braced herself and tried to avoid eye-contact even though his face was practically impossible to avoid. The seriousness on his face, Bella was drawn to it for subliminal reasons like a moth to the flame.
“ You can pretend you don‘t know what I‘m talking about all you want.”, Bella’s eyes flashed over in pain, and her heart lurched in her chest that she had been so easily read through. Oh I will, thank you. Casey wasn’t finished yet, and Bella was frozen to her chair.
“ Just…Don‘t change. I know I‘ve hurt you, but just don‘t change.”, What is this nonsense? Bella agreed with her quizzical heart and the confusion showed on her face. ‘ What does that mean?! What does that even mean ‘Don‘t change’ like I can possibly go back to the way it was?!’ Confused, Bella couldn’t respond to him. Like he has any say over me. He’s been gone for six weeks, without a word, and he expects you to still do him favours? Haven’t you done enough?
“ I don‘t want you to hate for all the hurt you feel…”, At this point Bella slowly shook her head back and forth in defeat, wordlessly admitting that she couldn’t do that if she tried to. Bella could get mad at someone or something, but she couldn’t hate anything. Not even Harold, though at times she almost did.
“…Think about it and left me know when I can…apologize.” Haha! Never? Bella’s heart sputtered without her permission, and Bella sadly looked at the floor when Casey turned around. Obviously the man wasn’t going to say anything else, nothing that she had hoped to hear even though she dreaded it more than words could say. Not expecting Casey to turn around, Bella had kept her eyes lowered towards the coffee that she no longer wanted to drink until hearing his voice. Only raising her head an inch to see his face in the corner of her eye, Bella’s heart began to foolishly flutter about because for one moment she felt important enough to be fought over.
“ I don‘t want this to be the last time.”, Then he was gone again, and Bella was a robot due to Casey’s absence. ‘ You don‘t want to not see me anymore?’, that made even less sense! Then why was he gone for so long?! Was he a blubbering idiot? Was he oblivious to what she had gone through for four weeks? Feeling like she was unwanted by Casey while grieving the loss of her father? Did his parent’s not call and tell Casey that her father died? They had been at the funeral, she thought she saw. Bella wanted to cry, oh the calamity, and rid herself of all this emotion; but, she couldn’t. Dry as dust except for the water still making her eyes glossy, Bella looked down at her coffee for the longest time. Not wanting to talk and open up any wounds to Iorwen right now. Not while she couldn’t handle it. Sitting in silence, Bella finally stood from the table after the longest ten minutes of her life.
“I‘m…I‘ll walk home Winnie. I need some time by myself.”, barely able to speak the words, her voice was so shaky, Bella walked to the trash bin and threw away her almost full coffee before getting in line and ordering something less sentimental. Only sneaking apologetic glances at Iorwen, who she wasn’t mad at or blamed in any way, Bella ordered an eggnog latte and walked out as soon as it was handed to her. Bursting out the door, Bella took one last, hopeful, look at the parking lot for Casey’s car but she couldn’t see anything in the first two rows that resembled his car. Convinced that he probably left, like always, Bella made a beeline for the street and softly punched the button for the crosswalk. The fresh air outside was wonderfully gentle as it breezed through her brown hair, and the comforting sensation of being caressed helped sooth her nerves. Chocolate eyes surveying the autumn colors in the trees, she caught the flash of color in the right of her eye before crossing the street and walking down the road to the first turn. Taking a sip of her drink, the girl then disappeared into a residential neighbourhood that was not the route home.
Thirty minutes later Bella was sitting on a park bench next to the empty paper cup. The park itself wasn’t that special or sentimental to the brunette, but it did remind her of other parks back home. One’s she had played on with Casey around the age when being in the same paddling pool naked wasn’t inappropriate yet. Little things like turning the playground into a ‘castle’ and playing a medieval game to amuse themselves for a few hours floated through her mind, and Bella could not escape from an entire lifetime of memories. To suddenly not have Casey around, after all these years together, was like loosing him and her father at the same time. While she assumed it was possible to cope from such a thing, Bella could not imagine it without excrusiating pain. ‘ I‘m sure the feeling is mutual…’
Watching a mother trying to converse with two bouncing boys on the jungle gym a good distance away, Bella’s heart began to lurch and soften at the same time. Until now she could push away the fact that she was expecting. There being no physical proof besides nausea and mood swings that she was even having a baby, perhaps it had been quite simple to forget and not worry about it. But here? In a park with no one else but a mother and two children to occupy her thoughts, Bella could not escape the matter any longer. Watching every facet of the playground, and playing with her baby in one someday, could she just…live…without Casey around? Just raise what could very well be their baby (ha) without him or her knowing who their father was and spending time with him? ‘ I can‘t do that…not when he doesn‘t want to end our friendship.’ She still loved Casey very deeply, and to rob a man of so much…she wouldn’t even do that to Harold. Much as she would want to.
“ Kevin! Stop pulling on your brother‘s hair!”, Bella could hear the mother in the distance shout towards her children through the bars as she began to job in Bella’s direction. Looking forward to millions of annoying little situations like this, Bella frowned and wished -for once- that she owned a cellphone so that she could call Casey and talk to him. ‘ I don‘t want to talk in person.’ That could very well have disastrous consequences like another night she couldn’t handle. Sitting in silence for the longest time, eventually the mother called for her children and began to walk past her bench towards the curb where Bella guessed that her car was parked. Something about the woman made a strange boldness come over the brunette, and she stood from her spot to jog after her.
“ Excuse me!”, Bella stopped when the woman and her two young boys stopped and turned to stare at her.
“ Yes?”, Bella delayed no longer.
“ Do you have a cellphone I can borrow? I‘m a bit stranded here…”, The woman made a quizzical expression that bore underlines of distrust before relinquishing the phone from her pocketbook. Walking a short distance away to make her phone call, Bella wasted no time in dialing Casey’s number with her trembling hands. Hoping, praying, that Casey would not break character by answering an unknown number, Bella waited as the phone rang four times before hearing Casey’s voice in the answering machine. Relieved, and thankful, Bella knew she would have a much harder time talking to him if he had actually picked up the phone.
Beep… Bella knew what she had to say, and after taking an apprehensive breath to calm herself, she began to speak into the ebony mouthpiece of the cheap little go-phone.
“ Casey…its me Bella. I‘m using a payphone, so don‘t try and call this number…”, Wasting enough time on explanations, she hurried before her time ran out.
“ I don‘t hate you Casey. How could I hate you?”, Bella looked up only long enough to make sure that the mother was not eavesdropping on her conversation.
“ If you want to talk…we can talk. About anything…except that night.”, She paused only long enough for a quick breath.
“ I‘ve spent too long…worrying about that night…and Skull already…”, Pain made her voice shaky, and Bella wished she had better control over her emotions to not reveal any heartbreak on the phone.
“ He already explained everything…so please…don‘t…make me hear it again.”, Her voice only growing steadily worse, Bella felt so terribly ashamed to sound so emotional on the phone. Clearing her throat to get a hang on herself, Bella smiled even though Casey couldn’t see it.
“ I miss you Casey…I don‘t want to not be your friend anymore. I‘m not home right now, but I‘m staying at 355 Elm street if you want to stop by some-”
Beeeeeep…
Defeated by the clock, Bella simply pressed ‘#’ star ‘1’ one and closed the phone before handing it back to the woman and offering a faint little smile.
“ Thank you…”, Bella said before sitting back down on the bench long enough for the woman to leave.
~
Throwing the cup away in the trash can before leaving the park, Bella wasn’t home until after nightfall, and when she did come home, she only paused long enough to smile at Iorwen before going strait to bed and gently closing her door.
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Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 7:57 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
Casey had driven to a completely empty parking lot at the edge of town. To think some more about what he had said and if he had said the right things. If Bella would understand or not what he was trying to say. He had noticed that phone call, but because he didn't know the number he left it ringing. Usually unknown number didn't ring for that long. That was a bit unusual.
He only really checked the message when he had come home late that day. He knew he might have worried Harold, but he cared little. There was just something off with the male's behaviour lately and Casey needed somebody to give him a break and the message seemed more than proof enough that she'd give him the break that he so needed. Knowing that she had used a number unknown to him made Casey regret he hadn't picked up his cell when it had been ringing earlier.
“ I don‘t hate you Casey. How could I hate you?”
She didn't hate him and that was an incredible relief to the male. Casey could almost feel his heart jump a little at those words and somewhere he knew that her saying that -on a message or not- meant a big difference. Yet it was weird to hear her say she had been worrying about Harold. Why did she have to worry about him? What exactly did he explain? He had claimed she had been the one to call it off...
What was this shady business?
The message ended and Casey listened to it at least three more times before his heart clutched tightly in his chest when a realization properly hit him. Harold had been playing them, both of them. He had probably said A to one person and C to another and left out B completely. Or something along those lines.
You know him having your cologne and her ring disappearing by his hand was weirdly timed.... Yet... It must be a coincidence.
Really? Was that a coincidence? Nobody was guilty until proven so... Casey lightly swallowed. It was way too late, but... He really wanted to figure this out tonight. If not that, then he at lee it on Bella's face that she still wanted him as a friend at least.
Skully... I'll figure out what you've been up to... With or without you...
Casey drove to the address Bella had told him about. Where he once again waited for his guts to settle. He stared at Harold's gift ring for a long time before taking it of and tossing it on the passenger seat. Casey just preferred that 'stupid' 'cereal-box' ring over something that was meant to get him over that thing.
Casey got out of the car. it probably was around midnight. He was pretty sure that he would be able to wake only Bella and not one of her house mates. He had known her for long enough that she rarely slept with her window closed and the advantage was that this was a one storey house unlike that of her parents back home. Casey circled the house and soon found the only window that was open. Casey knocked on the glass of the open window hoping to wake up the brunette if she was really sleeping.
"Bella!... It's me... Case"
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:47 am
Laying in bed for the longest time, Bella had been restless and unable to sleep. Alone with nothing but her thoughts to console her, the silence had been deafening and unable to avoid. ‘ Oh Casey…did you even get my message?’ She could only hope that he had and say a silent prayer. Tossing and turning for what felt like hours, the woman finally resisted the hope that she would fall asleep to climb from her blankets and walk towards the bathroom in the hopes that a warm shower would soothe her body into slumber when she returned to fight her pillow once more. Walking back into her bedroom clad in her guiness t shirt and a pair of shorts, Bella’s freshly blown-dry hair still warmedthe sides of her face when she began to hear a knocking against the glass.
Tap, tap, tap…
“ Bella!...It’s me…Case.”, For a split second Bella feared the silhouette being Harold once again, but why would the man waste the time to fool her twice? Harold should that she would not be so gullible twice. ‘ It has to be Casey!’ There was only one thing left to do, and Bella wasted no time in rushing over to the light switch and turning it on long enough to see Casey’s face looking in through the window. Harold could not have gotten plastic surgery this fast, nor as perfectly done. ‘ You showed up so soon!’, Bella was not sure whether she should be worried or ecstatic, but he was here, and that was all she needed to know before rushing forward to help him into her dark room and embracing her arms around his waist. Nuzzling her face into Casey’s chest as if that one moment of comfort could make up for everything that had happened in the past month and a half. Perhaps she was being selfish and unfair by not letting him speak first, but for believing that she would never hold her friend again, it was heaven to feel the warmth of his arms. The rush of his scent and not just his cologne.
“ I thought you’d never come back…”,Bella whispered as her cheek rested overtop Casey’s shirt. Her right hand softly stroking in comforting brushes up and down his back to caress him. Heaven might as well opened long enough for her to hear a glimmer of angels singing, even if he came to destroy her.
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 1:31 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
The flash of light from inside Bella's room was blinding for Casey. He could hardly see Bella until it all when dark again and she rushed over to help him through the window. She let him in and that was more of a comfort than Casey had initially expected. Her embrace was even less expected and he could feel his stomach flutter at her touch. He wasn't sure what to say, but she beat him to it.
“ I thought you’d never come back…”
Casey could feel emotion crawl up his throat and he simply returned the brunette's embrace. He simply held her and let his fingers move through her still pleasantly warm hair. The near two months old memories soothed his mind. He still didn't know what to say though. He was so speechless, but his heart screamed to speak with actions. He didn't want to though and resisted that strong urge to kiss Bella on the top of her head. All he could do was speak in honesty.
"Billy... I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do... I still don't."
He didn't dare to speak louder than a whisper. He really wanted to be their moment of reunion. Theirs alone.
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 2:07 am
“ Billy…I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do...I still don’t.”, What ever could he mean? Bella mused against the warmth of his body. Intoxicated by the blissful sensation of being on so good of terms again, it took Bella a moment to realize the obvious. ‘ Oh Casey…how can I stay mad at you?’, Too selfish of his presence to break the embrace, Bella only loosened her arms enough to raise her left arm and delicately slide her window closed. One never knew whom could be listening, and seeing as her nightmares with Harold kept worsening night after night, she did not wish for their moment to be interrupted too soon. Squeezing Casey to her chest again, Bella could not resist nuzzling her face against his chest to speak against his shirt.
“ Casey…please don’t blame yourself.”, Billy softly begged as she coddled her nose through a gap in-between the buttons of his shirt. Only able know where she was by touch alone, Bella could not resist the unquenchable desire any longer and gently pressed a small kiss to the skin of his chest where her nose had brushed against a moment before. He needed reassurance, and she wished to alleviate his worries.
“ You were wasted, I’d had one too many drinks. I understand that it didn’t mean anything…”, Bella spoke in a honey-softened voice, pausing only to breathe and let out her sweet little sigh through her aura.
“ But I know that I mean something to you. I could never think the worst of you Casey…you’re my best friend.”, and then Bella folded her arms around his body a little tighter and squeezed him tightly to her chest.
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 2:50 am
~ • Carl • Cαsε[y] • Jøнηsøη • ~ Can't stay awake, burning alive
I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies.
Casey couldn't let go of Bella either. Perhaps afraid that this was all a dream and that she'd evaporate if he did dare to let go. He knew that wasn't true though. Yet he had missed her so much. He couldn't deny that. He would never be able to deny that any more.
“ Casey…please don’t blame yourself.”
Casey swallowed tightly. He had blamed himself, because Bella had ran away. Blamed himself because he was sure to have hurt her and it just sounded like that when she said she understood it hadn't meant anything. Knowing that Bella kissed a small part of his chest made Casey shiver. Somewhere inside his mind begged not to let her do that again. It felt... Good though.
Oh Bella... You have no idea what it meant.
“ But I know that I mean something to you. I could never think the worst of you Casey…you’re my best friend.”
Casey swallowed again and lightly shook his head. Best friends... Wasn't this how it all kept going wrong? Just best friends nothing more. All that affection they had ever showed it was just play and drunkenness.
"Bella... You mean everything to me."
Casey wasn't sure if it was safe to admit this. Yet did it still matter? What was there to lose? Harold... Oh Casey just knew he had to forget about the man. Just now... He had to forget about the painted male. Casey knew who he wanted more... He knew it and he also knew it would only harm himself more if he denied it to himself.
"Can I stay tonight?"
He pulled back a little trying to look in her eyes, but in the darkness this was hardly possible.
Hard to define, it always is
It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass -I get in line, I always do-
დდდ
XXX
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