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In class one day, my friend forgot her instrument and was just sitting there while we were practicing. Mr. McGee stopped the whole band in the middle of a song and yelled at her. He said, "What are you doing?! You should be fingering!"
......It took us a while to get back to practice cause we're all just so immature like that. x3

Also, though this isn't exactly band....in choir class we were in the middle of listening to one of Mrs. Murphy's lectures, when she slammed down her music and marched over to the guys section. We were all quiet for a minute trying to figure out her problem, when she yelled at them and was like "Can you guys stop touching each other for one second? My God, keep your hands to yourselves."
Then some blond that wasn't listening asked "What happened?"
Mrs. Murphy turns and says "These guys are over here touching each other in inappropriate places!"
We starred for a bit until she told them that unless they were gay then they should stop touching one another like that in public. Or at all.
xD she's so blunt that it cracks me up.

one time we were getting ready for rehearsal, and the guy who helps out's phone went off and it was on vibrate, and my band director said, "did you leave your vibrator on?"

Our band director has his own catch phrases like "Off to a day full of fun and learning!!" or "Percussinist where are you looking Natilies right here?!?!"(Natilies our marching director, and the percussinist are always looking down field instead of at her) Jazz band is even better though, cause he's always telling jokes or saying something random!!!

But these are the best!! About a month ago, this really perveted kid that eveyone hates, fell off the third row chair, instrument, the whole lot basically!! Everyone starts laughing including Mr.Albright even though he tries to be really serious during concert band practice!! The other was during marching season. One of the flutes is a self absorbed snobish wimp, and she was using this lame excuse to get out of marching... So one day at practice Chari(who had a broken arm at the time) comes to practice but yet again the flute player doesn't, and so Mr.Albright says "Gee maybe her spleen finally exploded?!? Atleast we'll sound better now!!" Everyone nearlly died laughing!!

our BD says alot of odd things.. but probally the most used are
"stop scratching you butt and start playing"
"we sound like dieing kittens."
"make it as soft as a babys butt"
and crazy things like that.. he will also burst into random storys in the middle of class. and he also says this to the clarinets (im a flute)
"stop sounding like a cork is in there make it sound sweet and innocent"

Before break we had a sub band director come in to teach us and she expected us to be perfect little angelic bandies but no one wanted to listen to her at all so our class did all this crazy stuff like they stole the Dr. Beat and passed around the room when she wasn't looking and When she wasn't in the room all of the kids got up and started dancing & screaming & all of this other nonsense. She was so ticked off that she had the dean come in and all of that stuff. Our BD is going to be so mad when we get back from vacation.... xd

My teaching always says funny stuff so I don't really remember the funniest thing.

well our band teacher was yelling my fello flute player for twirling her flute *who hasn't done that lol* & he said "stop twirling your flute! do you want me to dress you up in a mini skirt & give you pom poms & a baton & make you work for the cheerleaders!?" lol but her was being serious so we couldn't laugh...& someone did...o.othe person had to run 3 laps