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 Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 12:20 am
This quick interjection into the acting commentary brought to you by Fadia.
Our school is currently doing on the of the coolest/strangest play concepts I have ever heard of. We're doing the play "Sorry, Wrong Number" (a radio suspense drama from the thirties(?)) but instead of doing the stereotypical era-dress, etc. we are doing it all the the music of Blondie (Hangin' on the Telephone, Sunday Girl, Just Go Away, I Know But I Don't Know, Picture This, Fade Away and Radiate, Will Anything Happen, 11:59, One Way or Another), LIP SYNCING it no less, and all running around in punk clothes and hair--awesome, no?
Just felt the need to share my current acting status--I love to act, I suck at it in comparison to my friends, and anyone who's even interested in it should follow their passion and get involved! pirate pirate
And now back to your regularly scheduled topic.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:45 am
AkureiKnight BakaTulip AkureiKnight Uhhh... BT.. I was coming in to the guild fourms and I accidentally clicked "Report Guild" but it said that a report has already been made for this guild. Does that mean that someone reported us? eek Probably a homophobic troll or something like that. I'm not worried. Oh okay. Whew! x3 -cling- :'D
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 4:00 pm
Figure it's safe to post here, 'cause no one will ever read it.
No one that can help me, at least.
I've always mocked emo people. Called them stupid and selfish, and what-have-you. I've always preached about being cheerful and happy. And when things are bad that, there's always tomorrow.
But right now i'm having trouble believing it. I truly am.
My life is going downhill, big time. And all my mother is doing about it is suggesting I start getting medicated for it. Gee, thanks mom. Like I really want to feel any more numb than I already do.
I know it's my own fault. If I tried harder, life would be easier, better...i'd be happier. It's all my fault I can't succeed at anything. I realize that. I ******** up all the time and i'm just reaping the bitterness of my failed life. I understand that.
But I want help. I just want someone to help me.
Someone who won't make my problems feel insignificant. I already know they are. But clearly that isn't stopping them. It isn't stopping me from feeling this way.
I can't find a point to life anymore....I just can't. I've hit a brick wall. Big time.
I'm young. I know. I have my health, mostly. I know. I should be praising G-d every day for the life he's seen fit to bestow me. But...I...I just can't.
I don't feel good. I don't feel right. I don't feel...anything, right now.
I just want someone to take me seriously. I feel selfish enough already. Far too selfish to ask for help, 'cause nothing's wrong with me. I don't hurt myself, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. There's nothing wrong with me. Nothing that gives me the jurisdiction to complain, anyway.
..But still I can't stop this pain.
I don't know why. I don't know what caused it...
...But clearly it's not going to go away by itself.
It's not that I want to die. I just want to escape, to be honest. I feel trapped, panicked, caught like a deer in the headlights.
Is it a childish dream? Yes. But still...I've often had fantasies of just up and leaving one day. Getting on a train and just riding it to the end of the line. Not telling a soul where i'm going, and not even knowing myself.
I know it's silly, but I want to leave...I need to leave. I just need a vacation. From my friends, from my peers, from my parents...just...everyone.
I want to be somewhere where no one knows my name.
But alas. As I am only a child...I don't have that right.
Oh well.
And not that this is a bad thing, but once again, I have no idea about my sexuality. I'm so ******** confused.
Someone save me.
Or delete this. Either way. I'm sorry for wasting your time. Just need to vent...
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:50 pm
No one is going to delete your post. There is no need to and you're in trouble. We've never really turned our backs on anyone, and we wont turn our backs on you just because you're feeling cruddy. Everyone gets these feelings, and Im not saying that to make you feel better. Just letting you know that you're not alone in this.
I dont know what I can really offer other than saying that you have your whole life ahead of you, so there is no reason for you believe you've failed life. You have alot of other chances to turn your life around. It seems you have a good head on your shoulders, I know you will do just fine.
Maybe you could plan a trip with some of your friends or some of your close family members just to get away? I know that when I get confused or in a troubled / stressed time it helps to just get away. I remember when I was starting high school.. me and my parents didn't get along very well and I would stay up late at night daydreaming of being older and having my own life or running away to live with some of my close friends. It helps to escape anyway you can so that you can cope with real life.
Im sorry you're confused about your sexuality. Maybe you could just let it flow right now. I get into moods where Im confused and usually I try not to worry about it and stress myself over it untill I find my place again. But that's just me.
I really hope you start to feel better. And any of us will always be here for you. We're not going to let you drown.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:34 pm
I know it sucks. To be that person who doesn't do anything bad, no drugs, no meds, no alcohol, not cutting, nothing. So clearly you're a picture of mental health. It's painful. I had a few episodes of feeling like I was going insane, like I wanted to rip my skin off my body. If I can suggest, if you're feeling an episode of panic... go jog. It helps. It burns off some extra pent up energy that adds to that feeling of being caught in headlights with nowhere to go. It burns energy and allows you time to sort your thoughts or drown them out, either way. Volunteer, audition for a play, find something that you regularly need to devote your time to. For me, I started working out and it helped me out alot.
As for your sexuality.. just let it flow. Don't be concerned with labels. They cause way more trouble than they are worth.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:24 pm
I'm back! I've got neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeews! Remember my fiance who cheated on me? Well... I sat down with her and we worked things out. She's on heavy probation, but we're doing fine. We aren't engaged anymore, sadly. I had to call that off until I felt I could fully trust her. She's willing to work for my trust, though. It's not easy, us being like this, but it's sure better than not being together. I have good faith that it'll be back on track.
Also.
YAY BIRTHDAY! I'M 19 TODAY (the 12th)!
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 4:23 am
Karnell I'm back! I've got neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeews! Remember my fiance who cheated on me? Well... I sat down with her and we worked things out. She's on heavy probation, but we're doing fine. We aren't engaged anymore, sadly. I had to call that off until I felt I could fully trust her. She's willing to work for my trust, though. It's not easy, us being like this, but it's sure better than not being together. I have good faith that it'll be back on track. Also. YAY BIRTHDAY! I'M 19 TODAY (the 12th)! Happy Birthday! And I'm glad you got everything worked out. ^-^
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:36 pm
I'm really happy today.
I skipped my period,
i'm like 11 days late or sometihng now.
And Saturday i just found out.
...
I'm not pregnant!
wooo!!!
cool I am such a loser sometimes. rolleyes
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 3:35 pm
Congrats and happy birthday to the Karnell 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:59 pm
Karnell I'm back! I've got neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeews! Remember my fiance who cheated on me? Well... I sat down with her and we worked things out. She's on heavy probation, but we're doing fine. We aren't engaged anymore, sadly. I had to call that off until I felt I could fully trust her. She's willing to work for my trust, though. It's not easy, us being like this, but it's sure better than not being together. I have good faith that it'll be back on track. Also. YAY BIRTHDAY! I'M 19 TODAY (the 12th)! Good luck! and Happy Birthday. 19... lucky.
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:28 am
*giggle snort*
Okay okay. I was watching Angel with my friend last night when we saw this character, a young woman whose twin sister was killed by vampires, so she went around killing vampires for revenge. And I thought she looked familiar but I couldn't really place her.
So anyways, I had this theory that kinda only made sense if your a fan, but anyways my friend thought i was wrong. So to prove myself, I went to look at what episodes she was in, and while yes I proved my theory, I found out where I recognized her from.
She plays Tina on The L Word. XD
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 8:00 pm
I did that with Marie Antoinette.
only i never figure out who he was.
King Louie, i mean.
i swear I know who he is.
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:37 pm
BakaTulip *giggle snort* Okay okay. I was watching Angel with my friend last night when we saw this character, a young woman whose twin sister was killed by vampires, so she went around killing vampires for revenge. And I thought she looked familiar but I couldn't really place her. So anyways, I had this theory that kinda only made sense if your a fan, but anyways my friend thought i was wrong. So to prove myself, I went to look at what episodes she was in, and while yes I proved my theory, I found out where I recognized her from. She plays Tina on The L Word. XD No s**t O_o Now I wanna watch Angel just to see her in there. I know that the chick that plays Jenny plays that guys nasty sister on "Not Another Teen Movie" and she plays in "The Black Dalia". Also the chick that plays Marina plays in a movie with Tom Cruise but I dont remember the movie. surprised
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:37 pm
I got confused for a second because there's a Jenny in the Buffyverse too.
Bleh.
My room smells of hetero-sex *cries*
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:28 pm
AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-life sucks.
.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA.
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