|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 6:33 pm
(ok here my rp sample)
Mazokai a young Ame student walked into the Ame academy. There was a desk with a young lady sitting behind it. Mazokai then walked up to her and said. "Uh.. i here for ninja training" the young lady look up"Ahhh we have ben waiting for you Mazokai." Mazokai look surprised and said. " You have?" She then interupted him and said. "Yes we have. Please follow me." She lead him down a hall way. They then stoped at an empty room. "This is were you be staying" Then a girl with blonde hair and really big....Eyes walked up to him and gave him a peck on the check. She then said, "Welcome to Ame academy.". Giggled and ran away down hall to the left. "This place has girls too?" She look at him. "Yes, there are more girls than boys at this school." he thought too him self. I must be in heaven
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:40 pm
Here's my sample post:
Hard panting were heard from afar. A gentle voice was shot from a child "Don't leave me again! We can-" BOOM! A small bomb was shot at him. Guarding his face, he wasn't afraid of this. He's been through this before.
"How many times do I have to tell you!? If we don't go we can't make money. We're almost out of money... I'm sorry..." A very stern voice yelled from far away.
"No..." But it was to late... Tears streamed the boys face as he wiped them away as he saw his two parents leave once again. He fell to the ground crying for another 30 minutes. After the sun turned to dawn he walked back to his home. He was still young but new exactly the works of his house and all the secret areas to get in.
Since then Laine was always been alone. There was the occasional time when his parents would stop by for a visit, but a visit only lasted so long. He didn't want that. That's why he vowed to never take the same path of his parents. The 'circus freaks' of what some of the neighborhood kids would call them. They were circus freaks. His dad being a professional bomb artist and his mom the assistant. Laine never wanted to leave his children so much as they did, but he wanted something with an adventure so he made a dream to be a ninja.
Being conjoined with the floorboards of the house, he has not grown that sense of social ability like the other kids. He does have some sort of grasp of it but not the best. Now that Laine is 14 he has been working in his dad's workshop, making bombs for himself to be a ninja like he wanted...
((that good?))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:08 pm
(My delicious rp example)
"Awesome!" Hiro's exclaimed as his voice distanced, he ran even faster from the boy standing next to him. It was finally his chance to shine, it was his dream to become a great ninja. His feet clipped and chlopped the old wooden floor as the small bamboo sandals bolted through the halls. Hiro was ready for all that he could be.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:25 am
@NexusBeta: That is like a story, and not really an RP post o.o; Well I guess you involved the NPC Iruka way too much XD And the learning process was kinda quick. Your grammar and spelling seems ok though. What if you do another sample with no NPCs?
@thimz23: This is also a story but the beginning is good << And it's just good XD The whole thing ^^ So... super pass~
@Spiketop55: Pass!
Uliquiorra I'll let Kitsune deal with you ^^
@Semby: AUTO PASS!!!!! Le beautiful crying
@Mazokai: O_o Very interesting XD Some tense problems though << Like you use past tense and present tense in the same paragraph. Also it's super fast paced... could you make it a little longer and slower paced?
@xxzodiacxx: Nice intro post! Pass!
@cheerios8: Well, I guess it is 4 lines, but it still seems a little short XD I'm assuming the Hiro's thing is a typo? At the beginning. A little longer and it will be a pass ^^ So, another one please? Or just lengthen this one.
|
|
|
|
|
|
kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
|
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:29 am
xAdvent_Childx My characters name is Kai Maikeru RP sample: (I hope this will suffice)(edited) "What whole did you crawl out of, rat!?" someone jeered from behind Kai. "Did you do this?" He asked, still kneeling with his back to the invader. "What of it? This village had it coming!" Another attacker chimed in. "You’re dead." Kai commented as if it were a fact. "What!? How dare you scum!" The attacker swung his broad sword intending to split his victim in half. "Bastards!" rang Kai's enraged yell. Pivoting to his feet while reaching out and grabbing his assaulters arm, twisting it up with a loud, audible pop. Turning on his left foot he let his right foot connect with his attacker's throat making the man spiral lifeless to the ground. Out of the corner of his eye, Kai saw the second mans sword cutting through the air at him. With speed greater then his opponent Kai dodged and landed a powerful punch to the torso, snapping the mans ribs like twigs. "What are you?" inquired the attacker, out of breathe and gagging. Kai handed a round-house kick to the mans neck, breaking it and watching the corpse fall to the ground.
Sorry for the wait ^^
I guess... this passes o.o
It's ok in terms of grammar and spelling and flows, and stuff... like Kitsune said it's very well they're waiting for each other to speak and you always use the pattern
"...! or whatever is said" [verb] [person] (or other way round).. I dunno, it seems really repetitive. But pass I suppose XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 12:41 pm
Uliquiorra I was thinking about girls at the moment so please forgive me for my mistake is this acceptable:Itazuki stared at the huge fortress a few yards ahead of him. He looked up at the scalding sun. Sweat was dripping down his face in rivers; he had been walking for days. Now he had finally arrived at his destination, and he could avenge his family. Letting his carefully placed shields down, he attempted to sense any nearby auras. If he was going to make it safely inside the heavily guarded castle, he would have to be aware of the slightest presence. ”Here goes nothing.” He murmured as he stealthily made his way to the east wall. He got over the wall easily enough, but the real challenge would be getting to the high tower undetected. Deathly silent he crept through the first floor, rounding the corner, he came upon a tremendous stone staircase.He sensed someone nearby, creeping up the staircase he tried to survey his enemy. There was a gargantuan demon just around the corner. Raising his sword he prepared for battle, mustering up all his courage he stepped out of his hiding spot. “Prepare to die foul beast.” He barked as he ran at the monstrosity before him. ((Um to things before I begin my rp experience here what is a run-on and anything I could work on with my rp?))
Pass.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:50 pm
Mazokai a young Ame student walked into the Ame academy. There was a desk with a young lady sitting behind it. Mazokai then walked up to her and said. "Uh.. i here for ninja training" the young lady look up"Ahhh we have ben waiting for you, Mazokai." Mazokai look surprised and said. " You have? But thi-" She then interupted him and said. "Yes we have. Please follow me." She lead him down a hall way. They then stoped at an empty room. "This is were you be staying. You have a roommate and you get along. Any quistion?" " Yay one were the bathro-" he stop as girl with blonde hair and really big....Eyes walked up to him and gave him a peck on the check. She then said, "Welcome to Ame academy.". Giggled and ran away down hall to the left. "This place has girls too?" She look at him. "Yes, there are more girls than boys at this school." he thought too him self. I going to have a great year because Im in heven. littel did he know life at Ame acadmy will be harder that he thought.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:05 pm
.(.Kitsune_Masakazu.). Uliquiorra I was thinking about girls at the moment so please forgive me for my mistake is this acceptable:Itazuki stared at the huge fortress a few yards ahead of him. He looked up at the scalding sun. Sweat was dripping down his face in rivers; he had been walking for days. Now he had finally arrived at his destination, and he could avenge his family. Letting his carefully placed shields down, he attempted to sense any nearby auras. If he was going to make it safely inside the heavily guarded castle, he would have to be aware of the slightest presence. ”Here goes nothing.” He murmured as he stealthily made his way to the east wall. He got over the wall easily enough, but the real challenge would be getting to the high tower undetected. Deathly silent he crept through the first floor, rounding the corner, he came upon a tremendous stone staircase.He sensed someone nearby, creeping up the staircase he tried to survey his enemy. There was a gargantuan demon just around the corner. Raising his sword he prepared for battle, mustering up all his courage he stepped out of his hiding spot. “Prepare to die foul beast.” He barked as he ran at the monstrosity before him. ((Um to things before I begin my rp experience here what is a run-on and anything I could work on with my rp?))
Pass.I'd kiss you if I knew how old you were and where you lived
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:10 pm
(gotcha, And Hiro is his name short for Hiroshi)
Hiroshi's strong fingers caressed the creatures hide, it's muscles tensed when his hand ran over them. The flawless body was meant for hard work, but It seemed so gentle so beautiful. His mouth open wide in awe, his stare was filled with wonder. "How could anything as beautiful and strong as this animal be captured by the human mind?" Hiroshi spoke without looking away from the horse.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 7:55 pm
Uliquiorra I'd kiss you if I knew how old you were and where you lived
@ Mazokai: To be blunt, there are a LOT of grammar and spelling mistakes. It's also very choppy and it's more like an introduction to a novella than a role-play. Can you please edit it and try to get rid of as many spelling/grammatical errors as possible?
@ Cheerios: I'll let Kouri get that....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:13 pm
What's that supposed to mean? I thought it was ok. Am I really that bad, I just think that I need to leave room for a reaction from other people to post.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:15 pm
See, I don't know what Kouri is looking for. If you want my opinion, it's good, but you ought to use as much detail as possible so that the other person can go off of something.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
|
Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 7:30 am
@Cheerios: I like it! Pass. :3 Although there are still some grammar mistakes it's not so much that it's unreadable~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:40 am
Ive had a look at the academy threads although i do RP in other sites so here is my sample
Ryu sat against the wall of the academy reading a scroll showing how to perform a copy jutsu, he had been reading it for some time so he decided so try put what he had seen into practise, he fumped on to the roof and waited for somebody to pass by. After a few minutes he spotted a girl passing by, he quietly chanted the jutsu and made the hand sign, he concentrated as hard as he could...poof...he looked down for a second and noticed a new pair of breasts, he tried not to laugh and quietly jumped down behind the girl he had copied, he walked quietly up behind her and tapped her shoulder, when she turned around she realised she was looking at herself, she stood with a stupid look on her face just staring until Ryu suddenly said "boo." The girl jumped and screamed at the top of her lungs
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 5:22 pm
Devil_Kenpachi Ive had a look at the academy threads although i do RP in other sites so here is my sample Ryu sat against the wall of the academy reading a scroll showing how to perform a copy jutsu, he had been reading it for some time so he decided so try put what he had seen into practise, he fumped on to the roof and waited for somebody to pass by. After a few minutes he spotted a girl passing by, he quietly chanted the jutsu and made the hand sign, he concentrated as hard as he could...poof...he looked down for a second and noticed a new pair of breasts, he tried not to laugh and quietly jumped down behind the girl he had copied, he walked quietly up behind her and tapped her shoulder, when she turned around she realised she was looking at herself, she stood with a stupid look on her face just staring until Ryu suddenly said "boo." The girl jumped and screamed at the top of her lungs
Would you please go back and edit it?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
