|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 12:28 am
kouri-chan_xx @NexusBeta: That is like a story, and not really an RP post o.o; Well I guess you involved the NPC Iruka way too much XD And the learning process was kinda quick. Your grammar and spelling seems ok though. What if you do another sample with no NPCs?
@thimz23: This is also a story but the beginning is good << And it's just good XD The whole thing ^^ So... super pass~
@Spiketop55: Pass!
Uliquiorra I'll let Kitsune deal with you ^^
@Semby: AUTO PASS!!!!! Le beautiful crying
@Mazokai: O_o Very interesting XD Some tense problems though << Like you use past tense and present tense in the same paragraph. Also it's super fast paced... could you make it a little longer and slower paced?
@xxzodiacxx: Nice intro post! Pass!
@cheerios8: Well, I guess it is 4 lines, but it still seems a little short XD I'm assuming the Hiro's thing is a typo? At the beginning. A little longer and it will be a pass ^^ So, another one please? Or just lengthen this one. K, np
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 3:23 am
.(.Kitsune_Masakazu.). Alright. It's alright with detail and the like, but there are many run-ons and a few spelling errors.
Would you please go back and edit it? what do you mean by run-ons?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 3:24 am
Rp Sample!!
Nagini sighed dramatically as she dragged her feet along the dirt-ridden path. The sun seemed to be laughing down upon the people of the small village. There had been not a single drop of rain in months and the towns water supply was beginning to run low. The leaves that had fallen from the trees long ago crunched and crumbled into a small dust pile under her shoes everytime she planted her foot.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:15 am
Zephran drag his feet along the road "Nothing never happen in the plain felds." He stop to pick up a rock. He held it in the plam of his hand.lLets see if i can move this with my mind he thought. he was thing so hard that he didnt hear the man walk up a take the rockout of his hand. He open his eyes to see the rock gone. "Oh my god I did it" he said happly Thats when he saw the man holding the rock. "I can teach you morn the littile mind tricks." he said. "You can?" said Zephran thinkin of what the man can teach him. The man held out his hand, it was pale white.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 1:24 pm
Devil_Kenpachi what do you mean by run-ons?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 1:26 pm
BerryK Rp Sample!!Nagini sighed dramatically as she dragged her feet along the dirt-ridden path. The sun seemed to be laughing down upon the people of the small village. There had been not a single drop of rain in months and the towns water supply was beginning to run low. The leaves that had fallen from the trees long ago crunched and crumbled into a small dust pile under her shoes everytime she planted her foot.
Pass.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 1:31 pm
Mazokai Zephran drag his feet along the road "Nothing never happen in the plain felds." He stop to pick up a rock. He held it in the plam of his hand. lLets see if i can move this with my mind he thought. he was thing so hard that he didnt hear the man walk up a take the rockout of his hand. He open his eyes to see the rock gone. "Oh my god I did it" he said happly Thats when he saw the man holding the rock. "I can teach you morn the littile mind tricks." he said. "You can?" said Zephran thinkin of what the man can teach him. The man held out his hand, it was pale white.
Could you please double check spelling, run-ons, and split it up a bit?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 3:52 pm
Real quick question the rp sample can be anything i want right??
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 4:13 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 6:06 pm
Zephran drag his feet along the road "Nothing never happen in the plains." He stop to pick up a rock ,he look at it in the plam of his hand. Lets see if I can move this with my mind, he thought. Hes thing so hard that he didnt hear the man walk up, and take the rock out of his hand. He open his eyes to see the rock gone. "Oh my god I did it" he said happly, thats when he saw the man holding the rock. He look at Zephran "I can teach you more than littile mind tricks." he said, his eyes like a snake glaring. "You can?" said Zephran thinkin of what the man can teach him. The man held out his hand, it was pale white.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 10:22 am
Ryu sat against the wall of the academy reading a scroll showing how to perform a copy jutsu. He had been reading it for some time so he decided so try put what he had seen into practise. he fumped on to the roof of the academy and waited for somebody to pass by. After a few minutes he spotted a girl passing by.
He quietly chanted the jutsu and made the hand sign, he concentrated as hard as he could...poof...he looked down for a second and noticed a new pair of breasts. He held back a laugh and quietly jumped down behind the girl he had copied. Ryu walked quietly up behind her and tapped her shoulder, when she turned around she realised she was looking at herself, she stood with a stupid look on her face just staring until Ryu suddenly said "boo." The girl jumped and screamed at the top of her lungs
Is this better?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:25 pm
Mazokai Zephran drag his feet along the road "Nothing never happen in the plains." He stop to pick up a rock ,he look at it in the plam of his hand. Lets see if I can move this with my mind, he thought. Hes thing so hard that he didnt hear the man walk up, and take the rock out of his hand. He open his eyes to see the rock gone. "Oh my god I did it" he said happly, thats when he saw the man holding the rock. He look at Zephran "I can teach you more than littile mind tricks." he said, his eyes like a snake glaring. "You can?" said Zephran thinkin of what the man can teach him. The man held out his hand, it was pale white.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:27 pm
Devil_Kenpachi Ryu sat against the wall of the academy reading a scroll showing how to perform a copy jutsu. He had been reading it for some time so he decided so try put what he had seen into practise. he fumped on to the roof of the academy and waited for somebody to pass by. After a few minutes he spotted a girl passing by. He quietly chanted the jutsu and made the hand sign, he concentrated as hard as he could...poof...he looked down for a second and noticed a new pair of breasts. He held back a laugh and quietly jumped down behind the girl he had copied. Ryu walked quietly up behind her and tapped her shoulder, when she turned around she realised she was looking at herself, she stood with a stupid look on her face just staring until Ryu suddenly said "boo." The girl jumped and screamed at the top of her lungs Is this better?
Pass.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:35 pm
Zephran walk along the road "Nothing never happen in the plains." He stoppped to pick up a rock, he look at it in the palm of his hand. Lets see if I can move this with my mind, he thought. He was thing so hard that he didn't hear the man walk up, and take the rock out of his hand. He opened his eyes to see the rock gone. "Oh my god I did it" he said happily, thats when he saw the man holding the rock. He looked at Zephran "I can teach you more than little mind tricks." he said, his eyes like a snake glaring. "You can?" said Zephran thinking of what the man can teach him. The man held out his hand, it was pale white.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:01 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
