|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:24 pm
kouri-chan_xx @Kerwyn: Pass! although the amount of times you say Athrun later on makes it very tedious to read >.< Still ok though :3
@Tony Romani: Super pass! Yay! Does a little dance I'll work on improving my mistake, thanks!!! xd
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:44 pm
Inuzuka Soshaka was sitting on his windowsill, looking at all the action going on outside. The city of Konoha was hustling and bustling, and the streets were packed with shinobi and kunoichi who were on their way to training, or maybe to by some new ninja equipment.
Reaching his hand down lazily, Soshaka scratched his dog's, Senkou, head. Senkou raised his head and lifted his ears, but soon calmed down as the expert hands guided their way through his fur, scratching that perfect spot behind the ears. Laying his head back down and resting his ears, Senkou waited for his masters instructions.
Pulling a piece of beef jerky out of his pocket, Soshaka ripped it in two, sticking some in his mouth and offering some to Senkou. Senkou lifted his head and sniffed once, twice, and then quickly snatched up the small half, and then once again lay his head back down.
"Pretty boring day today, eh, Senkou? Nobody seems to be doing anything." Soshaka turned his head back down, out of his window, surveying the buy marketplace. "Not anyone I know, anyways. Seems like just another boring weekend." Senkou had raised his head in excitement, but this last statement had bogged down his dreams of fun. Soshaka noticed his dog's reaction, and retorted, "Well, if your gonna be like that, then we'll just wait until the weekend is over." Soshaka turned back to the window, his brown hair pressing against it as he looked out on the crowd again, muttering somethings about disloyalty.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 8:54 pm
Raw Butter Inuzuka Soshaka was sitting on his windowsill, looking at all the action going on outside. The city of Konoha was hustling and bustling, and the streets were packed with shinobi and kunoichi who were on their way to training, or maybe to by some new ninja equipment. Reaching his hand down lazily, Soshaka scratched his dog's, Senkou, head. Senkou raised his head and lifted his ears, but soon calmed down as the expert hands guided their way through his fur, scratching that perfect spot behind the ears. Laying his head back down and resting his ears, Senkou waited for his masters instructions. Pulling a piece of beef jerky out of his pocket, Soshaka ripped it in two, sticking some in his mouth and offering some to Senkou. Senkou lifted his head and sniffed once, twice, and then quickly snatched up the small half, and then once again lay his head back down. "Pretty boring day today, eh, Senkou? Nobody seems to be doing anything." Soshaka turned his head back down, out of his window, surveying the buy marketplace. "Not anyone I know, anyways. Seems like just another boring weekend." Senkou had raised his head in excitement, but this last statement had bogged down his dreams of fun. Soshaka noticed his dog's reaction, and retorted, "Well, if your gonna be like that, then we'll just wait until the weekend is over." Soshaka turned back to the window, his brown hair pressing against it as he looked out on the crowd again, muttering somethings about disloyalty. Pass
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:42 am
Citrus Samurai Daffodil walked over to his window. The window frame was made out of a rich oak, the glass was many shades blue from the sun shine. Outside many people where getting ready to go to the 1st day at the ninja academy. Daffodil himself was also getting ready to go the academy. He put on his yellow shirt, and blue jeans. Daffodil walked, opened his window, and jumped out. He loved the cool end of summer wind blow though his face. He made it safely to the stone ground. He started to walk to the academy. He took a short cut though the market place. Many smells wafted though the air. Daffodil made his way to the old academy it was in need of repair. He opened the old cider door. It made a creaking sound as it was opened. Daffodil found his desk. The desk was very old, maybe as old as the school. He sat down and waited for class to start.
You use a lot of 'he's.. it's not wrong, but it can make reading tedious~ But otherwise pretty good, pass~
|
|
|
|
|
|
kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
|
Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:43 am
RokuoX Well here's my RP sample: A kunai knife thumped into the tree trunk and three more wizzed past towards the cloaked figure. The figure quickly turned around, pulling form its side another kunai knife. With ease the figure defelcted each of the knives with his own. The attacker continued to pursue him, two more kunai knives drawn. The attacker forced his fist forward at the cloaked man who grabbed the fist and then punched the man in the chest sending him back into a tree. Quickly regaining his compusure, the attacker stood up and spoke "Kenji I have found you at last..." he lifted up his hand which tightly clecnhed a kunai. Kenji removed his cloak revealing his image. He stood rather tall at 6 feet. His short black hair hung lightly infront of his eyes. The attacker then threw the kunai forward towards Kenji's heart. Kenji did not attempt to move, instead his hands went infront of him forming several hand sings in an instant. The kunai then struck him in the chest and then a second later in a puff of smoke he disappeared, the kunai continuing to move forward and hitting the tree that was behind him. That attacker's eyes opened wide and quickly spun around. Looking straight into his eyes was kenji. The attacker grunted then fell back wards. Kenji's hand clenched a bloody which he then wipped on the side of his pant leg. He then inserted back into the haolster on his side. Paacing his cloak back over his body, Kenji continued forward through the forest.
Somehow you miss out some words... O_o
Also, this is like a story, not really an RP post. There is a small difference, because in RP you have to like wait for the other guy, and stuff. Can you do another one? :3 That is more like an RP post and less like a story.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:44 am
Zeph34r I hope this will be alright for a sample (name and situation are random): The air was calm, and yet Sakuei saw the whip crash at him. He wasn't fast enough to evade, and it took several blows at his body. One hit right across his face, another on his shoulder. The blood fell down his face as if it was a rain drop, leaving a trail of it down to his neck. His arm felt lighter, as if the blood was being taken out of it. The feeling made him twitch with pain. Saku skidded on the ground and looked up with blue eyes at his enemy and inticipated his next move. He made a simple hand sign and leaped to his right, then smashed his foot into the ground. The ground shifted up, making a small quake around the area. Saku leaped onto the broken earth, and made a few more hand signs. "Now you will see what I have learned." His chakra formed around his body, and started to swirl in a rapid motion. The ground below the two shinobi was shaking. The wind's gentle breeze became strong gusts of wind. Dust and dirt swirled and surrounded both of them. Sakuei formed his last seal and clapped his hands together, waiting for the right moment to make his move.
I like this!!! Pass~!
|
|
|
|
|
|
kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:59 pm
Thank you kouri-chan_xx
for passing me ill be sure to work on that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:08 am
Like every day when his mother worked, Masato snuck into her room to see his father's headband. It was coming close to three years since his father left on a mission but did not yet return. His mother kept the headband in an old box under the wooden panels of the floor. With his only hand he slowly felt down the waterfall symbol that was carved in the headband. Masato could still remember his father telling him that he was in such a rush to be born that he left his right arm behind.
Masato flipped the headband over and laid his forehead against it, carefully tying the headband around his head. He sat up and examined to his satisfaction the reflection in a full body mirror. Masato imagined himself defending the village and gallantly defeating the invading ninja.
"I'll make you proud dad, you'll see. I'll show you when you come back for my graduation." Masato declared to his reflection before untying the headband and slowly placing it back where he found it.
It never accrued to Masato that his father was killed on the mission that was coming close to three years ago.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
|
Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:34 am
Moger Like every day when his mother worked, Masato snuck into her room to see his father's headband. It was coming close to three years since his father left on a mission but did not yet return. His mother kept the headband in an old box under the wooden panels of the floor. With his only hand he slowly felt down the waterfall symbol that was carved in the headband. Masato could still remember his father telling him that he was in such a rush to be born that he left his right arm behind. Masato flipped the headband over and laid his forehead against it, carefully tying the headband around his head. He sat up and examined to his satisfaction the reflection in a full body mirror. Masato imagined himself defending the village and gallantly defeating the invading ninja. "I'll make you proud dad, you'll see. I'll show you when you come back for my graduation." Masato declared to his reflection before untying the headband and slowly placing it back where he found it. It never accrued to Masato that his father was killed on the mission that was coming close to three years ago.
Awww...... I feel so bad for Masato >.< Pass! Is your character basically him?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:17 am
Yep, Masato is going to be the character I'll be playing. I have about six more days before I can apply though. That does give me plenty of time to study and learn the rules.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
|
Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 7:09 am
:3 I really like your attitude!
If I had more time I would take the Taki Academy job for sure >.< As it is I'm sure you don't want a half assed teacher in the future so yeah.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 4:29 am
Hey im Duke and i didint notice this befor going to a village but if its not to late ill just post... Duke from nowere since sound village was closed... crying I LOVED TAT SOUND VILLAGE! crying but ppl pass on! if my english is bad please dont blame me since my first language spanish. now im learning french 3nodding
RP:
Duke stood in the dark solitary forest. He stood there shivering (is that how its wrote?) and thought he should keep runing away. When he sees a misterious man charge on him. Duke closes his eyes and thinks of his past. When the blow hits Duke and he falls into the ground.
You didint say it had to be a possitive Rp example! rofl If u want it positive ill re-do it. But for now thats my RP
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 9:50 pm
Duke Oicaroh Hey im Duke and i didint notice this befor going to a village but if its not to late ill just post... Duke from nowere since sound village was closed... crying I LOVED TAT SOUND VILLAGE! crying but ppl pass on! if my english is bad please dont blame me since my first language spanish. now im learning french 3nodding RP: Duke stood in the dark solitary forest. He stood there shivering (is that how its wrote?) and thought he should keep runing away. When he sees a misterious man charge on him. Duke closes his eyes and thinks of his past. When the blow hits Duke and he falls into the ground. You didint say it had to be a possitive Rp example! rofl If u want it positive ill re-do it. But for now thats my RP
I have to give my apologies in advance- you're the first person I'm critiquing right now, so...and I KNOW I can be pretty a**l about writing. XP
There could be more description with this, and if you catch some spelling or grammar errors later (shivering is right, although running and mysterious aren't, as well as written...*Is a Grammar Nazi* XP) To be honest, though, depressing and dark things tend to be fairly better in the roleplay world than when everything is all happy bubbly.
Before I pass you, though, (and of course both Bromisto and Kouri can veto this for me) I'd like you to write a bit more detail in a post first. Just to see what you can do.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:34 am
K then, this new one is preety close but atlist no sad ending... but here goes:
~ Duke stands still immobilized in great fear while he watches his sensei get killed. Unable to move and shivering with fear. He holds still tries to hold his feelings and runs away into the dark, solitary forest. “Help me! Someone help me!” He screamed but no response. He looks back and sees a shadow move from place to place. He keeps running until he sees a light, it was otogakure he runs in the village.
Duke runs directly into his house screaming “Help me! There’s someone following me! Help me”. Everyone looks at him like a joke when Duke notices there was no person following him anymore. He falls into the ground shivering. He stands up with a sad face and goes directly into the otokage’s office to report the bad news.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:14 pm
Just watch your verb tenses- if you're doing present, make sure all of them are present.
Pass.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
