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 Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 12:25 pm
Sherry1804 House: Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interests of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chit chat later, I'm Dr. Gregory House. You can call me Greg. I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file. House: This ray of sunshine is Dr. Lisa Cuddy. Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I'm also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who's forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because for most of you this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying you may see me reach for this. It's Vicodin - it's mine, you can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows - maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? (Everyone stares). And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys? (Everyone raises their hand). Well, I'll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind. God, I love that one. I laughed so hard when I first heard it.
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Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 5:46 pm
I don't remember it correctly at all, but I really liked the scene in the episode where the swimmer girl got pregnant where House "told her parents" that she was pregnant.
This is how I remember it:
Parents: So did you find out what was wrong with her?
House: Yes, but we can easily fix it.
Parents: Can you be more specific?
House: She has an abnormal growth in her abdomen. We're going to remove it with a simple procedure, all you have to do is sign these papers.
Parents: ...
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:17 am
I hope it hasn't been mentioned already but this is my all time favourite:
"Welcome aboard the good ship Asskisser. Pucker up me 'earties, it's a good day for a sail."
I have it memorised almost word for word.
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 5:48 pm
Hi, I'm new, but that aside, I haven't seen my fav quote done as of yet, so I thought I'd shear it with you.
House: "Darn it. If it wasn't the little planet that could all over again."
It's from the episode when you find out it's his birthday... can't remember the name or it.
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:07 pm
GirsClone48 Sherry1804 House: Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interests of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chit chat later, I'm Dr. Gregory House. You can call me Greg. I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file. House: This ray of sunshine is Dr. Lisa Cuddy. Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I'm also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who's forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because for most of you this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying you may see me reach for this. It's Vicodin - it's mine, you can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows - maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? (Everyone stares). And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys? (Everyone raises their hand). Well, I'll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind. God, I love that one. I laughed so hard when I first heard it. me too thats probably one of my all time fav.'s i also like "humanity is overrated" , ".. I think your tie is ugly... OH i'm sorry i thought we were having a state the obvious contest" and i like "HOUSE! this is god" even though that was wilson. i about fell off the couch when i heard that and completely missed the rest of the conversation because i was laughing (luckely i taped it and could watch it over again)
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Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:25 am
well they're not my all time fav but they're the freshest in my mind:
Wilson: Is there a light somewhere that goes on when I have food?
House: Green for food, orange for beverages, red for impure thoughts. That bulb burns out every 2 weeks.
or
Cam: House! Ritalin.
House [examining bottle]: Cocaine with a PG rating.
or
House: Cameron. [she turns] I love you. [her jaw drops; he swabs her cheek] Get your test results tomorrow. [she looks bewildered and leaves]
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Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 2:34 pm
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Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 9:37 pm
Foreman's Dad: my son calls you a manipulative b*****d.
House: Its a pet name. I call him Dr. Bling
I thought that was funny
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beatingheart [automatica]
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Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 5:28 pm
Foreman: His right testicle is almost twice as big as his left.
House: Cool.
-SEx Kills
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Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 5:30 pm
House: Or it's an infection. When guys have brain-crotch problems, it's usually the result of using one too much and the other too little.
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beatingheart [automatica]
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beatingheart [automatica]
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Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 5:33 pm
House: [draws a deep breath] Ok... I'm going to get up to leave now. I'm going to walk to that door, turn the handle, and then you're suddenly going to decide that you have to tell me the truth. I'm going to have to turn around and come all the way back. You see the thing is, my leg hurts. Can we cut the walking out of the equation?
Patient: I love cows.
House: [is puzzled. Pops a vicodin] Any particular variety? Corrientes? Holstein?
Patient: Which are the black and white ones?
House: Oh god.
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Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 8:40 pm
House: What are our names?
Foreman: *turns to Cameron* You're Cameron, *turns to House* and your the pretentious b*****d.
House: Well, you still have your memory.
I think that's how it goes.
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 6:12 pm
House: "I'm getting coffee. I take mine black, the way I take my braindamaged neurologists."
hehehe...that was from tonights episode...I thought that was just a perfect House quote
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Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 3:09 pm
House: Unless Chase broke his neck falling off his polo pony he has no reason to be in the ER
From Forever
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![beatingheart [automatica]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/38/5e/14d149c2c5e38_flip.png?t=1193915722_6.00_00)
