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 Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 10:17 am
Make an rp sample and post it here, first.
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 8:08 am
hiro fights off hollows for the death of his sister.killing any hollow that gets in his way.to find the one who killed is sister.as he gets closer.he is sentenced to death for not listning to the captains word.but he does not care he stills runs on till this day.
he arrives the building.with dozen of gaurds.and master ryu inside.he slices all the guards.leading him inside. he dodges booby trapes has walk through hallways.at he end is ryu.
he fights off ryu but he is to strong.hiro fights till the death of ryu.ryu gets mad and releases a signature move.hiro tries to move out the wa but gets stabbed stomach. minutes later.ryu is suprised he still is alive.knowing how fast he heals.hiro goes bankai.giving all is power.and as they clash together with a big shine of light it seems hiro is dead.but ryu knife stabed ryu straight through the heart and head.leaving only his is sword alive
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 7:31 am
I think... my eyes are bleeding...
That was ridiculously bad. Seriously, how did you even get in the guild? I'm pretty sure we have standards on literacy, so I can't accept you until you learn how to write at least semi-decently.
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:26 am
wow at least show some support instead of acting like a dang douche about it.this is the only role playing guild ive been in.
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 3:31 pm
I think the real question I wanted to ask was: is your first language English?
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 3:35 pm
english im learning japanese and other laguanges.i know i spelled that way wrong.thats it.but english yesh.but i wasnt talking to u about the thing on top to the other guy
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 3:47 pm
It's really a grammar issue here.
The best thing for you to do right now is to go and find one of those educational forums we have, or one of the thousands in the general forums, and get some pointers on your sentence structure and punctuation.
I wouldn't see an extreme problem with this other than the fact you seem to be a big fan of not using your 'shift' key when necessary and the lack of spaces in certain places.
Regarding our captain, I absolutely cannot make remarks on his behalf.
He is the way he is and we love him for that.
He may be extremely harsh with his criticism, but the points he makes are always valid with what he's conveying.
The abrasiveness is just part of who he is.
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:18 pm
I make remarks on my own behalf, though, and I'll admit, I was rather harsh. However, needless to say, I've been at this for a long time, and I know what's good and what isn't. It isn't my intention to discourage you, but rather, to create an urgency toward improvement.
Yes, I'm a douche sometimes, but I am to help you and others in the long run.
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:56 am
Kasumioji Sejiro Applying
The moon flooded the valley with light almost as if it was daytime. Sejiro grasped his sword, pointing the tip towards his opponent in front of him. Both men stood face to face for a good minute before either made a move. Sejiro charged head on at his opponent, swiping his sword from left to right at neck level. His opponent parried the attack leaving Sejiro's right side vulnerable to an attack. Before Sejiro knew it his opponent had used a round house kick with his left leg to strike Sejiro near his ribs. The force from the blow shot Sejiro flying ten feet. In pain and struggling to get up, Sejiro used a tree that was close to him for support. His opponent rushed at him with his sword in a thrusting position. Remembering his shunpo training Sejiro focused all his energy into his next attack. When his opponents blade was two inches from his chest Sejiro used his shunpo to get behind his opponent. As soon as Sejiro was behind his opponent he sliced at a downward left angle, separating his opponents sword arm from his body.
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:24 pm
...The hell are you posting it in two places for? That's what this thread is for! D:<
...
Ah, decent. It's not at all bad, but you could definitely put a bit more flow into the writing. It just... lacks artistry, really. There isn't anything fundamentally wrong, but it's not written with what I would say is a 'style'. If it were me, I wouldn't have been so exact with the distances, and would have used some metaphor to emphasize the impending danger. Likewise, there could have been a little more visual detail, both of background and the characters, and symbolism is always good to depict that. Try using some linking words to combine a few of the sentences.
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:05 pm
Try again or was I accepted?
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:57 am
You're definitely in the Squad. I'm just a little conflicted about where to seat you...
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:01 am
hey fifner if made another charecter would still be able to join?
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:02 am
That depends. How many characters does that make for you, and are you sure you can split your attention between two characters and still make them equally developed?
Also, spell my name right! >.<''
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:05 am
Of course I can keep up. I'm your old student. I think I can handle it. Sorry I always get names missed up, crying
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