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 Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 10:38 am
Once you tell someone something it feels like a great weight has been lifted from your chest. My Dad asked me if I was bi and I lied and said no. Now I feel a mounting pressure to tell someone in my life . . . I'm just waiting for the right moment. Things are different but they eventually sort themselves out. Being ashamed of who you are never did anybody any good. Including me.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 2:54 pm
just talk to your dad and tell him that you were scared and tell him the truth. It can't be to much worse then what happened to me, my dad asked me if I was a lesbian and I told him I was bi and he's stopped talking to me, I haven't talked to him in over a year and he lives in a different state now... I should probably try to talk to him...I don't think he was pissed I just think it kinda shocked him...
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 12:07 am
We gotta wait for the BEST time, if there ever is one, to come out- don't get so absorbed in telling your family, because, chances are, they won't react very happily... I told some of my best friends, and that's enough for me
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 1:04 pm
Yeah . . . I don't think I'll ever be asble to tell my family but-like I said-there's one woman that's always been there for me and I respect her like a mother. She will be told when I can have a moment alone with her. The woman is my L.A. teacher from grade 9 and I'm in high school now so I don't see her as much.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 1:15 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 2:59 pm
ok well I have two questions:
1. is it ok be kinda scared of expermimenting at first?
2. how do you tell your parents? I mean I cant even tell them the simple stuff (ex: I failed my geo exam witha 49 ^^; just wait until the report card lol)
ok maybe three lol
3. how do you open to your friends in an evironment that makes it almost impossible?
sorry if this is a reapet XD; I'm posting this as running out to catch a movie lol
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 3:35 pm
doesnt it seem that people are scared to come out?
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 3:41 pm
No we try really hard to help them with comming out ... tons of great advice in this thread... Your siggy looks broken. I fixed it for ya wink [url=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/guilds/index.php?page_mode=4&guild_id=1503][IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v188/Jyaki/gbcg3.jpg[/IMG]
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:09 pm
Well, one day...in 7th grade to be exact...my step-mom accused me of being a lesbian because I had never dated anyone before...my dad flipped out and said he would kick me out of the house because that was wrong. At the time, I denied it, as I was not a lesbian. But, you know how funny things can turn out...4 1/2 years later, I discover I am bi. Go figure... So yes, I kind of wish I could tell my parents, as I don't really care what my step-mom thinks, but I really love my dad and I'm afraid of disappointing him...plus, the girl I'm dating, is not out to her family yet either, and if my parents found out, they would tell her mom too. Unfortunately, I am very sure that that would turn out worse for her because I'm graduating this year, and she's not. She has no other place to go, so I have to keep up this cover for another year and a half, and I'm worried that I might not be able to do it...and I really don' t wanna hurt her...*sigh*
Also, she is the first person I've ever dated, and a lot of her friends that I know are better than me are in love with her, and all of our friends want her to dump me and go out with this other guy. She said she wouldn't do that to me, but I'm still scared. I'm worried that maybe, a guy would be better for her, and that I'm just in the way... *sighs again* Is it normal to be paranoid about these things...? sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:21 pm
ToeboysGurl ok well I have two questions: 1. is it ok be kinda scared of expermimenting at first? 2. how do you tell your parents? I mean I cant even tell them the simple stuff (ex: I failed my geo exam witha 49 ^^; just wait until the report card lol) ok maybe three lol 3. how do you open to your friends in an evironment that makes it almost impossible? sorry if this is a reapet XD; I'm posting this as running out to catch a movie lol Well... 1) Experimenting was very scary for me, but it all turned out alright. I've been dating the same girl for almost 6 months now, and sometimes, I'm still scared... so yes, its okay! I understand where you are coming from! ^ ^ 2) How do you tell your parents?! I have no idea...I'm still struggling with that one...I explain in the post above... (I'm sorry! crying ) 3) The school I go to is very unaccepting of these kind of relationships and I was lucky enough to find a whole group of friends that happened to be bi, gay, lesbian, etc... so we all kind of grouped together, so we kind of survive the criticism together... but my best friend who goes to the art school I used to go to, doesn't know, and is also very unaccepting...someday I will tell her. I think its just a matter of courage and when its the right moment. Of course, there is always the risk that they will turn you away, but sometimes you can't just stay on the edge of the cliff. Sooner or later, you have to jump, and its all in the moment that you either fly or fall...but who says there is no getting back up if you do hit the ground? Depending on your situation, your friends might be more accepting than your family at first, at least, thats what its like in my case... GOOD LUCK!!!
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 7:30 am
sad i wish i was better off. nobody is gay, and most people are kindof homophobic sad
Only 3 people know, which is 3 people more than i didnt want to know.
But they're ok with it. Except i kinof fancy one of them :S
Any advice neutral
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 7:44 am
crimson_brimstone Also, she is the first person I've ever dated, and a lot of her friends that I know are better than me are in love with her, and all of our friends want her to dump me and go out with this other guy. She said she wouldn't do that to me, but I'm still scared. I'm worried that maybe, a guy would be better for her, and that I'm just in the way... *sighs again* Is it normal to be paranoid about these things...? sweatdrop Of course it's normal to be paranoid. Everybody's parents have different things that set them off. Like yours is homosexuals, while my Mom's is telling her she is wrong .... she goes MAD crazy. xp ::cough:: Anyways all her friends are ******** homophobes. I can bet my life they are all straight, they just want to be able to figure her out ... be with a guy, because in their hetero clique that's what makes sense. I'm not too sure that anyone can say that he would be better. He would just be more socially excepted, and their relationship wouldn't be held under such scrutiny. Better or not, I can honestly say from personal experiance ... That this relationship won't last. Factors that kill it: Both of you are closet cases.
You're graduating and going off to college ... I hope, and she'll remain in highschool.
Her friends are already plotting the relationship's demise.
You already have your doubts.
Despite what the songs say love doesn't conquer all.
Though if it does last ... I'll send you a gigantic present! xd
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:55 pm
crimson_brimstone ToeboysGurl ok well I have two questions: 1. is it ok be kinda scared of expermimenting at first? 2. how do you tell your parents? I mean I cant even tell them the simple stuff (ex: I failed my geo exam witha 49 ^^; just wait until the report card lol) ok maybe three lol 3. how do you open to your friends in an evironment that makes it almost impossible? sorry if this is a reapet XD; I'm posting this as running out to catch a movie lol Well... 1) Experimenting was very scary for me, but it all turned out alright. I've been dating the same girl for almost 6 months now, and sometimes, I'm still scared... so yes, its okay! I understand where you are coming from! ^ ^ 2) How do you tell your parents?! I have no idea...I'm still struggling with that one...I explain in the post above... (I'm sorry! crying ) 3) The school I go to is very unaccepting of these kind of relationships and I was lucky enough to find a whole group of friends that happened to be bi, gay, lesbian, etc... so we all kind of grouped together, so we kind of survive the criticism together... but my best friend who goes to the art school I used to go to, doesn't know, and is also very unaccepting...someday I will tell her. I think its just a matter of courage and when its the right moment. Of course, there is always the risk that they will turn you away, but sometimes you can't just stay on the edge of the cliff. Sooner or later, you have to jump, and its all in the moment that you either fly or fall...but who says there is no getting back up if you do hit the ground? Depending on your situation, your friends might be more accepting than your family at first, at least, thats what its like in my case... GOOD LUCK!!! Thanx, ya I've already opened up to most of my friends I was just asking for a friend who doesnt know taht I did lol but still u.u some of my friends did kind of back off and it sucks *shrugs* but hey you never know... but thanx for the advice ^^ *hugs*
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 2:18 pm
sad i wish i was better off. nobody is gay, and most people are kindof homophobic sad
Only 3 people know, which is 3 people more than i didnt want to know.
But they're ok with it. Except i kinof fancy one of them :S
Any advice neutral
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 5:13 pm
Okay heres another question. How do I explaine to my family, who is mostly homophobic, that I am Bi and that one of my best friends, who they've met and really like, is my lover? They really like her and think she's great but I know if they found out about our relationship they would freak out and try to end our relationship, so what do I do? My really close friends know and they're cool with it, but it's my family that worries me...
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