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Boo. We do not allow that in this guild. Only happy thoughts! =D Yay dictatorship.

Mmm, never used the quarter school system myself. It's always two semesters per year, so spring break was just a half way point for me. Summer and Winter are real breaks though. Though having less school sounds nice. XD

Seriously. I don't even wish death on Miley Cyrus or anyone.

Ugh, do you know how often I get that, "You don't know who so and so is?!" No, I don't. I almost never watch TV, I don't follow bands or celebrities, I don't read magazines or watch the News. People are always shocked and appalled when they find out I don't follow these apparently very important things that they do, but I'm just as appalled that they don't follow Yuugiou and Zelda. XD I have my own tastes; I don't feel the need to follow things I'm not interested in, just because everyone knows about them. But anyway, I do at least know who House is, just from pictures and memes. He doesn't look like either of the actors in that video though; which soldier was he?

I just hate concerts. Only been to one, but I hate the crowds, loudness, drinking, smoking, pretty much everything about them. I can't appreciate the music in that kind of setting.

@Kits - I broke a rule?! :'(

*sigh* Ok...*forces giant fake grin of epic creepy proportions*...better?

I have to say I prefer the quarter system myself, and I don't know if less in session time is nice. I mean there is an upside to the greater autonomy, but it's hard for me to stay structured on my own. Plus less class = more work, and I just get burnt out more. I feel like I'm doing less and yet am more worn out. I think for the postgraduate level I still prefer this, but I definitely wouldn't have wanted this at undergrad. However the English university system is going through an overhaul now as well, part of why I lean towards not doing my PhD here. A system under construction is just a little worrying, I wouldn't know what I'm getting myself into. And while their fee hikes won't quite make them more expensive than being in the states, it's still a huge spike. If there international rates increase as well no way could I even consider it.

I couldn't wish death on Cyrus legitimately anyhow, I do like a couple of her songs (one I didn't even realize was her at first, but now I can so tell it's her voice I don't know how I didn't know. I guess because it was a shift away from her more country sound which is what I was familiar with into a pop sound). And dude her dad is nuts, so I can't blame her for being nuts either, I don't care that she's nuts. That doesn't effect me. I also like one Beiber song, but not as sung by Justin, but as song by my wifey's friend Mary as she plays her ukulele. She's amazing. Also she had only just taught herself the uke two days before she played it for us (I went with her when she bought it the day I arrived in WA).

People don't give me a hard time or anything, not really. I just then feel left out. I want to be part of the whole going to tours, festivals, etc craze. I've had pretty good experiences finding people with an inner geek in them. Two days ago I went to raid the metal music of a friend (/make an apple crumble) and when I went in her room I find that in addition to the giant Iron Maiden and Slipknot posters her wall is covered in Gravitation posters and another series I didn't know. She also has several volumes of the Death Note manga and the movies. My best friend here is the one dragging me to Kita Con next week, and then I got into conversation with another guy I know from MetalSoc about FMA and another series (blanking on what that was) last week. So yea, I definitely haven't had to suffer others being appalled, and I more often than not end up finding myself shocked that more people are into anime and games (the guy I talked to about FMA has recently started playing the old school Crash games and I went into flail mode) than I'd expect, sometimes more than myself. Which is great, but I just want to be part of the music thing as well. I don't want to be part of the TV (save for the shows I like, most of which are weird and I wouldn't seriously mock anyone for not knowing them, even the big ones) and definitely not the celeb craze though, the former is something to just enjoy in the moment and the latter is not worthy of attention (why should I follow the lives of strangers?!?). Although I did get into a TV/movie convo at a shisha bar with three MetalSoc friends last week, the topic? Power Rangers and Godzilla. My metalhead friends are geeks, and I want to be a metalhead. razz

As Morgey has already stated, Laurie is the skinny guy (the German in the video).

Sometimes the loudness is a lot for me to handle, but I've managed to go to some awesome venues in the small metal setting here. So it's not quite the same crowd. Everything I've gone to hear has been indoors as well, so they can't smoke. Granted the only time I had to deal with smoke was at that Green Day concert, and that's when I realized I don't mind the smell of weed. sweatdrop I totally get why people wouldn't like the concert scene but I kinda do, but as a social scene. I don't think I'd ever really get into going by myself. Plus I have some friends who are just great fun to watch headbanging. Actually I like headbanging enough it's just my neck tends not to agree with that.

@Morgey - Thanks for that update, I'm like waiting for the 31st and I'd have been annoyed if I had noticed he was banned again before you updated. ^_^

It's due the 26th of April? So you will have a draft by the 24th and then have two days to edit? Well that would make some sense. I'm trying to have a draft by July 12th, day before I go back to CA for 2-3 weeks. My aim is to have a completed (more than draft stage) paper by August 31st. Then I have 7 (at least, paper might be due the 28th but I'm focusing on the earlier possible date) days to edit before turning it in and officially being done. So after this year are you done with your bachelors Morgey? Do you know what you are off to do next?

That's right, I remember now. I have a lot of friends from Essex and the rest make horrible jokes about it, they roll their eyes. Now I'm semi-curious about it. My knowledge - in terms of having been there - of England extends only to London and Birmingham though. Hopefully I'll visit a few people before going home just to see some other places.

So we all agree jazz is meh? xd Yea I've come around to some Rap, but mainly I just don't like musical talk. Most of the rap songs I do like usually have an awesome musical chorus and that's probably what I end up really liking. Metal is definitely pretty community-oriented though, which is part of what's attracting me to it so heavily.

Yea, see I watched the Kedaaah thing first (on Y-tube) so it was such a fail video.

Ok that's seriously what bugs me about people who get SO uppity about Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, Beiber, now Black. I mean YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET AUDIENCE, BE QUIET!!! I mean I wouldn't want tweens listening to some of the stuff I listen to anyhow, but they need their music too. I think what makes the musicians for the tween audience so much more awkward these days is how young they are themselves. I mean if you think back to the tween sensations from our youth, Back Street Boys, N'Sync, they weren't as young as a lot of the people are now. Britney Spears was a stand out because of how young she was when she hit the scene. But these days that age is the norm. However because celebrity-dom and the music industry are so highly sexualized and controversial, these musicians are even more controversial than they really ought to be.

Yea, I've only seen a few episodes of Blackadder now (mainly the Shakespeare stuff, which has a Laurie), I'll have to watch more eventually. I rather like it. I follow few careers, and those usually aren't intentional follows.

Yea I can't really stand AI, definitely not getting into the X-Factor. I just don't like most reality TV, it's so boring. I have friends who love reality celeb gossip, which sort of kills me on the inside a bit. ~_~ Anytime, I love to provide opportunities to rant. ^_^

Yea, the one thing I can dislike about a concert is if the volume is just obnoxious. I've lucked out on a lot of venues I've gone to thus far. They've been well filled in terms of acoustics.

I know, I like structure. I mean at first I worry that wait, I want a career as an academic, it's a lot of autonomous research. But then I realize between teaching schedules, conferences and meetings they have structure. I really should have just gotten a job, I just didn't want to. The structure for me doesn't necessarily have to come for school, my job was what kept me structured with my undergrad. It's just having something in my life with a semblance of schedule.

Haha, I figured you meant that, I was just being a brat. razz Yea I wrote one of my 4000 page papers (and did the reading for it) in a day, it was a crap grade but it was a passing mark (even at MA level). So it could be done, but part of that hope of having a choice is going to come out of having a solid body of work, rather than a just get 'er done degree. Yea I felt that way at the end of my BA, thought I should just stay, tack on the double major of classics, but I liked my two years in the real world, and then I escaped back into academia. In the end (of my PhD) I will be qualified for one thing, essentially, and if it doesn't pan out SF has some amazing bridges to leap off of. So cheers to plan B! Of course billionaires would be nice, but I don't think I could go with nonagenarian. In general I have a bit of a fear of old people, particularly old men. razz

Yea most of why I've seen as much of CA as I have is from school (primarily band) related trips. They lugged us up and down the entire state. You just get comfortable in a society and don't move. Had I kept to my not make any friends plan I probably woulda seen tons of Europe by now (and drank much less). But no, made friends, have had fun, socialized, and have pretty much not left Birmingham (save for one trip to Dublin - which I was taken on by people visiting from CA) since I got here. ~_~

Even this weekend not leaving Birmingham, Kita Con is smack here, heh. There is actually a Yu-Gi-Oh panel too, but it's CCG, the one aspect I really have minimal interest in and can't contribute to. Lame. However I'm being dragged to a lolita tea party (and possibly being dressed in kind), so that should be swell.

I know, I was on failblog and there was some spoof on Lady Gaga because she just turned 25 a few days ago. I was like holy s**t, she's only a few months older than me! I thought she was like 30! Then I thought more about it, and realized even at 25 she's a rather old break into the industry, I think that means she hit the scene around 23? Aged! So yea, screw you society. I want my 30 year old boy bands back, not because I want to listen to them, just because I'd feel less futile and pressured every single day I age. xd

Hahaha, why thank you much. Last night the friend who introduced me to Blackadder had me watch a few episodes of the Not Nine O'Clock News, something like that. It's apparently old and from the 80s, but he loves it. Has a lot of toilet humor, but it was entertaining enough.

Ranting is indeed quite the merry thing.

Man you have ruined it for me, I can't watch now! J/k, I understood none of that, and somehow the reason I read is because I knew that would be true. Not to imply anything...la la la *runs away*. Go go power rangers!! Damn it I am not listening to it and it popped in my head out of nowhere!!

Also my friend decided I should listen to Friday last night, oh joy. Btw, it was not horrible in the way I thought it'd be horrible. I thought it'd be spastic and poppy 13 year old. But, could she be any more monotone? I mean seriously, it was like watching killer clown! Like that's how the serial killer in a horror movie talks. Wtf?!? I wasn't terrified by how horrible it was, I was literally terrified. Though there was this funny spoof on it, that I'll link whenever I can be arsed to locate it. razz

Anyhow TAS, con prep, and then sorry if I don't get back on here much until I get home Sunday night. Though I'll probably be on Friday night, but we shall see. Haven't fully decide how I feel about crashing my friends hotel, even if she said I could, without paying. I feel too poor to want to pay though, so guilt might just chase me back to my own bed. Just then their is the inconvenience of when trains stop running. sad

Just because it's April Fools, and we apparently must be surrounded by creepy cats, does not make that funny. xd

Hahaha, I'd like to be researching but I worry I'm not smart enough. Not insightful enough. As long as I wind up in academia though I'll be ok, if I don't we shall have problems. Other than write it's all I want to do, and I won't bank on trying to make writing a full time career. I'd like to not live with my parents forever, I mean they don't really have a basement for me to hide in.

Why would I be a brat? Because it's a talent...too bad nobody will pay me for it. sweatdrop

Yea, I think it's the people who seem to just have this come to them so easily that are stressing me out. It's not that I mind that it's hard for me so much as I feel that the difficulties mean I'm really not cut out for this. That I should be better, and there is something wrong with me for not being so.

I was slightly proud, though I wish I hadn't done it, it's going to kill my averages. I really have to do tremendously well on these next 3 papers. If I just can't get into a PhD system in the states I wouldn't mind coming back here (as in England, though I do rather like UoB, as disorganized as it may be), but I'd have to be able to get funding. It's kinda annoying, I'm pretty sure I could get into programmes here but not necessarily get funded. Conversely in the states I worry more about being able to get in but I wouldn't necessarily need the funding as much studying in my own country, where I am a citizen, and could worse case scenario live at home. Ugh, I dunno. I just want things to work out!! I don't even care how anymore.

Hahaha, they are definitely all yours!

Thanks, it's been ok thus far but there isn't a lot going on Friday. I had already been planning to come home tonight anyhow and crash my friend's hotel Saturday night as there is more going on then, but I came home even earlier today than planned. They just had a lot of organizational issues which were frustrating. But talking with people has been fun. I'm exhausted anyhow, and the hotel beds are TINY! Curling up with my friend in that is going to be quite...cozy. ninja Given that I shall be going poof until Sunday night (possibly Monday morning depending on how tired I am) after I submit this. Unless I get up really early tomorrow, not likely. razz

I know! She definitely looks older, which makes me feel slightly better. She's my age but looks a good 5-10 years older. Granted most people peg me 7-8 years younger than I am soooooo...o_O. And yes, you have ruined all your chances. The way I ruined mine by giving up on choir and those school plays. I was brilliant in Stone Soup, age 6, absolutely marvelous. If only I'd gone on, to think where we might both now be? We could be our own Bit of Fry and Laurie. razz

I've never heard of Keeping Up Appearances so I suppose I am completely unforgivable. Yea I didn't get the feeling that Not the Nine O'Clock News was exactly the thing most people around our age would have watched (as it was in the 80s and we were toddlers/not born) or watch, but yea, something new I've been cultured with. razz

Yea the monotone makes me think this thing must have been a prank, I mean seriously? xd

And as covered before, here we are, Con weekend and on Gaia, hehehe. However these cats scare me, and I like cats. Major deity/deities/etc etc/Darwin help those who don't. But yea, I have a dumb phone (and have no desire for a smart phone) and won't have my computer until con is over once I head back to the hotel tomorrow morning so I suppose this be it for now. Bye!! ^_^

Yea, I mean sometimes it's funny to make jokes, like saying Bieber is a girl. But I mean some people get really serious about their dislike, and I just don't see the point. Throw your passion into the things you love, not into the things you hate, at least that's how I feel.

Omg, you like Glee, what the heck Glee is awful! Hahaha, j/k j/k j/k!! Though no I really don't watch it. But that's because it's less than 3-4 years old, and I kinda just avoid getting into new series, I want to be less ruled by TV. So when I have time I'm more likely to go start completed series that are streamed online, rather than get invested in an on-going program. I don't see a correlation between ballet and dancing with the stars though, my mom however loves the latter (sometimes likes the former but not really). She tried to get me to come watch it with her once by screaming one of the dancers had gotten naked. I was like no he didn't, but I was amused that she was that aware of my interests. ^_~

Yea I read that article a couple of weeks ago, there was a part that I really liked but I can't be bothered to go reread it (i.e. I slept until 4pm today and I have one month before my next three 4000 word papers are due in, and I want them to be better this time) atm. However I totally agree. When I heard about Snooki's book deal I died inside. I am not going to hate them or even resent that they make millions being slutty and stupid for the entertainment of the neanderthal masses. However their having easy access into things like publishing, things I'm going to have to work my a** off for, that really upsets me. Especially atm as I'm really frustrated with how the hell I'm going to manage funding for a PhD. I really didn't want to take time off again, but I have no choice no matter which country I choose. It'd be harder for me to get funding in the UK and the international rates are almost as killer as standard national fees in the USA. However, in the USA the GRE will kill me (I haven't taken math in 6+ years, longer since I've taken the math that's actually on the quantitative section as it doesn't go up to Calculus I believe), and while they have more funding opportunities it's damn competitive. So I dunno what to do. I'm just, at a frustrated impasse, and it has me pretty depressed. I'm glad I never had to see Snooki's book shelved here, it'd probably make me cry.

A whata ge-what-a-what?!?

I can probably force myself into the structure, I just hate having 100% of my grade come down to one paper at this point. I miss my 10% participation/attendance grades, I miss homework grades, hehe. Actually I just miss having more than one assignment per course. I mean in someways I'd rather have the larger assignments, but it just kinda gets exhausting spending 3 months researching, 1 month writing, 3 months reading, 1 month writing. I'll get burned out reading and just want to write. I want to split the system up differently somehow. So I am writing more often.

See that's what's funny, I totally agree on Bieber, I'd actually like some of his songs. See the first time I heard any of his songs it was Mary playing and singing it, and she actually sounded great. So really I like Mary seeing Baby, and I tolerate his because I had learned to like his song prior to himself. Yea I was the same the first time I saw uke in print, I was like huh? But knowing Beth was talking about Mary who I knew played the ukulele I figured it out easy enough. The context could be pretty fun though.

I think the episode felt a bit different as well, I mean he's been going so long now it makes sense his style is going to evolve and shift. His new episode seems to correlate with the types of filler he does now, and I suppose I have mixed feelings about it. I still liked it though and Penguin Tea is fun, so is Duke. razz

Maybe, or maybe she'll look like she's 50 when she's 30, guess we'll see. Can't ever really tell how people will age. I better not look like I'm 30 when I'm 50 though, I still have a hard time passing for 20 sometimes. I don't want to shoot straight from teens to aged, that'd suck so hard.

The nasally thing was annoying, but the monotone just creeped me out. I guess because when sitting down to a tween pop song that is the last thing I'd ever expect. Nasally I have encountered before, so it's bad but not necessarily unexpected. And yea I don't blame her for the lyrics, I know she didn't write them. Hell, maybe they should have let her written them, I doubt she coulda done worse. I doubt anyone could do worse! Though it is fun to play with now...ya know, fun fun fun! When we go to the con on FRIDAY we were totally talking about getting down, and how tomorrow would be Saturday, and then Sunday would come after and end the con. xd

Anyhow obviously home, the convention was fun but I like Y-con better. Their schedule is a little weird, EVERYTHING starts really late, they herd you in weird ways for the large stuff, and a lot of the panels just weren't to my interest. At an interest specific con there's usually too much I want to do and can't fit it all in, rather than the other way around. However it was nice being at a con, I got some nice trinkets but managed for once not to go crazy. I almost bought Princess Princess, the entire series was 11 quid (and yea it was the USA version - half of why video was easy to resist is most of it was UK and I wouldn't be able to play it), but I know I can find it online and I suppose I should at least see if I like it before I invest in it. So instead I bought a battle ax pewter pendant that I really wanted for the 11 instead. I also got a couple of pairs of Mario mushroom earrings (one red, one green, both gifts), 9 pins (also all gifts) and a little notebook that says:

Warning:

RANTINGS OF AN EVIL GENIUS

*CONTAINS INSANITY

And then has dark art that kinda reminds me of some of the homunculi stuff in FMA on the cover. This was for me.

My favorite thing though, was weirdly also something that confused the heck out of me, because I didn't know the series at all. They screened Evangelion 2.0 which hasn't come out in the UK yet. They screened 1.0 right before that but my friend was in the cosplay competition and I thus missed 1.0 helping her dress/was too tired to get up and ready prior because I still probably coulda made it. I really liked it, though it took me about 20 minutes to even have the slightest clue what was going on, and I'm still out on a bit of the history and why, though I had a guy explain a bit to me after. It's been so long since he saw the anime and the 2 older movies though that he doesn't quite remember. It was really impressive on the giant screen though, and I really now regret that I didn't drag my lazy butt up and go watch 1.0. I shall see if I can track it down, and then one day probably go back and track down the anime and the older movies. Although of course now I want to know what's going to happen, and Q doesn't even release in Japan until 2012. At least there was a preview at the end, so I can at least feel better about some things even if it's still a bit wtf.

Haha, I feel silly. I can say that I totally loved this movie but no I can't explain a damn thing. I think you said recently that you liked Neon Genesis Kits? Have you seen 1.0/2.0? Should I totally be blowing off my papers and looking for the anime now? Heh, I can't, but as soon as I track down 1.0 (just b/c I'm now bothered that I saw the movie after it first, I just never really expected to like it, especially as much as I do) I will probably try to find time to at least watch it slowly. Though moderation isn't my thing. xd

We also got to meet (though I didn't actually go talk to her because up until that point I knew nothing about EVA) Brina Palencia, who voices English Rei in 1.0 + 2.0 (not in the originals though). She was interesting but it was also kinda disappointing, because she knows nothing about the series. Like she saw 1.0/2.0 for the first time with us. Kinda like, "oh hey, so this is what I was part of." I guess a voice actor doesn't have to know, and even the die hard fans in the room thought she did fine, but still. I feel like I'd totally want to know what I was voicing if it was me. She apparently had finished 1.0 when she started getting letters from die hard fans telling her not to screw it up, and she was like s**t, it's already over. That's kinda amusing. The letters made her panic, but not even enough to go watch the original series and try to think if she was going to be publicly stoned. Maybe that's why she didn't, was too afraid. Anyhow Brina has never voiced anything I was specifically crazy about, most of the stuff I haven't even seen (though a lot of stuff I have heard of and possibly want to see eventually, Tsubasa Chronicle, D.Gray Man, One Piece, Trinity Blood - though some of those she had a one time/small bit in). Given that I decided not to approach her, bug her to sign stuff out of her panel that was the day before. I think it's weird they screened the films after her panel, but whatever. Probably only around 100 people (if that) went to see the films, so I'm sure I could have bugged her, but whatever.

Anyhow yea, haven't been really intrigued/excited by a new series in awhile, haven't had the time. So that was the highlight of Con for me. Sorry that was kinda a long ramble, I will hush up now. razz

Yea, I have a few shows but I've been watching them for 5+ years now. Bones, Supernatural, House, SVU...I'm unsure if South Park has ended or not, but generally if they were having another season it should have started by now. The only exception on that list is Psych, which I got into during the third season and ended up falling in love with. However given thus I am more likely to try to avoid shows that there is a good chance I'd like. Although Glee probably isn't one of them for me, I like the music but the only episode I've seen I just don't think I'd care for the cast story, I used to like teenage drama, but part of why I dropped One Tree Hill and Smallville, just can't really put up with it anymore. Give me the rape and murder please! *is shot*

I lost faith in humanity awhile back already, which is why that doesn't bother me anymore. I mean it does, but just not to the point I can have feelings about it anymore. I just try and ignore it. And I just feel so old and unaccomplished. I mean yea there are other MA/Mphils (Mphil is a more researched focused masters type degree that I hadn't heard of before coming to the UK so perhaps doesn't exist in the US) who are my age and older, then there are the ones who are like 21 and have already accomplished a lot more than I have. The main reason I hadn't wanted the break though is it was so hard getting back into the swing of study after two years off between BA and MA, so I need to find a way to stay academically inclined, research motivated, if I do so. Maybe I can find a way to get some smaller publications to build up my body of reference, however when not attached to an institution it's really hard (or REALLY expensive) to access the resources I would need. So blah! ~_~

Haha, oh yea I know Punishment Game, just didn't remember the Japanese. I'll try to remember that, add it to the list of 10ish or so words that I know. xd What kind of punishment games did this sub usually implement? Sounds like there could be a good story here. wink

Yea, although again I dunno how it would work for Art. That's just how it works for English Literature and Literary Linguistics (at least partially for Creative Writing). Of course the science degrees still have testing and what not and a more cumulative grade I believe. Idk, it seems like a lot more work, and it's fully intensively focused on your one subject. Which in part I which I had that background now, but in part I kinda like the myriad of other concentrations that were part of my undergrad degree.

I will be in UK this coming 2011, but yea I'm definitely hoping to go back in 2012 (and if I'm back in the US I definitely will). It's usually in Sept/Oct (last few years it's been October. It's Oct 21st-23rd of 2011 I believe). But yea if you guys can make it and I'm back in the US we most definitely should.

Well glad to hear that then, other people told me to watch it and I never got around to it. I did already know it wasn't more than a tease as far as BL, but was hoping it had sort of an Ouran type system/vibe/comedy scheme working for it. Clearly not. May or may not look it up someday, we'll see.

2.0 was really good, and I don't think it came off as too rushed but I was missing a lot of the premises. There are some things that apparently the film leaves out (but I figured out anyhow based on my powers of analysis xd ), and some things that just went in a different direction. Without having the original background I don't know how I feel about the alter, so guess we'd see. Anyhow I really liked it, but I'd definitely like to see more of the series. I will try and find 1.0 soon just so that I can have that in sequence since that's what I've already started, and look for the anime later. There was one moment of homoeroticism in 2.0, and definitely tons of torture. Omg there was one part that really really upset me, which is what alerted me to the fact that I was definitely into this. I won't say yes, but yea it was really gruesome, both actually gruesome and just psychologically twisted. So yea I totally agree, like part of why I didn't go see 1.0 is because I never expected to get into a mecha series, I just don't care about battle bots, however that's so not the majority of what this is and I definitely agree with you that it's a boon to the series.

Yea I heard good things about D.Gray Man and I think the friend I went to con with actually has Trinity Blood? Unsure, I'll have to check with her but I could probably borrow that. The other guy I went to con with was cosplaying from One Piece, I think in part it just gets brought up elsewhere and referenced (even in TAS) so much that I'd want to see it just to know wtc is being referred to.

Yea, I'd try, again it's just hard to access resources to do research independent of an academic institution. Solo subscriptions to a lot of the journals and collections I use would be catastrophically expensive, and accessing a lot of the primary materials I'd want to work with would be difficult without access to a university library. Being out of school at this point just feels like a waste of time given that, but I can't really afford to keep going uninterrupted. And I dunno that 21 is that young, and with maybe one or two exceptions I definitely don't consider these people geniuses at all (smart yes, talented sure, but nowhere near genius level, they are just on top of things). I have several friends who don't take gap years between studies. I don't really feel that they are young, just that they are on top of things, in a way I can't be or at least haven't been. I mean looking at the academic histories of a lot of scholars, they are so full because they didn't spend 10+ years just finishing their doctorates, they were done around my age, or within a couple years of it. Best case scenario I probably won't be done until 29 or 30, and that is the best case scenario (for which I have no plan) at this point. I know not everyone does that, but the longer it takes the more difficult it becomes and the more impossible it starts to seem. I mean statistically most people who take time off from school don't go back, life goes on, and they just never have the time or money. I don't want to be one of those people, but it's hard to imagine gearing my life towards going back to school when school doesn't make it that easy to begin with.

I know you've told me about Caramelldansen before, but I wouldn't know it either. I probably couldn't do a jig either, unless I was trying to watch someone else while doing it.

Yea the con is in fall not summer, the earliest it has ever been was the second weekend in September? That's where it was the first year I went but it got progressively later and later. It was the end of Sept the next year, and then the past couple of years it's been the end of October (near Halloween, actually the last year I went the con fell on Halloween. The following year and this coming year it's the weekend before though). I wish it was in summer, than I would have been able to go before moving, and I could have considered being home for it this year. Though at this point unless it was in July I wouldn't. I need to be home in July but I want to come back to England as soon as possible after that. Not like I have much time left. :'(

Yea the info we had on it categorized it as an apocalyptic mecha series, and so I was I was like, well I won't like that anyhow. I'm halfway through the first (new) movie now, the second one is so much better. 1.0 is ok, though I don't think it's doing a better job of clearing up some of the stuff from the first series (I've researched that on my own). Although depending you might still really dislike 2.0 because it changes at least a couple of things which I would think would be a huge deal (though I haven't seen the anime/read the manga to actually know what effect the changes would have overall). As I've approached these first I don't mind, and the way 2.0 did it seems a lot more gruesome than the original, which is one of the aspects that hooked me. I guess if I knew the anime first I'd probably resent a lot of what was cut out too (and possibly be bothered by changes), however as it's own thing it's pretty good. Anyhow I'll probably try and finish 1.0 today (I can only find it subbed so I can only watch so much of it as a time as I'm supposed to be studying).

Also if you guys are interested, videos of the talent stuff from Kitacon:

Metal Gear Bromance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y18IOx9mS8c

Kuroshitsuji (I really should finish this series one day), Sebastian violinist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eSLkEi_iRk

Yea the violinist had some mistakes but was still really awesome, and the skit is just funny. There were a couple of other decent acts, but these were hands down the best two (and easily won group/solo categories).

I hesitate to add this act as well, it's kinda creepy and the evil song totally got stuck in my head, but it's also kinda funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ0M9jw5S5Y

Anyhow I'll stop linking crap now. xd

Ah, but I won't be happy in anything else. The only thing I want to be is an academic. I want to be a professor and a researcher. I want the ONLY career that mandates a doctorate. And it's the fear that I'm going to have to settle for something else that has me absolutely miserable. I mean there is no other career that I'd want, that I could do, that'd be open to me if for some reason I fail in this. So yea it matters, it matters big. It's my whole life. My whole I can deal with the fact that I can't really trust people not to betray me, my romantic life will probably never exist, and I probably won't ever have a family. Because I will have this. I can throw myself into my studies, the only thing I've ever been good at. The fear of not being good enough is pressing. The fear of not even getting the chance to not be good enough because I just can't get in financially is too much to deal with. I've thought about other "jobs." There are many I could probably do, and I'd probably be miserable. I started working at a company after graduation with a 25ish year old manager who was making around 200K a year, and it was feasible that I could do that. Except I hated it, and I quit pretty soon into it. I didn't want to be tempted into doing something that I'd hate, that would really just be a 9-5 (even though it wasn't a job with quite those hours) job that I couldn't wait to clock out of, just because of money. I'm not looking for money, I'm looking for a purpose, something to give my seemingly pathetic life some semblance of meaning. I'm not worried I'll find a job and be happy with it (if that happened fine, but as well as I know myself it's not likely), I'm worried that I'll wait to long and then even if I can find the funding I just will be incapable of going back. School gets harder the longer you abstain from it.

I think you've sent me that before, for some reason that just never sticks in my head. That's probably easier than an Irish dance though (well depending on what he made her do, I'm assuming jig but I suppose that'd be pretty hard to walk up and do if she didn't know it) if she knew it.

Yea I prefer fall as well (just as it's usually the least busy time of year for me), the only reason I'd have wanted it in summer was so I could have gone, not because I really want it in summer. Though it's not agony to be outside in the bay area in summer, especially on the peninsula (which is where the con is, it's either held in San Mateo or SF), it's right on the bay/ocean so it's always cooler. Also you mostly didn't need to leave the hotel in SM, never saw the SF venue because the three years I went it was in SM. It's pretty small and everyone fits inside (some people did go outside for cosplay photos, either by the pool or out front - but out front was shaded by the hotel so it probably wouldn't be hot out there either). You aren't even outside for registration. Honestly registration doesn't take that long to get through, unlike Fanime where you will be lined up outside for hours even if you pre-registered.

Yea, I'd say give it a shot, but I won't promise you'll like it. As it's own thing I think 2.0 is awesome, but if you can't help but compare it to the original I think the changes might possibly be a bit much. Again don't know the original well enough to really know the impact of what those changes might mean.

I've never played MGS so wouldn't exactly know, but the skit was amusing.

Yea I heard it ended badly too which is kinda why I've been hedging to make the time. But yea Sebastian cosplayer aside playing the violin, it was actually REALLY well done, like there were mistakes but it was clearly no easy piece and it was just very impressive. In some ways the mistakes kinda highlighted that.

I know, the shota character is the only reason I linked that. ^_^