Welcome to Gaia! ::

(my apologies on the length and major suckiness I am really bad at fights)

Seyla Hawking stood in the long dark corridor. The cool metal plastered all over the walls, floors, and ceilings caused the air to seem quite chilled. She shivered lightly; she hadn't quite been prepared for this cold temperature. Hopefully the testing room would be a little warmer. She took a few steps forward her footfalls echoing through the hall in the fashion of a dripping faucet; slow and monotonous. Everything seemed to remind her that she was alone right now. No one could help her in this, not Keila, not Pyro, not Michio, nor Zero. Seyla was alone and she had to do this, not just for herself but for everyone else. If she was able to pass this test it would only give her father more reason to let her stay behind.

Seyla had grown a lot from when she first arrived here at Ria High. She came here a scared and shy young teenager with only one thing on her mind; not getting hurt. She hid herself from everyone, fearing what might happen if she got too close to them. She knew she would be leaving one day, and she had no choice about it. It was her father's profession, it was what put food on the table for her family every night and sent her here to Ria. She loved her father and all it was just that his occupation hurt her so much. In the beginning she had been a normal little girl. The first day of school she would make friends and play, be happy. She was never shy as a child. At that time she didn't really understood what it meant for her father to be in the military. She just thought he was like everyone else. He would wake up early in the morning, go to work for 8 or 9 and then get back around 5 or so. Nothing unusual. It wasn't until that fateful day that Seyla realized what her father's position would mean for her and her future.

She remembered it and she remembered it well. It was a nice summer evening. The day had been sticky and humid but there had been a rather quick shower. Thankfully it helped cool down the temperature from a blazing 95 degrees to a serene and comfortable 70 or so. She was playing tag outside with her brother. He being older, he always seemed to win but she never gave up. She remembered catching him for the first time that day. Legitimately tagging him, not any of the ones where her brother let her tag him. Oh no she outright tagged him. She was so excited and her brother kept teasing her, insisting that she hadn't tagged him and that it was just a fluke. So the two went on arguing childishly like that for a few moments until their mother called. Seyla and her brother glanced at each other and then suddenly both burst into a full out sprint. Through the tall grass that needed cutting, over the blue tiled patio and up the stained stairs of the wooden deck. Of course her brother had beaten her but she didn' care. She had tagged him after all. Her mother watched them race with a smile on her face. Her son had run inside but Seyla tugged at the bottom hem of her shirt. Her mother looked down and ruffled her hair.

"Hmm? What is it Seyla?" she had said. Seyla jumped up and down with a bright smile. She was beaming as she danced around.

"I finally tagged him Mommy!" she exclaimed.

"Oh really? Well why don't you go inside you can tell your father about it. But we need to have a talk first" her mother said. Oh those words Seyla now hated those words. Every time her mother or father said "we need to have a talk" it meant the inevitable. They were moving again. But as the first time, Seyla had no idea what was coming.

So little Seyla walked through the screen door and sat next to her brother on the loveseat. It was vertically striped in blue and white and was positioned so that it faced the matching couch where their parents now sat. The only thing between them was the crown coffee table and the family's German Shepherd Nicole; she was lying on the floor minding her own business.

"Now your father and I have something to tell you" her mother announced. Both children looked up expectantly as if to say, 'come on get it over with we want to play'. It was true, it was almost getting dark and that meant they couldn't play outside anymore. It also meant that it was time for bed soon. Her mother shot a nervous glance to her husband as if pleading for him to break the news. So with a sigh he did. He cleared his throat and looked them both in the eyes.

"Now I'm going to be honest with you. As you both know I am in the military. So far I've been able to stay in one place because you guys are so young. But now you two have started to get older and I can't use that as an excuse anymore. We're going to be moving in a week. I know you don't want to-" he began but he wasn't able to finish before Seyla's brother jumped up in protest.

"Moving! What about all of my friends Dad!" he exclaimed. You could tell he was clearly distraught by all of this. She on the other hand didn't say a thing. For poor little Seyla still didn't understand why they were moving at all. Nor what her father's career meant for her. So she did the only thing she felt she could do at the moment. She ran upstairs to her room crying. A loud noise followed signaling that she had indeed slammed her door.

Seyla suddenly snapped back to reality from her rather unpleasant flashback. It was odd how she remembered the first time so well but all of the others seemed to just disappear from her memory. Maybe she was numbing herself to it all? No she still felt the pain every time. But right now Seyla didn't have time to ponder that. She gave herself a look over in the reflection of the metal door. Everything down here had to be metal due to the fact that it was underground. If it weren't metal or cement, it would probably cave in with the possibility of causing a catastrophe that she was sure the school definitely did not want to deal with. She felt she was dressed properly. After all this examination was one that would be a fight. At least that was what she had heard. It would be one that would test the abilities of each student at a custom level. She hoped it wouldn't be terribly hard, after all she was fairly new still. Her frown seemed apparent in the warped reflection. Although the emotions of which her grayish gold eyes expressed were hidden behind her dark brown hair. She kept it down once again, in her opinion she didn't feel comfortable with the judges seeing her eyes. It was always an insecurity of hers. She pushed her hair behind her ears so that she could see at least. Maybe she should have worn a headband instead. Her frown grew even deeper. She was decked out in black combat boots, much like the ones her father probably wore when in uniform. If there was one thing she had picked up from him it was keeping a polished appearance. Her boots were shined and her clothes were clean. Even if it was simply a pair of loose pants, which she kept tucked into her boots, and a white tank top.

But there was something there that Seyla never used to wear before she came here to Ria High School. It was her gloves. Black in color they covered her hands in a thin yet protective fabric. They were fingerless of course, as that was the way she liked them and they stretched up to her elbows. As she looked at this accessory she smiled. Someone very dear to her had given them to Seyla as a gift. Once satisfied with her appearance she reached her hand out to the door's handle and pulled it towards her. It wouldn't budge! She added another hand to it and pulled again, as hard as she could. Still nothing. So here she was ready for the test but she couldn't even get into it. This was not good.

A student came by, a lithe girl with long brown hair tied back with a red headband. Her eyes were as blue as the sea in the Caribbean, like two little gems sparkling in the night. Now if only Seyla had her eyes. Seyla thought she heard giggling and sure enough as she spun around she saw it was the girl. Her gloved hands covered her mouth as she stood there laughing her head off. Seyla simply blinked, showing her confusion.

"Push the door, it says push" she explained. Seyla almost fell over with embarrassment right then and there. How was she supposed to pass the test if she wasn't even able to figure out that you were supposed to push the door and not pull?

"Uh..thanks" she said quietly. A crimson color crept up upon her cheeks from embarrassment.

"You're very welcome" The girl simply smiled and curtsied in her red skirt and black petticoat. Seyla's eyes drifted upward to notice the red corset like top that seemed to match her skirt perfectly. Her outfit really was well thought out. Small hints of black from the gloves, her knee high boots, and the petticoat, and then red with complimented her hair nicely. She wanted to say something but decided against it as she pushed the doors open this time.

She found herself in a small waiting room. It was square in shape with chairs and a couch as well. She supposed it was intended to keep the students relaxed while they waited. After all anxiety tended to do nothing for one's performance. She looked up and saw a camera hanging from one of the corners of the room. Its circular lens would change in shape as it zoomed in and out, inspecting every little detail of the room. It then stopped at her and its head went up and down as if trying to confirm her identity. The camera stopped at her eyes and she suddenly felt uncomfortable but had no choice but to stand there. The moment felt like eternity for her though and she couldn't wait for it to be over.

Once the camera was satisfied and had retreated she took a seat in one of the chairs. They were rather comfortable as she found herself sinking right into it. She sighed and looked at the clock posted on the left wall. 14:44 it read. Military time, it was only more of a reminder to how important this test was. Why oh why did everything somehow seem to link back to him, her father? She could have sworn she heard the clock ticking in her head waiting for it to strike 14:45. That was her testing time. Sure enough right at the instant that the clock struck 14:45 a door on the opposite side of the room was opened. A robotic voice boomed over the speakers in the room.

"Seyla Hawking please enter" it called. So she stood up and made her way out of the waiting room and into another room. Except this one was different. It was massive! A circular floor with high curved ceilings that met at its center point to form a dome. She spun around getting used to her surroundings. The floor was metal and her boots made a clanking sound with each step she took. She also noticed a large mirror on one side of the room. It was probably one of those one way mirrors, where people were on the other side watching her. Microphones also were hanging from the ceiling at various points. They were tiny little lapel mikes, of which she knew to be very powerful for their small size. There were also speakers here as well, but no cameras. The caused Seyla to smile, especially after her experience with the one in the waiting room.

A thought suddenly occurred to her. This room was cold alright, but it was growing colder. Mists seemed to envelope her feet with their cold air. She hugged herself tightly and shivered. Just great, they had to put her in the environment she was least comfortable with. She hated the cold, especially since her element was fire; its opposite. She had to adjust though. She couldn't let this cold break her down, especially since she hadn't even seen her opponent!

That's when she heard it. A loud clicking noise and then the sound of mechanized doors slowly pulling apart the two large doors directly across from her. Oh this process was painstakingly slow. She was beginning to grow anxious to get it over with, mainly because she was afraid of what loomed behind those two enormous doors. Would it be a dragon from mountains tall and icy? Or what about a demon with a sword of ice? The possibilities kept racing through her mind as the loudspeaker relayed important instructions for her. Of course the only part she caught was the end.

"If there is at all any reason for the fight to be stopped, whether it be you fearing your safety or otherwise let us know and we will stop the fight." Seyla swallowed hard at the sound of this. They were perfectly serious weren't they? She suddenly wondered if any students had died here. She knew she would much rather die than throw the fight; she wouldn't be able to take the embarrassment nor the shame that came with losing. It was then that she realized her opponent had emerged.

She was tall and everything she touched turned to ice. Heck even her skin was the light blue shade of ice, and her eyes. They were very piercing. Long twisted and braided hair fell over her shoulders and body with large rings of ice attached at the ends. As Seyla watched her she wasn't scared at all no she wanted to laugh. Her opponent seemed to look more like a dancer than anything else. With her bare feet, and bracelets of ice. Even her clothing attire or lack of much of it seemed to suggest the same.

"Fighters ready!" she heard the voice call again. She drew herself into a stance. Her knees were slightly bent as one arm was bent in front of her defensively. Her other hand was slightly bent at her side. She had noticed that her opponent didn't move at all. She simply stood there graceful as ever. This confused Seyla. Wasn't she going to prepare herself?

"Begin Fight!" the voice echoed once again. At this point Seyla had begun to summon a ball of fire to the hand at her side. She felt the familiar warmth spread throughout her body as she pushed it forward to her hand using her mind. Soon a ball of fire had formed there. She smiled. This would be over in no time. She watched the ball of fire grow until she figured it large enough and then through it towards her opponent. Her opponent saw it coming though and gracefully moved to the side, just like that of a dancer, leaving Seyla's flame to be extinguished by the cold air. Okay so maybe this would be a little harder than Seyla had originally thought.

She watched intently as her opponent brought her open palm to her lips. She winked at Seyla which gave Seyla a bad feeling inside. She was right too for as soon as she blew her breath turned to sharp pieces of ice. It wasn't until a small shard cut her shoulder that she realized how dangerous they were. She didn't have time to examine the wound though. Her attention was now fully upon the task of evading the shards of ice that flew dangerously towards her like hail.

There was no way to avoid all of them of course but she devised away to avoid most of them. Only a small amount of the shards were at her feet. She smirked having outsmarted her opponent. She dove down and rolled underneath the shards of ice towards the woman. Meanwhile she was forming fire in her hands. So now when she stood the launched the fire forward at her.

"Gothcha" she teased as the flames hit her. It wasn't a finishing move at all but it was some progress. Her opponent definitely seemed weakened by it. But while Seyla was reveling in her small victory the ice maiden, as she had come to call her, planted a kick right at her stomach. Seyla was knocked down onto the cold floor and felt the effects immediately. She was starting to freeze! She growled in annoyance.

"I've never had to do this before but...here goes nothing" she said to herself. She placed her hand upon the ice that was forming on her stomach and chest and fought off the ice with fire of her own. The ice started to melt but not before the fire started to burn her. She bit her lip and dealt with the pain. There was no way she could fail. She stood up ready for round two. Now her tank top had been reduced to nothing but one that cut off at her midriff. Her gloves were still there though. She had forgotten that they were fire resistant, which had definitely come in handy just then.

Seyla had been analyzing her opponent and it seemed that her weakness was close combat. Hand to Hand most likely. If she could find a way to fight her that way she might, just might be able to win. She got an idea then, she could envelope her hands in fire! Then she would have a protective barrier that would also hurt the ice maiden. She drew herself into a stance once again, much like her starting stance and used her power to create a fire around her hands. Her opponent saw this and seemed intrigued although it didn't seem to phase her at all. She came forward ready to swing her leg around for a high kick to Seyla's head. But Seyla was smarter. She reached her hands up and caught her leg. The ice maiden definitely felt it and tried to pull herself away, but Seyla wouldn't let go. That is until she brought her other leg over to knock Seyla to the ground. She looked up into her opponent's eyes. She seemed to raise her brows and smirk as if to tease Seyla.

She had good reason too, as Seyla was slowly freezing with her opponent on top of her. Seyla had only one option now. But it would require almost every ounce of energy she had. You see Seyla still wasn't very experienced with her powers. She had only just begun to harness them about 2 weeks earlier. She hadn't yet tapped into her potential. It left her very weak in situations like these. But right now she had no choice. Her lips had already turned purple and her skin deathly pale. She closed her eyes preparing for what she was about to do. Inside of her she searched for something. A small little flicker, any hint of a flame. She had to ignite it that's what she had to do. Her body had now frozen up to her neck, pretty soon she wouldn't be able to breathe. Her eyes snapped open though, they were now blazing gold much like that of a flame. She had found it and now she was just about to ignite it. Her opponent looked at her as if confused and suddenly worried.

She had every right to be worried too. For what was once a frozen Seyla now became a raging fire. It violently crept up Seyla's opponent much like the ice had done to her and at the same time it was freeing Seyla from her frozen prison. But you see there was one minor problem with this blaze. Seyla couldn't control it! She watched in horror as her once beautiful opponent was turned to nothing but ash. The fire was now spreading; it had left her body as soon as the ice melted. But she hadn't gotten out unscathed; her own fire had left various burns all over her body. She had to stop it. This could be her downfall. Maintaining control was one of the most important principles here at Ria High. It was why they were able to practice their arts here. She had to stop it but how? She didn't know. She started to panic. The fight was definitely over now, with her opponent. But now Seyla was fighting herself.

She was standing now as she closed her eyes once more. She searched for the small flame that had started this all. It was there just where she had left it.

'Call it home...please call it home...I beg of you...call it home!' she pleaded with her mind. She fell to her knees as tears started to stain her cheeks. She would be very sick after all of this. It was a miracle she hadn't gone through shock at all. The flame hadn't ceased yet and now she was frantically calling out with her voice. Calling for the flame to cease existing for it to extinguish itself. The flame was now coming closer to her. It was going to burn her too! She took a deep breath. She had to calm down a bit. She stopped speaking, and had silenced her cries. Her flame had taken the form of a tiger now as it sat in stood ready to pounce. She cautiously brought her hand out to touch it with her fireproof gloves.

"Please...you did well...I couldn't have asked for a better display just...please go back to your flame within me" she said. Her voice was shaky, yet soft. She was trying to be gentle despite her panic. The flame responded by nuzzling itself into her hand. She sighed with relief. She had it under control now. It was now dying down slowly. The shape it had taken now disappeared. Now only Seyla remained lying on the floor. The blood from the gashes had started to flow again and shock had finally begun to set in. Her eyes closed. She won the fight, but would she die now too?

(fixed the quotations errors)

Zero

Length and Pacing: I believe you strongly have length, and the pacing is excellent. It did not take long to read because everything blended together and.. forget the monotonic voice, I thought you did very well.

Grammar: Not many issues to discuss here. You mainly missed out with apostrophe use, maybe forgot to capitalize at the beginning of a sentence once or twice, and at the end used 'see' instead of 'sea' and 'hit' instead of 'hint' at the end but otherwise just a few understandable mistakes. (commas, etc.) I liked the use of ingenious myself. 3nodding For some reason. But the one thing that confused me was, quote: "A cloud of sand is shot up 30 feet in to the air and a dust cloud forms as the sand." And it ends right there. Goes straight into the next sentence and without further ado, is missing a last part of detail.

Personality: I liked the amount of personality put in, it helped make everything very well blended. Almost in ever paragraph you had, some part of Zero was put in it too. It was well emotionalized, and I'm happy with this as well.

Use of environment: Oh, squee! This is the part I fell in love with. In the beginning, all you had to do was read it to feel a sudden breeze ripping past like you were at the seashore, a nice addition at the middle when noting the gulls stop calling, and the note of how high things were there as well. I would've like to have known what the massive tidal wave had caused damage to, however. The blood was nice touch I will admit, but there could've been a bit more detail in the part where he has in the mouth. You know, bad breath, slimy, dry, that sort of thing. But otherwise, very in detail with environment.

Details: I enjoyed the detail with this very deeply. Again, I'll start from the beginning and press on from there. The use of the word slowly used twice didn't even get monotonous for the ickle bitty details inbetween drew me in to forget about them. Ah, the bag of equipment. There weren't any detail as to the bag, but it was never used so there is some sense in that. But again, the word slowly popped up again when you described the sunrise and that's what drew my attention back to the beginning. The fifty feet craters kinda made me do a goggle eye. How big was the ion beam again? The depiction of an ant made me realize how big the leviathan was, and I was wondering.. if the leviathan was that big, would it really be reasonable for Zero to be able to touch the top of it's mouth?

Overall, I enjoyed reading this, but when a few small errors came together, they formed some problems.

6.5/8.0

Well... I can tell that it was done entirely with Microsoft Word, heh... there were no conversions. Still, I suspect that it should be pretty decent in that case.

One of you could grade her since I'm working with Taqune. You guys had simply skipped over him. crying

Taqune

Length and Pacing: Your length was fairly nice and you didn't do too bad with pacing, though what could have deterred me at times was a few of your confusing sentences. ". . . over sizing up this thing . . ." Sentences that included parts such as this. It would have been better to say "the creature" or "the tiger". Maybe even "the beast", if Taqune saw the animal in such a way. But by using "this", you've made the sentence seem a little odd, almost as if Taqune were thinking to himself, or talking instead. You had made possibly one error, when switching over to first-person in a simple, non-vocal sentence. But such will be discussed elsewhere. But I'm proud that you had attempted a much lengthier post, you did a somewhat decent job. The only part that seemed a bit strange in terms of pacing, was his travel across the room, where he appeared to travel much more swiftly that what human eyes can detect.

Grammar: There were quite a few grammar errors, but not as many notable ones, such as what I've found in a few other entries. Mainly, you had errors when it came to breaking up sentences, whether it could have been with a comma, semi-colon, etc. Also, you had missed a few apostrophes in a number of sentences. But your more noticeable problem laid with breaking up or pausing sentences. Some sentences were hard to understand, whether there was a repetition of words, or some improperly used words put into the mix. Only at times did it seem a bit hard to understand a sentence. One example: "Not invincible is you". I didn't know if you meant that as a question, and if so "is" should have been "are", and there should have been a comma after invincible. And a question mark would have come in handy as well, but it all depends upon what you had meant at that time. Also, you had used "vary" instead of "very" at one point, and that was the only improper homonym that had made itself very apparent.

Personality: I think that you were able to maintain Taqune's character pretty well, though there was a lack of thought and emotion in my opinion. I really sought a bit of thought on his part, though verbally you did rather well. Still, if he is more for speaking (thinking) aloud, instead of doing so mentally, then that is just fine. It could be how he is as a character, since I assume that he is pretty outgoing and bold. Heh, and somewhat of his own ladies' man. XD

Use of environment: I felt that there was a severe lack in this department, I don't recall much about the room, other than what had been stated in the first sentence, showing that this was an eight sided room. Also, the only other part when you had included some portion of the infrastructure is when Taqune had been slammed into the wall by the robotic tiger's paw. So maybe there could have been a bit more description of the room itself towards the beginning, and maybe the end as Taqune suddenly vanished. The judges could have been searching for him themselves, and that could have permitted a bit more description for the dome itself.

Details: Your details were pretty nice, not too bad, though some sentences were hard to understand. Though we knew that your opponent was a cybernetic tiger, there could have been description of its coat, whether it was a plain or white tiger. Some description on Taqune's part could have been nice as well, especially when stating that he transformed into his 'neko' form. The elaboration upon your attacks was pretty decent, so I have no complaints there, other than the sudden movement you had made towards the other end of the room. There could have been more detail in some areas, but for now, you did pretty well. *nods*

Thus, for your post, I give you:

4/8

So you're allowed to have the test outside? eek confused

Oh, I see. Well, that is one safe and sure method, and it's nice that you corrected the quotation mark errors. And hopefully the apostrophe ones as well. HHm... I'm not sure if anyone feels up to grading yours. Do you want your results now?


Also, Makie, you should have the test in the dome. Just change the scenery, as the room is capable of doing such. Some people just remain within a metallic room, others try to spice up things. Also, it's "allowed" not "aloud"... "aloud" is used for speaking.

If you wouldn't mind grading it, and yes I got the apostrophe's as well ^.^