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 Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 9:11 pm
@Shadowcat_Yami
well,that's really tough
you must've loved your father a lot
but you got to move on with your life
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 12:44 am
-sighs- yeah part of it is... and just call me shadow. his mom and some of his family refered to me and my older sisters as step grand kids since he was our step dad my real dad never wanted me but my step dad is my real dad as far as im concerned. he got cancer in his bones and then caught pnemonia and died... after words his mom and family were saying some really bad things saying we never cared about him or loved him.... which cut me so bad.... he was the only dad i ever knew... they never even cared enough to come see how my younger sister was who is his real daughter. I have dreams where he is still alive and wake up hurting wishing it were true.... and now his family is trying to conttact me through myspace and messanger.... it brings back all the pain they cause.
at phoenix: you dont think i havve tryed?? i am i have nothing is making the pain less
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 12:54 am
Blood doesn't make a family. Love does. He was your real dad no matter what they might say. The fact that you still hurt so much when you think about losing him means that you must know that. You know that you loved him...you still love him. That will never change, and you don't have to feel bad that it still hurts. Why does his family want to get in contact with you now, anyway?
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 12:59 am
I have to go to sleep so I can get a few hours in before I have to get up for work. I'll be online in the morning. *huggles*
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:28 am
yeah i love him so much i prayed so much for him to get better... afterwards my cousin (moms side) were talking and everyone could see how bad he was except us.... i know he isnt in pain anymore but i still needed him. I feel into a hard depression after he died... and i dont know they asked crap like "hey add me, how have you guys been" whats worse his sister- the only nice one other than him died of cancer as well she smoked... and her dieing wish was for us to get along again and we all promised we would but they still back talked us afterwards... i dont want then talking to me... and now it just brings back the hurt. and the nightmares... i loved him so much.... his retard son stold his checkbook after he died and used his checks him i will never forgive
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:00 am
Yes. Someday you do need to forgive them for all the horrible things they did and said. For your sake, at least. Staying angry will only hurt you in the long run. But forgiving someone does NOT mean you have to be friends with them, no matter what anyone says. You can forgive someone and still choose not to be close to them. Sometimes you have to do that to protect yourself from more hurt. If you don't want them talking to you, then don't feel guilty about not adding them on your accounts. Just try to focus on how much you love your dad instead of how much you don't like his family. When they do something to hurt you, just remember that, horrible as they may be, they did help make your dad (and your aunt, it sounds like) into really wonderful people that you loved very, very much.
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:26 am
im not angry so much as i am hurt... betrayed and his dad was great man but his mom nad other siblings and their others are all jerks.... you would think they werent even related.... ive been slightly ok but now all that is crushing me again... its so hard to deal with especially with work problems and the bad friends i have... bad as in not caring about my feelings...
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:37 am
It doesn't seem fair that when things in life go bad all the worst memories come rushing to the front of the mind again. It sounds like you're having a rough time all around lately. Friends are supposed to care about your feelings!
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:36 am
yeah,finally i'm an 11th grader now!!!
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 6:33 am
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:03 pm
DiDiW It doesn't seem fair that when things in life go bad all the worst memories come rushing to the front of the mind again. It sounds like you're having a rough time all around lately. Friends are supposed to care about your feelings! not the ones i have i love them i really do but i wish they were more considerate about how i feel kevin sometimes makes cancer jokes and thinks i dont have a right to be upset... erica is a now it all who told me about 6 months after it happened to get over it... her and megan said he wouldnt want me mopeing around erica hasnt lost someone til recent and megan isnt bothered by death... erica trys to dictate things
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:55 pm
I'm sure your friends are just trying to help, but it sounds like they are actually making things worse. You can't just "get over it" when someone you love dies. Eventually, yes, the pain lessens, but there will still be moments when it comes rushing back full-force and you wonder how you will ever make it through. And it isn't that they're wrong, per se. Of COURSE he wouldn't want you moping around and being sad, but that can't change the way you feel. Everyone deals with death differently, and people need to accept that and be supportive.
Many of us in the guild have dealt with the death of someone we love, and we all handled it differently. Read through our postings in the death thread and you can see how everyone copes differently. I'll tell you that my grandfather died over 31 years ago, and sometimes my mother still cries when she thinks about it.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 12:20 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 12:28 am
You're welcome and good for you!!!
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:47 am
yeah i began severly depressed.... and with how they acted having gotten worse i tryed to kill myself or almost did... i have enough will power to fight the sorrow.... and wait til you hit college thats the real fun
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