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 Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 11:24 am
Gandalf is Jesus
Chel had since grown fidgety and gotten Jack a glass of water, and herself one of the popcorn balls. Now she was laying with her head in Jack's lap, facing the screen and trying not to move too much lest she disturb Jack as she chewed on sticky popcorn.
"The real badass of this movie," Chel cheered as Gandalf appeared once more, this time in a blur of white light. "S'not too bright is it?"Quote: After being informed by Éomer of his ambush against the Uruk-hai, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli finds Merry and Pippin's trail. The trio are confronted by Gandalf, reborn as Gandalf the White after dying in battle. Gandalf joins with the trio as they journey to Edoras.
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 11:38 am
Treefriend
Jack was dutifully quiet until the scene changed, at which point he said, "So tree ******** runs in the family, got it."
He tilted his head as if that somehow better helped him listen, and then went on, "G-man says, and I quote: 'What a marvelous union of human and Halloween! I feel as if I could reach out and touch him myself.' It's CGI, retard." But it was affectionate. "Aaaand a bunch of other stuff about their completely wooden skin and the manner of their language and posture I don't feel like repeating. But he does want me to pass along the hope that he's still your favorite."
Trees within trees, Owain added with a content hum as each branch of his veins tingled pleasantly.
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 11:48 am
Gandalf is Jesus
"Nah, s'okay." He merely squinted a little until the light died down and blinked a few times. "Knew they wouldn't kill that guy off," he stated, as if he wasn't looking so obviously pleased about it. "If he was Jesus I'd totally convert. I mean, wizard Jesus with eagle friends? ******** yeah."
To celebrate, he leaned over to grab some of the popcorn for himself.
"So I bet he's going to be the Deus ex Machina for the rest of the series, huh?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 12:29 pm
Treefriend
Chel snickered at the ******** comment. She'd have to use that one on Chris sometime.
"Of course he's my favorite. It's all been a plot to get to him." To which she affectionately put her nose into the crook of his neck as she continued, "Well there's much cooler tree ent parts so tell him to hold his ********' horses."
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 12:46 pm
Gandalf is Jesus
"Yeah totally. I thought they'd save it for the next movie at least, but nah they couldn't even wait that long." She grinned and said, "Didn't know you were religious in the first place."
She pulled the popcorn ball a little closer. No mine.
"Kinda. He's sorta like one big babysitter."
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 12:54 pm
Treefriend
"Fine," he fake complained as he squished her face down with his head. (Affectionately?) "I'll leave you and his golem a** alone on New Years while I have Barbara all to myself, you ********' whore."
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 1:03 pm
Gandalf is Jesus
"Of course I am," he replied with a little grin. "Greek god, remember? I worship myself."
Deciding to play dirty, Jack attempted to initiate an awkward semi-upside down kiss to distract her as he reached for the popcorn ball anyway.
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 1:37 pm
Treefriend
"You know Jack, orgies are a wonderful thing."
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Gandalf is Jesus
If Jack worshiped himself, Chel worshiped the fact that he kissed her now. Even awkwardly and semi-upside down.
Once settled and with less popcorn, Chel said, "I think I'd rather just be with Thor and pagan s**t. If there is a god I don't think he likes me much anyways." She'd certainly never been very lucky with fate anyways. "Maybe one of those d**k-centered religions. That'd be rad."
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 2:02 pm
Treefriend
"Not when they involve fragile monster golems and a guitar."
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 2:07 pm
Gandalf is Jesus
Terribly pleased with himself, he sat back against the Foch and enjoyed his prize. "In some capacity they existed," he noted between crunches. "If not as gods then as extremely powerful beings. There are artifacts after all, they had to come from somewhere."
He arched his brow down at her. "Are there really d**k-centered religions, or are you just talking s**t again?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 2:23 pm
Gandalf is Jesus
"Oh my god." Chel all but jerked up and pulled her phone out of her pocket, googling pictures of a certain festival. "I don't even remember the story behind it, but they have a huge sausagefest there every year."
It had always been one of the things on Chel's bucket list, sadly enough. She thought it was ******** hilarious. "That s**t's golden oh my god."
< You are not focused on the movie. >
"Oh shut up Tensy." Chel was always most comfortable talking out loud to her weapon in her room, and Jack seemed to be allowed in that fold. "d**k festivals are waaaay more important than this s**t."
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 2:41 pm
Everyone Dies
"Rest in piece, blue eyes," Chel said, raising the beer bottle she'd gotten from the fridge before going back to sipping on it.
She normally didn't like too much alcohol, but one bottle wasn't going to kill her and it was Christmas. She didn't intend to get drunk though. She wanted to remember today. She remembered the first "death by cliff" scene and put her chin on Jack's shoulder. "He's definitely not comin' back from the dead neither." Of course he wasn't. Duh. "He's on the cover of the third movie, but nah."
Quote: Meanwhile, Gollum struggles with his loyalty to Frodo and his desire for the Ring. Samwise and Frodo are captured by Rangers of Ithilien. As Théoden's forces travel to Helm's Deep, they are attacked by Saruman's Warg riders and Aragorn is thrown from a cliff and believed to be dead.
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 3:13 pm
Gandalf is Jesus
"Holy s**t."
Jack guffawed and covered his mouth as he laughed.
"That's awesome. Maybe if we're not busy dying in April the whole group could go." Because what was a d**k festival without a group of dicks?
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 3:18 pm
Everyone Dies
Jack snorted as he drank his beer as well. The taste made him miss Mario Kart.
"Right. I bet he pulls off another Jesus magic thing," he said. "Literally nobody seems to die except...Sean Bean, right? Damn shame. There better be a massacre in the third film." Another sip. "Also, bigass hyena mounts are badass."
Not one mention was made about falling off a cliff.
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