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Daren walked out and smiled, "of course you aren't. come on, let's go." he lead the way out, grabbing his keys as they left the apartment. "Tim, you might have a bit of a hard time at first, ok? my gym is down in the basement, it's well lite and one big room, but i just wanted to warn you. there's a lot of exercise equipment, but it's just that. stuff to work out with, no one is going to hurt you. and it will be just us. no one else goes down there, i own it, so you will be safe, ok?" he smiled at Tim and started heading down the stairs, finally stopping when they reached the ground level. from there he left the stairwell and went around the corner to another door he had to open with a key on his ring. he opened the door and looked Tim in the eyes, "take your time, ok? it'll be ok, Tim. it's just a gym, there is no one here that is going to hurt you."

Daren was surprised how easily Tim took to going down the stairs, but they were good, solid stairs, not the rickety wooden ones of his old house. maybe that was why, all the same he was glad that Tim was strong enough to do it and do it happily. he followed after and nodded, "you do what you think is best. you know your body better than i." he smiled and moved to an old, broken treadmill. he got on and began to walk, pushing the belt of the mill with the muscles in his legs. it took work to get it going, but once it was, it got a bit easier. this was his favorite warm up to do, though it was terrible for the mill. he'd learned quickly that he needed two, one that worked and one that didn't. "if you need a drink, there's a jug over there and towels too." he pointed to the corner, breathing harder than he would have liked, but still not breathing too hard by normal standards. he'd lost a bit on his days off, but not so much he couldn't get it back easily.

Daren glanced over, moving to a jog now, "ethnicity? haven't been asked that one in a while." he grinned a little, but kept running, it would be harder if he stopped at this point. "my mother is half English half African, my mother was half American, half Japanese. not a bad mix, eh?" he grinned and went into a proper run, breathing hard now as sweat began to build and roll down. "though my mom-she was gorgeous. just, beautiful." he looked forward, unable to meet Tim's eye at the moment, "i miss her." he pushed harder, making it impossible to speak now, just focusing on his workout and not the memories that were starting to crop up. memories of her and how nice it was when dad was at work or on a buisness trip. they were so happy when his father was gone.

"Your parents don't make you who you are," Daren spat out a little more vehemently than he meant to. he paused a little, tripped over the still moving belt and had to catch his balance, making sure to keep running this time, "sorry. just-if your parents really had that kind of influence on kids then what would i have become?" he shook his head, "no, you are you. being gay isn't something that can be changed, it's just a part of who you are. would he have helped you to be able to see who to avid instead of trusting everyone, maybe, but you can't be sure. besides, i like you the way you are. why change a good thing? you just need to work on being able to read people is all, not your orientation."

Daren sighed and stepped off the treadmill, he'd run enough for now. "Tim," he walked to the other and put his hand briefly on his shoulder, "sorry. i get defensive after shrink day, it's just how i react to it and i don't mean to be a d**k and make you feel bad. really i don't and i'm sorry i did. it wasn't your fault, it was a legitimate question that i blew out of proportion. forgive me?" he hated that he kept making Tim feel like it was his fault when it wasn't. not in the least.

Daren smiled, "the first meeting is like that. she's pushing your limits, seeing how far she can go with you. it's not like that every time, but i agree with her. Tim, you're way too accepting. you should be angry about what Givens did to you, you should be furious. i think your locking down anything that isn't affection and fear and hiding behind those two emotions. Doc wants you to let that anger out or it will destroy you from the inside." he patted the man's shoulder and head for the weights, "from someone who's learned the hard way, let me tell you. once you get all that anger out, you feel a thousand times lighter. trust me, even if you can't trust her yet, trust me on this."

Daren looked over and saw that Tim was going too fast. he put down the weights he'd been using and walked to the treadmill, turning it onto cool down. "Tim, she won't let you get that far. you wanted to do all of that and yet you didn't. you held yourself back, threw a pillow at me," he grinned a little to show he didn't mind, "and threw something that didn't damage it or anyone else despite how angry you were. do you know how amazing that is? she wouldn't have pushed you so hard if she hadn't known that you wouldn't hurt her, Tim. yes, it was scary, but letting something you've kept locked up all the time out always is. she's right, though. if you let it out now, in a controlled environment, you don't have to be afraid. you can let yourself feel and express those emotions and don't have to worry about them getting out of control. for you it's anger, for me-" he paused and looked down a second, "it's grief and guilt. she helps us so we can show both of those and still feel safe."

"s**t," Daren quickly caught Tim and supported him as they moved away from the treadmill, "you pushed yourself too hard....damn, i hope your moms aren't coming today, they'll kill me." he shook his head and carefully picked Tim up, "that's enough. we'll go up to the apartment and you can stretch out there." he started up the stairs, "Tim, there is no way on earth you will become anything like Givens. It's ok to let yourself feel anger and hate, it's only human, but you have to control yourself as well, something i know you can do, Tim, because i've seen you do it time and time again. it's not healthy to keep it locked up like this." they were in the elevator now, heading up to his flat, "even just a little bit would help."