Welcome to Gaia! ::

Zah was staying over again! Yashi was quite pleased. Having his best friend around so often made the fox cheerful and less prone to his temper tantrums or lashing out in anger as he often had. His bed had room enough to do so when either of them were feeling too alone in the world, they could cling. yashi didn't like to. He didn't like being weak.

Patrick didn't mind, either. It was just another mouth to feed and someone to talk to while ignoring Mordread. The kids enjoyed the quiet drow (though none but Kat had tried to eat his hair) but they were nice, knowing he was Yashis Friend. Don't mess with Yashi - he would claw at you. He was learning how to shift, after all.

"Zah?" That was Patrick, as he opened the door to let Zah right back in. "You know, you can just leave clothes here. We'll wash them. We do that occasionally."

"Shut up, tousan." Patricks voice was harsh, pushing his way to the door, through his siblings, t get to his friend. "C'mon, Zah."

It had been raining by the time Zasalamel got to Yashima's house, and since his jacket didn't have a hood, there was one mighty wet-haired Drow standing on the front doorstep. Not to mention the rest of his clothes. Oh, the things he did to escape that house of memories!

"Echk." He said simply, once he was allowed inside. "Eet es ohkey, cahn cleen clohthengs aht hohm." The Drow gave the black man something that could barely pass as a smile. He shifted his backpack on his shoulder, blinking and pushing his wet bangs from his face before his friend whisked him away.

"Cumeng~" He repeated, taking off his shoes at the doorway before stepping up to follow the fox through the mass of kids that had apparently come to see him at the door.
"But they're wet-- Yashi!" Patricks foot stamped like a frustrated parents sometime did, grabbing at his son only to be bogged down by children demanding his attention and the sight of Iamel, wearing nothing but a thin shirt out in the chill, working on his little House. Ugh.

Yashima waited for Zah to catch up before grabbing his hand. "You should get dry, Zah." A critical eye was put to the others wet hair and clothing and his nose wrinkled, just a wee bit. "I'll go get a towel, okay? If you don't have dry stuff in your bag... I think my clothes fit you. Kind of."

And he was off, grabbing towels and letting Zah get to his room in peace. The drow had been here enough to know where things were.

"Good thing I hadn't wanted you to be a GIRL," He could hear his Tousan say - to him, probably, "Otherwise your PMS would be hell, Yashi!." Yep. To him. Yashis ears laid back briefly as he grabbed at some towels. "Just as pretty though."

"Shut up, Tousan." He snapped out in return, hugging the towels to his chest. He was ALWAYS a boy. He couldn't be a girl. They were yucky. Instead, he fled to his room, socks padding quietly on the floor. "Zah?"

"Es ohkey, goht noht weht clohthengs en pac." Zasalamel said quietly before he disappeared into the house with Yashima.

"Ohkey, Ahhshe~" The tall boy said absently, pulling lightly ona thick bunch of wet hair. He let out a breath of a laugh at the thought of him having to wear Yashima's clothes...part of him wanted to try it, to see how tight they'd be on him. "Bee en room."

They went their seperate ways, and by the time Yashima had made it back to his room, Zasalamel was nearly done changing. Apparently he never wasted time! "Siyo?" He replied to the fox rather absently, just tying the string of the sweatpants he'd brought as pajamas, so far shirtless. His wet shirt was slung over his bare shoulder and the dry one was on Yashima's bed, while the rest of his previously worn attire was shoved into the bag, out of sight for now.

"Just making sure you were here." The tongue he stuck out at the drow probably went unnoticed. The towel was unfolded in record time as Yashima went over to his friend, fingers moving to hoist a thick fold of hair experimentally. It was heavier then his.

Either way, it was going to get dry. "How long had it been raining?" He queried as his hands - and the towel - went to Zasalamels hair to dry the locks slowly. The kitsune knew his friend liked people brushing or playing with his hair. Drying wouldn't be any different, would it?

His fathers words niggled at him. He wouldn't be a pretty girl. Or a girl at all. he changed faces and hands and eyes - not genders. Stupid Otousan.

Oh, he noticed. And He promptly returned it too. As hermit-like as he'd become, he somehow wasn't above childish games like sticking his tongue out at people. Smirking softly, he shoved his wet shirt into his backpack as well. He didn't get the chance to pick up his dry shirt though...Yashima had started to dry his hair.

So, naturally, the tall boy was obediantly still. He liked this!

"Mmm...Wahs rayneng wen lehft howse?" He offered slowly with a slight shrug. He didn't know how long before that it had been raining. "Ah...Thenks." He murmured softly, leaning his head a little to make Yashima's job easier. Though, in all honesty, his head moved because it felt good first....then for Yashi.

"Es sumtheng noht gud, Ahhshe?" Zah asked quietly. He'd gotten pretty good at knowing when something was bothering someone...especially Yashima. The fox and drow had spent a lot of time together lately, hadn't they?

It was good to act as a child did and spoke as a child spoke at times. they didn't look any older then twelve. Even that could be a stretch, for some. Yashis fingers moved against that tilted scalp, drying from root to tip, making sure his friend wouldn't catch cold.

He hadn't read of a drow with a cold but one could never be sure. His friends question caught Yashi off gaurd, fingers pausing and golden eyes slanting up towards him. The fox was hesitant, shoulders rising up and down into a shrug.

There had been a lot of time spent between them. Where Iamel had previously been close to Iamel, Zah was filling that void with his constant presence, the fun they had just being friends. He trusted the drow more then he did his own gaurdian really. So, when the fox spoke, he spoke truthfully.

"Tousan insinuated that I'm a boy because he wanted me to be. That I could've been a girl." Patrick didn't know he was telling the truth.

Zasalamel turned around then, to face Yashima. Of course, the Drow gave his friend a strange look. "Sownds sillee." He huffed, shaking his head. "Ilhar..." He stopped short, wrinkling up his nose and looking away. After a moment, he continued. "Ilhar wahnt me tu bee feemayel, ahm noht feemayel." He stopped talking mainly to clear his throat, but also to paw away some water that had dripped onto his chin. Neveah had told him that once...but then again, she'd been heavily into pain medication then...but of course he still believed her!

"Ahhshee es mayel noht frum weesh of Ilharn." He concluded truthfully, reaching out to pat his shorter friend. "Eef Ahhshee noht mayel tho, wud Ahhshee noht lyke mayel?" He mused absently, tapping his chin a bit. As it stood he was a boy and didn't like girls, so by contrast...if he'd been a girl, would he had disliked boys? Somehow, Zasalamel found this somewhat amusing to consider.

That water was also patted away, briefly, by a towel. Zah was speaking of his Illhar, which was something yashi didn't want to interupt, but a beard of water was never good, of course.

"I like SOME girls," He defended quietly, nose wrinkling up in distaste. "Makana and Kishi isn't... so... bad. It's just...they're all.. thinking they know what's going on and telling me what to do. Kay. I hate, HATE girls like Kay." The last sentance was said with some vehlmance to it as was his next.

"And I would always like Zah."

Zasalamel listened to Yashima now, smiling softly to himself at the way his friend defended himself. It was cute, in a way! When he was finished, he found himself with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Es gud...Ahm hahpee Ahhshe wud steel lyke." He really did sound happy about that though...and a moment after he said it, his ears lowered a little. "...Myte steel bee 'frayd uf Ahhshee tho, ef Ahhshee feemayel." Girls were scary to him, but he couldn't quite figure out why. After thinking on it for a moment, he seemed to cheer up...then he took hold of the towel and just let it drape over his head.

"Nah, ef Ahhshee feemayel, wud lyke Ahhshe steel. Ahhshee bee lyke Keyshee es." To him, anyway....a girl be could consider one of the guys. "Thenks fourh taykeng weht frum hayir!" He chimed then, rubbing the towel unceremoniously over his own head.

"You should be afraid of me anyway," Yashi interjected, grinning a little wider then before, "I'm fierce! Rawr!" One hand dropped its corner of the towel to let Zah rub at his own hair, but they also moved into little mock claws. He flexed a bit before shrugging, lips twitching once more.

"Why do you like Kishi anyway? I mean." He paused, nose wrinkling. The fox didn't dislike the bat-girl. She was just...dominant. She put him on the edge, "She's not loud or mean or anyhing but... I don't know." Hands fell in his frutstration to communicate, head shaking a little. Zah recieved a light poke on the forehead.

"She's your friend, so that makes her okay. I've tried to be nicer."

Zasalamel chuckled at his friend, shaking his head. Of course, he paused for a moment to feign being afraid...and like that moment of fear, his moment of laughter faded, too. As fun as Yashima was, he just couldn't laugh so carefree anymore. When his friend flexed though, the Drow reached out and poked his stomach.

"Keyshee...Du noht no." He shrugged a bit, taking the towel off of his now overly messy hair, twisting it between his hands. "Jus...du noht see Keyshee ahs feemayel." He really couldn't explain it very well...but he stared down at the towel, trying to figure out a way to word it, in english. "Keyshee...fyte weth, wehn beybee. Fyte seence, Siyo...goht yused tu Keyshee." That was the closest he could get it, and he showed it with a little sigh.

"Thenkeng youh, Ahhshee...meen muhch." Reaching out, the Drow gave Yashima a hug.

The hug caught Yashima off gaurd. He wasn't used to hugging. Not many people hugged him outside of their mothers dying or his tousan sobbing for unknown reason. Not many wanted to. But his feet shuffled slightly, moving in to hug the other back in response to him.

"S'okay. Girls are strange," He murmured, fingers moving to mess with the mostly-damp strands of white hair his friend possesed. "We can pretend to understand them, yeah?"

Hey, sounded good to him! But now HIS shirt was wet. The fox wrinkled his nose and, after alittle scritch ti his friends scalp, he leaned back. Zasalamel was offered a little smile as Yashima ducked over to his dresser. At least if he was a girl, Zah would still like him. He liked that. But how would a girl him LOOK? People said he looked like a girl anyway... it wouldn't be much of a jump.

The fox stripped off his yukata, wearing only the thin draw-pants his father made him, the thoughts of 'what would I look like?' dancing in his head as he felt his body...shift. Suddenly there was fat on his body and it was being deposited in places it only would on a twelve year old female... his face morphed, becoming rounder, with cheeks and lips. Yashimas head jerked up to stare in the small mirror near his dresser, eyes (now thickly lashed and darker) widening roughly.

Girl. Girl. He was only around twelve but girls that age... Oh, goddess and gods. Yashima screamed.

"Siyo, gud eydea." Zasalamel nodded in agreement, amusement in his purple eyes. Yes, pretending to understand girls was a good idea, though it might get him into big trouble at one point. Oh well. Cross bridges when you come to them, right?

Zasalamel then moved the towel down to dry off his partially damp chest - he'd been shirtless for a while now, but he'd put his wet shirt away not too long ago...that left him still pretty damp. The Drow was all set to throw the towel in the laundry basket when his friend screamed.

Instantly, the Drow moved towards the fox, the towel forgotten on the floor near Yashi's bed. "Waht es rong?!" He partially cried out. Yashima sounded like the end of the world was approaching!

It was! Oh, gods, it WAS ending! He had fat and he had...had THOSE and - his hand jerked down to grab his crotch - and he LACKED that. Oh GODS it was all ending! The little fox twisted around, eyes still wide and his mouth - her mouth - ajar.

Yashimas breath was coming in short, panicked breathes and once Zah was close, the fox launched his/herself at him, latching on with a shriek. "OH GODS! This is how they punish me for being an a**! I just - I just SHIFTED, Zah! I'm.. ******** the hell? What was Yashi DOING?! Zah looked at him as if he were going crazy, his purple eyes trying to figure out what was wrong. It didn't take him long to realize what it was of course, and by the time he'd figured it out, Yashima had already pounced on him, screaming out words that the Drow barely registered. Out of instinct, Zah caught Yashima, his dark hands resting against Yashima's back to prevent either of them from tumbling....but other than that, the Drow had frozen.

'Feemayel." He finished weakly, his angled eyes wide in surprise and horror. What the HELL should he do now?! His best friend had turned into a girl, and was clinging to him! If he'd have been older, he might have been surprised for an entirely different reason.

"We were just TALKING about it and I wondered ho-how I would look as a G-GIRL," Yashi was close to tears, arms wrapped still tight against his friend. No letting Zah go. None. Despite the fact that he was shirtless and clutching onto a type of humanoid that feared females by default, he wasn't letting go.

"What do I DO?!"

Yashis voice, now feminine in sound, rang out again, ears laid back on his skull. That's when Patricks loud feet sounded and the door swung open. "What happened?!"

Yashi was still talking, but Zah was only half listening. A girl. His friend was a girl. His friend had turned into a girl! This didn't make any sense! This defied...EVERYTHING! But wait. Wait. Girl or not, this was Yashima. Yashima, a friend. Yashima, who he'd known since before he was even a baby on Gaia. The fox who helped him through, well...everything. Okay, relax. calm down. It was Yashima! Nobody but Yashima. Yashima with a somewhat higher voice and a strange way of packing away extra weight, but Yashima none the less.

"...Uh. Du...Du noht no!" He offered uselessly, hesitantly patting Yashima on the back. He had to do this, he had to comfort his friend, regardless of his newfound gender! "Weesh seylf bahk?" He said after a moment, though by that time, Patrick had appeared in the doorway.

"Ahhshee es....es..." He stammered, looking caught between surprised, scared, and worried.

Good advice. The fox squeezed his eyes shut, shouldering himself closer to the taller Drow as he tried and he tried to wish himself, think himself, WILL himself back into his male body. Nothing shifted. Nothing moved. When his father stormed in, the fox didn't react except to wrap his tail around Zahs thigh. No letter go.

Patrick, despite his glasses, wasn't blind. The extra parts made his eyes go wide as well, jerking upright. "A GIRL? Yashi, I was joking about the girl thing! Stop fooling around."

"SHUT UP!"

Zasalamel winced at the shriek from the fox...he was so very close to this new girl body of Yashima's...so very close. "Uhm...Uhm...K'lar natha jas pholor...?" Now, he'd lapsed into his native tongue again, from the shock alone. Still, he pat the Fox's back hesitantly, clearly forcing himself to just brush this incident off. Which was hard, considering the changes were as obvious as a slap to the face.

"Xal alu rath ulu jaluk p'luin v'dri...?" The tall kid suggested, still unaware he wasn't speaking common. It seemed like a good idea to him!

The drow language didn't put the fox on edge, as it should put one. It soothed the little fox and he shook his head, nuzzling hard against his shoulder. Zahs body was tight with tension, unmoving against Yashis own He didn't like it. Yashima knew it - Zah hated this body too, just as much.

"Naut kampi'un." He stumbled out in the akward amount of the Undercommon he knew. There wasn't much to his vocabulary yet but...he was trying. Hiccuping a little and..well, Zahs shoulder was getting wet. Tears.

Zasalamel didn't hate it...he was unsure of how to react was all. Not every day your best male friend turned into a female, then clung onto you for dear life. He was startled when he heard a language he knew well, repeated back to him. Of course, it sounded like his english would sound to everyone else...but he understood it, and it made him realize he wasn't speaking english.

"Uhm...Clohteengs, shurt...meybee shurt ohn bee behtur." He chewed on the inside of his lip, glancing at his shoulder once he realized it was damp. "Ah...Meybee et gohs 'wey affer...en mornen?" He was trying to relax, really he was.

[Still in Japanese. Who needs English?]

I am killing to him. Malum is going to die. I don't care if there has been too much death in these days and if my father would be upset. I am upset right now!

As if Neveah dying wasn't bad enough. As if Zah getting depressed and being so upset wasn't horrible. As if me turning INTO A GIRL wasn't enough to make me want to shatter the reflection of the world.

Malum. Kissed. Me.

I don't get him. I don't particularily like him, either. His mood changes quickly - too quickly - and his smile makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. He grabs at my wrist and says things you only hear from serial killers case files.

"I can touch you whenever I please, Yashima."

Uuuuuuuugh. Make me SHUDDER. He said my full name - NO ONE uses my full name. Yashi. YAAAAAAASHI. Blaaaagh.

At least Zah is staying over a lot even though I'm...a female. It weirded us both out (I was screaming and clutching onto him half-naked) but I'm wearing clothes all the time and he still lets me cling. I'm worried. After Neveah died, he got very very quiet and hasn't been himself.

I grow a v****a and I'm worried about Zah not talking a lot. Sheesh.

Malum bad. Zah good. Much go catch up with Xerk - last time I saw him we were being attacked by dark things and I was taking more comfort in holding him then he was.

He should be growing soon too.... Mal and Lee have...Zah. Everyone is catching up. I am excited.

Zah is here! I am going to see him now. Farewell, journal.

Another night where Zah was sleeping over. It had become the norm, still, with his friend. He wasn't one for prying too much into the newer Gaurdians affairs. The woman who tried to take Zahs mothers place wasn't much one for child-rearing and his friend knew it. Yashima was pretty sure the darker boy almost hated his gaurdian.

It was sad but Yashi was pretty sure he would hate whoever tried to take his Tousans place too. Zah had a little bed next to Yashis own that the fox was fixing up for him, although he usually ended up creeping down there to cling when it got very dark and he couldn't see anything. There were memories in his head that didn't like to sleep alone and clinging to someone he trusted help.

"Why does he even bother going home?" Iamels slightly nasal voice rang through the crowded, red and blue decorated room. The fox tensed up a bit, turning around to face his brother. "He's here, by the way. But he practically lives here."

"Go away." He snarled and finished up with his tidying. Iamel was shoved out of the door way as the fox went on his search to the front to find Zah.

Thae had been TRYING to stop the Drow from spending so much time away from home...but it was a losing battle. She never outright ordered him to stay home, and part of her threatened dangerous things should she ever try it. The doppleganger, though she really wasn't into child rearing, didn't want this particular child to do things because she ordered him to. It seemed somehow wrong, as much of a convinence as it was.

Thus, when Zah announced he was going to Yashima's once more, she merely sighed "If thats what you feel is the right thing to do", then wandered off to go tie something around Prince's wrist to get a giggle war out of the twins, and amusement for herself.

When he arrived at the house, he ignored the 'You're here AGAIN?' looks, then eyed Iamel once he was close enough. "Having heard that. Going home is for twin seeings, schoolings and much trainings." He grumbled to the overgrown bird for probably the millionth time. Promptly putting that conversation aside, he waved to Yashima once he spotted the fox, the ghost of a smile moving onto his lips.

"Echk, Ahshe!" A slight pause, and then. "How is?"

"Iamel's a jerk. Ignore him." A snarling glare was cast to his brother. Iamel merely shrugged a little bit, hand raising in greeting to the drow. He liked the drow but.. he was over SO MUCH. Patrick liked him, so that was good, but...still. He ignored his younger brother skirting towards the darker boy and latching onto an arm.

Yashi paused in talking too much around his family and instead tugged at Zah, towards his room. "Not bad. More... more dreams then usual." He nodded at that. Zasalamel would know what he meant. Memories. Things that weren't all them - but someone else.

Someone who WAS them. It creeped him out. "You? She didn't try to boss you around yet." He noted, eyebrows arching up mildly. "Echk, by the way."

Zasalamel waved back at Iamel. Sure he somewhat understood where the bird man was coming from, he just didn't think it was any of said bird man's business. His purple gaze then turned to the fox attached to his arm, the once waving hand moving to pat the fox's hand.

"Siyo, also much dealings with dreamings..." Zah trailed off absently, sighing a bit. Really, these dreams were getting annoying. He wasn't used to them, but now they wouldn't go away. He didn't want to have to deal with something or someone that may or may not have been him or had anything to do with him in the past. The present was already too much to deal with, thank you.

"Nau, Matron not start with the bossing." Part of him was relieved, and that much was shown in his eyes. "Is much surprise by this." Shrugging, he brushed his free hand through his shoulder blade length hair, which he'd kept down for some reason today. "But is much nice of Matron." Pausing for a moment with his speech but not his movement, he eyed the room that Yashi had been preparing.

"Ah...am good, by way." For the most part, anyway. His throughts trailed back to Iamel, and the stares he was getting. "Is okay to be here in housings, Ahshe?"

"Tousan tells me not all girls are dominant, bossy things. I don't believe him." The pale head shook at that, growing quieter as his friend spoke. Yashimas hands fell and he moved over to some of his dolls - trinkets and things - and started to fix them. Straighten them. It was a nervous habit of his and something he did often.

Yashi didn't like thinking about his dreams. Not at all. Not at all.

Zahs question made him pause, twisting around slowly to gaze at the Drow curiously. "No one.." Yashima pauses, lips pursing, "No one here has very many friends. When someone spends the night, it's usually for tousan. 'Mel has his friends come over sometime but they go to the treehouse and there's always lots of music and more then one of them. The only other one with a friend is Keelah and he only has ONE friend. Cosa's come over once."

The fox shrugged, looking down. "And he is the nice one. Mel is the nice one. I am not so nice. Theyre more surprised you keep coming back to see me over and over again. I just don't tell them you dislike your gaurdian. I know that helps."

Chuckling quietly, the Drow dropped his backpack at the base of the little bed that had been unofficially assigned to him. He sat down on the mattress, twisting his fingers into the fabric of the bedspread that was also unofficially his. Thae may or may not have had something to do with this particular comforter finding its way here. Apparently the Doppleganger had started to feel bad about the whole continuous sleep over thing.

"Hm...Would be coming over still much often, even if liking Matron." He assured the fox. "Much enjoy of Ahshe company." It had started because he didn't like Thae and because he was distraught over the loss of Neveah....but it became a habit. A habit he enjoyed more than anything right now, matched only by his love for training.

"....Hm." The Drow trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say.

Now this was uncomfortable. Yashi regretted saying anything and he mentally damned his elder brother. Iamel would PAY later. He may be b ig now but one day, yashi would be bigger. Then they would see who was who! He could feel the silence growing heavier around them, like a thick woolen blanket inside of a pool.

"Good. I'd hate to think you were using me for the comfortable mini-bed." He grinned faintly and moved towards the bed. A small pillow was grabbed and tossed, hand to hand. "This is uncomfortable."

....FWUMP.

The fox had reeled back and with his momentum, smashed his pillow into the side of his friends head. It left a grin on his faceand he pushed a pillow back at the other.

Zasalamel grinned, then faded his grin to attempt to look thoughtful. "Huh, Maybe am using fo---" FWUMP. Cutting off his own words, the Drow sat there, one hand raised as if he'd been about to make a gesture, but forgot what he was doing. Wide purple eyes were blinking rapidly in confusion, and eventually he snapped out of his stupor, finding a pillow in his hand. He shook his head, turning a bit to face Yashima with a face full of curiousity and surprise.

"...Why with the smacking from soft squ---pillow?" He asked stupidly, holding the pillow slightly in front of him with both hands. Eventually, he put the pillow from hand to hand, getting a feel for this strange but comfortable weapon. Something told him he was going to get into a fight.

Call it fighters intuition?

Yashima grinned back, flipping his pillow in the air with a laugh. It was a soft laugh, the noise of a child who was truly in a pleasent mood. "Because." He said mildly. The fox shrugged, fingers wriggling against the pillow. "Because it's fun, Zah."

"Didn't you know?" A wider grin at that and he made a little mock-swat at the drow. Yashima flopped onto the bed next to him before sitting up, smacking the back of his head with his own pillow. "Come ON, Zah."
Sangu Incarn: Zasalamel just stared at his friend, even when he got another smack to the head with a pillow. "Nau, never play with pillow fightings." He said quietly, grabbing his pillow. After a moment or two of staring under pillow attacks, he raised his pillow, then quickly smacked Yashima with it.

"Fine! Am declaring the war to Ahshe!" He cried out with a little chuckle, moving to hit Yashima with the pillow-weapon once more.

Poor Zah. He didn't think his friend would truly smack him? That's what male friends were for - to hurt others and to be hurt. Battle! War! Rawr! Things of that matter. Yashima understood, somewhere in him. He was no warrior yet but he understood this. So, smacking his friend was a rite of Manly hood! Or just a silly childrens pillow fight. Either explination of it worked.

Slam! SLAM! BAM! Zah was getting pounded with the pillows until there was a counter attack. The fox yelped, caught by surprise, and he fell sideways onto the bed. Yashima scrambled, tail lashing as he writhes around to smack at the other, despite his body being attacked with the Zah weapon.

The drow, in lieu of any good warrior, was weilding his pillow with one hand while the other lashed out, trying to disarm his fox like opponent. He'd never physically tried to overtake any of his friends before, it was fun! Well, that was a lie. Once, when he was a toddler, he wrestled with Kishi...but that was when he was a toddler, for heavens sake! Regardless! Fighting Yashima was new, and it was fun! Zasalamel continued his little war with his best friend.

A dark hand closed around a corner of his opponent's pillow, and as he did, a sense of triumph - followed shortly by a wave of exhaustion, flowed through him. He blinked as if disoriented, accidentally letting his grip on both his and Yashima's pillows waver slightly.

Yashi was loosing the war. He was a bad stategist - even his little brother could beat him at a game of chess. It wasn't a pleasent feeling and halfway through, he was tired. It was a long, arduous battle to fight, after all, and Yashima knew he was weak. But by the time he knew what sort of affect it was taking, he could see Zah blink.

The pillows were released but the fox was in no mood to fight. His fingers unclenched as well as eyelides fluttered. "...Zah," Yashima whispered, "I'm kind of tired."

Then the eyes rolled to the back of his skull and he fell, face first, against his friend.

Bam

"Am too..." Zah said quietly, one hand lifting to rub at his eyes. Was he really that exhausted? He was sure he'd been sleeping well lately! That train of thought was cut short however, once he felt Yashima faceplant into his chest. Lifting his hands, he attempted to move the fox...he was tired, he didn't want to fall and...well, that was too late. Only moments after he'd grabbed Yashima's arms to move him, his own purple eyes rolled, his body crumpled backwards.

Luckily for him, he landed on his back on soft pillows ad blankets, with his best friend as a makeshift blanket.

A huge area. Yashima was standing there again, beside Inari - it could only be the god of rice, really - and the squirming half-grown fox in his hands. This was the part the young man didn't want to see. He knew what happened.

What would, anyway.

He'd seen how he had looked in the past. It wasn't a bad way to look; many on Gaia would consider him rather handsome and desirable. Yashima didn't find him bad. Just...

The others around them had stopped moving, stopped talking. There were twenty of them, give or take, all tall and slim, pale as ghosts and wearing kimono from all colors of the rainbow and all of their hair was done up and they looked as if something over the top had happened once more. Inari was at it again, those expressions said. The looks were tolerant and curious, ears pricked forward and the shuffling started towards him.

Their god was at it again. He had found a lost little pup and had brought him home. But that’s when the whispering had started again – this one was a dark one. The little black pup born to a silver mother and a ruddy orange sire and it was here, with them. In Inaris arms.

“Time to change, my little kit.” Inari leaned down, setting the dark kit onto the ground and his hand gave a brief, uncaring little wave. There was a little poof of smoke, a swirling and then there was a small clatter as a mask, dark blue and black shaped as a fox-face, fell onto the ground. It was his mask. Apparently, Yashi was quickly learning, all of the fox people had masks slightly like one another. He could see them, tucked into belts or in hands or over the face or up in the hair. He didn’t have one like that.

Why was that?

Silence reigned for a moment once the boy changed. It was always a bit painful, the first time, and he was crouched. Yashi could feel the pain the other felt tingling up his arms and down his spine, making his head tilt back with a whimper. It wasn’t good.

His head was bowed and his fingers were tight on the grass beneath him. Despite his own pain, Yashima said nothing from his invisible stance; instead he took a few steps to the side and one to the back.

A gasp echoed through the crowd once they got a good glimpse affirmed Yashimas fears. He glanced over to who he used to be. A plain face with a masculine jaw and a firm, rounded nose. His chin, Yashi recognized, was set and stubborn. His eyes were a beautiful crystalline blue, looking odd on that tanned complexion. He was attractive… Just now in the way the fox-people admired so.

The boy was still, eyes moving back down to the ground. Whimsical, trickster Inari grinned widely at the impolite gawking and clapped his hands together. “Now!” Came that deep, lovely voice once more as Inari seemed to gain more energy around his messengers. “This is out new little good omen! Treat him with respect—” He stroked the boys hair, completely undermining his last statement, “— And teach him how one of my messengers are to act. Where is Sakura? Never mind. Iza, Ima, I need you for an errand.”

He was gone, then. There was no smoke or mirrors; he simply disappeared and two of the crowd slipped into fox-shape and sprinted off. The boy was left, naked and crouching, a fox-mask between his thighs and being stared at, by a few dozen unwelcoming people.

“Clothes,” Someone said finally. There was a rustle amongst them before one, a small , young female, came forth with her arms full of white cloth.

Yashi blinked. She looked like he did, although maybe a bit older. She had the same wide gold eyes and the shoulder-length white hair with a few streaks of gold. But her lashes were longer and she was wearing a kimono that surpassed his yukata ten times over. It was soft looking and flowed around the
(TBC)

There was laughter. The black fox tensed up visibly at the noise, his hands tightening into small balls of fury. it was only laughter - he knew it was only laughter, but it was aimed at him.

Yashima was there again, not for the first time. He remembered how this had unfolded the first time; he had remembered bits and pieces. Seeing the set up again made it all come rushing back, made him pause a little in his wonderment. This time, he knew what it was Kumo had been feeling.

He saw him outside still but he could feel him too. Again, it was the same. Again and again and again. The emotions would keep playing until the kid was sure that he would explode from it all.

So Yashi watched as the smaller, black fox remained tense, his hands clenched, and he saw the thoughts rolling through his mind. He was supposed to be beautiful and noble as any of the silver foxes, as strong and lovely as them, despite his ebony fur. The darkness was supposed to be special, a symbol of an influential kit.

But he wasn't. The fox was supposed to be but no one, even Yashi, could mistake the short, burly and ugly fox for one of Inaris more graceful of messangers. He was ugly in the way that others considered the opposite of beautiful. There was nothing WRONG with his features...they were simply what wasn't preferred.

Delicate features, long hair. Height. Slender frame. He was the reflection of all of that, being dark and short, features something more masculine then most other of the foxes. There was nothing delicate about the fox.

When the laughter continued, his shoulders hunched tightly together. A growl was bubbling in his throat and there was that urge to tell them to SHUT UP but --

"Now, what are you hens cackling about?" From the distance came a low, grindingly masculine voice of one of the more important servants. Kumo twisted around to see the interaction - Sakura was as graceful and stoic as ever, moving to stand amidst the formerly chatting group. Despite the calm exterior though, both Yashi and Kumo could see that those narrowed eyes were brimming with thinly veiled hostility and outright anger. He was dangerous.

To Kumo, he was a light shining within the damning darkness that was made of the others in their clan. The silver foxes fingers twitched and his lips pressed into a harsh line.

The others didn't reply. Kumo - and Yashi - simply watched.

"Was there something funny going on?" The taller being continued to inquire, one thin eyebrow arching high on his forehead. "Or maybe something amusing in the past that was being retold?" When no one spoke up for another long moment, Sakuras face clouded over, head tilting up in an arrogant, aristocratic manner. "Or prehaps - and catch me if I'm wrong - you were harassing another of our brethren."

Silence reigned. The uncomfortable side-glances towards Kumo and his invisible child counterpart gave way to their guilt. Sakuras voice changed when he next spoke, taking on a heavy, harsh tone usually reserved for rebellious kits doing something horribly wrong.

"How dare you speak of another of our kind that way." Sakura spat out in a fit of uncharacteristic anger and vehmance. "We are messangers - servants, the lot of us - to the god of prosperity! Lowering yourself to making your own kind feel bad about himself while shirking your duties and gossiping like a group of old women! Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

The group fidgeted, moving as a whole. This time around, Yashima admired the fox. He was beautifully angry. Sakura was almost ranting and one hand had flown expressively into the air, bracelets jingling together. All eyes were on him - stares were coming from all over the courtyard.

"He's just so small," One of the group broke in, smoothing down his summer dress. His face was flushed but there was an edge to his voice, "He's so small and--"

The fox managed to break himself off. It was a good thing he did so at the time as Sakuras eyes narrowed into near-slits and they seemed to glow under the pale eyelids.

Suddenly, Sakuras face smoothed over into one of a mask, a placid smile on his face, eyes wide and almost innocent. "Yes. Yes, Kumo IS small. That's unfortunate seeing as how you're so very vertically gifted yourself, Shinji. Is that a reason for harassment? Just because someone wasn't kind to you as a child, you have to harass a kit?"

The silvers voice lowered, leaning into that offending fox almost roughly. "You listen to me, Shinji. Kumo is stronger then you. Smarter. Better luck, to boot. While you stand around and gossip and try to hurt him, he sits there practicing self control because I know many others would NOT be so patiant with you and your ilk chattering and cruelty. You watch your mouth before it gets cut off by the masters wife."

Shinji glared at his better in anger, shoulders thrusting foreward as if he meant to tackle the taller fox. Breathes were held and Yashi found his teeth digging harder into his fluff, eyes wide on the scene. But the younger kitsune backed down, furr smoothing and he stalked away without anymore of a word.

Kumo continued to stare at Sakura, eyes appreciative, awed...something else in there. This, too, Yashima recognized in the others eyes. His father had looked at people that way; his brother looked at Diacyn like that sometimes as well. No one had looked at Yashi like that yet but he knew what it was, either way.

Desire. Awe. Affection.

Love.

All of it, for the tall pale thing. All of it. The younger fox was taken slightly aback, especially when Sakura spun towards Kumo and extended his hand. His nails were sharp, almost incandescent, but his palms looked soft and Yashi knew there was no way Kumo would refuse the invitation to touch the fox he admired.

Indeed, the smaller fox slid over, his fingers almost twitching before they rested against Sakuras palm. It was a hesitant movement cut short when Sakuras fingers closed over his fingers and part of his palm; the capture was abrupt and Kumo was pulled closer quickly. He stumbled, hitting Sakura, and instead of being chastised or ridiculed, he received an arm around his shoulders… as if to steady him.

Yashima could feel the dark foxes pleasure at the move and he could hear the other foxes fall absolutely silent. Sakura was forbidden fruit to a certain point and no one, not even the bravest, tried to court him or back mouth him too badly. The smaller fox was looking at Sakura as if he was infatuated. Tsk.

“You need to learn to fight back.” The tall one said finally, his deep voice almost amused. He was shaken out of his previous fury, with the small Kumo in his arms. “I can show you how to defend yourself.”

Kumo nodded slowly, clearing his throat lightly. “But don’t you have better things to do? I mean, you’re…important.”

Sakura shrugged. “So are you. Fighting with a blade is just as important as fighting with your mind. Right now, you are not good at either.” The words were not harsh but Yashi saw – and felt – Kumo go red and his head duck in shame. The larger foxes lips twitched in amusement at the other, eyes glancing down at him once more. “It’s not something to be ashamed about, Kumo. You were only taught to hunt.”

“To fish,” He grumbled out, blue eyes peeking up at Sakura abashedly. “We fished and hunted rabbit. We were simply foxes. I wasn’t raised to be like.” He paused and his nose wrinkling as he studied the frail looking Sakura. “Not to be like you.”

“What’s wrong with being like me? I am not as weak as I look.” Sakuras chuckle was mild, his hand moving to give the smaller things shoulder a brief squeeze before he moved away. “Now come. It’s time to show you how to fight like a fox should.”

Sakura didn’t wake up to the kit. It was late at night and he was exhausted from a day of pretend smiling and clinging to Kumo when he got back to the small home. The dark fox was the only one alert enough at that time to crawl out of bed, his mask on the floor, and pushed the door open. The fox-kit dropped the notice and pounced off into the night, preferably to her home bed.

Yashima watched it from his corner, cross-legged and silent. Kumo took the orders and unrolled the delicate rice paper to see the message inside. His face went white under the tan and his eyes shot to the snoozing, larger form on his mat. Determination set over his face within the span of a breath; Yashis eyes widened when he saw his past-self twist and churn into the body of his lover – the frame Yashima himself so looked like; like he still looked, minus the cuts on his face. The only difference other then that was the fact that Kumo was butt naked and strolling around the room as if nothing was different.

He dressed in Sakuras clothing, did his hair quickly, sloppy, a man just out of bed, and then he was off into the night. The door slid shut behind him, soft as a moth, and Sakura never stirred.

Yashi trailed after his past self as he walked to the Goddesses separate quarters from her husbands, his feet crunching on the soft grass. The boy marveled in how much he looked like...well, him! Just in different times. Different and strange.

It didn't take long. Adorned, Kumo knelt before the Goddesses door, calling out softly through the thin paper. “Lady Betan? You called for me.” It was not a question. Sakura didn't ask questions.

Sakura asked for things, though. Sakura asked Kumo to kill him in order to keep him away from Betan again. Yashima knew his Past-Self agreed to do the deed. It was why he was kneeling there in his lovers clothing, Sakuras mask on his face, his lovers hairdo. All of it was to protect the older fox. And yet, Kumo still felt a trill of fear and of death when that rice paper door slid open. It made the same noise as a knife leaving its stealth

“Sakura.” Her voice was a little drawl, making him almost shudder. Her approach was a dominant source; he could see why even Sakura wilted under her attention and why Inari spent so much time from the den. “You came.” A rustle of fabric – she was moving back. “So you decided to take my offer up after all.”

Amusement? His head jerked up a little at that, sly golden eyes resting on her. Waiting for an explanation. Betan didn't give one. She just moved further inside, droplets of water falling from her hair rather gracefully. Water goddess. She expected him to follow. So Kumo did, moving to his knees with just the briefest of struggles as a kimono was not his most beloved form of dress, and slid inside with the goddess. She was behind a shoji screen; it caused Kumo to balk. Betan paused as well, peering out from behind the screen. Her eyes were cold.

Colder then before.

“Come here, Sakura.”

The next few moments were a blur. Kumo hesitated, he almost didn't step forward, but the moment his foot took that small shuffle closer, the beautiful woman was in front of him, her face a mask of fury.

Yashi squeezed his eyes shut when Betan grabbed his formers selves face and tore three fingers through each of his cheeks. Blood flew; she said he didn't act or smell like HER Sakura and how DARE he try to steal him away from her?! How dare he?!

He could hear Kumo trying to protest, something, anything but they both knew how the woman was. Kumo had stolen an object of hers – so what if she had abused it? She had claimed Sakura as hers, without her husband’s knowledge, and he was hers, none the less. Kumo had taken him and forced her to hurt her Sakura, cutting off his ears and clawing at his hands in her righteous rage.

By the time her yelling had ceased, the water goddess had not only cut his face but blackened both of the foxes eyes, tore open all the layers of his clothing down to the juban underneath and managed to nearly strangle him. Kumo was coughing, gasping for breath, his eyes slit in pain. His stomach hurt. The sliced clothing fell, leaving the fox grappling for it, as some sort of a shield, backing up further to press against the thin sliding door inside of her rooms. Yashi kept his eyes closed.

Humiliation and pain, especially when she grabbed him by the hair, yanking the small body up. With the muscles, he wasn’t so light, but she was a goddess fueled by anger and self-importance. The fox from the future cringed, stumbling his ghost-self back as he watched the woman, so domineering and clear, shake who he used to be.

The shake is what finally broke Kumos submission. When they could feel the roots tearing from their head, both of the males gave a yell. Only Kumo lashed out, in the slit-eyed vision of his future self, and he dragged his own long claws down the woman’s face.

Blood blossomed. Once beautiful, Betan stood there with four angry slices from her left temple, down to her right jaw line. They bled the very moment the skin tore, pouring liquid so red it was almost black down her lovely, rounded face.

“Run!” Yashima screamed, although in the back of his mind he knew the fate already. “RUN, Kumo! Get out of there! Run!”

But Kumo faltered and the goddess released him in her screaming in pain. The dark fox finally came to his senses, scrambling and grabbing Sakuras mask, which had fallen off in the scuffle, and he ran. Yashima wasn’t sure if he burst through the door or if he just pushed it open and ran, but he was gone.

Kumo was a speck of black and white against the night. Blood was everywhere, even as he face. The gouges in his face were deep, as deep as the ones he had given the goddess.

When he was in the woods, other kitsune were waking up, tired and rubbing their eyes. Sakura was the last to awaken – Yashi could see his panic when he didn’t see Kumo beside him. This Sakura was naked as he darted out of their home. Betan was snarling at two of the more burly fox things. They weren’t muscular like Kumo had been, but they were strong. Iza and Ima. The two named after the creation gods; they were bred at the palace, they were raised by Betan.

They slid into their fox-skin, the markings of their mask plain on their faces, lithe bodies running after the soon-to-be shredded Kumo. Yashima didn’t want to follow, but he had to. His form pulled him there without mercy, making him watch the hunt between two of those who never quite taunted him but were never so very kind either. Kumo was running; any magic he had was forgotten this point. He was no longer Kumo or Sakura; he was a twisted form of them both. Tall and so very thing, but dark haired, darker skin, hairier. Like the child that they would have, if they could have. It was odd.

It didn’t take the foxes long to find the bloodied, limping one. There was a growl and Kumo spun, twisting out his ankle and he fell to his back. A cry of pain lit the air and, as he squeezed his eyes shut, both Yashi and Kumo, the sound of tearing flesh and growls swelled up. And the screaming. It was piercing and sharp, making the fox shift between fox and mortal and Messenger, Sakura and Betan and Kumo and his mother.

As he died, Kumo wanted his mother. He wanted his mother and her comfort and he wanted Sakura too. He wanted to be wrapped in their arms and anything other then the paws dragging the flesh from his bones, away from the teeth biting at his throat and ears and hair.

It took four minutes and twenty eight seconds for Kumo to finally die and his brain to go silent. Even when his heart stopped and his eyes rolled back, he could feel himself being torn apart for another moment or so. He still wanted his mother. His Sakura.

Yashi was crying. In the distance, he could hear Sakura screaming for Kumo and he was cut off abruptly. Probably Betan. “I don’t want to be here,” He whispered, hands moving up to pull his ears down, squeezing his eyes shut, a sob welling in his throat. “I don’t want to BE here. This is ugly and bad and…oh, gods, this is so bad..”

Below him was the ripped up pieces of his former self. Only part of his head remained. Eyes, wide and unblinking, stared up at the sky in horror. His mouth was agape in a scream of pain, ears torn off and his dark hair bloodied from the horrors. Those cuts on his cheeks had stopped bleeding, a familiar style to the small fox. Only about an inch of the neck remained, tapering off into chewed up bits and part of his spinal column.

Yashi twisted and vomited into the trees he was hovering with. He coughed and hacked, pounding on his chest until he heard a voice, low and deep, soft and mellow, speak over him.

“You’re prettier then I would think I would be.”

Waking up with Zah. Stuff happens

Killing Sakura