Welcome to Gaia! ::

It's almost the same as: drumroll please*

Telling a complete stranger in a panicked with that he/she almost stepped on an endangered species. And when the persons asks what creature it is, you say something like "the Pink Elephant"

Nehaha! Nice.

At the house:

-During disagreements attempt to use the garage door opener as a stun gun. Tell your spouse they're just lucky it didn't come with batteries.

-Put all your "important" papers in the microwave and tell the kids to keep their lousy popcorn out of your safe. Every time someone comes to the door rush to the microwave and prepare to nuke the "evidence" until you find out the coast is clear.

-Tell unwelcome guests the baby digests better if you toss him up in the air right after a meal.

-Watch your spouse until they are almost asleep, then yell, "Stop snoring!" Do this three more times. Then pretend to fall asleep and snore loudly, startle, and yell at them again.

-Every Tuesday morning tell your children that the just school called to remind them that today is Western Costume Day.

-Clip coupons and insist that everyone else in the family use them but "forget" to bring them when you shop.

-Before you visit tell your kids that Grandpa first met Grandma in the circus but he doesn't remember the old days very well because he was shot out of the cannon once too often.

-On the family's shared home computer, add 147 Bookmarks relating to the IRS, record a cough as an alert signal, and re-name all the files using anagrams of each person's name because "they're easier to find that way".

-Subscribe to every e-mail newsletter you can find and never read them or delete them. Tell the family you want to see how high the mail counter can go.

-Have your spouse/child/parent paged at the mall and ask them if we need any milk.

-Move your favorite chair to the center of the living room. Call your family members "Bones", "Scotty", and "Spock" and threaten to "have them banned from the bridge" if they get in front of the television.

-Set all the clocks back an hour NOW because you might forget to do it in the fall.

-Volunteer to keep young nieces and nephews while their parents are out of town. Teach them new, "correct" pronunciations for common words. When parents return, look perplexed when the kids ask to stop on the way home for a "hamboogier und freesia".

-Wear a shirt that says, "Help Stamp Out Spousal Abuse" on the front and "I'm With Stupid" on the back.

-Begin parking your car in the street because you are too tired to pull into the garage. Whine and plead for someone to move it for you.

-Make dental appointments for each family member on their birthday so they won't forget.

Yes I'm evil. twisted

Or dump all the packets of sugar into your bag then claim that you need more at your table. ((Works best if they got a good look at it beforehand when it was full. Even better if you have nothing that would technically need sweetening.))

Show Homophobes yaoi before they can look away. XP