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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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 Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:35 am
I'll get on reviewing it soon. Everybody keep an eye out for my Chapter 20 review. coming up.
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:19 am
Well that was fast of me. Let's get on with it before I go to school.
~Chapter 20 Review~
What an exciting chapter. I was on pins and needles. I suppose It'd be best if I reviewed the chapter in two parts, as that's how the chpater was presented. For one thing, this chapter is long! Easily able to be two chapters. But With the nifty little ---- Lonewolf added in the middle, its easy to read half way, get a drink, and come back to read the rest with searching too much. So far I have not seen any spelling mistakes, which pleases me. Lonewolf, your specific words had me looking up things online. Okay, enough of the critical review, let's move on to the big point: The story.
Holy cow, what a wild ride this chapter turned out to be. I may have to read it again after school. The first half really furthered the plot, but left enough mystery to make you wonder "What's gonna happen next?" There were a few scary moments, but I think this chapter shows us just how bad the guys we're dealing with are. I was sure the soldier was a goner. But I better stop myself, less I start making spoilers. The second half of the chapter is where the action really starts. Ooh boy, what a fight! Action, action, action! Made me feel like I was playing Zelda, Metroid, and Dragon Quest all at once, but I was just reading! Wowwie! And don't think it's JUST action. Oh, there's humor. I nearly died laughing after I read the Majik thing. What an enterance. The mental image was too hilarious. But you'll have to read to find out what I'm talking about. The Juggalo Josh part was funny too. But what a battle. Action packed, but with such teamwork. The hard part is not in seeing it in your mind. No, Lonewolf paints a very clear picture, making it easy to imagine while reading. The hard part is believing Lonewolf wrote all this! I must must say, the fight senses are getting better and better. Writing a scene with multiple people fighting is hard, but Lonewolf manages not only to share the glory, but keep the scene moving fluidly. Lonewolf, I have to say, I'm happy to be writing this review. First the plot gets thicker, then curiousity peeks, then a fight, then a laugh, then a fight, then a gasp, then a fight!, and then it is all wrapped up with a little humor, a touching moment, and a general feeling of closure. So everyone, grab a drink and sit down, cause this one is going to take awhile, but I promise you won't want to leave it for a second. Enjoy.
Action: 5/5 scream
Detail: 5/5 ninja
Humor: 5/5 rofl
Drama: 3/5 dramallama
Captivity: 5/5 eek
Overall Rating: 5/5 heart
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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The_Legendary_Lonewolf Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:37 am
Wow. I'm very flattered, Ocarina. Heh, I do try my best and yeah it wasn't easy to write a scene with all the dragoons fighting simultaneously, but unfortunately that is how all the fights are going to be in the entire story, so I might as well get the hang of it now. The dragoons are a team and I need to depict that in the story. It took me pretty much all night to type out that chapter.
Stay tuned for the next chapter. wink
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:33 am
Awesome chapter lonewolf!
Keep up the incredible work heart
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:40 am
The_Legendary_Lonewolf lol ok, I guess. So how've you been? btw everyone, I finished chapter 20 in the Lonewolf's Dragoons book. This one is rather long, but packed with action. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 1:41 pm
I like the chapter, it's really good.
heart HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! heart
sorry if I misspelled it guys. sweatdrop
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 3:39 pm
four day weekend woowho!... well except I got work on sunday... and monday afternoon... uh.... two and a half day weekend! And I got all my homework done, so its a real weekend.
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 11:35 pm
Added chapter 21. It's not as action packed as chapter 20 was, but at least it explains things. 3nodding
@Neko-Mew: Aww sad sorry to hear that Neko. Well, if you want, I have a new thread in this guild called "The Official Rant" thread so if you want to talk about it, just post it in there and maybe we can all cheer you up. 3nodding smile
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The_Legendary_Lonewolf Captain
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 11:35 pm
dammit Lonewolf, couldn't you at least least wait until morning to post your next chapter? You know I read everything as soon as it's put up. And sense I already read it, I have to give a review, or else I'll forget. Okay. I'll make it a quickie.
Chapter 21 (late night review)
Okay, where to start, still not seeing any spelling mistakes so either Lonewolf's getting better, or I'm slipping. Either way, I'm enjoying myself. No action in this chapter at all. Everyone take a breath from the last chapter, regain your composure. As for drama... no... well not really. Maybe a little with the scene with dicussions of the past, but nothing tear worthy that'll win an oscar. Basically, this was a transition chapter. Explan the plot, settle everything down, clean things up, some people would have had the dragon corpses just disappear and hope the reader forget about it, but thankfully Lonewolf took the time to throw a rational point in there. Plenty of humor sprinkled here and there. But it leaves off not with a feeling of closure, but with me wanting to read ch. 22, which sadly isn't out yet. A great set up, but nothing to eat a bag of popcorn with while reading.
Get a neccessary chapter that sets up the scene for Chapter 22.
Action: 1/5
Drama: 2/5
Humor: 3.5/5
Detail: 4.5/5
Captivity: 4/5
Overall Rating: 3/5
Okay there's a rating, I'm going to bed now.
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 11:44 pm
Haha, thanks Ocar. Yeah, this chapter is merely setting the stage for what's to come in chapter 22.
Which btw, brace yourself for that chapter, cause it's gonna be pretty crazy. wink
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The_Legendary_Lonewolf Captain
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 11:47 pm
The_Legendary_Lonewolf Haha, thanks Ocar. Yeah, this chapter is merely setting the stage for what's to come in chapter 22. Which btw, brace yourself for that chapter, cause it's gonna be pretty crazy. wink dude I'm ready for anything you can dish out. I'm looking forward to it... later.
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:04 am
The_Legendary_Lonewolf Added chapter 21. It's not as action packed as chapter 20 was, but at least it explains things. 3nodding @Neko-Mew: Aww sad sorry to hear that Neko. Well, if you want, I have a new thread in this guild called "The Official Rant" thread so if you want to talk about it, just post it in there and maybe we can all cheer you up. 3nodding smile
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:17 pm
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT ******** HACKED
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:29 pm
OMFG...omfg...relena's going to kill me...i had her chyaku norisu scarf...
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:39 pm
got hacked? What happened? Does this have anything to do with all that money you recently came into possession of? what was it? Facebook?
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