iDistant Dreams
So I have this friend. . .
She's a girl, but dresses like a boy and is often mistaken as a boy. Even when people know she's a girl they usually use the term "He" or "his" (etc). Her clothes choice are meant and designed for guys. Her hair "used to be" short-ish, but not so much as far as a boy-cut. Her act is innocent, in that she pretends to not understand any perverted jokes or even mild ones. Her voice isn't deep but passes enough to sound like a guy. When her friends debate against other people on her gender, she often watches the argument, doesn't say anything and perhaps laughs. She follows Christian ethics. Before she never ever swore. Lately, she has been swearing more frequently.
Problems:
1. Her friends worry about her and think of how she'll be treated in the future.
2. Doesn't correct her gender when someone mis-takes it
3. Has been to 2 (as far as I know) all guy sleepovers (in which, I'm pretty sure all those guys don't see her as a girl although know she is) [just playing videogames and what-not]
Minor-problems that make people misjudge her:
1. Refuses to touch the colour pink because it is too "girly"
2. Tries to do "boy actions" (Asks for us to play football with her, and plays SC2)
Recently, she got a haircut and didn't tell the hair cutter that she was a girl. The barber dude mis-took her order, took out a razor and shaved her head pretty much bald. . .now she definitely looks like a guy. Seeing a hint of happiness with her new hair cut, our group of friends (comprised of, say, 6 girls) asked her if she wanted to mistaken as a guy, and she just shrugged (Perhaps not wanting to lie that she actually does, but not wanting to give a straight answer as "Yes, I do")
Whatever she'll do in her future and how ever long she's going to keep this act up.
I also read something on a website about PCOS, which concerns me that she may or may not have. . .Gender confusion maybe?
EDIT: More-so a rant than a secret.
She's a girl, but dresses like a boy and is often mistaken as a boy. Even when people know she's a girl they usually use the term "He" or "his" (etc). Her clothes choice are meant and designed for guys. Her hair "used to be" short-ish, but not so much as far as a boy-cut. Her act is innocent, in that she pretends to not understand any perverted jokes or even mild ones. Her voice isn't deep but passes enough to sound like a guy. When her friends debate against other people on her gender, she often watches the argument, doesn't say anything and perhaps laughs. She follows Christian ethics. Before she never ever swore. Lately, she has been swearing more frequently.
Problems:
1. Her friends worry about her and think of how she'll be treated in the future.
2. Doesn't correct her gender when someone mis-takes it
3. Has been to 2 (as far as I know) all guy sleepovers (in which, I'm pretty sure all those guys don't see her as a girl although know she is) [just playing videogames and what-not]
Minor-problems that make people misjudge her:
1. Refuses to touch the colour pink because it is too "girly"
2. Tries to do "boy actions" (Asks for us to play football with her, and plays SC2)
Recently, she got a haircut and didn't tell the hair cutter that she was a girl. The barber dude mis-took her order, took out a razor and shaved her head pretty much bald. . .now she definitely looks like a guy. Seeing a hint of happiness with her new hair cut, our group of friends (comprised of, say, 6 girls) asked her if she wanted to mistaken as a guy, and she just shrugged (Perhaps not wanting to lie that she actually does, but not wanting to give a straight answer as "Yes, I do")
Whatever she'll do in her future and how ever long she's going to keep this act up.
I also read something on a website about PCOS, which concerns me that she may or may not have. . .Gender confusion maybe?
EDIT: More-so a rant than a secret.
I wouldn't worry about it. Whether they do see see themselves as a boy or not, they're still your friend and you should respect them regardless of gender. Liking/disliking things does not mean anything when it comes to gender. Men can like pink and women can like videogames and it doesn't mean that they're defying their gender, it just means that they personally like/dislike it because that's just who they are. If they do see themselves as a boy, you should be respectful and try regarding them as a boy. That's how they see themselves and no one should be able to dictate how they should see themselves. Being born with a certain set of genitals does not mean people aren't able to identify themselves as other genders. Gender isn't black and white and it's not something that can be understood over night.
@LMF: As a trans-ally, you should help educate others about gender rather than pass judgement on those who don't understand it. Not everyone can understand gender instantaneously so expecting someone to do so is ridiculous. This isn't how we're going to make progress.
