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Night Of The Shadowraven Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 3:36 pm
 Yeah it been a long week without you
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 3:39 pm
TheGreatShadowraven Yeah it been a long week without you
I guess it's gunna really suck when I move in with Erika then, huh? I won't be coming to VV anymore.
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Night Of The Shadowraven Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 3:43 pm
Yeah I gues it will, execpt for Bailey is gonna start working up here, starting Monday, so I guess I'll have someone to hang around with
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 3:44 pm
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Night Of The Shadowraven Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 4:03 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 5:02 pm
I called Tommy.
It didn't cheer me up like it should have sad
I even started thinking that maybe I don't even want him anymore.
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 5:33 pm
Ive just plunged back into the idea that none of this is really real. Thanks NIN.
This 'reality', this world around me,... I created it. It's inside my head. My best friends, my enemies, the bums on the street, the women being raped, the people dying in a foreign country for a cause we can't see anymore...
all of this is my doing. It's all in my head. I created this ******** up world. I also created love. I created passion, faith, hope, selflessness, gratefulness, etc.
Yet... I'm miserable. How could someone who makes everything and can make anything happen be miserable? That's because I'm torn inside. Part of me wants to be happy, the other part wants to be miserable. Guess which side is winning? I have the ability to make myself happy, to have an amazing life, to have fun with whatever I do and persue... yet I'm not. I'm not happy. I'm torturing myself. I haven't felt the cold stainless steel cut through the first layer of skin but inside there is a demon tear me apart. You don't have to see it to know it's true.
If I keep this up, if one day I can't find anything to cheer me up and pull me out of this miserable mind set... I may stay trapped. I think there comes a point where the mind becomes too weak to fight anymore. All the mental fighting is wearing me out physically and morally. I drink too much. I eat too little. I do no physical activities yet I'm worn out constantly. It's a damn battle. Thankyou Megadeth for the perfect song for me, because there is a war inside my head, and if I took a day off I'd be dead.
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Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 5:47 pm
*hugs PFF* you have to keep trying to get out of your own head. i know that its scary taking the first step and not knowing if something is going to be there to catch you. sometimes you dont know where to take your first step. and i know its really hard. but please keep trying now because if you do end up in your head it gets ssooo hard to ge back out. but if your able to get out it gets so much easier and your so much happier. but please at least keep trying because when you stop trying you start losing the fight. *gives really big hug*
~sarah
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forever~crying~inside Crew
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Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:02 pm
This is why PFF is torn.
I don't want to have to answer to some guy anymore, cuz it seems I only am around to drive them places and buy them things...
but then again... I need emotional support or this happens sad
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 5:19 pm
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Night Of The Shadowraven Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:00 pm
Haven't figured it out yet.
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:34 pm
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Night Of The Shadowraven Vice Captain
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Night Of The Shadowraven Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:12 pm
emo At this moment there is 6, ******** 6 girls pissed at me. One called me immoral! Most aren't returning my calls, emails, messages and texts. I hate it when my freinds are mad at me.
One I've known for 7 ******** years, she's not talking to me. She was ******** eleven when I met her! AHHHH!
I really haven't done anything that would piss them off. I dont know maybe I did. God I suck with women! scream
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 7:33 am
That's okay though. Women suck. They love to ******** with your mind and then ******** you over. Hence, I shall force myself to stay single so that I don't torture some poor boy.
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:11 am
Dont really know what to say. But I want to say something. I sympathize, but I dont have any answers for anyone. Relationships are tough and they can wear you down. Ive been fighting against becoming negative and bitter. Trying to hold on to my natural optimism. Its a hard battle, especially when most people I know are very negative. neutral
So just hang in there, I guess. [/lameness]
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