Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit for a spell
I'll tell you why the ******** I am dining in hell
In polis of Sparta born and raised
Trainin' with weapons s'how I spent most of my days
'N being a king was really cool
But I still got cockblocked by some Ephori fool'
Then that guy called Xerxes
Who was up to no good
Startin' makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I kicked his one little messenger and my wife got scared
She said "You're taking 300 guys bodyguards to you-know-where"
I whistled for the Persians and when they came near
They all said "run" and we stabbed them in rear
If anything I can say we fought real well
But then a retard betrayed us and we'd all go to Hell
They charged up the goat patch at about 7 or 8
I yelled to the Persians "Yo homes, kill ya later"
When I opened my eyes
I was finally there
To start dining in Hell with Hades the waiter
