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I'm coming up with songs to act out. I have to act out a song with a partner, in a week and and half.

what?

Ocarina was a human, what the hell do you think happened? stare

well before you got banned, you said Relena died after birthing Saria. stare
so I'm sure what happened now, I'll come up with something later.

yeah...

Well, currently I'm trying to find a few songs to try to act out, and I'm thinking about another story on ocarina's death since my old kinda doesn't work now... so........... I work tomorrow... superbowl sunday, I'm gonna be lifting alot of beer tomorrow. My arms will be sore. I'll tell ya all about it.

I never knew Relena died at the birth of Saria... neutral oh well.

Speaking of sicknesses, I'm sort of catching a cold from my co workers, but I'm fighting it! stressed *pops another vitamin C pill*

*brace yourself for random ranting* <-- will appreciate it if you hear me out though.

I really feel that I need to go back to college again. I'm not exactly sure why. I guess I just feel very uncomfortable with my current situation at work and with life in general. I've noticed that I had gotten very insecure over the past few months, mainly due to the fact that my co workers dislike me. I really don't know what it is to tell you the truth. Everyone back where I used to live loved my personality and women even found my personality charming. However, here in the ghetto, people think differently. You see, I have a very serious personality mixed with sarcastic humor. I don't mess around when I'm not supposed to, like when I'm working. I'm a very diligent worker and I do my job without asking questions. This being the case, I'm extremely quiet at work. I may let out a few sarcastic puns here and there, but I mainly stay focused on the job at hand.

Now I guess people around here don't appreciate that. Instead, they find me arrogant and cold. I'll admit I do have a lot of pride, but it ain't like I'm one of those sniveling brown-noser businessmen. As for being cold, I'll admit stress puts me in a really bad mood sometimes, and I tend to snap at people when I'm in one of those moods, but doesn't everyone? Just because I have bad days doesn't mean I can be labeled as "the cold-hearted a*****e".

Honestly? I'm hurting. I'm hurting bad, emotionally. And I have absolutely 0 support from anyone. My parents just make things worse and my sister is too busy wrapped up in her own life to care about my problems. None of my friends live near me, my close family members also live very far away. I hardly have any time to myself and I spend most of my time at work, which is what is stressing me out in the first place. All I can do is hold my head up high and basically say "******** you" to all of my co workers. Though the more I act that way, the more I feel like the bad guy.

*sigh*

I just don't know what to do anymore...I need to find another job, but it's hard to find one and I want something that pays me more then what I'm getting payed here. I want something nearby too, but that's pretty much out of the question since I live in the ghetto and your life is at risk no matter where you work in this shithole of a city.

I feel like I'm losing myself. Like I'm becoming very insecure and cynical towards the world. I don't even think I'm capable of loving anyone or anything anymore. I have not socialized with anyone in the outside world for a couple of months now. It kinda feels like I've forgotten to socialize too.

damnit...I wish I lived out in the country or something, where I'd be able to just go out into the wilderness and work out, go hiking, explore...as well as practice some kind of skill such as target practice, martial arts, etc. But no...I'm ******** stuck in this piece of crap city that has absolutely NOTHING to do in it. Is filled with gangsters, druggies, and lowlifes. Trapped by the chains my mother wraps me in. I feel like a caged bird in a deep cave.

Even if I did break free...where will I fly?

Anyway, I'm through ranting. I apologize if this is annoying anybody. I just needed to get it off my chest and hopefully get a little positive feedback from my "internet family".

Ark has a very good point. Make sure if you go to school. be sure you absolutely, posivity, 100% want to go back. College will take even more time out of your life. But if yo do, might I suggest a community college? It may have a few less then colorful people there, but they're all there for the same thing, and its AFFORDABLE. As for support, I understand the feeling. I was in a pretty bad funk myself about half a year ago. The world never was darker. But that went away when I got a job. Strange, by having to go to school, and go to work, I was given less time to myself, but I was no onger depressed. I still get stressed, but not depressed. I really wish I could be there for ya, but I have a busy scedule myself, plus no car. and with my looks, I'd probably be stabbed three steps into your hood.
But you know that your online family will always support, and strange as it may seem, there's really real people on the other end of the computer. I agree, the country is alot less stressful then the city, I mean, South Dekota is the least stressed state in the USA.
I hope you're making a decent wage. If at all possible, put ten percent of your paychecks into a saving account. After awhile, you'll have money there to save your a** on a rainy day.
As for family, I wish I could help, but that is a personal matter that only you can manage, unless you go to Dr. Phil, or God forbid, Jerry Springer. Never the less, look at it this way, you think its bad now, well, then you have a chance to change things.
I don't know if there's extenuating circumstances keeping you where you are, but there's always places to go. You just have to be willing to take a chance at running into the uncertain. If you're sure that the place you're running to is better than the place you're in now, then it is worth it to go. That is true both literally and figuritively. I hope you can take something out of this. Good luck Lonewolf, I'm rooting for ya.
Now I gotta go to work. Its raining, and its superbpwl sunday, so the supermarket is gonna busy, I'll be moving carts in the rain, and lifting beer all day, but.... it could be worse I suppose. Could be X-mas again. Bye.