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 Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 1:49 pm
Carlos Ralfer @Faeyas Ok, thats a nice one. Just at one point, it looked like your character was thinking about something at one point. Thought is displayed using Italics. (the part about step lightly). I don't have the authority to pass you but I think you should pass. @Giabari >.> only Kinami will gripe about misspelling ...I can't spell worth a crap either. Just use something like Microsoft Word or something if your a REALLY bad speller. Anyway, it seems decent although your sentences could use some work. Like the first one. It's a long drawn out sentence that would be better if it was broken up (probably at the point after the words "big exam".) This is really odd because your next couple of sentences are rather short. Other than that, seems ok. Hope you pass.
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 1:51 pm
kazaya mura My RPC name is Homa Yun (Homa means Fire monster xd ) I'm srry but I have'nt picked a village yet but will get right on it. Rp Sample:Homa had been craving for something but did'nt know what it was. "What is it that I want? There is an emptiness inside of me that has been surpressed for so long."He thought to himself as he scratched his head. Homa stood up, ready to leave his abode for the day and maybe pick up a job that he wanted his entire life. "Today is the day that I join the academy." He said with a blank expression on his face. "I will kill anyone that gets in the way of my path, to stop me of becoming a ninja."
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 1:53 pm
Faeyas RP Sample:
She leapt into the darkness of the trees, the chilled wind blowing in her face. Step lightly, make little sound, she was taught. Too bad she usually forgot....
CRASH!
"Itai!" She whined. The small branch she had attempted to land on had no chance to support her as it crumbled under the pressure, sending Kawa into the bushes below.
She attempted to get out of the bushes, but only with the scrapes of the leaves that wanted to hold onto her. Kawa Ishida, the youngest of the Ishida family, and by far the clumsiest. It would be a miracle if she managed to become a Genin any time soon, but she refused to give up. She would become a ninja one day. She swore she’d make her father proud.
She gradually stood up under the pain and once again, leapt into the darkness above...
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 1:55 pm
RawrsFearMe .(.Kitsune_Masakazu.). RawrsFearMe Rp Sample!!!:Kiro walked through. I'm so freaking tired, maybe I should have slept longer... He walked into the Ramen Shop, "Maybe something interesting will happen..." He sat down, "I'll order... whatever, you choose." He didn't care what he ate all that much. He eat a lot anyways. He was just staying there to take up some time. "Nothing much has happened over the past few days..." complained Kiro. Day One, Boredom. Day 2, Boredom. Day 3, Boredom. He sighed, "Something will happen sooner or later, right?" _____________________________________________________________ If I did something wrong, I apoligize a whole bunch, and I'll fix it right away. ^^
Can you please make some corrections? I'll pass you after that.
If I didn't, could you bold what I did wrong?
I'm not good at sighting problems in my writing....
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 1:57 pm
Giabari Here goes...My character's name is Hemaku RP SAMPLEHemaku was studying for his big exam. Although everyone else already knew everything, Hemaku decided to wait till the last minute to study. Hemaku was getting ready to finally become a Genin. The test was in two days. As he came across fatal areas his window shattered with a loud crash. two jounin from the sound village were standing in the street below looking up. Hemaku already knew these two posed a threat to him. One had kunai and the other had a shruiken, both looking up at Hemaku. Hemaku acted naturally and threw two kunai as fast and accurate as possible. But unfortunately, the jounin were much too fast to be hit with his lame attempts. I spelled the best I could. Sorry if there are any misspelled
Also, let me take this moment to point out- do NOT delete posts. You'll get in trouble for it.
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 2:22 pm
.(.Kitsune_Masakazu.). Giabari Here goes...My character's name is Hemaku RP SAMPLEHemaku was studying for his big exam. Although everyone else already knew everything, Hemaku decided to wait till the last minute to study. Hemaku was getting ready to finally become a Genin. The test was in two days. As he came across fatal areas his window shattered with a loud crash. two jounin from the sound village were standing in the street below looking up. Hemaku already knew these two posed a threat to him. One had kunai and the other had a shruiken, both looking up at Hemaku. Hemaku acted naturally and threw two kunai as fast and accurate as possible. But unfortunately, the jounin were much too fast to be hit with his lame attempts. I spelled the best I could. Sorry if there are any misspelled
Also, let me take this moment to point out- do NOT delete posts. You'll get in trouble for it.sorry about that...after I posted it I realized it could be taken as spam.
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 2:26 pm
^_^ ok here i will do my rping sample and my persons name is sukamoto(if the name is used im really sorry)
As Sukamoto enters the large grey building he sees many people. He realizes that he is not alone. As he turned back he saw an interesting man. Just a man with a thing on his head. That man came over to Sukamoto and said the most wounderful words he could hear. He said " You were destined for being what I am today, a ninja. Use this skill for the greater of your country people and all but be warned there are going to be many foes against you so watch out."
As the old man disappears leaving only smoke Sukamoto realizes his destiny was to be a ninja. He also realizes that the thing on his head was a ninja band as the man he talked to was a profesional ninja. As he realizes he had the power since he was born he decided to try it out. He ran on trees. he bounced from ceiling to ceiling but when he tried to use his chakara he blew up. He had realizes he was not yet ready to be a ninja so he traveled quickly to the RPing capital, to the great area of ninjas who are only acadamy ninja and showed his stuff. Hopefully Sukamoto will be a great ninja, but only over time his he be able to accept the worthiess of being a ninja.
^_^ i hope this is good enough to pass. If it is not i will work on another piece^_^
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 2:42 pm
Giabari sorry about that...after I posted it I realized it could be taken as spam.
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 2:45 pm
hell_life ^_^ ok here i will do my rping sample and my persons name is sukamoto(if the name is used im really sorry) As Sukamoto enters the large grey building he sees many people. He realizes that he is not alone. As he turned back he saw an interesting man. Just a man with a thing on his head. That man came over to Sukamoto and said the most wounderful words he could hear. He said " You were destined for being what I am today, a ninja. Use this skill for the greater of your country people and all but be warned there are going to be many foes against you so watch out." As the old man disappears leaving only smoke Sukamoto realizes his destiny was to be a ninja. He also realizes that the thing on his head was a ninja band as the man he talked to was a profesional ninja. As he realizes he had the power since he was born he decided to try it out. He ran on trees. he bounced from ceiling to ceiling but when he tried to use his chakara he blew up. He had realizes he was not yet ready to be a ninja so he traveled quickly to the RPing capital, to the great area of ninjas who are only acadamy ninja and showed his stuff. Hopefully Sukamoto will be a great ninja, but only over time his he be able to accept the worthiess of being a ninja. ^_^ i hope this is good enough to pass. If it is not i will work on another piece^_^ You switch tenses many different times, for one thing. For another, your sentences are sometimes confusing. They're also pretty choppy and hard to keep track of, so...yeah. If you could at least do something about the confusing sentences, and also make sure that you're in the same tense throughout, I'll pass you.
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 2:54 pm
hell_life ^_^ ok here i will do my rping sample and my persons name is sukamoto(if the name is used im really sorry) As Sukamoto enters the large grey building he sees many people. He realizes that he is not alone. As he turned back he saw an interesting man. Just a man with a thing on his head. That man came over to Sukamoto and said the most wounderful words he could hear. He said " You were destined for being what I am today, a ninja. Use this skill for the greater of your country people and all but be warned there are going to be many foes against you so watch out." As the old man disappears leaving only smoke Sukamoto realizes his destiny was to be a ninja. He also realizes that the thing on his head was a ninja band as the man he talked to was a profesional ninja. As he realizes he had the power since he was born he decided to try it out. He ran on trees. he bounced from ceiling to ceiling but when he tried to use his chakara he blew up. He had realizes he was not yet ready to be a ninja so he traveled quickly to the RPing capital, to the great area of ninjas who are only acadamy ninja and showed his stuff. Hopefully Sukamoto will be a great ninja, but only over time his he be able to accept the worthiess of being a ninja. ^_^ i hope this is good enough to pass. If it is not i will work on another piece^_^ As Sukamoto enters the large grey building he sees many people. Sukamoto realizes that he is not alone. As Sukamoto turned back he saw an interesting man. Just a man with a thing on his head. That man came over to Sukamoto and said the most wounderful words that yound man could ever hear. The strange man said " You were destined for being what I am today, a ninja. Use this skill for the greater of your country people and all but be warned there are going to be many foes against you so watch out." As the old man disappears leaving only smoke that lasted a second, Sukamoto realizes his destiny was to be a ninja. He realizes that the thing on his head was a ninja band as the man he talked to was a profesional ninja. Soon when Sukamoto thought about what that strange man was talking about, Sukamoto realizes he has a strange power since he was born. Sukamoto feels the energy though him and jumps. He went the same hight as he would usually go but when he looked down he saw how high he really went. With that he understood the old man. He ran on trees. he bounced from ceiling to ceiling of the near by buildings for fun, but when he tried to use his chakara he blew up. He had realizes he was not yet ready to be a ninja so he traveled quickly to the RPing capital, to the great area of ninjas who are only acadamy ninja and showed his stuff. Hopefully Sukamoto will be a great ninja, but only over time his he be able to accept the worthiess of being a ninja. lol wow you are really good at your job, you can find anything... ya well those 2 things you said happaned to be my weak points. I am not good at english. I am not a good paragraph maker and correcter but i try hard and here is the newer piece (i get that from my dads' side 'cause he is not from an English speaking country)
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 2:57 pm
Note: things in parenthesis are to explain why i am bad, not to gain any pity points at all!
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 3:03 pm
hell_life hell_life ^_^ ok here i will do my rping sample and my persons name is sukamoto(if the name is used im really sorry) As Sukamoto enters the large grey building he sees many people. He realizes that he is not alone. As he turned back he saw an interesting man. Just a man with a thing on his head. That man came over to Sukamoto and said the most wounderful words he could hear. He said " You were destined for being what I am today, a ninja. Use this skill for the greater of your country people and all but be warned there are going to be many foes against you so watch out." As the old man disappears leaving only smoke Sukamoto realizes his destiny was to be a ninja. He also realizes that the thing on his head was a ninja band as the man he talked to was a profesional ninja. As he realizes he had the power since he was born he decided to try it out. He ran on trees. he bounced from ceiling to ceiling but when he tried to use his chakara he blew up. He had realizes he was not yet ready to be a ninja so he traveled quickly to the RPing capital, to the great area of ninjas who are only acadamy ninja and showed his stuff. Hopefully Sukamoto will be a great ninja, but only over time his he be able to accept the worthiess of being a ninja. ^_^ i hope this is good enough to pass. If it is not i will work on another piece^_^ As Sukamoto enters the large grey building he sees many people. Sukamoto realizes that he is not alone. As Sukamoto turned back he saw an interesting man. Just a man with a thing on his head. That man came over to Sukamoto and said the most wounderful words that yound man could ever hear. The strange man said " You were destined for being what I am today, a ninja. Use this skill for the greater of your country people and all but be warned there are going to be many foes against you so watch out." As the old man disappears leaving only smoke that lasted a second, Sukamoto realizes his destiny was to be a ninja. He realizes that the thing on his head was a ninja band as the man he talked to was a profesional ninja. Soon when Sukamoto thought about what that strange man was talking about, Sukamoto realizes he has a strange power since he was born. Sukamoto feels the energy though him and jumps. He went the same hight as he would usually go but when he looked down he saw how high he really went. With that he understood the old man. He ran on trees. he bounced from ceiling to ceiling of the near by buildings for fun, but when he tried to use his chakara he blew up. He had realizes he was not yet ready to be a ninja so he traveled quickly to the RPing capital, to the great area of ninjas who are only acadamy ninja and showed his stuff. Hopefully Sukamoto will be a great ninja, but only over time his he be able to accept the worthiess of being a ninja. lol wow you are really good at your job, you can find anything... ya well those 2 things you said happaned to be my weak points. I am not good at english. I am not a good paragraph maker and correcter but i try hard and here is the newer piece (i get that from my dads' side 'cause he is not from an English speaking country)
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 3:07 pm
.(.Kitsune_Masakazu.). hell_life hell_life ^_^ ok here i will do my rping sample and my persons name is sukamoto(if the name is used im really sorry) As Sukamoto enters the large grey building he sees many people. He realizes that he is not alone. As he turned back he saw an interesting man. Just a man with a thing on his head. That man came over to Sukamoto and said the most wounderful words he could hear. He said " You were destined for being what I am today, a ninja. Use this skill for the greater of your country people and all but be warned there are going to be many foes against you so watch out." As the old man disappears leaving only smoke Sukamoto realizes his destiny was to be a ninja. He also realizes that the thing on his head was a ninja band as the man he talked to was a profesional ninja. As he realizes he had the power since he was born he decided to try it out. He ran on trees. he bounced from ceiling to ceiling but when he tried to use his chakara he blew up. He had realizes he was not yet ready to be a ninja so he traveled quickly to the RPing capital, to the great area of ninjas who are only acadamy ninja and showed his stuff. Hopefully Sukamoto will be a great ninja, but only over time his he be able to accept the worthiess of being a ninja. ^_^ i hope this is good enough to pass. If it is not i will work on another piece^_^ As Sukamoto enters the large grey building he sees many people. Sukamoto realizes that he is not alone. As Sukamoto turned back he saw an interesting man. Just a man with a thing on his head. That man came over to Sukamoto and said the most wounderful words that yound man could ever hear. The strange man said " You were destined for being what I am today, a ninja. Use this skill for the greater of your country people and all but be warned there are going to be many foes against you so watch out." As the old man disappears leaving only smoke that lasted a second, Sukamoto realizes his destiny was to be a ninja. He realizes that the thing on his head was a ninja band as the man he talked to was a profesional ninja. Soon when Sukamoto thought about what that strange man was talking about, Sukamoto realizes he has a strange power since he was born. Sukamoto feels the energy though him and jumps. He went the same hight as he would usually go but when he looked down he saw how high he really went. With that he understood the old man. He ran on trees. he bounced from ceiling to ceiling of the near by buildings for fun, but when he tried to use his chakara he blew up. He had realizes he was not yet ready to be a ninja so he traveled quickly to the RPing capital, to the great area of ninjas who are only acadamy ninja and showed his stuff. Hopefully Sukamoto will be a great ninja, but only over time his he be able to accept the worthiess of being a ninja. lol wow you are really good at your job, you can find anything... ya well those 2 things you said happaned to be my weak points. I am not good at english. I am not a good paragraph maker and correcter but i try hard and here is the newer piece (i get that from my dads' side 'cause he is not from an English speaking country) lol it seems like that but i added terms of 3rd person and made it a little more understandable by also adding that extra line or two i made it a bit more clear.
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 3:17 pm
.(.Kitsune_Masakazu.). Giabari sorry about that...after I posted it I realized it could be taken as spam. yes ma'am, I'll do that next time.
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