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 Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 6:14 pm
Thanks. I sort of snapped today because I promised I'd go out with the flatmates tonight, and yet again, I didn't end up getting myself a ticket. And everyone was like "Why?" and to be honest, I wasn't even sure.
Well, I am. I went to the site to buy one, and couldn't stop thinking about how I'd get ignored, and probably end up walking back on my own because nobody would bother checking I was with them, and ... *Sigh*
And then I was thinking "Idiot. University is supposed to be about going out and having fun, not sitting on your own being miserable."
Thank you. ^^ I hope I can snap out of it too. I know what I'm doing wrong, but fixing it is a whole different thing. I feel like I need to do counseling again, but I tried to make out I'd changed once I moved because I didn't want people to think I couldn't cope. And now admitting that I need help feels like a huge failure. If only I was just normal. Arg. *Hugs*
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Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 4:24 pm
Trust me hun, those types of problems are normal for a lot of people.
And there's nothing wrong with needing counseling again. I've heard a good quote before that said something along the lines of, "Why do people seem upset when one changes their mind? People get wiser as time goes on, so if they eventually change their minds, they must be changing them to make a wiser decision than in the past." Ugh... I'm terrible with words... but.. XD;; The point is that realizing that you still do need a counselor is okay, because you've matured enough to change your mind on that. I'm sure those who care for you wouldn't hold it against you, and I'm sure they just want you to find peace. :3
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 5:40 pm
Aww, I'm sorry. Everybody gets like that y'know. *hugs too* I mean, we all have our own problems that is. But you know, recognizing that something is wrong and being able to identify it is the first step towards change. Personally, I have been going through some psychological problems myself and I did start seeing a counselor 3 weeks ago. He told me the same thing. Even though it's hard to change, the fact that you want to, and know that you need to, is a really huge step. So many people just sit in denial their whole lives. It might not be a very easy thing to do, but you really are a big person for recognizing your faults.
Actually, I'm similar to you. I didn't want to go to counseling again because I've already been there and I feel like such a burden. Obviously, he couldn't FIX my problems but he made me feel... normal, y'know... like, maybe I'm not as weird and mental as I thought. So, it's really up to you. But nobody will judge you if you go. In fact, I think more highly of people who can bring themselves to do that. <3
G'luck. *hugs again*
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Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:27 pm
Thanks so much guys. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. heart
Yeah, I have matured since I last did it. I'd probably get more out of it because I've had some time to live as an adult, and work out who I am, and what I actually want to get out of it instead of being miserable and having no clue why or what I should do.
And like you both said, I doubt people would really care if it meant I was sorting myself out. It is better to admit to not doing great but do something about it, than it is to pretend everything is super and not be coping at all.
Aaah, this has been a huge head-clearer. Once again, thank you both. *Grouphug*
The funny thing is, I was thinking of volunteering for the Samaritans a while ago. I like helping other people, I just have a problem with being helped. >>
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 9:30 pm
Awww! *ish grouphugged*
I'm glad we were able to help, and that your head has been cleared. :3 Really, sometimes you just need other people to help you get through things, whether they be a counselor or just some friends online. People can help. I'm glad you're feeling better, and I hope things continue to get better for you. For both of you. <3
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Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 8:19 pm
I'm glad you feel better. I know we can't do a lot, like physically help, but we do care. Yup. Well, I hope things go well for you, k? biggrin
Hehe, and I dunno, I think I'm the opposite when it comes to being helped and helping people. I don't feel very useful when it comes to helping people, but I'm pretty good at asking for help and feeling better just from talking to somebody. Even if they can't give the best advice, or it's ultimately my problem to deal with, it's just nice to hear a supportive voice. <3
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 3:39 am
Haha. We are opposite Akila. I think that way but reversed. I know other people sometimes need someone to just listen to them, but when it's my own problem, I feel like talking won't solve it.
Wow, that makes me sound horribly self-centred. Eh, never made any claim that I wasn't.
Oh and thank you both. I'm sure they will. <3
Anyway, with the other stuff, I talked to my mum on the phone, and she promised to take me to the doctor, so at least I don't have to worry about her being disappointed.
Yeah, people can help. I just worry because I got too reliant on complaining last time, and I don't want it to happen again because a lot of people just got fed up with me. >> But it seems to be going okay, so yay. It's so good to know that people do care. It's a big relief. =] You guys are the best, seriously. heart
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 12:22 pm
Haha, really though? I don't find that self centered at all. D:
I'm glad you called your mom though.
I'm sure people aren't really fed up with you though, maybe you just feel bad for troubling them and then you think that they might be annoyed with you? ... I do that all the time, but I dunno, I'm sure they aren't actually annoyed. If their your friend, I'm sure they'll care about you and wanna help you. (:
That's their job, right? <3
And I like your avi's dress, I sorta want to buy the black one and maybe wear it for that Gaia Prom thing. It sounds silly, but maybe it'll be fun. X3
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 12:37 pm
I'm totally in love with Gaia right now for all of these beautiful dresses. I hope more come. heart
And yes, go. It'll be awesome. x]
Eh, I admit last time I did get a tad whingy. But, live and learn. =]
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 4:03 pm
Haha, I'm actually not a big fan of dresses.. >>; *is somewhat of a tomboy* But, I do really like the dresses they have now. I think I'll dress my avi like a girl for once. And I ended up buying the black one. Couldn't help it. <3
Enh, and I dunno we're all our own biggest critic, really.
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 4:16 pm
@Morgey: I don't think that sounds self-centered either. ^^ Then again, I often think the same way, so that might just be me being biased... >_>;;
Ah, I'm glad you talked to your mom as well. =D And that she reacted well.
It's always good to know that others care about you. ^^ And sometimes people need to be reminded. *hug*
@Akila: I really like the prom dresses too, but I think I'm gonna mimic my own prom and dress up in the 'male' prom clothes. XD;; I can make everyone think I'm a lesbian again! <3
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 4:48 pm
@K-chan: Hahaha, why did I know you'd do that?! :3 But damn, women, I wish I had your guts! Like that wedding I went to the other day, I sooo wanted to trade outfits with my brother and get OUTTA da heels. San Fransisco hills in heels is NOT COOL! D:<
Neh, your avi is always more on the butch side though... so it won't make more of a difference. I think mine is more femme butch though... haha, I guess as far as my avi goes, I go both ways. ^___~
8D
Oh heeey you should lyke, totally be my gaia prom date, dude! Since I'm dressing girly and all, it'll balance it out. ^__~ Tehe, besides, what would I be without my uke-chan. (:<
*evil smirk*
*not sadistic at all*
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 4:54 pm
Meh, my reputation was already ruined the day Kindergarten began, so why bother wearing something I'm not comfortable enough just to avoid a few lesbian comments? XD;;
Awww, femme-butch is cute. XD
OMG I should! XB We'd need to decide on a time to show up together though. We could probably plan it over... *shivers* the phone... I mean, once we decide on a time, we can call each other and make sure we go on the same server at the same time.
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 5:12 pm
That sucks. Kindergarten!? I don't believe it! gonk
Yea, people called me names in middle school. I think I told ya that before - cause I wasn't boy crazy they assumed I was just the opposite. Jerks. >>; Why waste my childhood on dumb hormonal preteen boys anyway!? RIGHT!? Pfft. And even now, I'm young, I dunno how kids my age could settle down already, have some adventure people! Explore the world than become a ******** house wife...
Erm.. sorry, I'm bitter. XD;;
Hahaha! Yay! Okay, DATE. *snort* Oo I can buy you a boutonniere thingy... wut color you be wantin'? My dress is black, so I'm probably gonna get me a red coursage eventually or sumthing like that. :B
Erm, sure. :3 I'll be outta school then, so that works. I don't understand how that Gaia prom thing works yet though, I didn't read much of the announcement, care to explain?
Oo, but hopefully it's better than my real prom, cause that one FAILED.
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