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 Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 4:21 pm
Theophrastus Granted. Sadly, all humans are strangely and irreversibly stricken with blindness. I wish Tim and Eric were super rich and let me and my girlfriend live on their million dollar estate. Granted! But in return you have to clean the million dollar estate house... which is pretty ******** big. Also, you don't get paid, since that work goes towards allowing you to live there. And to top it off, they don't give you a guest's room, instead, they make you sleep on the storage shed. A fancy storage shed, but with only two cots. I wish to have ZERO air resistance when i take my motorcycle for a ride and i have my cool leather coat unzipped. So that i may look like a matrix dude with his leather coat flapping in the air while he's doing 200 mph in the highway. AWESOME! *high fives himself*
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Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:38 pm
AnonymouZ Theophrastus Granted. Sadly, all humans are strangely and irreversibly stricken with blindness. I wish Tim and Eric were super rich and let me and my girlfriend live on their million dollar estate. Granted! But in return you have to clean the million dollar estate house... which is pretty ******** big. Also, you don't get paid, since that work goes towards allowing you to live there. And to top it off, they don't give you a guest's room, instead, they make you sleep on the storage shed. A fancy storage shed, but with only two cots. I wish to have ZERO air resistance when i take my motorcycle for a ride and i have my cool leather coat unzipped. So that i may look like a matrix dude with his leather coat flapping in the air while he's doing 200 mph in the highway. AWESOME! *high fives himself* Granted. Without air resistance, you fly forward off the bike whenever you stop, and you keep going for a couple hundred yards. I wish I didn't have to BS this report for my statistics class.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 6:37 am
Granted. But your report is so full of horsesh1t that you fail.
And your fancy plastic binder thing smells.
I wish I knew the root of two.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:03 pm
Granted. But such impossible knowledge causes the entire universe, and all parallel universes to collapse into themselves, thus reducing all matter in any universes to the smallest size allowed by the laws of physics. But hey, you learned something!
I wish someone would make me a sandwich.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 9:28 pm
Granted. Too bad you're now a tuna fish sandwich and a cat eats you.
I wish I had a Nintendo Wii. (Materialism FTW!)
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 7:08 am
Granted... but Sony decides to take offense to your purchasing a Wii, and comes to your house to beat you up. Then Microsoft says, 'Hey! We want a piece too!' and they come by and break your kneecaps.
But you have a Wii.
I wish I had a pen to write with...
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:38 pm
Granted. The pen malfunctions after you write "with". Also, that's the only word that the pen is allowed to write, otherwise, it explodes in your hand and takes away your fingers.
I wish i could ride my motorcycle in cold weather, with no repercussions. I.e. feeling cold or getting frostbite.
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:32 pm
AnonymouZ Granted. The pen malfunctions after you write "with". Also, that's the only word that the pen is allowed to write, otherwise, it explodes in your hand and takes away your fingers. I wish i could ride my motorcycle in cold weather, with no repercussions. I.e. feeling cold or getting frostbite. Granted. Your motorcycle, however, is now 99% more likely to spin out on a slick of ice. I wish someone finds the gospel that says God doesn't care whether human beings believe in him or not.
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 6:45 am
Granted. But that doesn't change the gospel where it says that he does. So people still believe what they want. (Ain't people a b***h?)
I wish every human being would love themselves to the near point of being narcissistic, cuz I'm getting tired of dumbshit teenagers and regular internet people that don't think they got what it takes for someone to "love" them. Dumbasses. They need only love themselves in order for that to happen. *keeps ranting as he clicks the submit button*
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 3:30 pm
Granted but much as in the myth, everyone falls in love with their reflections and does not move until they starve to death.
I wish for chocolate cake.
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Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:49 pm
Lunar Falcon Granted but much as in the myth, everyone falls in love with their reflections and does not move until they starve to death. I wish for chocolate cake. your chocolate cake has been laced with Large amounts of LSD you spend the next 12 hours in a corner because the chairs are trying to kill you. i wish i was good at math.
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:34 pm
Granted. You are now so good at math, you logic away your own existence by the sheer odds that those exact molecules would come to gether and make one mere cell, as opposed to the entire you.
I wish I was going home...
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Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 4:59 pm
Granted, but now your house is full of cannibals sweatdrop
I wish the person who sits next to me in Biology would stop getting up and running around in circles screaming about how his blood is going to boil every time I say bless you after he sneezes stare (It gets annoying after awhile <_< And it's kinda mean sweatdrop I mean, his blood hasn't boiled yet, right? ...Let his blood boil because I'm being polite stare )
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 7:11 am
Granted.
His head explodes.
All over you.
I wish the guy who writes Order of the Stick would draw the comics faster...
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 6:23 pm
Granted, but it's all now written in Mandarin Chinese.
I wish I could get tickets to a Modest Mouse concert.
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