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She nodded some as she walked in sitting beside him she as soon as she sat felt tears well up again. Her voice was a whisper. "I need help Mirza, he says one thing and does another.. Now its him or Llyr.. I think the only thing that would make him happy sometimes is if i handed Thanatos away and shut myself off from anyone and everyone but the three of you. Which is something i can't do. Help me Mirza." She said softly looking at her hands. "You remember back then when he died.. sorta anyway and.. i mean you know i was so messed up i would see images of him. i would trick myself with my own power and talk to him."

She looked confused looking back at her son. "What are you talking about Mirza? I never said i wanted to trick him. I said I used to trick myself when we all thought he was dead into seeing him." She shook her head. "No i don't want to trick him take that thought away. I just want him to be better I want to fix things which like i said i don't think will happen unless i throw Thanatos away and lock myself away from anyone else. I just want advice since you two are so close."

She stood in those few words about Thanatos he had turned away from her she knew it she knew it.. He was refuseing her as well she walked towards the door looking back to him her purple eyes watching him tears fell but she still stood very stright. "If we could have helped it we would not have sent the two of you away so often and now.. now i can help it Mirza and what's more he is my blood.. my flesh.. Jack might be the father by blood but haven't you noticed thats it. I asked nothing from Matachi in that i didn't ask for him to claim him and i didn't ask for him to be nice to him, but like it or not Thanatos is just as much my son as you and Artrious." She walked out then, left the castle she was going to go finsh things with Insomia if she died.. if she lost the world was gone.. done.. but either way.. the thing that upset her was that if death took the world after Insomia killed her then there would be no world to come home to.. she would die hated and unloved.. Matachi would always hold it aginst her lifetime after lifetime.. Jack might never come to her again, how many hundreds of years had it been? Her sons hated her all but one who had a doomed fate as it was and the small bit of love he could take growing up would be stolen from him if she died.

She was crying when she turned around and looked at him walking to sit beside him. "Because i don't get it.. " Now she was hysterical. "He asked me back told me we would work on things and now wants nothing to do with me.. o he does but i think the only way he would ever be happy with me is to give Thanatos away and stop having any connection with anyone but the three of us.. and ..and right now we have enemies everywhere.. I went to Mirza because.. well him and Matachi are so alike to tell me what to do.. I am .. i mean i do ..i am trying Artrious i am.. and i don't understand and it only upsets him more and more.. I mean ..." She shook her head slightly. "Now its Llyr that upsets him because he is tired of me putting it in front of him but.. Artrious Llyr is everything.. my father gave me two things in this world what mortality i have and Llyr and i do love Llyr first before anything, he had known that before we were ever even together." She hadn't thought about it.. hadn't known it had all come out in one bit.. "I am sorry Artrious.. I shouldn't have said all of that.. I am sorry."

"Mirza said that i should get rid of Thanatos.. which i won't. He is blood and he is.. " She shook her head slightly. "Even though you will put up with those around you that want to use you for what you are you will not know the pressure it puts on you coming from both places. I know this hurts him but Llyr is not mine i am its more so than i will ever be anything elses no matter what anyone says." She spoke looking to Artrious. "I do understand how that upsets him but he knew that from the start and he ... he wanted to work things out with me now he doesn't now he wants death. I have no idea what I am doing now Artrious but i do know the only thing i know for sure is that i have to beat Insomia because there is a much bigger enemy coming." She spoke a thought coming to her as she stood up. Looking down to him again she spoke. He did look like Matachi it made her want to ball into tears again. "If I don't come back, don't let them..." Her words hurt saying it.. "Thanatos make sure where ever he goes is.. make sure he will be happy and don't.. don't let Jack take him to the gods i want him.. I want him to know what love is before he has to become what he really is."

"I am trying Artrious." Not reaching out of the way. "and i will try again if it is needed.. i was not running away i won't do that but .." She shook her head then. "Lets go then." Katherine was not a mean or demanding person of anyone she didn't know how to do that she could fake it, but that was it she had a hard enough time asking something of anyone. She was willing to go try again since Artrious believed she could and if Matachi's own son throught so it must be true.

She went up stairs with Artrious seeing the sight she was the drinker usually and this.. this was hard to understand. She stood a little strighter trying her best to look stern she took the bottle from his hand and threw it off the balcony. "Matachi we are going to talk, to seriously talk.. and i wish." This is were all her stereness went away worry in her eyes as her hand lifed touching his forehead moving stands of hair from his face. "You would let me try and heal you up alittle bit."

"I.." She took a breath looking a bit stern again her hand going to her side. "You have to stop this, you didn't bring me back here to watch you drink yourself to death. You brought me back here because you want me back as much as i want your forgiveness." She was not sure he did but she took his hand acting like she was sure of it. She was hopful and for these moments forgot that he knew her thoughts.