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 Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:31 pm
Granted you now are a proud owner of a motercycle. Unfortunetly there are many parts missing as you have bought one that does not run. While fixing the werck all your long beautiful hair is burnt off. crying
I wish my hair was long and beautiful.
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Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:45 pm
Granted. However long hair becomes a Heresy in the Church which you go to and you end up being burnt at the stake for refusing to cut it and "align yourself with the devil!"
I wish i was omnipotent.
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Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 3:37 pm
Granted. But you suddenly think yourself so amazing that you become like Plato's god (or was it Aristotle or Socrates? Ah, who knows.) and sit and ponder your amazingness for all eternity, not caring what goes on around you.
I wish my dogs hadn't run away and needed 90 dollars in shots before the court trial.
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:17 am
Granted. Instead of getting loose they tore up everything they could while no one was paying attention. The house, the yard, anything they could. It looks like a tornatdo centralized at your house. The neighboors call the animal control who come and pick up your dogs. Someone in the neighborhood beautifaction also notifys the city and you now have hundreds of dallors in fines aswell as trying to get your dogs back from animal control. Fun.
I wish the bills for my surgery back in october were all paied off.
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:45 am
Granted. But the surgery you got wasn't what you'd wanted. Instead you woke up with pen0r and an extra boob. But you'd signed a contract that says you can't sue and have to pay for the surgery anyway.
I wish I had enough pans to make the enchiliadas for my friends babys funeral pot luck. crying
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 11:16 am
Granted: you have lots of "pans" but your wish was granted by a Spaniard and you now simply have a lot of bread.
And you can't cook much in bread.
I wish all my student loans could be paid off in candy corn.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 8:58 pm
Granted. However, the day before this becomes true, the value of the dollar, yen, rupee, pound and Euro all crash so hard that candy corn, easy to produce and popular in many places, becomes a substitute for the dollar.
A wild rush of candy corn production ensues, inflating the value of the CC (seesee) as it's called that it collapses, causing a massive candy corn depression.
Suddenly, the value of CCs drops to almost nothing and it relegates its status to better food than money.
You are able to get the candy corn you need after this bust, however, a new chosen commodity becomes the world currency - tadpoles.
I wish pears didn't taste so awful so I could make my grammy happy and enjoy the pies she bakes.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 10:52 pm
Granted you now find pears to be your favorit fruit. Unfoutnetly you have become addicted to pears in all their juciy sandy glory. After your contatly devouring all her pies your gran has banned you from the pear and has switched to Lemon Merange that now make you nusous on sight.
I wish my grandmother didn't ask me to tell my sister that she is starting to resemble Rosie O'dannel. (Fat, rude, loud, and over oppenonated). Said sister thinks grandmother has gone loony. I wish they didn't put me in the middle.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 11:05 pm
Haha, "sandy." That's the perfect word to describe those yucky fruits.
Granted: they both get along famously. So well, in fact, that you become the odd-man out (woman/non-gendered individual/disembodied entity) and are forced to strike out on your own to find a new family.
Not a totally bad ending, though, as though your new family, which is made of bears, smells and doesn't really know much about manners, you have all the nuts, fruit and pillage pic-a-nic baskets you could ever need. biggrin
I wish Allah, YHWH and Budda would get into a big soap opera fist fight, make up and fall in gay love with each other.
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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:12 am
Oh my grandmother already says I'm not part of the family anymore... I spend more time with my otherhalf's family. Bears... close....
Granted Jerry Springer is more then thrilled when Allah calls into his show about his problems with Yhwh and budda. The next day in front of a live addudince "I'm the better god." begins. Jerry is surprised when Allah comes out and is also Yhwh. Same guy multiple personalities. Budda in the other hand was told this was an all you can eat buffet. Allah/Yhwh starts in on Budda "Your not even a real god!" A fist fight insues that envelopes the majority of the addudince. Budda rips out most of Allah's hair before getting a chair across his chubby face. He starts crying like a girl. Yhwh takes budda in his arms and starts wispering sweet nothings to him. They start to make out. Then Allah takes over and pushes budda away saying his butt is still sore from the last time. Budda and Yhwh are gay lovers and Allah has a problem with it.
Unfoutunetly people are 100% currten that there god is real and Athists never hear the end of it.
I wish the annoying guy in my history class would get his mouth sown shut so he couldn'y ask stupid questions. (The teacher had just finished stated that slaves, prisoners of war, and free man volntiers fought in the gladiator games. The stupid guy then interupted the class to ask If all the people that fought as gladiators were slaves. If he was listening he wouldn't interupt the class ever few minuets)!
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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:47 am
banryuu Oh my grandmother already says I'm not part of the family anymore... I spend more time with my otherhalf's family. Bears... close.... Granted Jerry Springer is more then thrilled when Allah calls into his show about his problems with Yhwh and budda. The next day in front of a live addudince "I'm the better god." begins. Jerry is surprised when Allah comes out and is also Yhwh. Same guy multiple personalities. Budda in the other hand was told this was an all you can eat buffet. Allah/Yhwh starts in on Budda "Your not even a real god!" A fist fight insues that envelopes the majority of the addudince. Budda rips out most of Allah's hair before getting a chair across his chubby face. He starts crying like a girl. Yhwh takes budda in his arms and starts wispering sweet nothings to him. They start to make out. Then Allah takes over and pushes budda away saying his butt is still sore from the last time. Budda and Yhwh are gay lovers and Allah has a problem with it. Unfoutunetly people are 100% currten that there god is real and Athists never hear the end of it. I wish the annoying guy in my history class would get his mouth sown shut so he couldn'y ask stupid questions. (The teacher had just finished stated that slaves, prisoners of war, and free man volntiers fought in the gladiator games. The stupid guy then interupted the class to ask If all the people that fought as gladiators were slaves. If he was listening he wouldn't interupt the class ever few minuets)! Granted. The annoying little man has his mouth magically sewn shut upon entering your class. Sadly, his head is overwhelmed with the hot air he can no longer spew, and within a few moments, he explodes. The pieces splat all over the history classroom walls as well as the rest of the class. And you get the worst of it. I wish all my college tuition was paid for.
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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:44 pm
Granted. Now you can pay for my college tution with your excess of money now left over from not having to pay your own.
I wish I could just find a bank that wasn't stupid. Seriously.
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Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:40 am
PickleBoy Granted. Now you can pay for my college tution with your excess of money now left over from not having to pay your own. I wish I could just find a bank that wasn't stupid. Seriously. Granted, you find a bank that is smart--so smart, that they entirely outsmart you for all of your life savings, every investment, and literally every penny outta you--all because of one accidentally bounced check. It's no use trying to fight back for your money--they were smart and thought ahead time--they have smart, damn good lawyers. I wish the paranoid jerk who tried to get me for harrassment suffers a nasty case of Herpegonnahsyphillis.
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Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 4:01 pm
(Weird Al wouldn't hate me... He'd LOVE ME!! biggrin )
Granted, but he passes it to you, and nobody knows what the hell it is, so nobody can cure it.
I wish people would look at what is right in front of their faces.
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Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:26 pm
Granted: everyone becomes extremely myopic and all forms of high-speed travel must be decommissioned.
I wish I didn't always need to pee during the most interesting parts of movies.
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