Interview with Imaru!
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Well, well, well, we're back with another edition of our interviews! In the chair today is the very very special IMARU! Hi there, Imaru!
Hey.
So... if you don't mind me asking, where have you been?!
I've been around, honest!
I just keep to myself. I've been studying. On the beach. Almost always on the beach. Beach.
Studying... and sketching? I hear you're quite the artist.
Ah... Not really. You know some of the others here? They draw WAY better than me. I'm mad jealous of their skills. I just like to waste time.
...I mean study.
Observe.
Hahaha. Is there anything or anyone you've been "observing" in particular?
No. [Staring off in the distance at Lorika's legs]
But I do know who's responsible for not replacing the toilet paper rolls in the bathroom when it runs out.
...[Stunned] I... see...
And who's been sneaking all the desserts from the kitchen. Y'know, the guy who's been digging out of the food and leaves obvious finger claw marks in stuff? Oh, and who doesn't wash their laundry as often as the others.
Wow, I can see you'd be very useful for gathering intelligence. You feel like working for me?
[Didn't even notice he was asked a question, humming and watching something to the side]
[Whisper] Is there anything ELSE you've noticed about anyone?
[Whispers back] Jessie has pretty eyes and hair. And when he walks he floats like a cloud. Or a double rainbow.
...
...Anything... you know... more substantial?
One time I was walking and I found this shell and I wanted to show someone but no one was around so I put it in my hat and then I lost it. And then Jessie found it for me. It looked a little different but it was okay.
...
...
...Anything el-?
He's a really nice guy that Jessie.
...Oooka-
Really nice eyes. [Gentle smile]
o_o
He only has one eye, you know.
Yeah I know. I should ask him how he lost it, but it seems insensitive to ask. I don't want to see tears in his eyes, it kills me when people cry.
Imaru, he only has ONE eye.
I know, but it's mean to point it out. :[ Do you have more questions for me?
[Totally abashed] I didn't mean... I mean... I didn't think... most people wouldn't... um. I wasn't trying to be insensitive...
S-so, the beach! Did you grow up near the beach?
Yeah! I love the beach. All us kids used to play around in the ocean all the time. I was the best swimmer. Not the fastest, but I could fight the huge waves and swells.
Have you met any of the mer just yet?
[very soft gulp] Uhh, I've heard about them. The old man who took care of us kids said he met a few before. Said they were beautiful and majestic. I don't know about that myself. I eat fish all the time, and the word majestic never crossed my mind.
Yeah, never met one.
So you're a fan of seafood? How about... clams?
I ate one once, and didn't care much for it. This was before I came to the temple and all... You know how that goes with them. Us. Sometimes they act like the Overseer himself will appear out of nowhere and punish us for eating one. [Chuckles] If that were the case, I'd be nibbling on them all the time, just for the spectacle.
Then this one time I drew a picture of a clam and I showed it to Jessie and he said it was nice.
...[Overlooking the last sentence] You seem to be a little bit confused about your relationship to the Order. Would you care to tell us a little about that?
I'm not confused. I'm one of these guys, and the old man raised us all under the same teachings. It's just... I think if I ever met the Overseer myself, I'd have a lot to ask him. I'm here for the same reason anyone else would come to a temple... to get closer to their God.
That's very interesting. Is this why you've chosen to follow the path of spiritualism under the priestesses?
It seemed like the most direct path to Clamface himself! Haha.
Could you see yourself as a Priest of the Benevolent Order?
... [Serious look, before cracking his neck] Who knows? I mean, it's not like I don't believe. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here wasting my time. It's not my goal, if that's what you're asking. More than anything I just want to get personal with Clamface.
Haha, well, you might have had better luck with that if you were a woman. We know how the Overseer loves his sponge baths...
And now, you know the drill, it's time for questions from users! Nii Amikasame is first up with "The double rainbow... what does it mean? Enlighten me, oh awkward one!"
I don't think anyone knows yet. It's so intense...
Maborofel wants to know "Why don't you like fish people?"
...
[The world begins to tremble and waver. The Interviewer and Imaru become hazy images, and gradually fade away to nothing.]
OMF-
Hai, Imaru! Do you wanna play a game?~ o3o
Not with YOU!
Let's play 'Throw Rocks at the Human~' o3o
Let's not... D8 AGHHHHHHHHH MY PERINEUM!!!
[Everything begins to wiggle again as the flashback ends. The Interviewer appears to be hyperventilating as she reappears. Imaru stares benignly into space.]
Oh... my god... oh... my god... NEVER... DO THAT... AGAIN.
[Apparently unaware that anything strange has just happened] It's not so much that I don't like them. Or that I'm terrified of them either. It's not like I ever had a bad experience with one or two growing up as a child or anything. Nope, they never made me suffer a traumatic childhood experience of the sort... [Trails off into a mutter, still staring off into space]
...Nngh. This interview is giving me issues. "Why is Bapp so fun to annoy and what are the best ways to annoy him?"
He thinks it's annoying? I thought we were just pal-ing around!
"What would you say if I told you I had a plan to rid the world of evil that would likely (accidentally) wipe Barton off the face of the earth?"
I'd ask how long in advance we'd have to re-arrange who's in that town and who's not, and what manner of wiping would occur. Purely out of sheer curiousity, of course.
Feline Godess wantsta know "What exactly do you have against rasins?"
They're gross, and they ruin perfectly good cookies. :c
"Do you surf?"
Yes, but not that well. Just swimming around and rolling around on a boogie board is fine for me.
"When did you start to draw?"
I don't remember. Though, I didn't take drawing so seriously until I was about maybe 13?
"Favorite thing to draw?"
People, simply being people. And Jessie. And strange monster things. Once, I drew out this huge monster with big teeth. I mean, HUGE teeth. Like, proportionally, those teeth were probably so heavy, his face would just fall forward and his little legs wouldn't be able to hold him up for very long. It must suck to be that monster.
"and the obligatory.... What color is your underwear?"
[Unbelts and unzips, taking a peek] Today the boxers are periwinkle blue-ish. The waist band is black, though. [Wiggles his butt in his seat while closing up his pants]
...Could you warn me next time you plan on doing that, please, so I can get my barf bag ready?
It's just boxers. I thought people run around in boxers all the time? They're bigger than some people's swim trunks.
[Full on drops his pants] See? No big. Now it's like we're chillin' at home, watching TV.
...[Eye twitches] Thank goodness, we have some questions from a new person... Team Rocket Girl.
"If you could have any pet in the world, what would it be?"
Holy crap, a Yian Kut Ku. Or a Pokemon, like Raichu or Charizard. You could totally fly on a Charizard. But it's not like Charizard could ride on your shoulder, so maybe Raichu. Nah, but Kut Ku is pretty boss, if you know what I mean. Imagine a giant lizard chicken breathing fire, stomping all over your yard! Nobody would dare break into your house or cause trouble to you. [Rambles on about fictional video game monsters]
"Do you like sports?"
...I... I've been in the closet about my love for football games for eight years now. T____T I'M SO SORRY THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY
As far as playing sports? Don't ever hand me a kickball.
"What kind of pie is your favorite?"
Chocolate haupia pie. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmhellyessssssss.
"What is your opinion on cats?"
I'm more of a dog person, but if I get to know a cat, I tend to like them a lot. Except that one bossy one. I tried to be its friend but it's just like that old lady who's mean for no reason. You know, no sad backstory about being alone, or being afraid of getting close to anyone. Just mean for no reason. You bake her a pie and she spits it in your face for the laughs. And it was good chocolate haupia pie too! What a waste.
At least not all people with white hair are mean old women. In fact, sometimes white hair can look so soft and inviting... nice to stroke... way better than a kitty cat... even the nicest kitty cat... stroke... nice to stroke... [Mumbles]
"Are you single?"
Yeah. [Blushes, looking lost in thought]
Ohohoho, is that a blush I see there? Tell us more?
Blush? [Rubs his cheeks] :<
I recently fell out of a long term relationship of eight years. Love isn't really my scene right now. I'm over my ex, but not ready to get back into that just yet. No... [Cheeks redden harder]
You totally love making me feel bad for pressing for details, dontcha? "Do you have a hobby?"
Besides drawing and video games? Dicking around in the ocean, taking naps, eating, singing, collecting street reflectors. I'm kind of dull, to be honest.
Speaking of "dicking around in the ocean," how did you enjoy your swim with Zain? You didn't seem to have a problem with mermen when he was licking your ear. ...He's kinda cute, isn't he? ;o
Ah that... I'll let you in on a secret I don't even let myself know, half the time. If something is terrifying me beyond belief, my coping mechanism is to become 'blissfully unaware' of my surroundings. This only kicks in after a good episode of fear, though.
"What's your favorite color?"
This is the weird thing about me. I like color pairs, not just one color alone. It also changes by mood. For a while I liked deep fuchsia and black, but then I was into bright blue and white. Think Wii-themed blue, plus sterile white. I also like browns and olives together. I tend to go for more cooler shades of colors than warm. I stay away from hot reds and oranges.
Ahhh, the question I was hoping would turn up, because frankly it's rather baffling. "How come you like Jessie? (Not that he's bad or anything, he's cool lol)"
I don't think I know how to properly answer this question. He is pretty cool though, huh? The way he is though, makes me feel comfortable. Like he reminds me of something, or someone.
Do you wanna see a picture I drew of him? I keep it in my wallet. [Proudly] He said it was super pretty.
Sure, why not! Let's see it!
...Oh wow, that's... super pretty... o______O
(I thought this dude was meant to be an artist?! This looks like a two year old drew it!! Or at least, a bad emulation of something a two year old might draw done in MS Paint...)
Don't lie, man. It's not pretty.
It's EXTRA COOL. TOTALLY GAR.
...Then why does the little arrow say "pretty?"
It's cool and GAR but Jessie himself is pretty. The "pretty" label refers to his perpetual state of pretty.
Okay, I give up. What does GAR mean?
It means you're just too damn manly.
[Looks at the picture]
[Looks at Imaru]
..."Manly." "Manly?"
SERIOUSLY?
I only hope to be that manly myself one day. Then I can use my manliness to land myself some Sushi dates. Be all like... [Hand on interviewer's shoulder] I just noticed your eyes. Mine look that lost in thought too sometimes. Especially when I'm hungry. Want to grab lunch with me? My treat. [ADORABLE BOYISH SMILE]
And she'd be all like-
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. [Grabs him by his stupid shoulders and gives him a small shake of frustration] As manly as the DRAWING, or as manly as JESSIE?
See, even you think Jessie is manly.
BUT DO YOU MEAN AS MANLY AS THE DRAWING OR AS MANLY AS HE IS
OUT WITH IT
...Which would make you happier? Kinda worried about your health. [Pets Interviewer]
JUST TELL ME
As Jessie, I suppose. He could kick more a** than the drawing. [Makes generic fighting noises]
[Breathing heavily] THANK you. For a moment I thought you were suggesting that the drawing was manly.
It's not? 8(
...Nevermind. "Do you like pasta? Chicken? Pasta and chicken?"
I love pastas. I tend to go for vinegar or wine sauces rather than heavy tomato sauces. Penne is my favorite type of pasta. I love vodka rustica, chicken tequila fettuccine, that sort of thing. I think I overdid alfredo white sauces though. OH AND RAVIOLLI AND TORTELLINA FOREVER. As far as chicken goes, I love chicken too. My favorites are chicken adobo, shoyu chicken and chicken katsu. Dude, chicken katsu curry cheese on rice with side cream corn croquette and gyoza is godly. Eating at Curry House is as good as sex, I swear.
"When was the last time you had KFC?"
Been a while. I wasn't even able to try the Double Down yet. Bummed about that...
"What's your favorite food? (Can you tell I'm hungry when I type these?)"
Girl, I'm ALWAYS hungry. Ah, but favorite? It depends on my mood! I can eat korean barbeque for the rest of my life though.
"What's your favorite type of computer?"
I prefer PC's, they tend to be more reliable than a laptop, and are easier to repair and replace parts when they need maintinence. Also, you can upgrade your PC a LOT easier than you can a laptop. As far as brand goes, I don't have a particular favorite, but I guess I'm partial to Sony's Vaio line. Toshiba isn't too bad either.
"What kinds of music do you like?"
I'm rather eclectic, but have a softspot for earlier punk music, shoegazing, screamo/post hardcore, trance, delved into dubstep a bit... That got very repeatitive way too quickly. Oh and I like older J-pop and K-pop, like globe and glay, G.O.D. and S.E.S.
"What kind of cheese do you like?"
Depends on what I'm eating! If there was a platter of cheese before me though, I'd choose in this order: Sharp Cheddar, Havarti, Muenster, Pepper Jack.
The better question is, what kind of cheese does Jessie like? Hmmmmmm...
"Do you have peanuts?"
[Hand on crotch] ...Maaaaybe?
[Looks lost and a bit concerned]
Ahhh, always a classy note to end the day. So Imaru, before we finish up, do you have anything else you'd like to say to everyone?
Hi and sorry I haven't been around? It's not so much I haven't, really. I just kinda ghost around, but I'll make my presence more known. I'm hungry.
Thank you and goodbye... and never come back. Please.
See you all next time. I need to lie down and rest my aching brain...
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This interview concluded on August 30th 2010
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This interview concluded on August 30th 2010
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