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 Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 4:24 pm
Jezz blinked. She had never had to deal with death before....
She had a grandmother who died once, but she only met the woman once so it didn't really matter to her.
Seeing Renji so dejected, so beaten, it almost felt as if she wanted to fall apart with him. However she couldn't let herself do that, who would pick up the pieces of her? Without another route Jezz did the only thing she could think of. She crawled out from under the covers and over next to renji. She didn't even care how she looked or how she dressed, she just wanted him back to the annoying baka he first was. Her arms wrapped around him and she pulled him towards her, hugging him and not letting him go. She didn't even say anything. She knew how pointless it was to say something like, oh its alright, or im so sorry...it didn't do anything.
"He shouldn't have died, if he didn't do anything, didn't hurt anyone...it was unfair. It will come back. She will end up being hurt, don't worry."
Sydnie had left, left him alone, it wasn't his fault she knew, but at the moment he lost someone close to him so she told him the only thing she could truley be sure of.
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise...."
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 4:59 pm
Renji allowed Jezz to hold him. He just didn't have it in him to push her away, nor to keep up the exhausting pretense of Sydnies well being. he couldn't help seeing Sydnie as he last saw him-- not at the asseblie, but a few days previous--- smiling, his game system in hand, telling him to go after Jezz, if she was what he wanted. It almost felt like ages ago. Renji couldn't swallow around the painful know that had formed in his throat.
See ya later, kobito...
With a sob Renji clutched at Jezz, not even realizing what he'd done. He shook, and took deep breath, trying to get himself under control, but it was so very hard. At jezz's last words he froze, though. He lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her, one shiny, red rimmed eye visible behind the rumpled hair.
"Don't...." He shook his head. "Don't make promises you can't keep. "
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 5:10 pm
Jezz comforted him, her arms tight around him. She didn't want to let go. She pulled her head back just enough to see his eye, their face so close. She brought up one of the hands holding him and held it to the die of his face, brushing back the dark locks
"You can't tell me what I can and can't do baka, I thought you knew that" she smiled softly "I am not going anywhere and I mean it. I will not let anyone kill me, I haven't finished living yet. Yes I know I am not the one holding the controller, but I am not going to let her kill me, I will find a way"
She paused realizing that she was a few inches from his face, hand on his cheek and staring into his eyes, bodies close together. She cleared her throat immediatly and pulled her hand back, her body inching back just enough to put space between them.
"Arigato" she mumbled unsure of what else to say.
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 6:04 pm
Renji had acted quickly, before she could get too far away, put too much distance betwen them..Syd had said...Syd had told him to fight for her. It was the last thing he'd told him....He suddenly lunged forward, toppling the girl backward on her bed. He kissed her, his tears falling from his cheeks to hers, and he raised a hand to her cheek. She was solid, right there, not a memory as his friend was now forced to be. He had to grab hold of her before the oppurtunty was lost to him forever.
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 6:16 pm
Jezz's eyes widened to an almost impossible width as suddenly Renji lunged at her. She fell backwards with a cry before it was muffled by Renji's mouth.
"Wejwhaouwha..." She gave up the losing battle.
She could feel his tears against her cheeks, she could feel his hand, she looked up at him, into his eyes as she kissed him back, letting him get it all out, and letting herself get it out, before she had to say something. She pushed a finger against his lips pausing his kiss, she didn't pull back far, not even an inch.
Staring into his eyes she searched them.
"Ren-chan" she whispered, her hand sliding from his lips to his cheek wiping away the tears. "I want to help...I want to make you feel better...but...is that all this is? Do you just need...comfort?"
She asked the question she was dreading. Part of her was dreading the fact he was only there for one thing, for comfort sex. It wasn't unheard of. The other part of her was hoping hed repeat the same stuff he said last night. If he really did....she didn't even want to think about it, with the chance at losing it. She was so mixed up, just like him, except in a completly different way. She pushed more tears away and studied his eyes waiting for a reply
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 6:57 pm
Renji blinked as Jezz stroked away his tears that wouldn't seem to stop, and it took a moment for her words to penetrate.
Itt was so close to what Sydniw had said to him, when he asked why they had finally hooked up, and the boy closed his eyes as fresh pain crossed his features. Even after he had admitted to it, Sydnie hadn't been mad at all. He just smiled and kissed him on the cheek, then listened while he whined. He really was a great guy...
But this wasn't anything like when he had gone off with Sydnie. He wanted to be with Jezz, he guess he had since he'd first laid eyes on her when she'd stumbled out of Admissions. He didn't know why, and quite frankly the intensity of it all scared him a bit. Renji was never one to run from what scared him, however.
"Just.... Iie, Jezz...it's nothing like that at all. I... I don't know what it is... I need you, Jezz. But not just now...I wanna be with you. I don't want to go anywhere else, and I don't want you to be with anyone else either. Not Sato, not that Yuusuke kid...I want you to be with me. Why, Jezz? Why don't you believe me?"
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 7:07 pm
Jezz smiled softly up at him. It was what she wanted to hear, and he even added on more, about not wanting to see her with anyone else. She remembered what Cyn had said. Brushing her fingers more against his cheeks she finally gave in.
"Gomen.....I...I was hurt once....i haven't trusted people since...but....I believe you....I do...finally....I do" she pulled him down and pressed her lips to his. As much as she hated the mushy touchy feely romantic stuff, she couldn't help herself from feeling the odd weight that was lifted off her chest as she kissed him, hands almost glued to the sides of his face
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 7:24 pm
As Jezz pulled him down to kiss him again, Renji almost couldn't believe it. Now? She finally believed him now? Had he finally knocked down that wall she kept around her, or just made a temporary entrance? Either way, he couldn't just stand there staring waiting for the wall to be rebuilt and he miss the chance presented him.
As he kissed her, sex was the last thing from his mind, and that was saying quite a bit. One didn't acquire the nickname Manwhore by joining book clubs, that's for damn sure. No, Renji was just happy for the moment of peace, no matter how fleeting it may or may not turn out to be.
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 7:34 pm
Jezz slid her hands down Renji's neck as she kissed him, her tongue slipping into his mouth. She didn't know if it was seeing him almost defeated, or the talk with cyn, it could even be the fact that he just wouldn't give up, but she finally let him in, and hell he wasnt taking any chances.
She felt so horrible, he was so sad and she had caused extra frustration ontop of that. If she could kiss him until he forgot she would, and at the moment it seemed that was exactly what she was doing, because she never gave the kiss a chance to stop. But it didn't seem like Renji minded at all.
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 8:30 pm
He didn't want to think. As he kissed Jezz, he didn't want to think about how long this would last, or if she would be mad or change her mind later. For now, everything was perfect...well as perfect as present circumstances would permit. He just wanted to hold her and prentend that the world ended outside her door. Forget the rules, and colors and other students....just...exist. Was that really so much to ask?
He pulled away slightly to look dow at Jezz, his eyes exploring hers searchingly. He wanted to ask her if she meant it, if she was sure, but he didn't want to jinx things. His hand slid along her shoulder, down her arm, along her hip then came to an abrupt stop. His hand pat around the area for a moment, disbelieving atfisrt, and as his eyes grew wide his cheeks grew red.
"Jezz...er... I..." His hand pat curiously at her hips once more, then slid an inch or two slower. She wasn't wearing pants! Why hadn't she said anything?
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 8:37 pm
Jezz didn't want him to pull away, she wanted to keep kissing him, to feel his lips against her own. But Renji needed the most now, and she stared back at him hoping he could see how she really did feel in her eyes.
His hands slid down her body, and goosebumps were left in their trail, she kept her eyes locked on his as his hands moved, it seemed oddly intimate.
She had long ago accepted the fact she wasnt wearing pants, but apparently, as Renji's hand seemed to feel around, for the first time he noticed. She bit her lip and a sheepish look came over her face.
"Well what? I was sleeping! You came in and...what was i sposed to do find a pair of pants under my sheet?" a very slight slight blush came to her cheeks, it could have been even mistaken for normal coloring. She hadn't been shy before, but now renji was making her self concious. "And geeze Motoki, your hands are cold, before you go groping me again think you could warm them up or something?" and again she was resorting to sarcasm to hide her embarasment
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 9:26 pm
The teenaged boy chuckled, despite himself. It sounded weird to his ears, to be laughing the way he felt. But Jezz had that effect on him, it seemed; made him feel and do things he didn't want to. He drew back his hands and rolled off of Jezz with a grin.
"heh, sorry about that," he murmered as he rubbed his hands vigorously together. When it felt like his palms were burning he place a hand to Jezz's face, gently cupping her cheek.
"Better?"
As he favored her with a slight grin he tossed his head, shaking his shock of dark hair from out of his eyes. He didn't look like his old self, not at all, but he definitely looked better than he had when he'd first entered Jezz's bedroom.
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 9:37 pm
Jezz shifted over to give Renji some room. When the heated palm gently lay against her cheek she smiled and held his hand to her face.
"Much"
She watched him shake his hair out of the way, and just watched him in general. She lay there and didn't let go of his hand. She still felt under the weather, but she was feeling much better than she did when she first woke up. Curling closer towards him she never removed her gaze. Once she allowed herself, she could really like him....it kinda scared her how much she wanted to pull him close and nveer let go....she just met the guy and already she wanted him to stay with her.
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 9:49 pm
"Good." He smirked slightly, remembering his words from last night. "As long as your obliged. Because that's all that matters, obliging you, ne, Jezz?" It had none of the heat or bitterness that practiclly dripped from the words the last time they were uttered. Instead they came out soft, tender, if slightly raspy from half-supressed distress.
He leaned forward, sealing his mouth to the girl's , and the hand at her cheek slowly slid lower to brush against the curve of her neck. He ran the side of his thumb along the soft, smooth skin as his tongue brushed against her lips, seeking admittance. That was one thing he'd always liked without question, kissing Jezz. Even when he was mad at her, it was great. As it so hapened, he wasn't mad at her, which made it all the better.
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 9:56 pm
Jezz felt a slight sting from the memory of last night, though it quickly evaporated as the heat from the words wasn't burning her, just warming her with love.
Leaning close to him still her lips moved softly against his. His hand against her neck, thumb lightly stroking her throat, a soft purr like sound came from her throat in response. As soon as Renji's tongue slid against her lips, she opened her mouth and her tongue met with his. She had kissed many guys, but Renji some how brought kissing to another level. He was so focused on her, on the moment, as if nothing else mattered while it was just them. Sucking gently on his bottom lip and slipping her tongue against his lips again her palm lay against his chest, softly moving up the curve of his neck and to the top of his spine, where her fingers slowly tangeled themselves in the thick dark hair that always was as unruly as its owner. She smiled against the kiss at that thought, fingers still digging deeper wanting to grasp as much of his hair as she could.
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