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 Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:41 am
Allegra - There is a lot more to being an Aburame then simply walking around and eating bandits with your chakra consuming bugs.
...I mean c'mon, look at Shino. He's cool and collected, a scout... he would have SEEN those bandits there and been ready for them via scouting insects.
Also, Insect Sphere is used for EVERYTHING, in almost all of the samples I see. I'd like to see some real RPing with the Aburame clan abilities rather then just... Oh LOOK! Enemy! BUGS SWARM HIM!
I mean, I know you used an insect clone too, but then you just gobbled up the opponents. that's not the only way an Aburame deals with it's enemies. I'd like to see more variety that shows that you really understand this Clan.
[THIS GOES FOR ALL CURRENT AND FUTURE ABURAME APPLICATIONS]
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:52 am
Orchid: Here's my problem with your post... It's lazy. if you want the bloodline, put some effort into it. Yes, I KNOW you created the clan... but that only means you should be able to make an astounding RP Sample regarding it.
...I would expect the same of anyone entering a bloodline submission. Your RP sample just ends out of nowhere and I dunno, it just irks me. Just referencing that your ninjutsu and genjutsu are weak is a cop out... why not perform a ninjutsu and have to do very little damage, or have it not really hinder and advancing team. When the Dragon tattoo is released just "to scare" is the tattoo still used up? These are all things I feel like should be a part of the RP sample. Your Clan is dynamic and interesting... I think you can do a lot more with the RP Sample then you showed.
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 11:02 am
Well the clan isnt really weak with ninjutsu or genjutsu it just takes longer to learn and more chakra to use.. how do I put that into a rp sample?..The Tattoo charges are used... but the jutsu was used as a scare tactic while at the same time buffing up her speed and strength..
meh.. ill add a bunch onto that.. i only ended it out of nowhere cause I didnt see the need to go through it completely.. I stated the clans really only weakness which is they really dont use ninjutsu or genjutsu.. cause it takes longer to learn and uses more chakra making them get tired faster in fights when others when they use it... and I used 2x jutsus.. but ill do more.. thats why I put if you wanted me to do more let me know..
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 11:15 am
In all cases when applying for the Bloodline/Clan... people should put maximal effort into the submission.
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 11:25 am
Cobra_X Akura: Is that really the end of that RP Sample? Its so abrupt.
...all you showed me is a single Crystal Release technique (which doesn't exist on the bloodline description as far as I can tell)... and making a Kunai from crystal. On top of that, your description is lazy. You spent more time babbling about how simple the bloodline is then actually explaining what it can do and what it's limitations are.
You're going to need to do a lot better then that to get this bloodline. The technique I used is in the custom forums, the first custom to be exact...
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 11:27 am
Akura Bashirou Cobra_X Akura: Is that really the end of that RP Sample? Its so abrupt.
...all you showed me is a single Crystal Release technique (which doesn't exist on the bloodline description as far as I can tell)... and making a Kunai from crystal. On top of that, your description is lazy. You spent more time babbling about how simple the bloodline is then actually explaining what it can do and what it's limitations are.
You're going to need to do a lot better then that to get this bloodline. The technique I used is in the custom forums, the first custom to be exact...
I'll have to smack someone to put custom stuff in the Bloodline.
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 11:35 am
Alright Cobra, that's why your the boss of the thread at the moment!
I'll have it all set in 30 minutes - 3 hours... depending how hard Geometry is, and how much time my uncle takes from me...
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 11:38 am
Ok I added a bit >.< My brain hurts now...
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 12:48 pm
Rpc Name: JinTaki Avient
Village: Otogakure
Rank: For RP's sake, we'll say jounin.
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Soma no Ko
What you know about the clan/bl: It began with Sakon and Ukon. These ninja are two separate but identical beings with the same set's of types and chakra etc. The main body is stronger than the other, and the two bodies can help each other defend and attack. With a jutsu they can possess someone and take minor control of them, but pain they deal themselves also afflict them when they possess.
Rp Sample:
Walking alone in hostile territory is always a risky decision to make. In fact this very choice had led these two into their current predicament. The village had caught wind of his approach, and had already deployed numerous scouts to find and attack him. The man, or at least seemingly the man, jumped through the forest with some form of bag on his back. A slight rustling was the only indication of danger the two had as projectiles suddenly flew out of the bushes at them. He dived just under them, the sound as it whistled by enough to set him on the defensive. The chuunin scout threw a flash bang high into the air... some form of warning! "Aww crap. Here come the cavalry," said the form on the man's upper back. "Shut up Jin!" he called out as The man leaped forward.He swung on the man, his fist seeming to morph as two more fists extended for the hit as well and each one connected. As he staggered back a step out of utter confusion, the man pulled back his arm, already bring his fot out for a kick to the man's neck. A second leg, foot in all, swung out as well, a total of two kicks now having connected and the man spun through the air towards the ground. "Good shot Taki," the head would again say, Taki smirking.
The celebration was short lived as two more ninja showed up. Sighing and slapping his forehead, Taki took a defensive stance, cleary that of the Rock Taijutsu the broken sword style, as the ninja approached him. THeir advance had major sped, causing Kay to have to dodged an attack, but as he did this an arm shot out and puched the man's back. Though it wasn't nearly as powerful as Taki could have made the shot, it did enough damage to the other ninja. As he landed and saw the other ninja, he spun with ferocity, a jab aimed at the neck and fueled by adrenaline flying towards him. The punch, much stronger than the punch against the other man, sent him off his feet as the jounin pulled back his attack. "LEt me at them! I want some action too!" Jin would complain as the two began to separate. THough only about as strong and fast as a chuunin, Jin had a lot of strength and speed to work with as well. He stood in teh Sonte body style stanc at his brother's back, considerably smaller in muscle mass but sill an intimidating looking man. JIn ran forward, a punch flying from his body towards the faster enemy. He dodged and sweep kicked him off his feet. This however, was not much of a problem since Jin landed on his side, where he swung his body around and knocked the other male off of his feet as well. He got up and jumped back into the air, falling down with chakra in his fist as he punched, a pillar appearing under the man, only about four feet as opposed to what the technique should have garnered, but still caused the man extreme pain.
Taki however wasn';t having much trouble dodging attacks at an extremely fast rate. THe two ninja were stalemated however, punches being counter and kicks being dodged by each ninja. The enemy landed a kick that sent Taki staggering back and then began to run towards him. Taki was quick on the recovery, countering the attack by cathing the fist and then delivering a crushing punch to his chest that caved in his chest completely. While Taki finished off his foe, Jin was still having diffuculty in his fight. The man was stronger and faster, Jin having only landed a few hits so far, but those were even too weak to be considered hits. Jumping backwards, just out of reach of another attack, Jin was grabbed by Taki. "THank god!" he yelled sucking into his body. As the two battled it out, Taki had a clear advatage over the enemy, Jin using his limbs to add force and consecutive hits to each attack that was thrown. Finally, the other ninja hit the ground unconcious as a final blow was delivered to his neck, and Jin panted heavily. "Take a rest brother, I'll get us out of here soon," he said wiping away sweat from his forehead.
((How about that?))
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:13 pm
Rpc Name: Sajin Komomura
Village: Oto
Rank: AS
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Crystal Release
What you know about the clan/bl: This is really pointless for this clan… It gives the ability to the user, throught the use of his/her lightning and earth chakra, to form crystals of different proportions. Is there anything else to say; the bloodline is pretty basic, it’s technically a massive combination jutsu.
Rp Sample
A black haired boy entered an arena with his katana on his back; he moved his cold eyes taking everything in, the short grass, the tall 20 foot walls. “ Well…. This is nice…” He said as he sighed and reached for his blade. “First round, Sajin Komomura Versus Rin.” Those words echoed throughout the entire area, Sajin quickly looked around for his opponent, only to find a small white haired girl on the other side of the arena. “ I’m suppose to fight you?” Sajin said slowly as he rose and eyebrow at this, the girls did not honor his statement with a response, she simply began to walk toward him, basically passing toward the black haired boy. “What’s wrong with fighting me?” She said coldly as she stopped ten feet away from the boy with her arms crossed, tapping her foot, ultimately annoyed by his comment. “Well uh… you see..” Sajin Began to speak but Rin did not give him a chance to speak; she had shot two kunai at the ninja, he quickly reached for his blade and deflected the two kunai with one simple slash. “ So you are taking this seriously…” Sajin muttered as he lowered his weapon only to find the girl running toward him, he made a rapid number of seals and he jumped back. “Crystal release: Crystal Blizzard” He said as he extended his hands toward the girl as hundreds of crystal shards flew toward the white haired girl.
Rin made a single seal she made a giant slab of stone raise from the ground and completely block the blizzard, he began to fall to the ground and he released a sigh. “Must you make this hard for both of us?” He questioned the girl as she simply gave him a nod, which he couldn’t see since she was behind the stone; she then jumped on top of the stone and glared down on Sajin. “ That’s a very nice ability you got there…” She said as she crossed her arms. “ Oh that old thing?” He said as he picked up a little dirt from the ground and crystallized it in the shape of a kunai. “This… is the crystal element… It’s very rare... I’ve never seen anyone with it.” Sajin commented on his powers instructing the girl on his rare powers. Rin suddenly jumped down on the boy aiming to slash at his hand with a kunai, Sajin quickly made a seal and covered his fist with crystals. He shook his head at the girl’s attempts to get him and he made another seal. “You really shouldn’t jump into an opponent which you know nothing about..” He said as his crystals spread on to the girl’s hand. " I was warned about these tricks, I won't be caught in them again..." She told Sajin as he jumped away from Rin.
The boy formed a small snowflake like crystal on his finger tip. " So... immobilizing you won't work... I guess I'll just have to hit you hard." He muttered as he threw the disk at Rin. " Crystal Hexagon Disk." He said as he sidestepped and jumped back Rin sidestepped to evade the attack and Sajin jumped finding himself above the girl. " Wild Shuriken Dance." He cried as he focused chakra on to his body, the chakra flew around Sajin and suddenly shot out toward Rin, she just had barely evaded the first attack and then found herself directly under an incoming barrage of death bringing crystals. " Tch, you and your fancy tricks..." She mumbled as she made a seal and made a wall of stone cover all of the crystals, Sajin fell in the direction of the wall, as he was about to smash on to the crystal shuriken he moved his hands backward which made the crystals form into a dragon and smash through the wall, as the wall began to crack due to the dragon's strength Rin jumped just as the dragon broke the wall getting on a safer position than the one she was in a few moments ago. Sajin quickly looked upward finding the girl soaring over his dragon. " Crystal Gyrodes " He said as he moved his hand in the direction Rin was, he focused chakra on to the palm of his hand and shot four bullet like crystals at Rin, and to her bad luck the dragon was behind the bullets, raising it's snake like body, making a contrast with the bullets making them almost invisible. Rin stared blankly at the dragon as she reached for her blade. " Crystal Instantaneous.." Sajin then said as as he turned into crystals and moved behind Rin, he then materialized back on to his normal body.
" Well... Do you give up now? " Sajin asked her as he grabbed her arms so that she wouldn't move, the bullets hit her in the legs, she winced but really couldn't do anything about it since Sajin was grabbing her, but suddenly he shoved the girl toward the dragon. The dragon wrapped it's tail around Rin, suddenly a jounin entered the arena and did an air kick to the dragon making it shatter. " The battle is over." The masked jounin said as both Rin and the jounin fell on thr floor.
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 4:13 pm
Cobra_X Martin: I guess my only problems with the RP Sample are as follows:
1. Are the nano bugs REALLY able to travel at small distance VERY quickly? That seems kinda broke to me considering their deadliness.
2. I didn't really see you allowing many of the bugs to die... or mentioning it, because i would assume those chakra blasts would have taken out a bunch. Oh no, the way I interpretted the manga it seemed like the nanobugs wouldn't have any wings which is why the were limited to physical contact. For the sake of a cooler RP sample, i made the fly but I don't really exspect any mod to let bugs like that be able to fly...Mabye they could skip across short distances or something as an evolution? Again, I only did this for a cooler RP sample. Honestly most attacks that hit the insects will kill alot of them but the sheer volume of the insects the average Aburame can store seems to make up for this. Plus the way I invisioned these particular bugs was the ability to siphon large amounts of chakra from the air instead of from a victims body >.>
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 4:45 pm
little mintchan Rpc Name: Syphen Jabbit
Village: leaf
Rank: academy
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Suigestu bloodline[head]
What you know about the clan/bl: The user can regenerate thier body into water when they want to, the user of the bloodline needs to drink water constantly or be dehydrated. The bloodline users are skilled in suiton as their main element.
Rp Sample:
Syphen sat down, taking out a water bottle and taking a drink before a lady's voice came up. "Come on! Why do we have to take so many breaks?!" He put the bottle down and looked at her. "Cause I need to..." He didn't know why he loved the girl so much, maybe cause he was a patient man who tolerated complaining. "I want to finish this mission! We must find the scroll that contains the information!" She was hyper, yes very hyper. They had just gotten a new sensei and he barely spoke to them. "What is so important about a dumb scroll filled with useless information?" He asked. "It has the information on the clans that are near exstinction!" She raised her arms to show it's value with motion. They set off again, reaching the dojo within a hour. It was kind of a fortess but not guarded by anyone or thing.He made hand signs and turned into water, slipping into a small stream that went down to the fortess. It was Teichi Mizu Ryokou (Water Release: Spying Water Travel). He spyed only for another hour then went back up to say it was safe to go in. They went down to the fortess and Syphen made hand signs for Suika no Justu(Hydration techinque) and changed to the form of liquid to go in between the door which had a hole in it only big enough for that. Opening the entrance for them, they walked in and explored to find the sacred scroll. "There it is!!" The girl ran towards it, grasping it in her hands. Syphen saw thin rope on the walls and got wide eyed. "Wait!! It's a trap!!" Too late, the trap sprung up to catch the girl in a net that if she moved would cut her with the thinness of it. Strong enough to hold a person but thin enough to cut them up. The scroll was thrown in the air and landed on the ground. Syphen ran to help her but the sensei grabbed him and put a arm around his neck. Something wasen't right...he felt something poking his butt. "Oh no.....is...he...horny?!?!" Syphen got startled immediatly realizing and pushed back, hearing a crushing/cracking noise the sensei let go in screaming agony. He ran toward his love and cut her down quickly and safetly. "Grab the scroll bunny!!" He turned and ran towards it, his sensei was getting up still in agony. He kicked the scroll under the man and made a set of hands signs. "Gōesuiwan no Jutsu (Water Release: Great Water Arm)" He turned his arm into water and swung it at the sensei, since he was still in pain he was knocked over easily but the force knocked him into a wall. Grabbing the scroll he turned to see where the girl was. She had no special power except taijustu. She was right behind him. "Lets get out of here." She nodded in agreement and they ran out quickly, running till they coulnd't anymore. Stopping to rest finally. "Open the scroll! It can be only opened by someone who belongs to a clan!" She said, Syphen drank hsi water and numed on a carrot, sighing he put his hand on the scroll and pushed chakra into it. It opened the scroll and they studied it for hours. "So I'm the only one left in my clan....?" He looked saddened, his parents were unknown....his only family was a carrot and the girl he loved.Suika no Jutsu (Hydration Technique) Suiton: Gōesuiwan no Jutsu (Water Release: Great Water Arm) Teichi Mizu Ryokou (Water Release: Spying Water Travel)
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 4:53 pm
@Six Path: I'll let Cobra finish up with you.
@Akura:
I don't see a technique called Crystal Blizzard...
Also, how did the girl Rin stop the Crystals with chakra, when it says Ninjutsu cannot break it? On another note, it seems to me that you have your dragon off of the ground, though the Crystal Dragon Jutsu says you have to have it sliding on the ground...Did it just raise its head or something?
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 5:17 pm
Orchid Moon Rpc Name: Kirina Irezumi Village: Iwagakure Rank: Academy Student Bloodline or Clan applied for: Irezumi Clan What you know about the clan/bl: (Everything since I made it) Irezumi Clan is a clan of tattooist who traveled the 5 great nations, once the first war broke out they developed a way to infuse their Chakra into the ink allowing them to use tattoo jutsus. Tattoo jutsus require no chakra to use but use charges. Cant be auto ranked. You get to self teach your clan jutsus. ect ect ect.. Rp Sample: Kirina let out a long sigh as she hid behind a large tree, she had recently stumbled upon a squad of enemy ninja and was currently out numbered. Sure she was Iwa's Saanin but she was not stupid and didn't ever like to underestimate people. "Hmm there's four.. one has to be a Jounin.. the others could be Gennin or anything higher..Dam.." Kirina who was bad at Ninjutsu and Genjutsu but good at Taijutsu had a ace up her sleeve when it came to fighting, her clan jutsus were both secrete and unknown to most of the world. Suddenly with out warning a large amount of shuriken landed around her and hit the tree behind her and with that she instantly ran off through the forest with the squad of ninja behind her. "Ah.. this is annoying.. I don't think ill kill them.. just scare them off or knock them out.. I really need to get back to my student.." While she continued to run and without giving second thought she quickly ran through a set out hand signs and spoke softly, "Tattoo Style: Dragon Power". After doing so the Dragon tattoo on her stomach came to life and crawled its way off of her before enlarging to twice the size of her. The dragon then went behind her and quickly merged with her once. With that she slid to a stop and turned around and headed straight back towards the squad who suddenly stopped because of the strange jutsu and that Kirina had suddenly changed course. "Go away or your dead!" She yelled as she neared the squad which then separated in 3 directions leaving 1 person to stay there and take on Kirina. "Your funeral.." Because of the effects that were given by her tattoo jutsu she was able to close in on the enemy much faster then how fast she was running before. " Tattoo Style: Hidden Tattoo Weapon!" She said as she formed a few hand signs before grabbing a handle that suddenly came out of her shoulder, once she had hold of the handle she pulled out a long katana. Just before Kirina was able to get within range of the lone ninja, it quickly jumped high into the air in attempt to get out of the way. Seeing this, Kirina quickly put her right foot in front of her at a slight angle to stabilize her while she now slid past where the ninja use to be. As she was sliding she quickly took aim up at the ninja before launching her katana at him, her aim was made off so that the katana would just graze him. "Dam.. Since I'm running out of charges.. lets finish this.." She said softly as she slid to a stop, almost immediately she ran through a set of hand seals before holding out both her palms in different directions. "Tattoo Style: Palm Hands!" Instantly the tattoos on the palms of her hand began to swirl before quickly forming into four hands that shot out from each palm, and with a quick glance in each of the Ninja's direction each of the tattoo hands which now had extremely long arms shot off in the direction of the enemy ninja. Since there were 8 arms and 4 enemy ninja, 2 arms went after each ninja except for one that went to grab the katana that Kirina threw. Due to the increased speed and strength given to her from the dragon tattoo the arms were stronger then normal, the first arm shot through a tree and instantly latched onto the back of the neck of one of the enemy ninja while another went around the tree quickly a few times resulting in the ninja not only getting held onto by the back of the neck but now the ninja's arms were trapped by the extremely long arm that wrapped around the ninja and the tree. "One down.." As she spoke the other arms chased after the other ninja but soon were out to far and came back to Kirina, the two arms the managed to get one of the ninja quickly broke apart the tree before pulling the ninja to Kirina. "Well.. that didn't work out perfectly as planned but I did get a hostage.." She then took a deep breath before ending the Dragon jutsu that she used earlier since it was draining her tattoo charges the longer she keep it going. Even though Kirina's palms had 4 arms coming out of them she was still able to preform hand seals which she quickly did in hopes to get the next jutsu off before the enemy came back to get their squad member. "Tattoo Style: Dragon Flight!" Once again the Dragon tattoo on her stomach came to life and quickly crawled its way off of her before enlarging to twice the size of her except this time the dragon stayed in front of her instead of merging with her again. The moment she was done with the jutsu she jumped up onto the dragons back before yelling out into the forest. "I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANY OF YOU, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!" With that said the dragon began to flat its wings and slowly fly up 10 yards into the air. Once she did the rest of the enemy squad soon appeared below, once they did Kirina ended the Palm tattoo jutsu causing the captured ninja to fall down to its squad. Without giving the enemy squad time to react, the dragon quickly took off through the sky. reposted since everyone else is reposting
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 6:10 pm
Cobra_X HetaliaRULZ: I only saw you use one technique from this bloodline, and it wasn't even the technique's signature move (The Imitation beast technique)
...please include more examples of how you would use the bloodline and try to use more techniques to show you know how to use everything properly. Er- ok!
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