151 Friggin' Questions.

Q: Hey, why do you double-post so much?
A: Because I know you are powerless to stop me.

Q: Oh holy balls this shop seems to have so many in-jokes! How will I ever catch up and feel like a real regular?
A: SHOW US YOUR TITS

Q: What do you have against animals in pants?
A: Oh, rats, you’re one of those SINA people, aren’t you.

Q: WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?
A: If you were a movie star, you could make ANY room your bathroom.

Q: Wtf is a Dickens? What are these animals you are selling. Dogs... with... I'm so confused.
A: It’s really best if you don’t think about it.

Q: Is there a place in the guild to journal/rp/whatever?
A: We’ve got a spot you can make a journal in, yeah. Official rp space hasn’t been set up yet, so if that’s your thing you can do it pretty much wherever you want.

Q: Who took the cookies from the cookie jar?
A: IT WASN’T ME, and I am sick of you bringing this up!

Q: What's the meaning behind the name?
A: 8D

Q: hey can you give me a dollar?
A: Look at your ******** shirt! Give ME a dollar.

Q: Your excessive use of such foul vernacular flusters and revolts me. Could you be bothered to use less of those perturbing and filthy words???
A: fffffuuuuuuuck noooooooo

Q: man how the ******** do two ladydicks and two gentledicks have baby dicks? like is it science or magic or just what the ********> the way two ladydicks or two gentledicks have baby dicks is that science and magic do a big naked high-five, and an electric guitar solo shrieks, and then everybody is pregnant. I’ve got it on video.

Q: So hey will you bitches help me with my English homework or what?
A: We can help, but don’t expect us to EVER BE RIGHT.

Q: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
A: I see what you did there

Q: Who'd you rather: Derplet or Garbage Bags?
A: D:

Q: Is that my vomit in your hair?
A: Huh? No, I think it’s wet birdseed.

Q: Why did you just pee on me?
A: Because I hang out with dogs too much. And I LIKE you.

Q: Why do I find Bomba's presence so revolting?
A: CHIKA I KNOW YOU WROTE THIS

Q: Why can't I be more amazing like Chika?
A: CHIKA

Q: How come you let Chikagi post in your shop? That's more of a courtesy than she deserves.
A: Because it's easier than calling animal control.

Q: Where are my pants?
A: What, these? You don’t need these.

Q: WHY DOESN'T THIS SHOP HAVE A METAPLOT?
A: ahahaha, lol

Q: I think I saw Derplet on hotornot.com. Is this shop-sanctioned?
A: Derplet and I have a deal that we don’t look into one another’s personal lives.

Q: ******** magnets! How do they work?
A: Magic everywhere in this b***h.

Q: Does anyone do any actual work around here?
A: (will get around to answering this later)

Q: Is it true that Bombazine is actually David Bowie?
A: No, that’s just a weird rumor. Bombazine is actually Gilbert Gottfried.

Q: Are ANY topics taboo around here?
A: Yeah, we don’t talk about that thing where you let a dog put its *** up your ****n***r underwater, we all agreed it’s a bit much.

Q: Why did Derplet take my medication?
A: Because he’s illiterate.

Q: If a herring and a half costs a dollar and a half, how much does your mom cost for one night?
A: Four hundred herrings (she’s a classy lady).

Q: This shop barely/never has any drama! Can I rant about drama from other shops to fill the gaping void?
A: Sure you can! But, you know, it’s not like only dickens people are gonna read it.

Q: Does anything awesome happen on each 100 pages the thread hits?
A: No.

Q: Do you take sexual favors in exchange for hot dickens love?
A: No. (yes)

Q: I've got this weird rash and I'm not sure what it is. Could you take a look at it?
A: PICTURES OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN

Q: What do I have to do to get on the blacklist?
A: Be like Chika.

Q: Who do I have to blow to get off the blacklist?"
A: Chika.

Q: OMG ur shading tmplatez are the besssssssst!!!!!!!!!!! Can u shade for me plz? Im opening a bc shoppe too!!!!
A: …what

Q: Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
A: It’s a banana.

Q: Can I name my pet Kawaii Kiken Onara-chan?
A: No, but only because somebody already named their d**k that.

Q: Can I name my pet an actual vulgarity?
A: You can, but you should know it counts as circumventing Gaia’s cuss filter to actually display it on gaia.

Q: I like turtles.
A: You know what? I don’t believe you.

Q: I've heard rumors about breeding orgies, how do those work?
A: Magnets!

Q: Cha-Cha-Cha: why has he not yet been struck down by an angry god?
A: Because even the gods fear Cha-Cha-Cha.

Q: Did G-Bags go through gender reassignment surgery?
A: Baby, she was born that way.

Q: Can I have a pair of your panties?
A: You have made a critical error in assuming I wear underwear of any sort.

Q: Why do they call not wearing underwear 'going commando'?
A: No one’s really sure – it came into use around the mid-70’s and might refer to the idea of being ‘out in the open’ or ‘ready for action’.

Q: Did Beebs ever get to relieve herself as hinted at on the front page? If not, did her bladder explode? If her bladder didn't explode, did she reabsorb the urine?
A: That was an elaborate hoax; Beebs doesn’t produce urine.

Q: What do these things eat?
A: Garbage and weaker Dicks!

Q: Can you loan me a couple of dolla for lunch? I spent all mine on booze and hot Dicks.
A: Sounds like you’ve eaten lunch already. ;D

Q: Do you have free derp refills?
A: All day, every day.

Q: What's smegma?
A: >8I

Q: Are male or female dicks the dominant sex? Do female dicks have dicks, or are their names just misleading?
A: What did I tell you guys about asking serious questions? DON’T.

Q: What's the in-canon status of all those edits and clothes? Are they considered normal or total freaky mutants or super hot or BOTH?
A: I’d say “hot mutant” hits pretty close to the truth.

Q: Do dicks have any culture?
A: That depends if you’re willing to call knowing all the wrestlers from WWE “culture”. (although actually, yes, they do, and no, wrestling is not being broadcast)

Q: In their world, do dicks interact with humans at all? Are they seen as gross vermin, like raccoons?
A: In their world, humans don’t exist – just all their stuff.

Q: What would happen if you shaved a d**k?
A: It would get pretty goddamn itchy in a couple days.

Q: What will Dicks do if you pet them for lengthy periods of time?
A: I dunno, learn to manipulate you emotionally? What are you looking for here, a d**k joke? Come on.

Q: Do Dicks ever get cocky? What about ballsy?
A: This question is funnier than any answer I can come up with.

Q: Are d**k piercings allowed?
A: I dunno, are you into that kind of thing?

Q: What is the saddest thing?
A: The saddest thing is a dog that goes to an invention expo with a machine that simulates its master petting it.
R: Noooooo!

Q: Why did daddy leave us when I was only 2 years old?
A: Oh, honey, I lied about daddy leaving. Daddy’s dead.

Q: If Dicks COULD wear pants... would they wear Dickies brand?
A: DICKS DON’T WEAR PANTS. >XU

Q: Derplet? Derplet, this is Scara. W...would you go with me to the Hi-Teen Carnival?
A: What about Scara? Scara knows how to have a good time, and how to make the fella with her relax, and have fun too! Yes, that’s what a boy likes. He wants to know he’s appreciated.

Q: Also, what is the square root of corndogs?
A: Giant turtles.

Q: Why does Chika hate Christmas? Is it because Christmas comes only once a year?
A: Actually, it’s because Chika’s family locks her in the cellar over Christmas to keep her from ruining it.

Q: Can you give me good music suggestions?
A: Yes.

Q: Kindly explain the difference between Adona Benedicta, Donar, and Little Adona Benedicta.
A: No.

Q: Is it normal to have fantasies about these guys?
A: Never ask a person with a shop about goat-dogs and the apocalypse what is normal.

Q: Can I get them in any colour or do they have to be black, red and blue?
A: what

Q: How do I get my hands on a big fat one?
A: Some people are just luckier than others.

Q: How exactly do the male dickens give birth?
A: Magnets.

Q: How many dickens can fit in one orgy?
A: Depends on the venue, really. So far it’s been five or six.

Q: If you're blue and you don't know where to go why don't you go where fashion sits?
A: No

Q: What time is it?
A: ADVENTURE TIME

Q: What's the square root of a Starie?
A: I can’t remember; I do know that the square root of a unicorn BECOMES a Starie, though.

Q: Can I direct link?
A: Yes.

Q: Can I hotlink?
A: Yyyyes.

Q: Can I sausage link?
A: I would never try to stop you.

Q: Who left the goddamn kitchen light on? I have told you guys a million times to shut off light when you leave the room to save electricity, but does anyone listen? Nooo! Whoever it was had better step up and pay the ********' electric bill this month, or we're going to be sitting here in the dark, got it?
A: Chika.

Q: Do your ears hang low, wobble to and fro, and have the ability to be tied into a knot and/or bow?
A: Nope! I got that fixed.

Q: Do Dickens watch television?
A: Nope!

Q: What about music? Fave. bands?
A: Music is a bit too highbrow for dicks.

Q: What are the naming rules?
A: WHAT NAMING RULES?

Q: Is it ever inappropriate/obnoxious to type in ALL CAPS? Was this thread started by BILLY MAYS or SOMETHING?
A: It’s always obnoxious, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it! And no, but I’ll have you know Billy Mays and I were pen pals at a very formative age for me.

Q: Have you killed your logic today?
A: Not mine, just someone else’s.

Q: I can has cheezburger?
A: No, this one’s mine.

Q: If I promise to stop touching you inappropriately with my eyeballs, will you promise to stop sending me dead things in the mail?
A: Baby, we can both promise whatever we want, but you know I’m never gonna stop.

Q: Gregory J.P. Godek is on your front porch, possibly in a mankini. He bends over and slips a pizza coupon under the door. It has been cut into the shape of a pig heart. What do you do?
A: I open the door.

Q: Do dicks have life expectancies?
A: Theoretically, yes, but I’m not about to enforce it.

Q: Do dicks ever become barren?
A: Again – in theory, yes. It’s the player’s choice to implement, though.

Q: How often do they give the hot dickings?
A: Hot dickings are served Monday through Friday, 11AM to 10PM.

Q: Do the hot dickings come from a Dr. Tran?
A: Okay, you lost me.

Q: Do dickings like their vapor trails?
A: what

Q: Do dickings like their blood on the windshield?
A: WHAT

Q: But who was phone?
A: WHAT

Q: Is it ever ok to make fun of someone's d**k? Or to have d**k envy?
A: Both of these things are undesirable, but inevitable parts of the human experience. You’re very insightful.

Q: Do any of the dicks feel inadequate?
A: Not MY dicks.

Q: What would Sigmund Freud think of Dicks?
A: I’m guessing a few specific ‘fixations’ would come up.

Q: BOMBA. Why is your name so fun to type in all caps?
A: ******** this question

Q: Do dicks have to wait a certain period of time after a breeding before getting more action?
A: Dicks can breed once a month.

Q: Do Dicks shrink when it gets cold?
A: Well, as far as I know, they get fluffier.

Q: Have you ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like?
A: Twice.

Q: Who are you people?
A: We are the WORST

Q: how is babby formed, how d**k get pragnent
A: too many dicken become instain mother

Q: I am twelve and what is this?
A: TURN AROUND, DON’T LOOK BACK.

Q: Who was Louis XIV?
A: He was a great jazz trumpeter.

Q: If Train A is going south at fifty miles an hour starting in Boston and Train B is stuck on the tracks, how much are the families of the passengers able to sue for?
A: What do I look like, a scientist?

Q: Who gave me this briefcase stuffed with Milk Duds?
A: I will answer this depending on how awesome you think a briefcase stuffed with Milk Duds is.

Q: Will it blend?
A: Eventually.

Q: a/s/l? wat u wearin?
A: 3/f/hollowed out dump truck, im wearin a cat skeleton and a empty fruit loops box

Q: May I please ask your assistance in preparing a fine ground beef sandwich with melted cheese for my consumption?
A: I hate cats.

Q: What are the shop mules' full names? Y'know, like does Derplet have a last name? IS Derplet a last name?
A: Just Garbage Bags and Derplet.

Q: Where should I put my dicks?
A: Aww, you know where I think you should put your dicks. ;3

Q: Is there a rear entrance for Dicks? ;D
A: Yeah, but I don’t let anybody use it unless we’ve been dating at least a year.

Q: When will you guys stop d**k-ing around and do actual work?
A: TBA

Q: Is it bad to wanna hoard Dicks?
A: It’s not bad to hoard, but it IS good to be generous.

Q: Can we trade Dicks?
A: What, you and me? No.

Q: Can Dicks inbreed?
A: god yes

Q: How do i get My First d**k?
A: whine a lot Hang around, try for what’s available. It’s really quite easy if there are dicks available to get in the first place!

Q: If a d**k gets blown on hard enough, does it inflate?
A: As far as I know, there is no difference between cartoons and real life, so YES.

Q: If a d**k gets blown on too hard, will it pop?
A: Again, I assume so.

Q: What is the velocity of an unladen swallow?
A: Well, that depends on which direction the swallow is flying.

Q: Will my questions be answered more rapidly if i post them multiple times?
Q: Will my questions be answered more rapidly if i post them multiple times?
A: That depends on whether you ask enough times to make it fun for me to NEVER answer you!

Q: Is it possible to have too many dicks at once?
A: With a little patience, you can condition the human body to accept almost anything.

Q: ... Will you marry me?
A: :D

Q: Can i get a d**k anywhere?
A: I don’t understand

Q: Who do I have to ******** to get a break in this freaking town?!
A: I am going to tell you it’s me, but it isn’t.

Q: Would you be willing to distribute nude pics?
A: The ones you gave me for St. Patrick’s Day? You said they were never to be circulated!

Q: What if it's for the sake of ART?
A: Well, in that case…let me just assemble my mailing list.

Q: You see I like to hang out and get pets in multiple B/C shops, but would you find it offensive if I had both Dicks and Boobs?
A: Baby it’s 2011, you can have three of everything and I still won’t flinch.

Q: Is that a d**k in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
A: Not gonna lie, I am really happy to see you.

Q: If the shop was a type of cheese, which type would it be? I like many cheeses myself, but I can't decide which one Dicken's epicness compares to the best!
A: I find it flattering that you assume I eat any cheese that doesn’t spray out of a can, but it has led to a gross misimpression on your part.

Q: How much dicks can be in one d**k at once?
A: You mean, how much d**k can go in a d**k if a d**k can go in a d**k in a d**k? Seven.

Q: Oh dickens, your shop be so dirty! Why?
A: Because it’s run by a gang of 13-year-old boys.

Q: zOMFG CAN I HAZ A d**k I NEEDS ONE
A: YEAHHH WTF LET’S DO IT

Q: Your momma...?
A: Yeah, she’s here.

Q: Why?
A: Because I love her.

Q: What's the difference between a labraderp and a labrador?
A: Labraderps are surprisingly bad swimmers. Also, if they sneeze on you it’s lucky.

Q: What's the weirdest thing you've ever put in your nose?
A: A baby hand.

Q: What is the best cuss ever?
A: I can’t repeat it, but I will tell you it made my tongue fall out of my mouth.

Q: What is the best cuss ever from a Dickens cusspage?
A: All the ones that I say, probably.

Q: What is the square root of Canada?
A: Manitoba, I think? I was never good with geogmaphry.

Q: If a train from Sacramento leaves at 3:45 pm going 50 miles an hour, and a train from Austin leaves at 4:23 pm going 64 miles an hour, and there is 789 miles in between the two cities, how many wallets will G-Bags have stolen from the passengers by the time the trains pass each other?
A: Trick question! G-Bags is not on the train.

Q: Does Derplet get wet dreams yet? And if so, what does he dream about at those times?
A: No. >:c

Q: Po-tay-toe or po-tah-toe - WHICH IS IT?
A: It’s po-tah-toe, we’ve been over this.

Q: What does this acronym stand for? QGOAP
A: “Quick! Go Outside And Poop!”

Q: If I put my herp in your derp will we both get herpderpies?
A: lol’d

Q: What is Dickens' theme song?
A: Corn and I can’t come to an agreement on this.

Q: What is the square root of Little Adona Benedicta minus the Pythagorian Theorum when you smash it with a herring?
A: Magnets.

Q: Who are you and where are my pants?
A: My name is Bombazine and you were not wearing pants when I found you.

Q: What will I do when I don't have you to hold onto in the dark?
A: You’ll write down good reasons to freeze to death, in your spiral-ring notebook (but in the long tresses of my hair, you are a babbling brook)

Q: What do we do with ten baby shoes a kit-bag full of marbles and a broken billiard cue?
A: Sounds like an ART PROJECT

Q: What's that smell?
A: That’s DEFINITELY you.