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 Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 3:43 pm
[[ XD We gotta get this show on the road somehow... even with two steps forwards, one step back we still need the two steps forwards XD ]]
The choice of whether or not to ask him had been made for her when he obviously overheard her. It wasn't until he spoke that she realized she had been so lost in thought she had spoken without thinking.
"Oh," she started, giving her head a little shake as she brought her senses back to the here and now, "It's just.. this odd little phrase that popped into my head."
She let out a laugh, shaking her head properly now, "It's probably just from some alcohol induced dream...," she gave him an amused look, expecting him to find it as nonsensical as she did, "I mean, 'a lot lot?' That's not even a proper sentence!"
She didn't bother to mention that it had been his phrase, as that just seemed awkward, telling him that he apparently featured in her - alcohol induced - dreams.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 3:59 pm
[ biggrin Yes. ]
Erin sighed, when his suspicions were confirmed. He had heard correctly, and there was no doubt in his mind that the rest of the memories of the previous night would rear their heads soon. He had to tell her what happened. Despite all his efforts to push away his feelings, it seemed like destiny or fate or whatever it may be, seemed determined not to let him forget.
"You're right..it isn't a proper sentence. Because it's the end of something longer," he crossed his arms and looked down, leaning on the wall.
He sighed again and then looked up at Michiyo, "I wasn't completely truthful about what happened last night- Nothing like that-" he quickly added before she could get worried they had done something completely foolish, "Well..."
At that point he recounted the entire night to her. How he found her passed out in the Common Room, and had woken her. How she had seemed so pleased to see him. Her question about why it wasn't just the two of them more often, and his answer about her probably being afraid. Her own admission of terror and her feelings for him. He told her how he too, liked her....a lot a lot. Finally, he recounted how she had taken the leap to kiss him. The heated, wonderful kiss they shared. He looked down again and shuffled his feet a bit.
"When you obviously didn't remember anything this morning...I thought it would be easier to just forget about it. I didn't think you would ever remember. Plus, you were drunk...you weren't completely in control of yourself. You didn't know what you were doing, so it doesn't matter," he tried to dismiss it, the part of himself that was 'sure' he didn't need her, forcing him to brush it off.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 4:25 pm
At some point during his retelling of the evening, she found herself first grasping, then leaning against the wall next to him for support. Even if it sounded completely unlike her, she couldn't accuse him of lying, for as he painted the scenes she saw and remembered them, some more clear than others. They left her flushed with embarrassment and slightly out of breath, her eyes flying left and right, trying to make some sense of the jumble of thoughts and emotions the memories produced.
Not only that, but the nervous knots that she had began to curse into oblivion returned with a vengeance, twisting her insides this way and that. Her mind was racing. They say that alcohol gives your subconscious free reign, that you say and do everything you normally would be sane and restrained enough to refrain from saying and doing. But if she believed that, the implications would be serious enough to give her a prize-winning panic attack.
It would be so easy to go along with what he was saying - to tally everything up to the alcohol. It sounded like he wanted her to. But that wouldn't be fair, to either of them. There was more than just her words after all. He had responded to those words, and he had been completely sober. She couldn't ignore that, nor the sharp happy thrill in her chest when she thought about it.
For a moment, she stood still, mouth opening and closing, mind whizzing round, not even sure what words would come out once her voice decided to function again, "I... don't think that's true..." she said finally, slowly sinking to the floor, using the wall as support, "I think... that my mind knew exactly what it was doing..." She glanced up towards him, a small smile playing at her lips, "A lot better than I usually do..."
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 4:42 pm
Erin watched her as she struggled with it, and he wanted to walk away. He just wanted to turn back time, make everything go back to how it was, maybe even as far as before their first forced kiss under the mistletoe. He was tired of the mixed signals, and while he couldn't deny he was the cause of some of them, she also had her share of confusing advances. He moved away from the wall and turned his back to her after she finished speaking. He took a couple steps towards the opposing wall, arms still crossed.
After what she had said not an even an hour ago, about him not being able to help her, it made it that much more difficult to listen to her admission. One minute she was vague and calculating with her words, the next she was forthcoming and sometimes blunt.
"I can't..," he sighed and shook his head.
He was quiet for a minute before turning to face her again, his arms uncrossing as he gestured along with his words, his frustration clear, "I know you're scared, but. One minute you're pushing me away and the next you're...saying things like that, like you want the same things I want. How do you expect me to feel when that happens?" he gave her a questioning look.
He rubbed his eyes with one hand and then stepped over to her, reaching his hand down to help her from the floor. He pulled her up so she was standing straight in from of him. He took another half-step towards her, so they were maybe only a few inches apart. Placing his hands on her arms, he looked hard into her eyes.
"What do you want, Michiyo? What do you really want?" with the last word, he squeezed her arms a little earnestly.
He was barely keeping himself contained, as everything he had decided on earlier flew out the window.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:13 pm
[[ Uwa, uwa, this is becoming srsbsns D: ]]
His reaction, though expected, still gave her a start. It also made her feel guilty as hell, and once again frustrated with herself for putting him through it. When he finally pulled her to her feet and drew in close, asking his question - a question that reminded her of her talk with Liv after the Valentines party - she knew that this was it. Do or die. Screw it up and he would walk away - and this time he wouldn't return. But she wouldn't - couldn't - give him a false answer just so he would stay. He deserved better than that.
"I... I... I don't know what I want," she confessed, the plea for him to understand evident in her voice and in the look she gave him, "I know I'm not... easy to understand, and I'm not good with words, and I usually overreact to things normal people wouldn't even blink at but... I'm just so lost in all this. I don't exactly have much experience in this area. All I have to go on are my instincts, and they are more of the flight than fight inclination..."
Even during her small speech she could see his patience wearing thin, as she hadn't truly, properly gave him an answer. "All I know...," she began slowly, taking her time to choose her words, "...is that I don't want to lose you." A pause. "And I also know that this, the way it is now, isn't working. I just don't know if I'm... ready... to dive off the deep end."
It probably wasn't what he wanted to hear, and it wasn't nearly everything she wanted to say, or even how she wanted to say it. But it was done.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:32 pm
[ It always becomes serious. sweatdrop ]
Erin searched her face as she spoke, pleading for her to let herself be truly vulnerable, to let herself have what he knew she wanted. What she knew she wanted. After she was finished, he closed his eyes and hung his head. He ground his teeth and sighed through his nose. He stood up straight and let his arms drop to his side. Without a word, he took a step back from her, shaking his head. He turned and took several steps down the hall, walking away from her, from everything. His mind was racing, he couldn't sort anything out. Some memory passed behind his eyes, and he suddenly stopped in his tracks. No.
Turning back around, he walked back towards her. Without stopping, he wrapped one arm around her waist and placed his other hand on her neck. The instant they were pressed together, his lips met hers in a heated, hungry kiss. His eyes snapped shut as he felt her soft lips beneath his own. The force of him against her caused her to be pushed back a step into the wall, but his hold on her made sure she landed gently. In that moment he didn't care if he was pushing her too far. He didn't think about if she wasn't ready, he just knew he needed her to feel it.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:18 pm
As soon as she saw his head tilt forwards after her answer, she knew that that was it. She hadn't made the cut. This was further emphasized when he let go of her to step back and walk away without a word. Her heart sank as she watched him go, a vice starting to tighten in her chest. It was over then, whatever odd undefined bond they had. They would go back to - to what exactly? This whole thing had started from the moment they met, so there was nothing to go back to.
When he sharply turned back round and came stalking back, a small flicker of hope emerged. Perhaps he had changed his mind. The look on his face was very different. In all the months they had known each other, she'd never seen him look at her like this. There was a determination, but also a concentration that startled her. She actually took a small step backwards when he reached her and managed to get out a cut-off, "Wha-.." before his hands found her waist and neck, and his lips found hers.
The effect was instant. She didn't even have to think about whether to respond or not, it happened as if on instinct. Her hands found the nape of his neck and her mind became the fuzzy kind of blank that she by now associated with his kisses. She was glad for the wall, as the tingling sensation spreading out from her stomach caused her knees to want to give out. All this was expected by now, but there was something else he was giving into the kiss, a need, an urgency that was new.
After what was probably seconds - but felt like hours - she came to her senses for long enough to shift her hands to his shoulders and push him away as gently as she could manage, "Wait," she said, breathlessly, then paused to regain a steady breathing rhythm, eyes closed as she gathered her rampant thoughts, which slowly began filtering back into her befuddled mind.
"You can't just..." she finally managed, eyes fluttering open, "We can't just kiss and expect everything I'm... I'm feeling to suddenly disappear." There was no accusation or blame in her voice or manner, which she tried to keep as neutral as possible, despite her flushed cheeks, "Despite how... effective," Here the red on her cheeks deepened, "...it may appear to be."
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:33 pm
Erin smiled and opened his eyes, his own cheeks tinged with pink. He let her push him away, but he placed his hands on the wall either side of her, moving in a little again. He was a little out of breath too, and his heart was beating hard beneath his chest. His eyes rested on hers, and he was tempted to just kiss her again, but he refrained.
"Michiyo," he breathed, "Why..why does it have to be complicated?"
He looked down and moved in a little closer still, his forehead lightly touching hers for a second as he leaned in and out a little again.
"You're everything. You're all I have left, and I can't..," he shook his head and let it hang again, resting his weight on one leg, the other slightly bending at the knee and bouncing on the ball of his foot like a nervous tick.
"I can't force you, I know. It's wrong of me to keep pressuring you."
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:46 pm
[[*Lurks from the ceiling like Spider-Man... cept cooler, and less emo.*]]
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:48 pm
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:56 pm
[[ Last one for tonight~ ]]
"This is complicated because I care!" she answered, perhaps a bit more forcefully than originally planned, "It would be extremely easy if I didn't." Again, she had flashbacks of Liv, and couldn't help but remember her advice, though it felt as impossible to her now as it did then.
His following words were probably meant to be persuasive, but matters just got more complicated. You're all I have left.... If she was afraid of screwing things up before, afraid of hurting him, of hurting herself, of making a terrible, terrible mistake, this declaration only increased that feeling by tenfold.
Luckily for her - or unluckily, depending how one looks at it - she was spared from answering by a soft "Ahum," to their right. Standing by the doorway, arms crossed, an inquisitive eyebrow raised but an amused smile on her face, stood her mother. Her head snapped back and forth between the older woman and Erin, and their current position, and her face flushed. "Er...Hi, Mum," she said, voice strangely high-pitched.
Her mother's smile just widened knowingly, "Breakfast is ready, whenever you two are." Without waiting for an answer, she disappeared back into the ktichen.
[[ Well, I'm off~ XD Just had to throw in the Mum, because I'm evil like that 8D Goodnight all <3 ]]
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:58 pm
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:10 pm
(( .... *Curls up on the CoD and pets it* ))
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:27 pm
[[ Anyone here play League of Legends?]]
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Ghost-it Notes Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:33 pm
((*Curls up on Kiah.*
I don't, but I have many a friend who play it. xD I sadly don't have much time for MMO's anymore! Do you enjoy it?))
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