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 Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:40 pm
"I did. When I was in your care, Oriya... I was safe." Muraki frowned, sadness etched into every feature of his expression. "But I couldn't keep myself safe when I was away from you. I wasn't strong enough... and I wanted to keep you from this pain... this... this emptiness that Saki made me feel." his frown turned to a smile, one hand reaching out to take Oriya's chin gently and make his friend look at him. "I wanted you to be happy, even if I could not."
~ ~ ~
Laughing, Kazutaka nodded. "Keki desu ne?"
Trans:
A Cake?
~ ~ ~
"Well, I for one know how serious you take your job, Tsuzuki-chan." Watari replied, trying to cheer his friend up. "Hijiri-san was probably wanting to impress and be useful. You know how he is. He isn't one to ask for help, or take kindly to it."
The scientist put a hand on Tsuzuki's head.
"Ne ne... If it'll make you feel better, with the concert arranged, we can bring Inoue-san to justice."
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Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:50 pm
"You knew that wouldn't make me happy." He just sounds.. tired, and defeated. He feels it too, right now. "And I don't think I can understand it now, either. What's the point in allowing me to protect you if you were just going back to him?"
----
"If you like~" He isn't much for cake himself, but... it is Muraki's celebration, after all.
----
"It's not Hijiri's fault. It's my fault." Quietly. Ultimately he blames himself for waiting, for trusting Hisoka. Of course... it's a bad place to be, in a partnership, when you feel like you can't trust your partner.
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Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:55 pm
"A few weeks after my eye was healed, Oriya... I was called back to the house by my retainers." Muraki sighed softly. "I couldn't refuse. Sad as it was, you had no claim to me legally... they did..." he shook his head. "I wanted to stay with you forever... but I couldn't. Not until I was eighteen. Until then... I was Saki's doll. But as his doll... I could protect you and Ukyou-chan. I could keep you both safe from his madness..."
~ ~ ~
The teen nodded, "What do you want?" he asked curiously. "I mean, instead of cake."
~ ~ ~
"Iie." Watari replied, forcing Tsuzuki to look at him.
Serious amber eyes stared into depressed amethyst ones.
"It's not your fault, Tsuzuki-chan. Hijiri-san acted on his own, which was foolish."
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:04 am
"Stop making life seem like you had no choices." He speaks sharply, angrily. "You could refuse. You could have taken him to the courts for abuse. You could have dissapeared for a while -- I offered that, remember?" He shakes his head a little, just furious.
"The fact is you couldn't trust me. We'll never know now if I could have protected you." He holds his hand up to keep Muraki from saying anything more. "I don't wish to talk about this anymore. I'll just be more angry at you."
----
He shrugs a little, smiling. "I don't mind cake. But maybe I'll just get some fruit for myself... I don't like sweets that much."
----
"I should have listened to my instincts and moved quicker." He speaks softly, swallowing a little. "You know as well as I do there will be an inquiry." Letting out a deep breath, he droops a little. ".. Perhaps Enma-sama will ask me to leave." A prospect that both terrifies and relieves him. If that happens, Tsuzuki, like all souls, will be judged based on his crimes..
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:12 am
Muraki released his hold on Oriya. He stepped back a few paces, bowing. "Then I will return to working on your cure, Oriya-san." he spoke, his voice a bit cold, but far more professional.
He had just told his darkest secret to Oriya...
And now...
'I told you he would hate you...'
Came the voice within the doctor's mind.
But he shut it out.
Too angry at himself to even begin to reply.
He turned, moving to sit back down at the desk and go through the files.
~ ~ ~
"Honto ni?" Kazutaka asked. "But it's always wonderful to have something sweet every now and then, ne?"
~ ~ ~
Watari shook his head. "That's not going to happen, Tsuzuki-chan." the scientist whispered. "Neither myself nor Tatsumi will allow it. You're needed here, right where you are. I need you. Tatsumi needs you. Bon needs you."
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:18 am
Oriya watches him sadly.. but closes his eyes once the doctor sits down, trying to fight back tears of sheer frustration and hurt. He, unlike most of his yakuza family, is not given to being overly emotional, but this is a bad time and a bunch of revelations that he isn't in any shape to hear. He feels like he's lost a good part of his identity in this.
----
He laughs a little. "Mn... I guess so. But usually fruit is sweet enough for me."
----
"I just keep messing things up, Watari..." His fingers tug at his watch a little. Thinking of Touda.. and wondering if he wasn't right, that day. If he'd died, Hijiri might have still been alive. But of course, that isn't a guarntee, and... he knows he wouldn't get another chance.
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:26 am
But Muraki wasn't deaf to the subtle tones of Oriya's breathing.
He knew his friend was fighting back tears.
Tears that he knew, would eventually come.
"Sumimasen." Muraki spoke, standing once more, "I'll go see if I can get you something to eat for dinner."
Without another word, the doctor left the room.
Oriya needed time to himself.
As did Muraki.
~ ~ ~
Muraki laughed, "Dochira ga? Ringo? Mikan? Oranji?" the teen asked, curious as to what fruits Oriya liked the best.
Trans:
Which one?
Apple?
Tangerine?
Orange?
~ ~ ~
But Watari notices what the elder shinigami is doing.
Quickly, he takes Tsuzuki's hands in his own, holding them close to his own heart.
"We all make mistakes, Tsuzuki-chan. If we didn't... well, I know if I didn't... Tatsumi wouldn't be yelling at me about the budget for the research department." he smiled softly, trying to reassure his friend. "Bon made a mistake, Tsuzuki-chan. You have to forgive him for it, just like you have to forgive yourself. We may be shinigami, but we were all once human... none of us perfect."
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:37 am
While Muraki is gone, Oriya does let himself cry, very briefly -- too tired to do anything else. He eventually falls into a restless sleep, vague nightmares that he won't remember when he wakes, except that they have to do with Saki.
----
He laughs a little. "Strawberries. And.. pomegranates." The latter a bit of an odd choice given Japan, but they often have them at his home.
----
"I'm sick of people dying for my mistakes!" Harshly, tensing for a moment. Trembling. "And... I may forgive him but how can I trust him?" He bites his lip, hard. "He doesn't trust me personally or professionally."
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 10:04 am
When Muraki returned, he carried a tray in his hands.
Entering the room quietly, the doctor gave a slight sigh at seeing Oriya asleep.
The man needed the rest after all.
Muraki set the tray down nearby, moving over to his friend's IV and injecting a few antibiotics. He wanted Oriya to get well, at least well enough that he could be moved back home.
But when he got close, when he saw Oriya's face from where he stood, Muraki nearly let tears slip down his cheeks.
He reached out a pale hand, gently tracing what appeared to be tear tracks on Oriya's checks.
"I am so very sorry..." Muraki whispered, sitting down next to Oriya, his hand remaining on the other man's cheek.
'I betrayed you... and for that, I'm so very sorry...'
~ ~ ~
"I love strawberries." the teen smiled, "But I've never had a pomegranate. What's it taste like, hmm?"
~ ~ ~
Instead of saying anything, Watari reached out and pulled Tsuzuki into a hug, hoping to stop his trembling.
After a moment, the scientist spoke.
"He trusts you, Tsuzuki-chan... because he loves you more than you could ever realize."
Yes, Watari had just told Tsuzuki of Hisoka's feelings. But did it really matter? Repairing their partnership was top priority. Well... only next to mending the elder shinigami's heart.
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 7:07 pm
He turns into it a little into his sleep, seeking the comfort of the doctor's warm hand.
----
"You can't describe a taste." He smiles a little. "We'll get a couple and you can try it for yourself."
----
He slumps a little more... taking a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. ".. He told me. I don't know what to do about that, either...
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 7:16 pm
Muraki carefully kept his hand there, before placing a gentle kiss on Oriya's forehead.
Only two people in the entire world brought such a reaction from the doctor... and his friend was one of them.
~ ~ ~
"Hai." Muraki replied with a nod, sighing slightly. "I think the nights are getting shorter..." he whispered, noticing how the sun was almost set.
~ ~ ~
Watari didn't let go of Tsuzuki however.
He knew the elder shinigami needed contact.
"What do you feel like doing about it, Tsuzuki-chan?"
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 7:27 pm
Oriya opens his eyes suddenly, sighing and just tugging on him, pulling him to lie down. He's still half asleep, and seeking comfort, even if he is pissed at him.
----
"They probably are..." He smiles, heading towards the market with him now. "Do you mind that?" The change in season, he means.
---
He shrugs a little. "I don't know. I'm scared of things.. not working. Plus, even though he cares about me, I can't even hug him. It'll hurt him." He sighs deeply.
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 7:35 pm
This surprised Muraki, the doctor not really knowing what to do for a moment.
"O.. Oriya..." Kazutaka whispered, but he did lay down next to him, gently wrapping his arms around the man.
~ ~ ~
"Not at all." the teen shook his head, smiling softly. "Just an observation. Though, it does tend to get colder... in my opinion."
~ ~ ~
But Watari shook his head, "If you keep your emotions calm and level, Tsuzuki-chan... it won't hurt Bon at all. Besides, I think if it's you... well... you might actually calm him down, and it would do him good."
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:12 pm
"Biggest idiot I know." Mumbling sleepily, yawning and just curling into him some. Ignoring the food completely... he's not hungry.
----
"Yes it does." Mildly, flushing a little... as he said before, it's cuddling weather and he's one to take advantage of that, usually.
----
"My emotions aren't calm and level," he grumbles a little, rubbing at his eyes. "This is all just such a.. mess."
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:17 pm
"Yes well, I never was quite bright, ne?" Muraki whispered, holding Oriya close, gently kissing the man's forehead.
~ ~ ~
Muraki was at Oriya's side, closely to his side, obviously reveling in their shared warmth. "At least it's not getting ready to snow." he laughed.
~ ~ ~
"But they can be." Watari whispered softly. "You can learn to control them, Tsuzuki-chan. Think of how happy you'll be? You'll be able to be around Bon without setting him off."
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