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| How did you meet your spouse/partner/other... |
| I do not have a spouse/partner/other... |
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37% |
[ 48 ] |
| Arranged by another person.. ie: blind date, set up by family/friend |
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5% |
[ 7 ] |
| found in the personals online/newspaper/magazine... |
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9% |
[ 12 ] |
| high school sweetie/friend |
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9% |
[ 12 ] |
| bumped into the person in a supermarket/mall/park/etc... |
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5% |
[ 7 ] |
| Other... would love to hear about it |
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32% |
[ 41 ] |
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| Total Votes : 127 |
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 Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:37 pm
Harbone Thanks for answering, fatalbeauty, I realize it's a sensitive issue. Not many men are all that great at a long-distance relationship. It's tough. I hope you realize it's his failing and not your own. PS. I hope when you say "cheated" you actually mean "had an affair" and not "had dinner alone with another girl" or "bought some porn." This is mostly for my own sake, who has committed both acts, in the most innocent of fashion that such acts can be committed, while my wife, Umberella, has been away. I understand it's his problem, he just couldn't stand the distance anymore suddenly a few months ago then I found out he was courting some other girl...I yelled at him, he claimed he ended it then I found a pic in one of his guilds of him and her with the caption of me and my gf so I dumped him then and there....
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Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 1:15 pm
OUch, that sucks, you are better off without him.
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 6:37 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 7:49 pm
You can do much better heart
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Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 1:43 pm
Yeah. That's pretty weaselly of the guy.
And stupid, now that I think of it.
Thanks for sharing the details.
I know I harp on this a lot, but I think life has more to offer when we take advantage of our loneliness. For instance, while Umberella's been away, I've done a lot more volunteering for the causes I beleive in, which, although I'm not all that great a volunteer, has made me feel like less of a luftmensch and a lot more solid. (Even though all I really do is type and knock on doors.)
There's always so much that needs to be done in any cause you may happen to support and it all sucks, right down to the bone. But, if you can get out and do it, your loneliness sort of fades into the background for a while. And, hey, maybe the world's a better place for it on top of all that!
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Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:40 pm
I know I'll be better off in the long run, just wish I had someone now.....damn loneliness.....yar......
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Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:10 pm
You are young, you have plenty of time for the right one to come along.
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Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 11:10 pm
Lil-Jo You are young, you have plenty of time for the right one to come along. yeah I know, it's just that since I had to dump him for it all, I've been lonely as all hell is what I meant, I guess in a way, I want to find someone else to love again.....
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 8:29 pm
Well, now might be a good time to try loving everyone in general. I don't mean promiscuity, I mean just trying to spread a little extra care that you normally would have invested in one place.
You probably have lots of activities that you engage in already, I know. But, really, I think we all really way too much about being in love.
I figure love will get you anyway, whether you want to or not, and it'll screw up every damn little thing in your life when it comes along. So, until then, you might as well get out there and... well, do what you think is right. When you fall in love again, I guarantee you're gonna have to start making some ugly sacrifices. Think of this time period as a great chance to take charge of your life without anyone to tell you you're wrong.
Fix your broken heart with the duct tape of wild times and great deeds. Or, at least, great times and wild deeds. Honestly, no time like the present, fatal!
(PS. This is the male way of sympathizing. I was just reading this book that says male and female culture sometimes grinds to a halt because men are taught that we are worthless without practical contributions and women are taught that they are worthless without being able to sympathize. I didn't buy everything in it, but I think what it boils down to is that I must add the following disclaimer.)
I AM NOT TRYING TO CONTROL ANYBODY. THESE ARE MERELY THINGS I WISH I'D DONE THE LAST TIME I WAS LONELY. TAKE THEM OR DISCARD THEM AND I WILL NOT BE OFFENDED UNLESS YOU TELL ME I'M WORTHLESS. Thanks!
(That was meant to be funny, but I still feel a little odd about it.)
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 6:32 pm
I've been taking time off to let my heart heal, it's just weird being alone again I guess...I see my ex with the girl he cheated on me with and go why can't I have someone? he cheated and he gets to be happy while I don't....doesn't seem at all fair in the grand scheme of things, the one who was loyal and loving is alone while the cheater is having fun with someone new....
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:38 pm
He may seem to be having fun now, but likely he'll cheat on her, too. My dad used to tell me what goes around comes around, but I never get too see it come around to the ones who really deserve a good smack upside the noodle.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 9:52 pm
Yeah. What Lil Brat said. And, further more, it doesn't do any good to see love as some kind of reward or punishment. It's just a set of hard decisions you have to make.
Seriously, you're better off without attachments for now. I had no idea I had it so good when I was 10 years younger (your age.) Now's the perfect time to take some risks - and you've got the perfect excuse, too!
Think of the romance of it all! Here you are, broken hearted, loyal, maybe feeling a bit of a stick-in-the-mud, but what inner fire drives you onward, Fatal? What strange new passions have you found in your own breast? What grand experiences are you free to pursue now that the cad who cast you so cravenly aside has shown his true colors?
So what if you feel a little timorous, a little broken. Everybody feels that way most of the time. Look at me, I'm pissing my pants about losing a job that I can't even afford to keep! No - I'm gonna go find work and make it work, even if I have to pretend I'm competent! (Well, I usually do, in point of fact.)
Take action - cheap action, expensive action, exotic action, social action, romantic action - whatever seems in your grasp ... or even just a little outside it. Through those bold new steps, others will see you in a more fantastic light. Do something different - maybe even something a little stupid.
Then come back here and tell us all the juicy details!
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 11:49 pm
3nodding What Lil Brat and Harbone said... xd
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Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 10:44 am
I met my Hubby on Friendfinder.com
I was really kind of just searching through the profiles, laughing at what men would write, (I was married at the time and in the middle of a not-so-nice-divorce *as if any are nice* and still having to LIVE with my soon-to-be-EX.) I wasn't looking for anyone, but his profile just popped out at me as something completely different than anyone else's. I wrote to him and told him that I appreciated reading his profile and that it sounded like he really knew what he was looking for and that he sounded honest.
We started chatting back and forth for a few months (in the meantime my divorce became final) and I went back to my hometown area to see a sick relative, my Hubby happened to live in the same town so we hooked up. I ended up moving myself and my kids back to this side of the state and we continued the relationship. It will be our 3rd anniversary in October. I love him very much. He is a special person and the most giving person I have ever met. He has taken on the responsibility of helping to raise my kids (my EX is refusing to pay child support and currently owes over $5,000) I have been looking for a job, but have been unsuccessful as of yet. *sigh*
He tells me everyday that he loves me. And when I see him light up when he sees our two year old when he gets home from work, it just takes my breath away. =)
I wouldn't want anyone else in my life. Even though we've had a few little ups and downs, they are nothing compared to the fights my EX and I got into. (He was/is an abuser)
Sometimes we get on each other's nerves, which is normal. (I'm messy, he's a clean freak) But we know where we stand with one another. And we are honest with each other.
We COMMUNICATE and that is SO important.
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Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 1:36 pm
Congratulations - and thank you, Sisu, that's an inspiring story smile
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