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That's no good Chalda. cry

Sorry no details at the moment. Mostly because there is absolutely nothing that can be done. I always thought I could work hard to get myself out of any problem. I've found one I can't. But thank you both for caring.

The owl will fly when the rabbit gets his ears back...

Soleq: I'd like to take this oppurtinity to boast that I don't have kids and you have to stay up all night. So haha. Ok, good enough for me. You can do the same when I get little bastards too.

Chalda: That sucks, whatever it might be.

Laural: Read between the lines. If you can't, make your own s**t up for it. xd



I think that's the hottest picture I've seen all week. I can just stare and stare at it. Though, to give myself some dignity points, I can do that with pretty much everything.

On to my life. You know I wanted to go into a lot of detail about this. Yesterday I was thinking it might help me. But I don't really feel like it right now haha. Um. You know that girl for formal? So, I've been kind of... Infatuated with her ever since. I think she's greatest woman I've ever met. I know I'll never be with her. And that's the most depressing thing in the world right now. Not to mention this song is too. Whatever might happen in the future, I hope she has a great life. She deserves it.

I studied cannabis for like three hours last night and I'm right back on it today. It's the most missinformed thing. It's really insane. A lot of people have to just stop being reactionaries about it.

I want to know how many guys know what I'm trying to say when I say: "She's beautiful." Apparently, only guys understand it. Girls like... Missed that memo or something.

*runs out of the room*

That's how I've felt for the last week.

my first rant and a good one. reda on;

hate life. it brings things up that consume me. tacke my life out with nuthing close to remourse. last night was one of those bouts. it kills me evrey day to suffer as i have.it burns me to the core. then things pile up. and up and up. then i lose it. or at least i used to. now i control it to the point where i dont get vilent. no i end up having mental break downs instead. it kills me to see me like that. when i get that way its like im not in this world and yet not in my own personel world i tend to escape to. no im in one of ever coursing pain. my mind withers with the force. my brother, my father, my grendpa, the time i was a GHB, the time i actually let the rage loose. the hount me, but when i have a break down it almost breacks my soal becuse it comes with so much force it all seems hoples and the goal i search for seems none existent. ist none existent? thats what i wonder today. will i eventeualy die a lonly and crazed old fool with all but his pain and the world he creats around him to keep him alive till i can embrace deaths lovley hands and see those i care most about agin. i think this alot lately. whether i shuld quicken the envaitableity of my demise and just end it. but i dont becuse i know there a few souls out there just like me. acting difrint to there own acourd but still slightly the same do a slightly commen past. that is why i dont end it. to help those like me who have not reached a control such as mine and look fore those with a controll greater then mione i can learn from. but still thoughts, events and things i need that i dont and very plosable my never have consume my mind on a reguler basis. but to see those like me in need of help i search. controlling those things i feeel in hopes of events like last night to transpire far less. that is my only hope. for my mom always and is still saying this " the things you went through no human of your age should go through. your being given this hardship to becume somthing great. what no one knows but somthing great and uniq." ya it my be true. but i cant help but think if all i feel every day and evrey day of my past is nuthin more than an incling of wht the futer will bring. that my be my future is nuthing but pain and sarow. is it? or is it not? i have no choice but to live to see the treue outcome of this life where ive never hade a child hood or teen years. where when i was 4 i hade thing thrust upon me that only some one 45 or older should experienc as well as atrocitys no human soul should ever see, feel, experience or in my case suffer for so long from. wel from the toruterd soul of Jason Mathew Wood all i can say is my your life never be as bad as mine is and was and may you find true happiness and frendship with those around you unlike me who hats the large majurity of the souls in this world.

Yeah, that's life for yah. You try and swim to the top and when you get there it'll kick you in the face.

Try doing things that you like to do and make you happy.