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Akabane slowly walk over to the Academy. He yawned slightly, he had stayed up late last night with his mother whom made Genjutsus all around the house. He aspired to be an ANBU and his mother helped him reached his goal. Last night he was looking all around the place for Genjutsus to cancel. His hazel eyes scanned his surroundings, his right hand was well dug on his black pants. The boy blinked twice as he noticed that he was already at the Academy.

Entering slowly he walked into his classroom and looked around. He spotted the Otokage there, without a word he bowed slightly "Otokage, it is an honor to have you here..." Akabane said softly, he was slightly surprised to see the Otokage here, thought he wondered why he was there in the first place. Looking to the other person there he noticed Duke. Akabane smiled and looked back at the Otokage.

Ok, here goes nothing, my characters are two twins, Ryu and Sakura (Sakura ins't original, I know, but it fitted her perfectly since their last names are Hayashi (Meaning Forest))

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Sample
"RYU!" Sakura yelled at the top of her lungs, her brown hair billowing in the breeze, "RYU!" she yelled again, where was that brother of hers? "HAYASHI RYU GET YOUR BACKSIDE OUT HERE NOW!!!!!!!!!" she screeched at the top of her voice, anger creeping in at every word, she was getting angry, "RYU!" she roared again, "WE NEED TO GO!"

A boy, about fourteen came running down the stairs, he was half dressed. He was wearing a pair of trousers, and a checkered brown shirt and t-shirt combo. "What Sakura?" he yelled at her, he ran towards the shoe rack and quickly put on his converse trainers.

"WE NEED TO GO!!!!!!!!" Sakura yelled again.

"Why?"

"WE'RE GOING TO THE ACADEMY!"

"STOP YELLING!"

Sakura's eyes widened slightly and she sighed, "Sorry..... Drama Queen moment there....." she laughed.

"I'll say!" Ryu muttered, "Let's just go!"
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Sorry if it isn't good enough, I'll try and make it up if I can.... Or change it for the better....... sweatdrop

Razputin jumped from roof to roof looking for any relief from onslaught of hail. His clothes had become heavy and soaked though he had only just left the house. Each foot fall was accompanied by the crunch of fresh fallen ice. The icy winds and harsh white of his surroundings pained his eyes, but it mattered not where he looked for it seemed that the wind blew in his direction no matter which way he turned. He pulled the crimson red goggles from atop his head to help stop the sting of the wind. His world turned to a fiery red as he did so but the pain in his eyes where gone. It seemed his body had been stuck in two separate places, one in a world of ice and cold winds the other in a desert of heat and fire.

He gave one last bound before ducking into an alleyway. He removed his goggles rubbing his eyes with his soddened gloves. The winds howled through the alleyway as if waiting for him to leave the protection of walls. His breathing was heavy and ice formed on his breath, but now was not the time to stop. He returned to the world of red dashing out of the alleyway. As he took his final step out of the alleyway a wall of cold ice, and frozen bitter winds slammed into his body making him gasp. He dashed in zigzags trying to keep heat in his body but nothing helped. If he didn't reach his destination soon, cold would be the least of his problems.

You don't need so many elipses, and there are a few words that were split in two that are actually one whole word. However, those are minor nitpicking by myself, so...yeah. =_='

Pass.

To tell the truth, I never wrote anything past that. Its was supposed to be my intro to one of Night_wraiths Rps but it died kinda fast, no thanks to school.

You have multiple tenses in here, and many spelling mistakes. You need to go through and check for editing mistakes, and if that's hard for you, if you spot any in the future, make sure that you go back in and edit things.

Also, it's really hard to read gigantuan (yes, not a word) paragraphs...try splitting this up a bit, would you? If you edit it and split up the massive block of text, I'll go over it again and probably pass you. XP

@ Sal: ...wow. Roleplaying like that seems hard to come by nowadays. XP

EDITED RP SAMPLE:

"I'm going be late again. This will be the second time this week." Calo mentioned to himself as he ran thorught the streets and allies. As he was running, he tilted his head to notice a man and his cart coming right at him. With enough time and luck, Calo jumped backwards barely missing the cart. The man quickly stop his cart and shouted at him, "Hey, watch where your going you brat!!" Calo shouted back, "Look who talking idiot!!" Before he can continue to yell, he suddenly remember about his classes. "O s**t, I need to hurry!!" he shouted as he ran around the cart and started to run like his very life was on the line.

Only a few minutes later, he arrived to his destination. "Now lets just sneak in here without being seen and then I'll be home free" he thought as he slowly started to practically tumbling from tree to tree. From tree to bench, wherever he can hide.

He managed to sneak his way to the door. "Hehe, I'm home free now" he thought. But before he can touch the door knob he heard a familiar voice behind him. "Your 30 minutes late to class Calo, care to explain?" Calo immediately jumped and turned his head behind him and said back, "Hey there Taro-sensei, I can explain about being late. This is kinda a funny story actually you see..." But before he could actually say anything else Taro shouted,"I don't want to hear your excuses now get into the classroom!" Calo jumped up in the air like he seen a ghost. When he landed, he immediately threw the door open and ran into the classroom and sat in the closest seat to the door.