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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 1:23 pm
I'll just start things off for the previous page and this page only. If you're jutsu is on the previous page, that will be my next post.
Alright, here we go.
Cobra:
- Bakuton: Kasai Hara (Blast Release: Fire Field) - It looks good, but the radius is fairly large and the cost relatively low. Just shorten the range a bit and it should be good overall.
- Bakuton: Tsuin-kaen Tatsumaki no jutsu (Blast Release: Twin Flame Tornado technique) - How strong are the winds that act as a vacuum? Enough to throw off a wind technique or strong enough to uproot a tree? Please specify a range of power.
- Bakuton: Meruton Shippuu (Blast Release: Meltdown Gale) - I can see this being a ridiculous technique... rightfully so as an S or SS technique. Approved. I'd say SS for safe measure though.
~~
The Nerdbot:
- Kemuri Shindou (Smoke Impact) - Approved. I see nothing wrong with it, similar to Rasengan except not a spiral sphere... just a blast sphere. Aright.
- Nenshou Kemuri (Burning Smoke) - The range of the technique is too large, most smoke grenades hardly cover a 30 ft. area. But a 100ft radius? That's huge. Make it smaller, and approved. (maybe 30-50ft radius?) It is a low level technique after all.
- Kemuri Hebi (Smoke Snake) - It looks good, but since they are smoke and not attached to you in any way... give them a time limit. Like the snakes only last so many posts before dispersing once they've left you.
~~
Akura Bashirou:
- Kurisutarurirīsu: Ookami getsuga, Crystal release: Wolf Fang - Make it a B rank, since it has no post limit. And crystal element is strong in general so the wolf wouldn't be destroyed easily.
- Kurisutarurirīsu: De~yuaru ōkami sutoraiku, Crystal Release: Dual Wolf Strike - A rank.
((although I don't see why make a new technique all together. You could make it depending on rank you can make different number of wolves. More wolves, higher cost.))
~~
That is all. PM me alterations or just simply re-post/update the jutsus. But be sure to post and let me know if you updated them.
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:47 pm
Quote: - Kemuri Shindou (Smoke Impact) - Approved. I see nothing wrong with it, similar to Rasengan except not a spiral sphere... just a blast sphere. Aright. - Nenshou Kemuri (Burning Smoke) - The range of the technique is too large, most smoke grenades hardly cover a 30 ft. area. But a 100ft radius? That's huge. Make it smaller, and approved. (maybe 30-50ft radius?) It is a low level technique after all. - Kemuri Hebi (Smoke Snake) - It looks good, but since they are smoke and not attached to you in any way... give them a time limit. Like the snakes only last so many posts before dispersing once they've left you. i'll make the burning smoke range 40 ft. fair?
the smoke snakes will only be able to stay out for 5 posts.
anyway, thanks cool
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Hinote Tosatsu Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:54 pm
Stormold - Kurisutarurirīsu: De~yuaru ōkami sutoraiku, Crystal Release: Dual Wolf Strike - A rank. ((although I don't see why make a new technique all together. You could make it depending on rank you can make different number of wolves. More wolves, higher cost.)) This one was already denied. Please don't confuse him.
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:56 pm
Hinote Tosatsu Stormold - Kurisutarurirīsu: De~yuaru ōkami sutoraiku, Crystal Release: Dual Wolf Strike - A rank. ((although I don't see why make a new technique all together. You could make it depending on rank you can make different number of wolves. More wolves, higher cost.)) This one was already denied. Please don't confuse him. >.> Edited....
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 4:12 pm
The Nerdbot Quote: - Kemuri Shindou (Smoke Impact) - Approved. I see nothing wrong with it, similar to Rasengan except not a spiral sphere... just a blast sphere. Aright. - Nenshou Kemuri (Burning Smoke) - The range of the technique is too large, most smoke grenades hardly cover a 30 ft. area. But a 100ft radius? That's huge. Make it smaller, and approved. (maybe 30-50ft radius?) It is a low level technique after all. - Kemuri Hebi (Smoke Snake) - It looks good, but since they are smoke and not attached to you in any way... give them a time limit. Like the snakes only last so many posts before dispersing once they've left you. i'll make the burning smoke range 40 ft. fair?
the smoke snakes will only be able to stay out for 5 posts.
anyway, thanks cool
sounds good.
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 4:13 pm
Hinote Tosatsu Stormold - Kurisutarurirīsu: De~yuaru ōkami sutoraiku, Crystal Release: Dual Wolf Strike - A rank. ((although I don't see why make a new technique all together. You could make it depending on rank you can make different number of wolves. More wolves, higher cost.)) This one was already denied. Please don't confuse him. Honest mistake. So it's a firm denial I take it?
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 4:59 pm
MistahSixxPathsGod Your Rank:Genin Name of Jutsu:Kikaichu: Insect Bog Rank of Jutsu:C Range of Jutsu:Sixty meters Jutsu's Element:Aburame Description:Forcing his insects into the ground, Kay will make them all crawl across the ground at a foe and entrap them. Once they have done this the enemy will seem to sink into the ground, but in actuality he will simply be engulfed in insects and drag to the floor. The insects will rise with him in their midst, and crush down all around them at once, causing blunt force damage and sucking out chakra as well. The strength can cause ribs to snap under the weight, but afterward the insects return to sender. Rp Sample "You should always keep an Ace up your sleeve..." Kay said calmly as he walked out into the open field where his target stood. His insects swarmed out and scampered across the field floor. They moved quickly, swarming all around him and surrounding him with amazing speed. On Kay's command the numerous insects ensnared the poor ninja and wrap themselves all over him. They drug him to the ground quickly, and concentrated around him in a sphere. The kikaichu, draining chakra as they did so, rose up into the air, him in their midst, and Kay would squeeze his hand. The bugs would crush down all around him, his screams of pain reaching Kay's ears, and the sound of a few ribs cracking sounding off.
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:01 am
Hinote Tosatsu Kumo:Hyoton: Rose Creation: Two things. Most relevantly, I believe you meant aesthetic touch. Anesthetic is pain killer. I'd assume you were not trying to prevent your target from having pain by attacking them with a thorny object. If you were, that would be very cruel and ineffective, although it does bring back amusing memories of a game I used to play. Quote: Tosatsu has been attacked with the First Aid Kit! Tosatsu has been attacked with the First Aid kit! Tosatsu has been knocked unconscious! Tosatsu has been attacked with the First Aid Kit! You get the picture. It got even better when they tried to attack you with pain killers or a canister of anesthetic gas. Second point, seeing as this is a D rank, that at the moment gives you the equivalent of one very very cruel senbon, I'd be willing to let you have it make multiple at once. Maybe, five or so? Yeah, Aesthetic, I keep getting those two confused. xD That game seems extremely entertaining... o3o I want it... eek surprised sad crying Th-thank you Hinote! So I'll edit it, and then hopefuly I'll be allowed to use it soon. ^.^
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Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:18 pm
Your Rank:jounin Name of Jutsu:Ode to Joy Rank of Jutsu:C Range of Jutsu:Must be in view. Jutsu's Element:Sound Genjutsu Description:This jutsu will make any unlucky opponent hear nothing but Beethoven's ninth symphony for a base of three posts. While eharing this jutsu, all other sounds will be muffled, but not completely blocked, making hearing possible, but difficult as the Ode to Joy blairs in their brain. It can and should be used in conjunction with other hearing based jutsu since it IS JUST A DANG SONG PLAYIN LOUDLY BUT NOT PAINFULLY IN YOUR HEAD! Rp SampleAs Taki got a bit of distance from his target using his brother as a distraction, he did handseals and focused his chakra on his opponent. Suddenly, the sounds of Ode to JOy would fill his mind, the harmless symphony maybe distracting him, maybe muffling out a few other sounds, but in all other ways just a harmless genjutsu.
~
There?
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Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 8:02 pm
@Mistah:
Kikaichu: Insect Bog - Denied
For a C rank technique, its way overpowered. For it to cause force damage, chakra drain and broken ribs from one attack is just way to much. In my opinion this would be more of an A rank just by the shear force of it all. I also don't see how ribs could be broken from such an attack, you raise him up and slam the opponent back down on the floor, nothing that should really cause ribs to break. Spinal damage would seem to make more sense.
Ode to Joy - Denied
Um, I'm not so sure if Beethoven would even be avaliable or would've been known in the shinobi world but okay. Aside from that though, for something that could be so disrubting to the mind, I believe it should be B rank instead of C rank and from your Rp Sample, you said that your opponent lost control and began to convulse all over the ground which is something that wasn't mentioned in your description. For something to make one begin convulsing, I really feel that C rank is under-rating it. You also forgot to include the range.
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Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:42 pm
White Water Lilly @Mistah: Kikaichu: Insect Bog - DeniedFor a C rank technique, its way overpowered. For it to cause force damage, chakra drain and broken ribs from one attack is just way to much. In my opinion this would be more of an A rank just by the shear force of it all. I also don't see how ribs could be broken from such an attack, you raise him up and slam the opponent back down on the floor, nothing that should really cause ribs to break. Spinal damage would seem to make more sense. Ode to Joy - DeniedUm, I'm not so sure if Beethoven would even be avaliable or would've been known in the shinobi world but okay. Aside from that though, for something that could be so disrubting to the mind, I believe it should be B rank instead of C rank and from your Rp Sample, you said that your opponent lost control and began to convulse all over the ground which is something that wasn't mentioned in your description. For something to make one begin convulsing, I really feel that C rank is under-rating it. You also forgot to include the range. The convulsing came from the beat motion jutsu. Also it's a genjutsu, so I figured the range would be a given. Also, how is it disturbing to the mind. It makes you hear Ode to Joy in your ears really loud, but not even annoyingly so. Just a loud sound that muffles other things> Seriously it's just a calling card I want. Considering a d ranked ninjutsu can thrown shuriken at you, and another one can send you under ground, I think C rank is a little too much for a jutsu that only makes you hear a song...
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Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:59 pm
Seeing as you are not applying for beat motion, this sample should focus around this genjutsu. Adding in stuff like that just makes it more confusing to read.
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Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:08 pm
MistahSixxPathsGod Your Rank:jounin Name of Jutsu:Ode to Joy Rank of Jutsu:C Range of Jutsu:Must be in view. Jutsu's Element:Sound Genjutsu Description:This jutsu will make any unlucky opponent hear nothing but Beethoven's ninth symphony for a base of three posts. While eharing this jutsu, all other sounds will be muffled, but not completely blocked, making hearing possible, but difficult as the Ode to Joy blairs in their brain. It can and should be used in conjunction with other hearing based jutsu since it IS JUST A DANG SONG PLAYIN LOUDLY BUT NOT PAINFULLY IN YOUR HEAD!Rp SampleAs Taki got a bit of distance from his target using his brother as a distraction, he did handseals and focused his chakra on his opponent. Suddenly, the sounds of Ode to JOy would fill his mind, the harmless symphony maybe distracting him, maybe muffling out a few other sounds, but in all other ways just a harmless genjutsu. ~ There?
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