Welcome to Gaia! ::

Chapter 1

The house was quiet. Not silent, just quiet. Faint sounds drifted through narrow streets from the centre LOL, there's a red squiggly line under that because I R A SILLY AMRICN of the village; laughter from the tavern and chatter from people who entered or left in small groups. A baby cried. Either elaborate on the baby noise or omit it...seems a little too random for me. Snatches of conversation from other homes wafted away on the air. And then there were noises of the night that few heard and fewer cared about; the hooting of an owl,(omitted "then") the squeak of an unfortunate nocturnal rodent. The rustle of a breeze disturbed the sleep of the fresh spring leaves, and caused a woman leaving the warmth of the tavern to wrap her shawl round her that bit tighter.
Remember to hit that enter key onneee more time to get rid of any text walls. : D
But from this house, there came no noise. The flicker of a sole candle on a table by the lone (omitted sole for redundancy's sake) window was barely enough to reveal the silhouette of a girl, waiting. In the dim light, she was almost unnoticeable, but that was the point. If she wasn’t noticed, then she couldn’t be talked to, and the less people talked to her, the better. People only (omitted ever) wished to snap orders or goad her.

Drunken shouting ripped through the silence. She moved, knowing who was shouting. It was what she was waiting for. As she left the house, not bothering to shut the door, a man staggered out of the tavern. Average height, average weight; the only thing that was not average about him was the amount of ale he drank. This sentence seems a little awkward, consider revising. She knew this better than anyone – except perhaps the tavern’s owner, who made much of his profit from the money spilling from this man’s hands. Two men emerged behind him, quickly followed by the remainder of the tavern’s customers poking their heads out of windows or gathering in the doorway.

"Go on Rom, you can take ‘em," one called.

This may just be a UK thing, but I know that in the states it's " rather than '. From here on on out I'll just go ahead and change them.

‘And if he do I’ll rip ’is throat out,’ the staggering man yelled in a drunken slur, shaking his fist.
I omitted the extra letters...were you trying to convey that he's all drunken and stuff? Because you can actually do that without adding any letters...I would just describe the man stuttering or having awkward speech.

The second of the men who had followed him out pushed lightly on the drunken man’s chest, sending him sprawling to the ground.

The girl groaned, and ran towards them, holding up her long skirts so as to avoid being tripped by the fabric that stifled her legs. As she reached them, one of the men laughed, shouting: "Oh look, Lil’ Miss Sarri’s arrived to save the day -- Again!"

Their audience cackled and the fallen man looked round from where he was lying.

"Why’s she always come and take poor Kif away when all ‘e wants to do is play?" his companion asked, folding his arms in mock exasperation. More laughter.

"And why’s it that when there’s trouble you’re always there, Rom Judsuril?" She snapped back.

"Who ‘sat?" the drunk man murmured.

She cast an eye along his clothes. At least he hadn’t vomited this time. Wearily, almost impassively, but for a flash of something between anger and sorrow in her gaze, she began to help him up.
"It’s me, father, it’s Sarri."
SNAP
"Aww, don’t ‘e know who she is?" jeered one of the women, who was almost falling out of a window in an effort to get the best view.

"I can’t ‘elp but admire ‘em," Rom added, watching Kif being hauled to his feet. "So manly."

SO MANRY-DESU. Also, new paragraph when someone is talking. Watch your commas, and 'im should be 'em. Could be a completely different spelling the UK though. If that's the case, just tell me to STFU.

That had the bystanders in fits of hysteria, including those who had just appeared on their doorsteps, spilling little pools of light onto the street.

I would consider rephrasing that. Maybe something like "The comment had the bystanders in hysterics..."

After ensuring that her father could stand, Sarri advanced on the group, light from the doorway falling onto her brown skin.

"You think this is funny, do you?" Her voice was laced with pent-up wrath.

The funny part about all of this is that I'm imagining reading all of this in a British accent. XD

Rom smirked at the girl. "Don’t you, Miss mud-face? Look at you both. An old fool who can’t ‘old ‘is ale, and you who came out of a muddy mother as if you’d already been rolling about with the pigs."
Sarri’s fists clenched. Her palms were getting hot, and she knew what that meant. Not daring to retort, she turned on her heels and stalked back to her father.

"Who ‘sat?"

Sighing, she replied ‘It’s Sarri, father, it’s your daughter.’

Consider: "It's Sarri, father," she sighed, "your daughter."

"Daughter?"

"Yes."

"But I don’ have a-a daughter."

He pushed her away as if she was a stranger. Sarri stood in silence, feeling her palms getting hotter again, not knowing what to do.
Her father’s drunken mutterings continued. (omitted colon.)

"I ‘ave a wife, a lovely wife…but I don’…I don’ ‘ave a daughter.’ He looked round, puzzled. ‘Wh…where’s my wife? Where’s my Rosenna?’

The villagers fell silent. Kif had never before been so inebriated that he could not recognize his own kin, that he forgot his wife’s death, so many years before. Nobody knew whether to jeer or to comfort the girl. Rom nearly chose the former, but one of his companions nudged him warningly.

Sarri found herself unable to move.

"Father," she pleaded.

A tear rolled down her cheek. One of the kinder villagers started towards her, then backed away gasping. Sarri’s tight fists had fallen loose, releasing the heat she had kept hidden for so long. Hot, red flames danced round her hands, like something from a bard’s legend.

Seeing the villagers freeze in terror, Sarri’s despair turned to horror. She lifted her hands to her face. The flames were so bright that most would have flinched, but not her. For a number of long, slow seconds, she held her hands there, utterly still, her wide eyes and bitten lip flickering in and out of darkness.

"Go," she said softly to the flames. And they vanished.

"Careful," one voice hissed to another. "Don’t anger her!"

Contrary to their expectations, Sarri showed no signs of anger. Instead, she continued to stand, silent as a statue, staring at her father, who was looking stupidly at the floor, apparently unaware of what he had caused. She had looked after Kif for years, since the villagers had decided that he was not worth their effort. She had worked in the fields for hours, barely earning enough to buy food, let alone fund his copious drinking. She had taken the swearing, the beatings, the blame for her mother’s death, yet still looked after her father when he returned home late at night, splattered with vomit and weeping for his Rosenna.

Lord, what an a*****e.

It was her duty to love and care for her father, so she had always been told, though the villagers themselves did not care to have any duty towards the man who had dared to love a foreign woman. No, the village refused their duty towards Sarri. When she was reduced to stealing food, they did not excuse her, as they did their children, but whipped the backs of her legs, as they would an adult. When she was younger, they refused to let their children play with her, the dark-skinned drunkard’s daughter. And now she was nearing adulthood, they refused to protect Sarri from the men who grabbed her waist and breasts and other places, but complained of her ‘wild ways’ when she proved able to defend herself.

Damn...

For the briefest moment, Sarri wondered if maybe, just maybe, her powers would earn respect, even kindness from the villagers. Then she looked at Rom.

Rom Judsuril had once played chase with her in the back streets, but now was her most frequent abuser, and tried to catch her for far more sinister reasons. The hate in his eyes was base, brutal, unexplainable.

There was nothing here except her drunkard father, and hatred. Maybe the villagers would try to drown her, as they drowned wicked sorcerers in the towns. She had to go, had to get away.

(omitted 'so'.)Sarri turned away from them, and ran. There was nothing else to do now. For years she had prayed for escape, held back by a coerced sense of duty, but now… It was better this way. Better to run. And keep running.

When Sarri finally stopped, she was close to a stream that ran through the nearby forest. She did not know how long she had been running, only that walking here normally took her half an hour. But she needed to speak to someone.

Girl, just get the hell away from that hot mess! You deserve better!

Closing her eyes she breathed deeply, settling into a trance that calmed her enough to concentrate. Soon, Sarri was able to reach out a tendril of her consciousness to the strange realm she visited whenever she needed advice, or a friendly voice.

Her mind dropped deep into a place that was neither part of the world, nor separate from it. Once, Eath had compared the ‘realms’ to a drawing that shows two pictures, depending on how you looked at it; they were different, but still on the same sheet of paper. Though, humans did not really ‘see’ the realm – Sarri had not understood much of the rest of Eath’s explanation, except that her powers allowed a limited perception of beautiful entwined ropes of colour.

Certainly, no human could live there. As a child, Sarri had wanted to stay forever, and been upset for weeks that she could only summon the energy to enter the realm for a few hours. But even that became a comfort. The beings she met, including Eath, were wholly different to humans, but at least they seemed incapable of cruelty or abandonment.

"Eath," she called, "Are you there?"

"Of course I’m there. I’m never anywhere but there," came the gentle reply.

Out of the colours whirling before Sarri’s eyes, a shape formed. It was human in form, but its body continually changed, melting away slightly in one place, after which a small bulge would emerge in another, to melt as soon as it had appeared. If looking carefully – which was impolite – trees or animals could be seen to make up these changing bulges. The small bumps represented every living thing on the land the elemental inhabited, no matter how insignificant. Neither male nor female, it was the spirit of the earth it protected, and it was the elemental’s nature to love all upon that earth, a doting carer for animal, plant and human alike.

"What is wrong, child?"

‘The same thing as always,’ was the bitter answer. ‘But worse than usual.’

"I see."

The earth elemental, known to Sarri as Eath, made a sound like wind rushing through trees, reminiscent of a sigh.

"'E was drunk again and upset Rom. I tried to…to sort ‘em out, and…and…"

Eath seemed to consider this, giving Sarri a chance to fight tears back.

"And?"

"I got angry."

"Even grown humans get angry. You do not yet have fifteen years –"

"You don’t understand," Sarri nearly screamed. "I lost control."

Tears brimmed at the corners of her eyes.

"You mean you lost control of your powers."

Sarri turned her head away, not wanting Eath to see the tears that now flowed freely down her cheeks.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Nothing to be ashamed of! Eath, I lost control of the one thing I’m proud of."

"I meant you should not be ashamed of crying. It is what you call ‘natural’ for humans to cry when events overcome you."

I like this Eath guy. I think we're going to be friends!

Sarri sniffed.

"Thank you." She took a deep breath. "That’s not everything though. They were so…they looked so…like they wanted to kill me. And father…’e didn’t even remember me."

Lower-case 'f' on father.

Ripples shivered through the elemental, and it made a noise like a thousand different creatures growling.

"I had to leave, Eath...I didn’t know what else to do."

The elemental seemed on the verge of replying, but paused. The small bumps on the elemental’s skin briefly froze, giving the impression that Eath had stiffened. The elemental looked beyond Sarri, into (the girl knew) its territory in the human world.

I'm a little confused by this paragraph. Avoid using parentheses to describe thoughts, etc. if you can.

"What is it?" Sarri asked.

"A human I do not recognize is approaching your physical form. You may want to return to your body."

Before Eath had finished speaking, Sarri was already doing as the elemental suggested. She had no idea what happened if you were injured while your consciousness was elsewhere, and didn’t want to find out.

Sarri felt her consciousness slip back into her body, leaving her with a lingering impression of having been deeply asleep. Slowly, so as not to make noise, she stood, ready to run if needs be. Even on the southernmost borders of Hyn, there was risk of attack.

Sarri never took part in the villagers’ conversations, as they usually ignored her while working in the wheat fields and market, but she did listen to them. Just piping in here to say that you should try to use 'so' as little as possible. When you're talking, sometimes it doesn't always translate to paper, so try to distinguish "writing" from "talking", or as I call it, the mouth-to-paper phenomenon, something you should avoid. She knew as well as any about the constant attacks in the north, and the raiding parties that grew ever closer to their remote village. Just thinking about the tales of destruction and slaughter told by merchant parties made a shiver crawl down her spine. A crunch behind her brought Sarri back to the real world with an unpleasant jolt. Sick with dread, she turned. A man’s silhouette was faintly visible amongst the trees.

A long minute passed, and another.

"Who is it?" the stranger called, just as she thought she could bear it no longer.

"That depends on who wants to know," she replied, pleased that she’d managed to keep the tremor out of her voice.

Soft laughter.

"You are wise to be cautious; there are dangers around these parts," the man paused, as if waiting for an answer. Sarri noticed he spoke Hyn, her language, with a foreign accent. When none came, he said, "I’d be obliged if you’d drop your weapons."

Semi-colons are okay when your saying things like he shouted: or he yelled:, sometimes. Don't use them when you're saying he said or she said.

"‘Ow can I drop weapons I don’t ‘ave?" Sarri replied, and then silently cursed herself for giving away this information. Why did she never listen when Eath told her to stop saying the first thing that came into her head? HAH! It only happened when she was nervous or angry, but that was the worst time to ‘lose control of your tongue'.

But instead of taking advantage of this information, the man simply laughed again.

"Why do I get the impression you’re regretting saying that?"

When Sarri stayed silent, he briskly continued, "You shouldn’t be out here alone. If you like, I’ll escort you home."

DON'T DO IT. YOU GONNA GET RAEP'D.

"I’d prefer to see who I’m talking to first," Sarri said, trying to avoid admitting that nobody cared where she was, and that she could not return ‘home’.

A liiiiittle of telling and not showing here, try to avoid that. SHOW US that she was trying to avoid admitting that nobody cared where she was by actions and dialogue.

"Meaning that you want to make sure I’m not one of the dangers."

Consider: "...meaning that you want to..." or "I mean that you want to...". Having 'Meaning' there to start the sentence is a little bit of the mouth-to-paper phenomenon I was talking about earlier.

He sounded slightly amused.

"Like you said, I shouldn’t be out ‘ere alone." Sarri looked behind her for cover, then softly backed away. She did not want to give another man the chance to grab her.

"No. You shouldn’t."

"It’s a good thing I’m not then."

"What do you mean?" he asked, sharply. A small scrape came from his direction, like the blacksmith sharpening scythes…or a weapon leaving its sheath.

"Put your sword, or whatever on Kenah it is, away," she told him, stumbling over words in her haste to reassure the armed stranger.
You tell him, girlfriend!
"All I meant was that you’re only a few feet away so I’m not entirely alone."

He hesitated, but another scrape signaled that his weapon was safely away.

"You have sharp ears." he said. With a note of amusement he continued, "You should be in my line of work. And no, I’m not intending to say what that is."

Whoever he was, the stranger was one of the oddest people Sarri had encountered. She shrugged.

"Fair enough."

She moved no further.

A silence followed, only broken by the man saying, "You should be at home. It is too dangerous for a young girl to be on her own! Especially tonight." Dude, how would YOU know?
"I’m not that young, I’m close to fifteen," Sarri snapped, "and why should tonight be any different to any other night? What’s going on?"


>CLOSE TO FIFTEEN
>NOT YOUNG
>LOLOLOLOLOL

"I said it’s not safe, do you really need me to elaborate!? And what on Kenah are you doing out at this time anyway, your parents-"

"What you do care?" Sarri snarled.

The stranger was prying too much, and she couldn’t admit that nobody cared about her. Any man could be a threat, and she wasn’t going to give him an excuse the try anything. There were any number of little villages around the forest, she could make up whatever she wanted if necessary. Better to drive him off though, better to keep people away. Anger usually did that.

Apart from, apparently, with this man.

A lot of telling here. Try to show us these facts.

"Why do I care? I don’t want to see someone else… Where’s your village?"

He was more than frustrated now. Sarri would almost have called him scared. She stayed silent.

"Gods curse it, this is important! Which of these specks on the map is your village?"

That was when they smelt it. Sharp, acrid, invisible in the night air but stealing its way into the backs of nostrils and throats until it settled like a low winter fog. Smoke. But it wasn’t normal smoke. It wasn’t even that the smell was different to usual, but something about it set Sarri’s powers on edge – something about it was wrong.
The man swore.

This paragraph is NICELY done!

"It’s begun early. Gods, what do I do with you now?"

Ruh-roh.

Sarri wasn’t listening. Closing her eyes she felt for the fire with her mind.

As she found the flames, images flashed through her mind. Heat. Light. Hunger. Fire elementals were always hungry. She concentrated harder. Figures, some of them running. Tall person in black. Hand on sword. A woman clutching a child; cowering from the man.

"Leave her alone! Please!"

The sword swung down towards her…

Sarri screamed in horror, breaking her concentration and snapping her eyes open. Another scream curled up her throat at the sight of a shadowy figure holding her arms, until she realized it was the stranger. It seemed that he had attempted to wake her.

"Fire," she croaked.

"What?"

"It’s eating everything."

Sarri was trembling. If you wanted to convey the fact that she didn't notice she was trembling, consider: "Sarri lifted her hands off the ground. Focusing, she could see them trembling in the darkness".

"What is?" His voice was gentle, but his hands gripped her shoulders more tightly.

"The fire! A-and there are people. They have swords, and black cloaks. They’re killing her!"

He swore again.

Sarri didn’t hear him. Instead she stood, shaking the man off.

"You should sit down," he told her.

LOL, who is this guy?

"Just now you wanted me to come with you," Sarri snapped. "Make up your mind!"

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.

Then she ran.

She ran back to the place she’d deserted less than an hour ago, fear giving her speed. But as she reached the village, she slowed, then fell to her knees in despair.

Fire was everywhere. Flames burst through every roof, consuming wooden walls and thatched roofs like a starving demon, forcing its way down narrow streets, growing and growing with every second. As Sarri watched, the house nearest to her gave up its bid for survival, and caved in. The crunch and creak as it fell was momentarily louder than the roar of the ravenous flames. But louder than anything else were the screams. Blood curdling, spine chilling screams. Silhouetted by the flames, people ran wildly, screaming, trying to escape their deaths. None managed more than a few desperate steps before the great fire consumed them.

"No!" she screamed. The people in that village may have tormented her for as long as she could remember, but she could not let them die like caged animals.

Less telling, more showing.

The heat was starting to make Sarri sweat, but she ignored it. She knew she could not burn. Heat had ever been able to harm her, though she did not know why. Perhaps it was because of the fire inside her – but she had no time to think of that, because her fire, her powers, were screaming out that the blaze before her was unnatural. No fire should ever behave like this, not when the breeze was so gentle, and the night so still.

It had to be stopped. Someone might still be alive. Maybe they would thank her.

Sarri lifted her hands, palms open. They were hot, her own powers reacting to her fear, but she forced them to cool. Picturing the destructive flames sinking, she started to slowly close her hands.

"Go!"

The same word that had banished the flames before. Nothing happened.

Closing her eyes, Sarri concentrated hard, harder than ever before on the writhing mass of fire. Still slowly closing her hands she shouted the word again.

"Go! Go!’"

Opening her eyes a crack, she saw that nearest flames were shrinking. Sarri shouted again and again, until she was screaming the word. She walked closer.

For an eternity, the girl cried at the flames. Smoke blackened her clothes, and Sarri could feel her energy slipping away, but didn’t dare stop until the fire was gone. Finally, as she slowly closed her hands, the house stopped burning. Keeping her hands closed, Sarri turned to the next house. Focusing her powers on it, she started the slow process of putting out the fire. Her head hurt, as though she had been hit repeatedly with a heavy object. Despite this, little besides the flames existed. Then, a hand roughly grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to turn and ripping her mind away from the fire.

"What’s this?" a cold voice mocked. "Have my men missed a little stray?"

OH s**t!

The hand on her shoulder pulled back her long hair, forcing her head back. Sarri let out a short, terrified scream.

"A pity to kill you. Almost."

Sarri stared up into his face, trying to make out some facial features from underneath his black hood.

Seeing her almost unflinching gaze, the man laughed. A cold, loud, mocking laugh. The unmistakable sound of a sword being drawn made her flinch, then cool metal pressed against her throat. He laughed louder.

"Stop, Ha’dar."

Sarri looked round as she recognized the voice.

"Help!" she screamed.

Ha’dar laughed.

"What makes you think he’s here to help you?"

The foreign man sighed.

"I found her in the forest, and convinced the little fool I was trying to protect her."

AW HELL NAH

Sarri turned cold. She should not have trusted him, not even for that panicked second. What had she been thinking?

"And she fell for it, Lieutenant Kjinli, sir?"

"Dolt!" was the snarled reply.

"Did you listen to a word I said?" Kjinli paused. "Maybe your ears are growing useless. I can’t help but wonder if you need them."

"I do, sir."

There was a definite tremble in Ha’dar’s voice.

"Do not answer back. Now, to business. How many were killed, escaped, and were any goods salvaged?"

"One hundred and fifty nine killed, sir. None escaped my men–"

"Apart from this girl," he interrupted. "And where are your men? Aren’t you supposed to be commanding them at the moment?’"

"I ordered them back to camp sir. I was just checking things over before I left. And my apologies, sir. I will personally make sure this doesn’t happen again."

"Good. On the matter of the girl, hand her over," Lieutenant Kjinli smiled cruelly. "The night has been disappointing; I need some fun."

RAEP TIME

"Yes, sir. I was surprised to see you here tonight."

"Then you should prepare better. Now give me the girl."

Sarri looked frantically between the two. Perhaps this was her chance to escape. But before she could conjure even the most ill-judged, ridiculous of ideas, the man drew his sword, roughly grasped Sarri, and pulled her towards him.

"Oh no, it’s happening, it’s going to happen this time!’ Sarri thought. She felt faint.

"Very eager for your…fun, sir," Ha’dar commented.

Kjinli looked into his hooded face.

"You forget your place, Sergeant Ha’dar," he drawled, softly and dangerously.

Ha’dar stammered an apology as the Lieutenant positioned his sword against Sarri’s throat. She struggled weakly, whimpering, but he just held her more firmly. Careful, I'm sensing a little mouth-to-paper happening here. Consider: "She struggled weakly, whimpering. His hold on her became more firm in response". Realizing her attempts were useless, Sarri stopped, hoping she would get chance to kick him in the crotch before it happened.

HAH!

"There is just one thing, Ha’dar."

The tone of her captor had changed completely, losing that horrible, sneering quality.

"Yes, sir?"

"Lieutenant Kjinli has been dead for six months."

OH SNAP. You DEFINITELY nailed the impact factor here. Way to go!

With those words he pushed Sarri down, spun round, and pierced Ha’dar’s chest in one quick, fluid movement.

Looking at the sword protruding from his chest, Ha’dar breathed, "But how?"

In answer, the man withdrew his sword, and muttered a few words. The blood dripping over the hilt and his hand vanished. Sergeant Ha’dar fell to his knees, clasping his hands over his chest in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding. Gasping, he collapsed, and lay still.
Sarri stared at the body. What was going on? First this man was helping her, then about to rape her, then killing the man who had wanted to kill her…And where had these black-cloaked men come from?

Eh, I would consider revising the last few sentences and maybe making them into thoughts. Just a suggestion, though, it sounds a little too thought-y and POV-y for it to be in normal narration.

"Is ‘e…dead?" she squeaked, not knowing what else to say.

The man turned.

"Yes," he replied quietly. "I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I had to keep up the act, or he would have killed you."

Whatever you had to do, broski. At least I still have my virginity (and my life)!

Not knowing how to respond, Sarri kept quiet. The man said something under his breath and made an odd gesture. His face seemed to flicker; then it changed. Instead of a middle-aged, lined face, it became a young one. His hair went from a greying blond to dark brown, almost as dark as Sarri’s own hair. Pasty skin gained an olive tan. In the light of the fire that was once her village, she could even see his eyes alter. They rapidly changed from dull green to a piercing blue, bright as the sky on a clear day.

He noticed her wide eyed stare, and laughed, softly.

"I was using a Glamour," he explained. "It changes your appearance completely, when the spell is cast properly."

My jaw just hit the floor.

Though he seemed to think this explained everything, it meant little to Sarri.

"Oh," she said.

An awkward silence followed.

"Who are you?" she asked eventually.

‘My name is Fen Anniafen. Yours?’

"Sarri. Sarri Kifrosena."

Another awkward silence. Sarri glanced over at Ha’dar’s body, and quickly looked away as her stomach turned. The first thing her eyes landed on was her village. It seemed to be determined to not be ignored. Wiping away tears she had not previously noticed, she stretched out trembling palms.

"It’s too late. You can’t do anything now," Fen told her. When she ignored him, he added, more urgently, "You really shouldn’t do that."

Calling on her magic, she closed her palms. Hot, burning pain shot through her body, making her gasp. It was the last thing she knew.

Seeing Sarri collapse, Fen ran the few steps to her, though he knew she was not in any danger. He had seen this happen before, and done it himself as many times. She had used up too much of her power, and her body was reacting badly to it.

"I told you so," he muttered, quickly checking her for injury.

Sighing, he turned to the fire ravaged village. He didn’t even need to use his powers to investigate it these days; the spell used to create Ha’dar’s fire bombs was too familiar now. Once one village was reduced to ashes, it would expand and consume the land around it for a mile, if left unchecked. Nothing would be left alive in there. Quickly, quietly, he placed a containment spell round the village. The air sparkled every time a flame came too close, pushing it back.

He should have got here quicker. If not for those two cloaked-men he found in the forest, he might have been able to do something. At least those two men wouldn’t start any more fires; they were now ashes as that village would be. And now Ha’dar had told him the location of their camp – with much less pressure than Fen had expected – the rest of his foul little band would be dealt with. Though, the problem was much bigger… Fen ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t think about that, not now. The important thing was to report his information, and get that poor girl to safety.

Fen looked down at her. A quick spell cleaned the soot from her clothes. He could barely believe that the heat from that fire had done little more than mess up her clothes, considering how close she had been when he saw Ha’dar grab her. It was astonishing; her powers were probably completely untrained, but they must have instinctualy protected her, and she had handled a blaze that many with twenty years training would have found trying. It was the shock of such a sight that had made him pause at the edge of the forest, until he had seen Ha’dar.

Fen supposed this was how people had felt about him, when he showed so much magical talent as a child. Paco Magi was going to be interested in this girl. Gods, he was interested, though he had to wonder what made someone with such spectacular powers snap at him as if he was a danger.

Very gently, he picked the girl up. The light of the flames danced across her brown skin, and highlighted dark hair. Fen realised she was tall for her age.

"Let’s get you somewhere safe," he said to the unconscious girl in his arms. "That’s all I wanted to do originally, so don’t worry about me, I’m not that bad. I left my pack in the forest, so we’ll go there. Okay, Sarri." Consider: "Is that okay with you, Sarri?".

Slowly, he trudged off towards the forest, muttering, "Looks like I’ll be taking first watch tonight."