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 Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 12:57 am
"...it's not that I want to think that way....i can't help it....after what happened before I can't really think any other way...especially when there is a chance emotions are going to get involved...y-you asked me something when we were playing before...about love....there is a reason I don't believe in it you know....there was a time i did....it seems like it was a really long time ago....there was a girl i met....her name was Jenna....and I thought I loved her...no...in fact...I did love her....she was my whole world.....she did some really terrible things to me.....because of her I can't let myself love anymore....what she did couldn't have been worse if she'd just killed me....sometimes I wish she had...better me than-....." jacob shook his head a bit, ".....anyway...that is where my distaste for relationships comes from...and why I push away from the slightest bit of affection....I can have pointless meaningless loveless sex...because that is all I know how to have without leaving myself open to being hurt like that again.....so I'm sorry if what I said hurt you...I just don't want to be yanked around like that again....and you send me such mixed signals....I'm not the kind of guy to settle down and have a relationship...I might not ever be again....you should know that about me okay.....i just need you to understand that...."
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 1:20 am
Liv's expression went through a range of things as he told her some of his past, her face showing sadness for his heartbreak, anger that someone would hurt him, to confusion at his cut off sentence.
"Sweetheart....whatever she did to you...I know that it was terrible, without you even having to give me details...just from how much this has affected you, I know. Regardless....you can't...you can't make everyone else pay for her ********. You can't make yourself pay for it....you shouldn't sacrifice your own chances at true happiness, because of her. Don't give her the satisfaction of still holding this power over you..."
She knew he didn't want affection, but in the moment she found that she didn't care. She wanted more than anything for him to feel safe, and cared for. Putting her arms around him, she squeezed him tightly, willing him to feel her true love and warmth.
She continued quietly at that point, her voice barely above a whisper, "I didn't mean to send mixed signals to you....I didn't mean to hurt you....deep down...I know that you're not that type of guy....I know the reason now, but...I still knew before that you aren't that person....so...that's mostly why I have been giving you mixed signals in the first place....how can I continue to work at something...that I know in my heart, for whatever reason, I will never be able to obtain..?" she shook her head, smiling sadly as she pulled back from him.
"Don't ever change this part of you...this part that I see right now, Jacob...please don't ever let it go," she laid her palm against his chest lightly, above where his heart would be.
She looked down at her own hand, and felt the light beating of his heart beneath her. His skin was warm against hers, and though she was still barely clothed, not a piece of her had grown cold yet. Even her cheeks were lit with a small, warm glow, the faintest pink caressing the apples of them. Her eyes were nothing but kind and warm towards him, despite the cool blue color they had.
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 1:35 am
Jacob flinched as Liv wrapped her arms around him and he felt her close to him like that. His heart was racing under her touch, and even after what she'd said, he couldn't help but to be nervous and uncomfortable... but after a moment of her holding him he relaxed a bit and let out a small breath. "I can't help it.... I can't help but blame myself... and hate everyone else for what Jenna did... I know you can't be with someone like me... and I would never ask you to be.... I know I would be no better for you than Tyki is.... as long as I know that you know that we won't be anything... I can deal with flirting... I can handle the mixed signals... I just needed to know that you know... anyway its late... and if I don't get back to the Noah mansion before the Earl wakes up I'm gonna be screwed.... Sorry I upset you... again. Let's pick this up again some other time... until then sleep well" he said, a small smile escaping his lips as he pulled away from Liv's arms. he turned around and gently kissed Liv's cheek. "goodnight" he said as he pushed himself to his feet and left the room.
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 1:41 am
Liv just smiled and sighed as he left her there, shaking her head. Stupid boy...sometimes, I swear... She got to her feet herself and picked her pile of clothes up again, making her way back to her room to fall into a deep, much needed sleep.
(( Goodniiiiiiight <33 c: ))
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:16 am
*Ninja rolls into the room and jumps on the couch* Hehe...
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:30 am
*Makes sure she's alone before getting up and doing the macarena to ease her boredom*
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Ghost-it Notes Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:31 am
((*Stabs her insurance company.* I'm so pissed >:C Wtfk am I paying you for if I can't get a freaking appointment when I need it?))
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:35 am
(( Lame! Wanna borrow my brother's sword? It's sharp and pointy.~ ))
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Ghost-it Notes Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:40 am
((I really do. I'm tired and sick and pissed. If I don't get an appt. today I will kill someone and suck their healthiness out with a straw. >:[ ))
*Walks in and sees Kiah doing the Macarena, and tries really hard not to laugh, but ends up doing it anyway with a giggling snort.*
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:43 am
-walks in, suppressing a yawn behind the back of her hand-
(( Not here for too long, work soon. But still <3 ))
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:49 am
(( Welcome back Liv!
Sil: Well, for other people's sake, I hope you get your appointment... and if not, I hope that sucking out healthiness thing works out for you! biggrin ))
*Stops dancing and turns around very slowly at hearing a giggle* ...We do not speak of this... ever. *Gives Sil a death glare*
Liv: Oh, hi Liv! How are you? We were just sitting around here, NOT dancing. *Gives her a big smile*
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:53 am
(( Thaaanks <3
@Sil: Ily :c <3 ))
@Kiah: -makes a small tired noise- I'm alright...not dancing..? Okay...whatever you say... -trudges to where her fallen hammock is still lying in the middle of the floor and picks it up, crawling up to the rafters with it, fixing it up again, yawning every so often-
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Ghost-it Notes Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:59 am
*Zips lip and throws away the key.* I'll take this deep, dark stain on your reputation to my grave with me... *Smiles, getting a slightly evil glint in her eyes.* Maybe.
*Grabby hands at Livvy.* ;-;
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 9:01 am
@Sil: -looks down at her a bit from her spot- ....What is it?
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The Sleepy Dragon Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 9:01 am
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