Welcome to Gaia! ::

you couldn't even begin to understand. No one does. Its not just girlfriends. Its family, friends, people in general. Not once in my life other than my father has anyone truly ever loved me.

They say holding a grudge will rot you inside. i wonder why I don't collapse from decomposition?

Have you ever been locked inside your room by your parents and forced to piss in the corner because they won't even let you out to pee?

Have you ever been told a material item was worth more than your life when you are six years of age?

Have you been held down by a family member and beaten with a wet sheet over and over again just for the amusement of the family member?

Have you been neglected because your mother marries a man who is not your father and pays attention to his children and ignores you?

Have you been the outcast in school while your step sister and everyone else has friends and people to talk to?

Have you ever been tied down to a bed at the age of nine and anally raped by someones kid who your parents trusted?

Have you been looked down on for being the only child born from your parents never being married?

Have you ever spent your life looking for someone to love you and only receive the cold stare or bitter turn of the head to ignore your presence?

Is every waking moment a living hell because no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can never escape the person you have become. Escape the vile piece of trash that stands before you as you look into the mirror.

If all of these things don't apply to you I ask that during any conversation with me that you never whine or b***h about any of them. Cause for 20 years of my life that has been me. That is what I am. That is what i will always be. For some reason God decided to curse me at birth. My mother whoring herself out to my father began my life. I will never have the pride to say I was born honorably. Nor will i be able to live happily. If I am a product of my surroundings, then what state of the world would that mean this planet is in?

I'm done.

I truly do know this is love. The love from my father is realer than anything you could know. The fact is that love between a man and a woman is the love that people can't understand. Don't try to feel big bubby. You won't ever truly know what real pain is. The lifes you people live are at least recoverable. You can be happy later on in your life. Even if the current one is shitty. With me, i won't ever be able to escape the s**t that suffocates me. The filth that is my life will never end. God saw to that.

Because our lives have ******** us over. we never deserved this. We should have been happy. But when you do get out there. Kill as many as you can. Kill an extra few for me. If the world can take away from good people like me and you then by god we deserve a little revenge.

i chose Marines coz they have the greatest physical demand and then i could kick anyones a**. even my cousin, brother, uncles anyone. and just...the honor of being a Marine

no the main thing is just being able to know you had the greatest physical demand and i can rub it Jamison's face since he's only gonna be a coast guard, which dont get me wrong is equally important. but theres a reason Marines usually have the highest honor