Welcome to Gaia! ::

IT'S HERE! IT'S FINALLY HERE!

The Erik and Daroga Honeymoon

~~Starring (So to speak)~~

Erik--Groom
Daroga--Groom
Alexandra--Professional Singing Punjabber
Christine--Still has a hangover from the wedding
The Three Foperinas--On the same vacation for having "great" hair

~~The Documentary Crew~~
Phantom of Music (PoM)--Professional Punjabber, singer, and pain in Daroga's a**
Kitsune--Writer and Pepper Sprayer
Roses--Photographer and Sleeping Gasser
Storm--Videographer and Cattle Prodder
Youko--Tape Recorder Person and Stun Gunner
Raven--Undercover With a camera in her dress; carries a Taser
Syrena--Threw the whole thing together; another Punjabber, though far from professional, in serious danger of being killed because this took so long

Little Note from Syrena: Everything in Dark Blue was Phantom of Music's idea. Just giving credit where credit is due, you'll see why later.

A little note: We were at New Orleans before Katrina hit, and Christine donated her prize money from vegas to the relief fund instead of making more vodka cookies.

--AT THE AIRPORT--


Roses: Wait a second, how the hell are we supposed to get through security with all these punjabs?
Youko: I was wondering the same thing.
Airport security person: ALright, please put your shoes, bags, and belts into the X-ray machine...*sees Erik* Ummm.....sir?
Erik: *raises eyebrow* Yes?
ASP: You'll have to remove your mask and place it in the X-ray machine.
Kitsune: Oh, crap! *mace-ifys him* forget the X-rays, let's GO!
Everyone: *runs to the gate and boards the plane*

--ON THE PLANE--

Flight attendant: *walks over with drink order sheet* What can I get you?
Daroga: Gingerale.
Erik: I don't know, what do you have?
FA: Oh, everything
Erik: Really, then could you get me a bottle of that lovely vodka they served me at the Restaraunt last month?
FA: eek *she was there the night Alexandra blew up the restaraunt*
Alexandra: Err...he means gingerale!
Erik: Hey! What are you doing in here?
Youko: *Walks over in Flight attendant Uniform* *to FA* Uh, this is my section. You're serving coach seating.
FA: *looking relieved* Oh...
Flight Attendant!Youko: So, what can I get you?
Erik: I'm still wondering about that vodka.
Youko: Sure.
Erik: *gets pretty wasted*

--AT NEW ORLEANS--

Erik: *already wasted from the plane*
Daroga: *has no idea what's going on*
Christine: *is not there at the moment*
Random Drunk Phangirl: WOOO! HEY ERIK! FLASH!
Erik: *takes off mask*
Everyone else: *screams*
Documentary Crew: *drag Erik and Daorga back to the airport*
(meanwhile)
Fabio: DADDY!!! THAT LADY GOT DRUNK AND THREW UP IN MY HAIR! WAAHHH!
Raoul Fop-Face: OH NO! Hurry! Let's get on the airplane before anyone sees!

--ON THE PLANE TO DISNEYLAND--
Stupid Flight Attendant: And I'm sorry to say that the flight has been canceled due to a bizarre incident involving the captain and a lethal dose of hairspray.
Pierre: His hair was HIDEOUS! It was an improvment!
Raven: *runs into bathroom and puts on a pilot outfit* No, it has not been canceled! I am the replacement captain! *gets into cockpit and turns on Seatbelt light*
DC: Oh, GOD. eek

--THREE HORRIFYING HOURS AND ONE TERROR ALERT LATER--

DC: *get off plane looking very sick*
Pilot!Raven: Thank you for flying Punjab Interdimensional, please exit through the front door, and welcome to Disneyland! xd
ALexandra: Remind me again why she's here?
Raven: *tases limo driver and swaps uniforms* *pulls limo up to Erik, Daroga, and DC*
Storm: I think that's why.

--DISNEYLAND--
Erik: *recovers from hangover*
Daroga: Hey, doesn't that creepy house over there look kind of like the...
DC: *collective gasp*
Storm: *readjusts zoom on video camera* You think we should?
Youko: *adjusts the volume on the mics she has on E&D* Oh, yes.
DC: *run into the Haunted Mansion ride and put on a few creepy costumes*
Erik: You think we should see what's in there?
Daroga: If it gets us any farther from them.
E&D: *get in the mansion ride*

~~Mansion Ride~~

Erik: *walks into ride and sees creepy face in the car behind him*
Creepy Face: *actually Kitsune in a creepy face costume* Hey, how's it goin'?
Erik: Oh, just fine.
Creepy face!Kitsune: You're not scared?
Erik: *discreetly takes off mask so only CF!Kitsune can see* In case you haven't noticed, not alot scares me.
Dead carriage driver!Roses: it looks like you're gonna fit right in. ONWARD!
Ride: *commences*
Daroga: Hey, Erik, have you noticed we're the only ones on this ride who aren't part of the creepiness?
Erik: Actually, I think you're the only one.
PoM: *jumps out of wall in creepy zombie outfit* BOO!
Erik: Damn, who does your hair? I mean, I know it's a costume, but...
Z!PoM: IT'S NOT PART OF THE COSTUME! *pulls out punjab*
DCD!Roses: NO! *tackles Z!PoM PoM*
Daroga: Okay, who's driving this thing?
Youko: *throws on werewolf-type costume and jumps into the driver's seat* Me!
Dead Princess Ghost!Raven: I wanted to drive!
Samurai Armor!Storm: Not after the plane.
DPG!Raven: crying *sniff*
SA!Storm: Here, have a cookie. I made a fresh batch.
DPG!Raven: YAY! *inhales cookie*
Christine: Ooh! Let me have some! *grabs plate*
Vampire!Alexandra: This better not interfere with the plans for later.
Crystal Ball Head Person!Syrena: Knowing her, it will.
CF!Kitsune: Hey, how's your head floating like that?
CBHP!Syrena: Never mind.

~~Back outside~~

Erik: What's that thing over there?
Daorga: Looks like a...pirate ship.
DC: *gasp* *put on pirate costumes and drag E&D to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride* Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!
E&D: Looks like we don't have a choice.

~~Pirates of the Caribbean Ride~~

DC: *miraculously know every verse to A Pirates LIfe for Me*
E&D: *are getting pretty annoyed*
Roses: Hey, isn't that Jack Sparrow?
Kitsune: It's Captain Jack Sparrow.
Youko: It is. What the hell is he doing? And why is he on the floor? And what's that weird noise? Is he passed out or something?
Storm: This'll wake him up. *tosses a bottle of rum at him*
Jack Sparrow: *stands up* *stumbles around in his usual Jack Sparrowish manner* I smell rum. Where's the rum? Oh, here it is. *takes a swig of rum*
Raven: What on earth were you doing?
Jack Sparrow: *stops drinking rum and turns slightly red* Erm...nothing, love, just...taking a little nap. A bit too much rum, I suppose.
Will Turner: *stands up from exactly where Jack was* You got that right.
Alexandra: Pretty loud nap, if you ask me.
Jack Sparrow: Yes, well, I'm afraid no one asked you, love.
Will Turner: Give me some of that. *takes a swig of rum*
Erik: This looks questionable to me.
Daroga: Indeed. It almost crosses that line we talked about at the wedding.
Syrena: Yes, that line into the realm of...
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!
E, D, & DC: PATHETIC YAOI!!!!
PoM PoM: Hey! At least it was in blue!

~~Back Outside~~

Daroga: You know, those pirate girls sitting behind us were really irritating. You don't think...
Erik: I think I've lost the ability. Where to next?
DC: *dressed as princesses* To the teacups!
E&D: But-
Princess!DC: We insist! *drag them along*
Daroga: *looks at Sleeping Beauty!Alexandra* Do I know you? And is that a...camera in your dress?
SB!Alexandra: I don't know what you're talking about. *throws him into a cup*
Jasmine!Storm: *throws Erik in*
Erik: Doesn't that girl look alot like one of the groomsmaids at the---
Mulan!Syrena: AAH! *mashes MAXIMUM SPEED button*
Teacups: *spin uncontrollably*
Erik's mask: *flies off and lodges into a wall*
Ride: *stops*
People: *scream*
Snow White!Roses: Oh, sh- *runs over and begins pulling the mask out of the wall as fast as she can*
Random Security Dude: Sir, I'm going to have to take you int ocustody for disturbing the peace and illegal posession or rum-
Syrena: *runs over, punjabs him, and throws him into the nearest lake*
Erik: What was that?
Belle!Kitsune: It's a game! Called...
Cinderella!Youko: Chinese water torture! 4laugh
Ariel!PoM PoM: Sure...whatever...
Erik: I see. can we go somewhere a little less...painful?
PoM PoM: I've got just the thing! *abducts Erik and drags him off*
Daroga: *gets abducted by Raven*
Rest of the DC: *follows*

~~At the Next Ride~~

Erik: *gets shoved in*
Daroga: Maybe this will be better than those infernal teacups.
Doors: *open*
Little Dolls: It's a small world after all...
E&D: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *try to punjab little dolls*
DC: Oh, no ya dont! *hold them back*
E&D: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Christine: *inhales a whole vodka cookie* You'll ruin your singing voice if you keep that up.

~~Back at the Hotel~~

E&D's room: *is rigged with mics and cameras connected to the DC's room*
Erik: *looks around the room* How the heck did we wind up in Disney World?
Daroga: With our tour guides, I don't think I want to know.
The DC: *is in the room next door*
Chrisine, Alexandra, Syrena, and PoM PoM: *have opened the air vent to E&D's room and are singing through*
Christine: *has inhaled one too many vodka cookies*
PoM, A, & S: It's a smal world after all, It's a small world after all...
Christine: IiIiIt'shhh a schmallll-hic-wuurrrllld after-hicalllllLLLLLLLLllllllLLLLLLLLlllllllllllll *falls over*
Daroga: WILL YOU SHUT UP?
Erik: AAAHHHH! THE VOICES! THEY'RE BACK!
Storm: Raven, go!
Maid!Raven: *walks into E*D's room with a camera in her little maid hat*
Storm, Kitsune, and Youko: *are in the other room, watching the footage, having the time of their lives*
S, PoM, & A: *continue to sing*
Christine: *is passed out*
Raven: Can I help you?
Daroga: Can you tell those idiots to SHUT UP?????
Erik: Indeed! We're trying to sno-I mean sha-I mean SLEEP!
Raven: Woah, careful. You almost crossed that line again.
PoM: *stops signing* Hey! At least it was in blue again!
Erik: Oh, good. She stopped.
PoM: Oh, that's right. *resumes singing*
Daroga: *has called Room Service* WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF EARPLUGS?

--LAS FREAKING VEGAS--

Erik: So what do you do here, anyway?
Alexandra: Haven't you ever played Gambino slots on Gaia?
Erik: Gaia? Is that where all your freaky friends came from? Wait, HOW DID YOu GET HERE?
Roses: Beside the point. The point is, you gamble your money and see if you win anything.
Storm: If you win, you get more money.
Youko: If you lose, we punjab the people working here and you still get more money.
Daroga: *walks in looking slightly used and mostly confused* Man, there are some WEIRD people here. Alot of overdressed homeless girls, too. They walk around in fishnets and ask for money, but they don't want spare change, they want five hundred!
Foperinas: Oh, Erik! 4laugh
Erik: *resists the urge to punjab* Yesss? stare
Foperinas: We forgot to give you our wedding presents! 4laugh
Erik: eek
Pierre: I got you coffee cream!
Fabio: I got you whipped cream!
Raoul: I got you hair cream!
Erik: You would, wouldn't you?
Christine: *gets dragged out of the bar* Man, I want to go back in there! They've got the same-hic-punch from the weddinggggggggg! *close to tears*
Kitsune: Oh, God. Let's leave while she's still sober, and get herinto AA while we're at it.

--NASA SPACE CENTER--

Instructer Dude: And, uh, i-if your shuttle leaks, fasten your helmet like this...
Storm: *standing behind him with a cattle prod* On with it!
ID: God, I should have kept my job as a wedding singer! And, uh...push the red button! Uh...do you have insurance?
Daroga: What's insurance?
Erik: Never mind. Technically, we're not supposed to know what a space shuttle is.
Daroga: I don't know what a space shuttle is.

--ON THE SHUTTLE--

Erik: This feels strange.
Daroga: Zero-G is great! Everything floats! Including...your mask...
Erik: We're three million miles away from anyone. I doubt it matters.
DC: *working mission control*
Alexandra: Oh, it matters to us.
Raven: Hey, adjust the zoom on that camera.
Storm: I would, but it's floating aroun--OH, CRAP, ERIK FOUND IT.
Syrena: ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

--THE FLORIDA KEYS--

Quick note: This is a cruise.

Erik: *looks around cabin* Well, at least there aren't any cameras in here.
Daroga: Yeah, but there seem to be alot of seashells on the walls.
Erik: Yeah, but that wone looks strange...Hey, wait, that's a microphone! *punches*
Youko: *gets an ear full of feedback* AAH!
Kitsune: *taking notes* Oh, dear. They seem to have found us out... *resumes taking notes*
E&D: *are now punching every seashell in the room*
Storm: NOOO! My cameras! My beautiful cameras!
Pierre and Raoul: You think you've got it bad! Fabio's got a crab in his hair!
The rest of the DC: *punjab, stun gun, pepper spray, etc.*
E&D: *come in with knockout gas and a pair of scissors* We're willing to forgive you if you let us join.
Alexandra: What's with the scissors?
Roses: Oh, I know. They're gonna give them all haircuts so bad, they'll go into hiding until it grows out.
Syrena: I knew I brought that neon-colored hairspray for a reason.
Foperinas: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Everyone else: *attacks*

--CUE THE CREDITS!--

~~Outtakes/ideas~~

~Foperina Hircuts~

Rainbow mohawk
Little seaweed-colored nest with the crab sitting in the middle
Clown hair
Shaved head with a tie-dye scalp
Army-style buzz cut (trust me, NOTHING UGLIER)
Five-Inch Fuchisa Porcupine-Spikes
Flaming Fedoras (remember the Restaraunt?)

~~Small World Quartet~~

*sings*

Yo ho, yo ho, a Phantom's life for me!

When you wish upon a mask...

~~Technical Difficulties~~

Storm: My cameras! My Beautiful-AAH! *trips on a camera wire and falls over*

Youko: *listening to mic feedback*
Erik: *picks up his mic* I see dead people.
Youko: AAH!

Raven: I'm the replacement captain!
Alexandra: Hon, you're dressed as a pirate. That's not until Disneyland.

Christine: Hey, Kitsune, what do you have so far?
Kitsune: I'm getting it done, don't worry.
Christine: *looks over her shoulder* That's a drawing of a hamster.
Kitsune: IT'S A PRETTY HAMSTER!

Roses: *looking in through the air vent to E&D's Hotel room after the quartet went back to the technical equipment* Oh, this'll get me a fortune! *snap*
Alexandra: Um, hon...
Roses: SSHHH! This is great!
Alexandra: *takes off lens cap* Try it again.
Roses: Oh...

PoM PoM: *sitting behind Erik on the Pirates ride* When we get back, can I drive hte gondola?
Erik: No.
PoM PoM: Can I sex up Christine?
Erik: No.
PoM PoM: Can I sex you up?
Erik: Oh God NO!
PoM PoM: Damn. Anyways, can I drive?
Erik: No.
PoM PoM: Can I redecorate the lair?
Erik: No.
PoM PoM: Can be the Phantom?
Syrena: *shoulder tap* Uh, sugar? WRONG PARODY.
PoM PoM: Oh. Can I be the Phantom anyway?

Syrena: Well, everyone, I hope you enjoy. I also hope you don't attack me for taking so long!
Syrena's little sister: *holds a cup up to her nose* My new perfume. Smell.
Syrena: *inhales deeply and falls over*
Syrena's little sister: My homemade knockout gas. Soy sauce, lemon juice, and nail polish.

Note from Syrena: That stuff actually works if you take a deep enough breath. My sister used it on me right before I typed that last part.

Wow. Um...I put in a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory reference? I wasn't trying, but cool! Took me long enough to get this done, huh? The part about the homemade knockout gas is true, though. I was out of it for a straight hour.

Yeah, the hair cream part xd

Chapter One

Person: I am Erik.
PoM: O___O Ohmygod! PHANTOM! SQUEE!!! -PoM proceeds to glomp the Phantom-
Erik: AGH! -falls over- Damn it! What's your problem!
PoM: Nothin'...buuuut, why are you-! -PoM is cut off mid-sentence because she's been clorophomed(oo; Um...yeah. You get the word...I think)-
Erik: Why do they always do that?

-insert a scene of a trip to Paris with a passed out PoM-

People along the way: -giving him funny looks- o__O
Erik: -just gives them all threatening looks-




PoM: -wakes up in some bed in some lair- -makes some intresting sleepy noises- Hiss...where the hell am I?
Erik: -singing- I have brought you to the seat of sweet music's throne! To this kingdom where all must be----
PoM: Oh shut it!
Erik: Are you seriously interupting the Phantom of the Opera?
PoM: Yeah, b***h. And you just kidnapped an obsessed phan girl!
Erik: O__o Excuse me?
PoM: -starts inspecting the(ALW style) lair- So...um...I get that that was the slutwhorebitch's bed, but where the hell do you sleep...?
Erik: Um...I don't?
PoM: And where's your coffin!
Erik: How'd you know I have a coffin!
PoM: Ugh. Everyone who's read either Susan Kay's Phantom knows that! And I don't remember if you had one in Leroux's.
Erik: So...wanna'---

-there is then a knock on the door-

???: ERIK! Open up that door this instant! I know you're keeping another chick in there!
PoM: -clears throat and starts talking like a man- What makes you think that, Daroga?
???: I'd recognize that impersonation anywhere! POM POM!!!

-cue the 80's music-

Dude. I recite the PotO in 15 minutes. -giggles- And it's freakin' hilarious!

Omg. We, should like, be best friends or something! -giggles-

OMG Syrena, that was SO totally worth waiting for! It was so incredibly hilarious!! I loved it! Hehehehehe!!!

And PoM, I love your parody!!

This is what happens when I listen to the Spamalot soundtrack, over and over and over and over....

Erik-*sings* I am not dead yet, I can dance and I can sing, I am not dead yet, I can do a highland fling, I am not dead yet, no need to go to bed, no need to call the doctor 'cause I'm not yet dead.
Christine & Raoul-*sings*Oh he's not dead yet, that's what the geezer said. Oh he's not yet dead, that man is off his head, put him back in bed, keep him off the cart 'cause he's not dead.
*cheesy music. All start dancing all cheesy like*
*Madame Giry hits Erik in the head with a frying pan*
Eirk-O.O *out cold*
Christine & Raoul- Well, now he's dead, you wacked him on the head, sure now he's dead, if makes me just see red, you murdered that old coot, you homicidal b**ch now he's really dead.

Too much..Spamalot...