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 Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 12:58 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:01 am
*reports of various people vanishing from the Nexus begin to drift in, no main citizens however*
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Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 11:35 am
::the Kapow Action News theme kicks in:Good evening, thanks for joining us. This is Lois Lane reporting for Kapow Action News. Today's top story is the mysterious events swirling around Sionis Cosmetics Incorporated. Over the last 24 hours, several missing person reports of have been coming into the newsroom. All of these reports seem to involve workers or interns at Sionis Cosmetics. Most disturbing is this this voicemail message I received yesterday from someone close to the case. Perhaps if I had my phone turned on, this may have turned out differently. These audio recordings could be disturbing to some users. If you're sensitive, please mute the volume for a moment. ::an audio recording plays. Screams and the sounds of struggle can be heard in the background: Ms. Lane.....something's....OH GOD... SAVE....... NO NO.. PLEASE... Lois..... laptop....::disturbing noises are heard as the recording cuts off:: A most disturbing scene appears to have played out at Sionis cosmetics. Last night, I had the pleasure of interviewing one of the faces of Sionis Cosmetics, Ms. Sarya of Vengar, otherwise known as the Emerald Empress. The very same individual who has tried to take over the Nexus in the past. ::another audio tape plays, while the screen shows stock footage of the empress:: So..
I find this change in profession very "unusual". Can you tell me why you decided to work in the cosmetics field?Quote: Eye must admit, it was a shift for myself, as well. I have, in my life, done many things. By trade, actually, Eye was an archaeologist.
Oh, Eye admit that when Eye first came to the Nexus, I merely saw it as a place to be conquered...enslaved, even. Eye make no qualms about the truth. But Roman Sionis taught me that there was a different way to, if you will, 'conquer' the Nexus, and that was to provide a service...a product, that people would enjoy and come to rely on.
Roman's past entrepreneurial experience was in the cosmetics field, and it was he who opened my Is to what an interesting and profitable experience it would be.
If you're truly wanting to turn over a new leaf, it might make some people a little wary that you chose someone like Sionis to ally yourself with. He doesn't have a very good reputation, you see. What would you say to those people?Quote: Eye say that the majority of the claims levied against him are either speculation or patently false.
What would you say to those who are concerned about your products? Some have even speculated that the products are harmful or could control the user somehow. How would you lay their fears to rest?Quote: Eye can only point you to this very event, Ms. Lane. Why, right over there, a mere three clicks from where we sit, is a complete set of the Sionis for Halloween line, free for the taking. Several people have already taken samples, some for personal use and some I presume for testing. Eye will let the results speak for themselves.
The newsroom has been getting several calls today about missing family members who were called in to work today at Sionis. Would you happen to know anything about that? It's a very sad story indeed.Quote: The demand to get Sionis for Halloween product out in time for the holiday has called for some overtime - paid double time, of course. Quote: ::The Empress turns to the I, as if they're communicating::
Ah. They are volunteering for a mentorship program, it appears.
Mentorship program?[quote ] It is part of a continuing education program Mister Sionis has set up for the younger members of the Sionis family. It teaches them valuable lessons about the world of business.Oh, that reminds me. What's the story on that little girl with the spiders that's associated with your company? Six years old is much too young to be employed.Quote: Ah, the young girl. She is not employed by the company. A small child working for Sionis! Ha hahaha!
She is privately associated with Mister Sionis only. A different sort of 'mentorship,' if you will. Quote: Oh no, Eye believe he is just interested in the girl's well-being and education. A humanitarian effort.
Other than that Eye cannot comment on it, it is outside of the scope of the business.
is there anything else you'd to tell all the people out there?Quote: Eye do hope that everyone is willing to give Sionis a chance. Eye believe they will be truly pleased with the quality of our product and service. ::the recording stops and the screen once again shows Lois, sitting behind a news desk:: A very strange story indeed. Just who is this young girl who has allied herself with Sionis and why? What happened to the missing people at Sionis? We here at Kapow Action News will continue to work to get to the bottom of these questions plus many more. Until next time, this is Lois Lane for Kapow Action News
::theme song plays and the screen fades to black::
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Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 4:30 pm
*appears on screen with angry Clarice* He said he didn't want anymore help!Hello, guys. *a picture of Hartley appears*  Look at your man, now back to Hartley, now back at your man, now back to Hartley. Sadly, he isn’t Hartley, but if you dumped your non-musical muscle man for this skinny musician you COULD be with Hartley! Why don't you stop!?Look down, back up, where are you? Who knows cause Hartley's noggin fills that whole picture! Seriously, why did I use that? *buries face in her palm*What's that on his shoulder, BACK AT HARTLEY! scream It's Hartley's rat with two slobber covered tickets to that thing you wanna see....kinda gross now. Look again, the tickets are now Hartley's green man-thongs. Yea, buddy, that's how he rolls. *gonks*Anything is possible when your man is Hartley Rathaway and not a lady or a different man. HE LOVES RATS! I am so, so sorry, Piper.
*starts hitting Chris*
What is wrong with you!?What I do? gonk
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Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:51 pm
A heavy bass beat is heard as the lights come up. Clarice is leaning over a stereo.Chris? I don't think this is the right way to go for music.Lyrics start to accompany the heavy bass beat. Three words over and over again....SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MANChris Powell, head of The Christopher Powell Foundation For Getting You Some Action appears from offstage...in a smoking jacket with a glass of port.LADIES, LADIES, LADIES! What are you wearing?My uniform! Anyway...ladies...you're alone. It sucks. I know it does. But do I have the man for you! He's spectacular, he's amazing, he's SPIDER-MAN!!!! WHAT? That's our stock footage? No matter...Peter Parker is the man for you, ladies. He has a steady job...most of the time. He's good to his aunt so you know he'll treat you right! Are you model? HE'S GOT A CAMERA!!! He can even use in the bedroom! CHRISTOPHER! scream Er...anyway...he's responsible. He coined some phrase about powers and responsibility, I guess. I heard it's inspirational. So call us, text us, email us....JUST CONTACT US TO DATE SPIDEY! SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
SPECTACULAR, SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MANOh and the webs...think about the sexy time fun! WHY ARE YOU WARPED!?
*starts whacking Chris in the ear*OW!! What I do? gonk The screen fades to black.
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:54 pm
the Kapow Action News Theme kicks in. A "SPECIAL REPORT" graphic flashes across the screen followed by the smiling face of Lois Lane sitting behind a news deskTonight, a special report. a producer flails in the backgroundMs. Lane, what are you DOING??Lately, a scourge has infected this channel. A scourge by the name of CHRIS POWELL! the screen shows a picture of a very drunk Chris Powell, a waste basket on his head and beer spilled down the front of his shirt from an empty can he's holding in one hand as he grins goofily at the cameraMr Powell fancies himself a businessman and has started a dating service: "The Christopher Powell Foundation For Getting You Some Action". He boasts such clients as the Pied Piper and Spiderman and he's trying to expand his business. He also seems to have involved his long suffering girlfriend, Ms. Clarice Ferguson. So why am I doing this, you might ask? TO PROTECT THE PUBLIC! These "commercials" have been running on this station, to the dismay of myself and others. Let me ask, is THIS the type of programming that's appropriate on our airwaves? This is supposed to be a family network! a video clip plays of a previous Chris Powell commercialQuote: That's right, gents! It's Hartley Rathaway, the Pied Piper, and he'll compose his way right into your hearts...and your pants! Quote: Hartley likes his deserts so you better bring your strudel! A large portion of hot strudel! A hot strudel injection if you will! Quote: Clarice will blink your nads into space. Oh and there's MORE! Quote: Look again, the tickets are now Hartley's green man-thongs. Yea, buddy, that's how he rolls. Quote: HE'S GOT A CAMERA!!! He can even use in the bedroom! Quote: Oh and the webs...think about the sexy time fun! Are these statements what you want to see on primetime network television? I think not! It's highly inappropriate and full of sexual innuendos. We've also been getting reports in that The Christopher Powell Foundation For Getting You Some Action isn't fulfilling it's end of it's contracts. Rumors are swirling that their customers are not only "not getting action" but are getting humiliated in the process which causes their dating lives to further deteriorate! MRS LANE! THEY'RE A SPONSOR. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!Kapow news intends to investigate this situation fully. We will keep you posted as new information comes in. Tune to the Kapow Entertainment Network (WKEN) or watch our regular news broadcasts to keep up with the latest. Until next time, this is Lois Lane for Kapow Action news, signing off. Remember, if it's news to you, it's news to us. the Kapow Action News theme kicks in and the screen fades to black
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:43 pm
::Clarice walks up to the studio building to wait for Piper::
This should be fun!
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:52 pm
::Clatters up in the lighting grid above the news reporting set::
STOP PLAYING THOSE CLIPS!!!!!!
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:01 pm
::Clarice sees the newscast::
lawl.. strudel injection
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:05 pm
::jumps down onto a camera, switching it on, showing Clarice standing there laughing::
BLINK! AT LAST, YOU'VE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP!
::starts playing a tune on his pipes::
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:08 pm
::Clarice stands there, as if in a trance::
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:14 pm
Ha ha ha ha! My special staying-in-one-place tune has robbed you of your ability to teleport! And now, Clarinet Ferguson....
THE BELLY RING....OF DOOM!
::kicks a switch off to the side, and the floor opens up, a gigantic belly-ring shaped deathtrap rising up. Piper pushes Clarice into an opening in the giant, circular tube and slams it shut, leaning against the door::
And now, for your greatest Acapella achievement, my dear! I call it....DEATH...IN A MINOR!
::The sound of orchestral strumming kicks up...but underneath the rhythm of the percussion is the sound of saws...which are plunging towards Clarice, coming around the bend in the giant belly ring!::
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:16 pm
gonk
What is this!??
::Clarice leaps up and flips, trying to get over the first saw::
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:22 pm
::The saws skid off to the side and miss Clarice's path, but from the view of the cameras, it looks like Clarice jumped over them.::
That's right! Jump! Jump for the Pied Piper!
::pulls out a conducing baton as if he's running an orchestra. The tone of the music changes, and it suddenly gets a lot warmer inside as Clarice enters the next chamber of the ring's interior. Suddenly, barrels of flamethrowers launch out of the walls, and start firing flames!::
This movement is called "FIRE FUGUE!"
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:24 pm
*crashes through a door*
CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARICE!!! gonk
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