Welcome to Gaia! ::

Thats good that you quit, props!

I've been on Risperdal for the last two years with the dosage recently getting doubled to 2mg. I slept through the first month on it. The twitches only really come back if I am really tired. I've had a few manic episodes where i have ended up in the hospital after taking a few too many of them. I def. do not rec. that as your tongure feels like it is turning inside out and it gets very hard to breathe as your jaw tightens.

I cut myself twice really badly once from things not working out with someone I love and my mom and i got into a fight over me getting a job. I seem to be more clear-headed now but I was pretty scared.

I had some horrendous nightmares and was pretty worried about someone who is more than a friend to me who took over 1300 E pills last year.

With the Risperdal I have not worked out in two years. I heard this is normal for meds. I used to work out every day but i just lost the motivation to completely. I only get exercise from dancing or walking around and my merry paces around the house.

I hear that the clumsiness and lack of motivation go away with time. I got a bike so I am going to try to up my athletic doings this summer.

For anyone who has not read it I recommend they check out this book, the unquiet Mind by Dr. Kay Jameson (sp.) Imagine being bipolar and a doctor. This lady explains her experience. It's nothing you already know but it might have some inisight.

But lately, money has been tight but I've been feeling better about life. The nightmares have gone away again and am comfortable just being.

I finished taking Risperdal last year.

Well, I started Zoloft last year, which is what got me on this crazy roller coaster ride; thanks so much doctor, I could have had a few normal, if slightly depressed years ahead of me.

I tried to do it without medication for about four months, but I got to the point where A: I could no longer get out of bed without either crying or screaming at someone and B: I became so paranoid of my boyfriend I actually considered stalking his ex (btw, people, you'll be happy to know that I was coherent enough to decline the latter.).

Therefore, I went to the doctor and begged him to put me on something for the depression. However, he was worried I'd go manic again, which, to tell you the truth, was the least of my problems, and therefore stuck me on Depakote for a month. I start Lexipro next month, a day that will hopefully live in my mind as the start of a new beginning. If I need to, I may just stop taking the Depakote: I prefer being manic as it's the only time I can be sure that I'm really happy as opposed to just pretending to be (the PTSD on the side is pretty numbing when it comes to emotions).

Problems: a constant hangover-like nausea, severe drunkeness (when they say "do not use with alcohol," they mean it: I totally got trashed off of ONE Smirnoff Twisted), and an inability to produce bodily fluids like spit, tears, and most importantly, lubrication. I'm totally bummed because I went on the medication to help my relationship with my boyfriend, whom I love dearly, but it doesn't help when our sex life is totally trashed. I'm hoping that the Lexipro will balance me out, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

I love it too. We just upped my dosage today. My mother thinks it doesn't work, but the doc said we weren't up to e theraputic dose yet. God, do I love Lamictal...

my meds aren't working


8 pills a day worth of liver damage



and the only thing they do for me



is make me skinnier



which is nice




but really not the point



and i still feel crazy




and i still pull out my hair



because of my meds



i can't take headache medicine




for the pain i cause my head



banging it on wallssssssss

and the ground




i think somehow it's karma



for how badly i treat some people



which



coincidentally is due




to my major mood swings




ironic???????





thank goodness for spirituality





splits the focus




gives me hope





shamanic journies



healing?




no help to meds





meds suck

lithium is so dangerous. i feel so sorry for you. i almost had to take it, as well, but i was re-diagnosed right before i gave in and decided i would give it a try... yeah. ouch. eek

I'm on Abilify, Lamictal, and Prazazone.

I was originally on Geodon. And before that, almost all the SSRI's on the market (apprently my body hates anti-depressents; my psychatirst wouldn't listen to what I was telling him). I've also been on my fair share of sleeping pills (I'm an insomniac and have nightmares).

If anyone has any questions about the medications I've been on feel free to ask.