NEWSBREAK 12/4/09:Started having a Scrupulosity breakdown...
...But it was in slow motion.
I don't know why, but it was.
I got this obsession with covering my head. I wanted to cover my head all the time with this beanie hat I have, but because of the slow motion I was able to fight the urge until I was able to try it briefly without pressure or dependency. I liked it, but I won't allow myself to do it all the time.
As seen in "RANT!!!!!!!," I developed a Judaic Inferiority complex about my parentage as a disability and, to a far lesser extent for once, my Reform nature. Slow motion let me get over myself about my lineage and a new Rebbe mentor who runs my Tefillah helped me get over myself about Reform philosiphy and observancy.
At least I'm a Progressive Reform Jew and not a Classical Reform Jew, the ads for the society of which has very misleading traditional advertisements.
So, the slow motion gave me a chance to stop it. What was it? Experience? Divine intervention? Or was it just a slow-motion-car-crash effect thing?
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In other news, I wrote an absurd, short play about my life starring ezaggerated versions of my friends. It's hilarious. Except for the last scene, which was supposed to be sad even though no one got that.
All the major events and a lot of the dialogue in the short series of six scenes and five pages really happened. All except for the last scene, in which my character's weird behavior ends him up with his friends calling him "special."
My friends thought it was funny and not sad that I wrote that because it turns out, that actually happened.
I hate the word "special" when it's used in that kind of a context where it's usually followed by 'needs.' Calling people like me "special" is so patronizing!
I was angry at my friend for a while but with lots of help I eventually got over myself.
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This chich might like me, and that's just great but I have very little experience because of my social skill problems.
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