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Komlon

Length and Pacing: You length was very nice, it fit well with your description, which didn't appear to lack in my opinion. You paced very nicely, though at one point I had grown confused, at least, until you had revealed the monster. It was nice that you took some time to observe your surroundings, until finding the giant scarlet crab (roar). 3nodding

Grammar: Now, there were a few grammatical errors, about three spelling ones, and maybe one word that should have been replaced with something more befitting. But of course your post was very understandable, though there was a good sum of errors, but nothing too bad. Maybe... along the lines of ten things that could have been altered. Your first sentence could have used "that" (additionally) after a few words, instead of using "the" once more repetitively.

Personality: You maintained your character's thought and personality, which was very nice. Maybe some more thought could have been incorporated, but from what I had seen, things appeared to be alright. Your actions spoke very loudly, as your character regurgitated twice. Very good, I think at least. Heh, it really presented his discomfort which allowed me to almost share the experience along with your character. I don't recall all that much with facial expression in general, but other than that, I think you did pretty well.

Use of Environment: You instantly took the audience into the environment, which showed us a beach setting. It was good that you even utilized the sound of the crashing waves along the sand. So, I saw nothing wrong with how you described the field, and your reactions with the giant crab along the field. Though maybe more description could have been used when you had entered the ocean, with the giant crab in close pursuit. Just showing how your clothing was drenched could have been a slight improvement though. Maybe having water droplets plummet from your hair as the crab holds you in a painful grip. Even showing a contortion of pain upon Komlon's face, though the final vomit did add a nice pleasing touch.

Details: From what you had covered, you did pretty good, though there could have been a few sweetening additions. Mainly with the final scene, in which you are held by the crab. Komlon could have been in pain, since it hurts to be pinched by a crab. A simple yell, groan, or moan. Something like that. But you did describe the environment very well, I liked that. I can't see too much error with your detail, though minor things could have been added. But all in all, you did a pretty good job. 3nodding

Your post was very nice, understandable obviously, and I loved your final description as to how he passed out. 3nodding I think, simply the final one or two sentences really. You gave the darkness life, hmm... anthropomorphism I believe.

6/8

Darn, I was hoping for two stars, but a 6 is good. I keep in mind the things you pointed out for the next test. Yeah, I tried to do a lot about the environment, and I considered the things you pointed out in the last paragraph, but it was too late... oh well...

oh sure grade all the tests and make me look like a lazy bum eh Leniar? X_x;;

XP. ::dies::

Lol!! XD I don't mean to do that Kurai. *huggles* If the people are just as anxious as Komlon, I will simply give them a grade for now, especially if you guys are tired. I mean... I'm used to being up until 4 A.M., or possibly later. So yeah, it's no problem. 3nodding

Lol. I would grade... but I'm not a judge... oh well, I can wait for the next test... how foten are the tests again? *hopes it's not more than a month or two* In the mean time, I can save up for Kirby:Canvas Curse

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Hana

Length and Pacing: This was an extremely nice length, and your pacing was superb as you coordinated with your actions quite nicely. I'm not sure if the length of yours was comparable to any others, mainly due to the good descriptions that you used. I didn't see any errors in this department, from the entrance of your character, to her fall against the tree in the forest terrain. Good job, I commend you for this. 3nodding *claps*

Grammar: Now, you did have quite a few grammatical errors, mainly misspellings, but most of these errors could have been overlooked. Still, I did notice them, whether you didn't space two words from each other, and you had even used an incorrect homonym. Still, this didn't kill your post, for it is still pretty good in my opinion, even despite the errors. Just trying using a spell-checker next time, also, understand that such terms as "atleast" and "alot" are not actual words. It is "at least" and "a lot". Unless you're referring to "allot", which is a verb.

Personality: You seem to have had the same problem as myself, not keeping the reader posted on the character's emotions. I really only felt her emotions towards the beginning and end, and that was it. So, you could have added a bit more thought, though there was apparent strain, especially when she had been smacked by the reptile's tail. So for future reference, just remember to add in more thought and [removed](if conversation is not commonly used), especially if an attack calls for quite a bit of energy. Still, I enjoyed the show of emotion towards the end, as she was tearing up. It made me pity her even more in her situation.

Use of Environment: You did describe the terrain decently, allowing us to know that it was a forest area. And you brought us right back to the forest as she slammed into the tree, which was a nice touch. And also, how you manipulated the vines, as they kept the creature at bay temporarily was a nice and unique touch. But of course, that appears to fit with your character's arts, which appear to be elemental (in general). I didn't see any flaws with how you used the terrain and manipulated, to call upon vines, so you did very nicely in this department.

Details: You did superbly when it came to description and detail. I didn't feel as though I was left in the dark about anything, other than your character's thoughts and feelings in some parts. I loved how you had described the reptilian creature, as being slimy (eww). Heh, that was interesting and it drew me into the monster. So, there were little flaws here, and all in all, I think that you did very well with your description, despite the grammatical errors.

Very nice, I loved reading your test, and I hope that in the future you can improve and grow better.

6/8

Keila


Length and Pacing: The pacing was good for about the first half of the test. When you got to the middle however the fight went very quickly in my oppinion. Another paragraph maybe? But it flowed well despite being over so quickly, so props for that. Hmmm maybe it was over so quickly due to Keila's lack of experience? I'll have to think about this one.


Grammar: Major props here, I found very few mistakes at all. So take a pat on the back for that one. There's really not much to say here. You obviously took your time to write this, and it showed.

Personality: There was lots of this to go around, so again good job. You kept us well informed of Keila's feelings the entire time. From her begining doubts, to her later concerns about dieing. I liked Keila in general, she seemed to fit the role of a new student rather well and you rped her as such. Very nicely done. 3nodding

Use of Environment: Ahhhh your bane! The only thing (besides length) that brought you down! You need to use or at the very least describe your environment better. Although it was a metal sphere and very bland so I did take that into acount. A few extra scentences at the begining and a minor note here or there would have brought your score up. You get this down next time and you are sure to get two stars.

Details: You did very well here. The minor details like hair falling in Keila's face and such made this a delight to read. I loved how you made her just like a normal person, not some big bad tough guy (can't be a guy you ARE a girl) and as a normal person she was scared, uncertain and nervous. You didn't miss anything that I can think of, so very nicely done!

All in all very good, I was impressed (takes a lot since I mainly rp with Lenair now and we all know how bad she makes the rest of us look >.< ) Fix the length a tad, and work on the description of your suroundings better, and you'll be great. Thanks for posting and I look forward to seeing your next test!

6.5/8.0

((Had to edit the grade down slightly after double checking Lenair's grading system. But still very good!))