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 Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:47 pm
He hated remembering what had happened, mostly because every time he did he could feel Jack's hands around his neck - and, even worse, he could feel his own hands around Jack's neck, squeezing until he'd left bruises, feeling the nausea rise thick in his own throat because of what he'd done. Gale had never been a violent person, and yet, with Jack, it seemed almost unavoidable. His temper hardly was able to be kept in check when around him, his vision marred by a fierce and overwhelming hatred for this man that he had yet to reel back.
And Jack thrived on that hatred, which made it all the worse, because he was feeding right into Jack's ego with every bit of loathing that Gale possessed.
He waited for the disappointment, the frustration, even anger, Gale's heartbeat quickening against his ribcage. He still couldn't look at her; his gaze was directed studiously at the floor, though his fingers were still wrapped around Stormy's, holding them against his lips. All this right before she was about to leave too; and he had to dump on his girlfriend, the girl he loved, that he had gotten into yet another fight with her ex-boyfriend, a particularly violent one at that.
He was turning into one of those guys and he hated himself for it.
"...yes," said Gale, his voice slightly muffled against her hand. "I saw him in the training fields, and I just...I couldn't stop myself from going over, even though I knew it was stupid and foolish, I went over and talked to him and it was...I was..."
He trailed off, the shame and anger and frustration at himself nearly overpowering him.
"It didn't go so well," he muttered wearily, hopelessly.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:16 pm
"Nothing did that day," she said mournfully.
It was almost unbearable to handle her shame, let alone be aware of his, and for a moment Stormy couldn't help but feel defeated. Was this what they were going to have to watch out for? Did every mention of Jack's name have to mean something had happened? What if it escalated? It already seemed to be, even if this latest incident happened on the day everyone seemed out of balance. What if next time it wasn't just bruises, what if . . .
She didn't want either of them dead, as much as Jack's presence pained her. She just wanted them separated, she wanted peace. For all of the guilt and shame Stormy had felt by signing up for Deus, at least she had gotten away from all those old aches. His return had dug them back up without effort, but this was just purposeful twisting of the knife already embedded in her before stabbing Gale. Collateral damage.
"I'm not mad at you," she said after a while. "Something was wrong. I was angry at everyone too," even at Gale over petty, petty things, "just really angry, and I—I set Evan off on someone as revenge," she added, her mouth twisting at the memory. It wasn't a solution to Gale's anguish, but a distraction was all she could think of. "You remember Mr. Lex, right? Back when I . . . wasn't so good, he tricked me into getting under the needle and forced me to take stuff until I was a little better. The day the glass broke, I kept fixating on that moment and how righteous he sounded about it . . . And the next thing I knew, I was texting Evan. I knew he'd get even for me."
It was Stormy's turn to drop her gaze.
"We've both apologized and made up about it, but . . . what I'm trying to say is, I understand if you couldn't help yourself." It wasn't right, it was the exact opposite of what she wanted, but Stormy intuited that Gale knew that already judging by his hangdog look.
Sighing quietly, she stroked back some of his hair with her free hand, feeling incredibly helpless the more she thought of the situation. "If it still hurts, we could stop by the infirmary? Or at least get you an ice pack from somewhere . . ."
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:44 pm
The bruises only served as a reminder of his own stupidity and foolishness, less so Jack's presence on the island. Gale hated himself for being so weak to his emotions when it came to Jack Hawthorn, but there seemed to be no stopping it, no matter how much he tried to reign in his feelings and his desire to keep out of it. All it was doing, this petty fight of his, was stirring up unwanted things between all three of them: anger and jealousy on Gale's half, because Jack had a past with Stormy that Gale could not possibly intrude upon. Anger and possessiveness on Jack's part, because even Gale could see that he was the type of man that wanted things a certain way, demanded them, even. And resentment and sadness on Stormy's part, or at least Gale had guessed as much, because she was caught in the middle between two warring people.
This wasn't school. It was pathetic. Here he was, a full Hunter with a specialization, one of the youngest on the island, and yet he was squabbling with his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend like they were back in junior high and he was thirteen again.
Stormy had said she wasn't mad at him, but that didn't stop the hot swell of guilt and shame to pass through Gale like a wave. He kept his eyes downcast, though there was a slight intake of breath at Lex's betrayal of trust and Stormy's subsequent revenge, a twitch of his head as though he almost was about to look up. It was a tiny bit reassuring to know that the sharp stabs of anger, the sweltering heat of fury and loathing had not entirely been his own fault (though he hadn't helped matters at all by going up to Jack in the first place).
"I'm sorry," Gale blurted out, and sucked in a sharp breath as he finally raised his eyes to meet Stormy's. "I'm sorry for putting you through all this, I know I'm being absolutely mental, going after Jack constantly like this. I know it's putting you in the middle, and I don't want you to have to consistently think that just by saying his name I'm going to go out and attack him, he just...he gets under my skin, and I let him because I'm angry, but I promise - I promise I'll do my best to not let him get to me."
Her fingers were gentle in his hair, though he wasn't entirely certain he deserved that gentleness. "I'm sorry," Gale repeated again, bleakly this time, his chest feeling tight. "I swear I'll try and...and let things go," he said, in a quieter tone of voice. "I don't want you to feel like you can't...like we're always at war around you."
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 9:45 am
She wished he didn't sound so bleak; it was like prodding little needles at the wound the dagger left behind, making her vaguely sick beneath the pain. This wasn't what her eve before the mission was supposed to be like.
Stormy slipped her hand away from his mouth and laid it out gently on his chest, while her other hand continued to make idle, almost nervous motions through his hair. "Promise?" she asked softly. "You promise? You mean it? 'Cause I can't do it again, Gale, I can't be part of a pull between two people I care for. Nevada—"
The word slipped out uninvited and she froze, seeming paler. Broken glass was added to the mix now, dulled by dry blood as it embedded itself for one brief moment in her chest. Her fists balled up in their spots as she grimaced, shut her eyes, and fought the sudden urge to cry. You're supposed to be showing how well adjusted you are now, you're supposed to look normal again, you're supposed to be over it as far as they're concerned—
Deep breaths. She started to smooth out what she had wrinkled.
"I'm sorry I brought him here," Stormy mumbled, her eyes fixed on her work. "I-I'm so sorry. Are you sure it doesn't hurt? I could go find a ziplock bag and some ice." Maybe assuaging some of Gale's pain would ease her own.
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:11 pm
He knew the depth of his mistake; the overwhelming seriousness of it the moment he heard Nevada's name fall from Stormy's lips. For a moment it seemed like time had stopped, had frozen into a place where it chilled to the bones. Stormy's face had paled, and so had Gale's, because he felt, in that moment, more terribly than he had before, even when his hands had been around Jack's throat.
He was breaking them apart and it was killing him inside.
Gale reached out, hands covering Stormy's again, seizing them tightly as he wrapped his fingers around hers. "I'm sorry," he said, and then again, in a much stronger voice, though tinged with pain and regret and horror and everything else that he had done and said and felt, all laced into one single phrase that wasn't accurate enough to convey the depths of his feelings.
"I'm so bloody sorry, Stormy, it's all my fault," he said hoarsely, and let go of her hands so that he could wrap his arms around her, pulling her towards him and burying his face in her neck. "I'm sorry, I promise - I swear to it, on my honor, I won't ever make you feel like this again. I won't do this to you, I promise, I won't make you sad, or hurt, or sorry, you haven't done anything, I'm so sorry, love, I'm so sorry."
He wanted to erase every stupid thing he had done, erase the pain that he'd caused her, wipe away the tears that had threatened to spill, as much as she'd tried to hide them. Gale turned his face slightly and kissed the side of Stormy's head, against her temple.
"I'm sorry," he said again, in a much quieter tone of voice, less strained this time. "I won't make you go through this again."
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 9:54 am
You are well adjusted and normal and just fine. It was just a slip up, a running of her mouth until it went places she didn't mean for, it wasn't supposed to mean anything. But the name alone was a grievous mistake, like tapping the big red button without completely pushing it down. And then it was Gale's turn to try and cover it up, to quickly step off, to I'm sorry and I promise his way out of a sticky situation she shouldn't have allowed to happen, and the more he spoke the worse the pressure felt, the more acutely she felt his regret and horror seep within her, the more she wanted to just tell him, Stop it stop talking please stop.
But instead Stormy sealed her lips together and fought to control her breath and pretend she was moving past the land mine she had tripped on, trying not to implode under the emotional weight of them both. (Remember, you are better now, you are not the same person who broke down in the Saharan worm, you are not the same person who was infested in the dark, you are someone better.)
Aren't you?
Half of what he said was lost on her as she cocooned herself in her own thoughts. Initially Stormy grew stiff the more ragged Gale sounded, tense and unconsciously guarded against both of their inner turmoils. In truth she didn't want more promises and swears, she just wanted it to be real, wanted to know she wouldn't have to continually worry about this problem anymore. She didn't want him even more guilty or angry at himself, she just wanted that calm demeanor to come back and say it was alright again.
She started when she belatedly realized that there were arms around her, that his face had been planted into her neck, that he had kissed her temple, all while she remained instinctively tense. A sharp exhale accidentally left her (why didn't she kept it smoother, why give away anything else about her emotional state?) before she remembered to loop her arms around him back. It was as she buried her face into his shoulder that Stormy remembered just how pathetic she was, regardless of what coat she wore.
She held Gale tightly and tried not to cry; it would've been unsightly after all.
(It's not your fault he's like that, I made him—)
Later, after another pair of staccato breaths in and out, she managed to squeak out, "Okay." She turned her head away, still leaning against his shoulder, and tried to breathe normally, her heart thudding from the near-explosion.
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 9:21 pm
This was what he'd been afraid of; that he'd somehow push her too far with his antagonism and hatred towards Jack Hawthorn, and it seemed Gale had finally done it - pushed to the limit and past it, because the Stormy that he held in his arms was stiff and tense and fighting violently within herself with whatever thoughts she was desperately holding back. Guilt - hot, sweltering, shameful guilt threaded through him, rose like bile in his throat, and what was that phrase that his mother had always said to him when he was bad as a child?
Actions speak louder than words.
He could promise Stormy all he wanted, but there was never going to be relief - there was never going to be closure for them if he could not make his actions speak the way he wanted them to. And if that meant forcing himself to do things he wouldn't normally do, then that was the path he had to take.
He couldn't bear to see her this way.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, both of them reeling in their emotions, both of them struggling inwardly to fix things, whether they knew it or not. Gale's arms around Stormy slackened a little, and he rested his hands against her waist, a loose, light grip easy to break, just as everything else was in this world.
He was suddenly, overwhelmingly terrified that he was breaking something far more precious with his pride and stupidity.
"I'm sorry," Gale said again, quietly, but it wasn't an apology for what he'd done to Jack, or that he'd messed up again; it was an apology for everything else he couldn't say and wanted desperately to, but couldn't. There wasn't anything he could say or do that wouldn't sound trite or hollow.
He leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling, wondering, not for the first time, why on earth could he never manage to keep his mouth shut.
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2014 12:25 am
"I'm sorry too," she replied for very much the same reason. She longed to explain and apologize for hundreds of days and help him understand why this was her punishment, but now no longer felt like the time; her chest was still simmering with embers, and talking any more about it now would be akin to tossing kindle and oil. Later, she decided, later when things weren't so volatile. She made a mental note to write herself notes, though what she would put down would become more of a specific story than cliff notes.
Little by little her nerves unwound. Stormy had entered some strange and serene state, as if the mass of emotion had been become so concentrated it had negated itself, or as if the storm had passed. (And let it please be that, let it not be that this was the eye of the storm and that the worst was yet to come again.) Her breaths became easier and softer until it was as if she had fallen asleep on Gale, and the only indicators against it were that her fingers remained just a little curled still in his shirt and that her eyes were open, though she was looking out into the room while he studied the ceiling.
"I'm sorry," Stormy repeated weakly. "I shouldn't—I shouldn't've brought up any of that at all tonight. Too heavy for someone so light." (But you are just fine now, yes?) "We're supposed to be..." Happy? Having fun? Pretending she wasn't leaving yet?
She rubbed the side of her face against his shoulder (it was now a little damp) and forced herself to sit up with a deep breath and a sniffle. "Having dinner," she continued in a pale but earnest imitation of a casual tone as she slid her hands off and back into her lap. "I heard it's spaghetti night. I-If we hurry we could get some maybe." Her fingers, ever betraying her lingering nerves, twisted Thane's ring in a gesture very familiar to Gale. Please feel better now. Please stop hurting.
But in truth Stormy wasn't hungry anymore, nor did she feel inclined to leave her room until the appointed time tomorrow. If it wouldn't have been inconvenient for Gale, she wouldn't even leave his lap period until necessary.
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Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 11:01 pm
This was going to be their last night together for who knew how long, and he was sitting here messing everything up. Gale took a small breath, and then a deeper one; and he could feel the tension in Stormy's body begin to ease, little by little, until she was sagged against him, fingers curled in the front of his shirt.
He ran a hand gently up her back and then down again. "I'm sorry too," he said, and raised his head from the couch to look down at her as she sat up. "And you're right, we should be...we should be focusing on other things, not this." Even though I was the one who got into the fight, I was the one who messed things up.
"I'm not that hungry, to be honest," said Gale truthfully, and slid his hands from around her waist to slide gently down her arms until he could grasp her hands where they lay in her lap. Stormy was twisting Thane's ring in a gesture surprisingly reminiscent of the way he often did with Jinhai's; an indication that her thoughts were not quite as settled as they could have been.
"Can we, erm..." Gale threaded their fingers together and squeezed. "just stay like this for a little while longer, maybe? I just..."
I just want a lot of things I can't have anymore.
"I just want to be with you," he finished, somewhat lamely, though it was the truth. Gale smoothed his thumb over the back of Stormy's hand and sighed. "I just want to be with you, so can we just...if you're, erm...okay with just staying here, and maybe...maybe cuddling a little?"
Cuddling was always a good thing, wasn't it?
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 9:49 pm
Wish granted.
Her fingers stopped twisting the ring with a small jolt as they were touched, as if they hadn't been aware of themselves. "Then here I am," she said with an equally weak but genuine smile. "Not as a storm, though, but as a very, very small breeze." Albeit a very, very small breeze that knew how to accommodate herself in his lap, breaking their grasp long enough to slide herself under his arms before re-establishing it again.
Cuddling was always a good thing.
Turning so that her back was leaning against him, Stormy splayed herself out a little and let herself slide down until her head was against his chest. She began to toy with Gale's fingers one by one, still fascinated by their contours, the jagged black lines, the barely visible infinity sign, the new hourglass symbol, the specific roughness of the palms from using his rifle. It didn't matter that Stormy had gotten more then a fair view of his bare torso just that day: touching him was the same as revisiting her favorite book.
She quiet for a while, floating amongst her thoughts and his warmth.
"You've probably noticed, but I'm not naturally auburn," Stormy said at length. "Just plain ol' brunette. The red dye's all gone. I kinda miss it...If I grow it out, maybe I'll buy some. I dunno."
Then, later: "I've cut like three people's hair now. Hey, maybe I should start a beauty salon in town..."
And then later still: "I think you need a haircut, Galestorm. Not that I don't like what you have, I do—" She tilted her head up to view him with a smile and a small puff of breath at the locks near his shoulders. "—but it's starting to creep over your eyes."
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:22 pm
He would have to let go of her, eventually, but since it wasn't yet that time and there was still an entire night to go before she had to leave, Gale was going to take full advantage of Stormy's nearness to be as close to her as he could. And he knew that cuddling, one of her favorite things, was just as good as anything else, Gale's arms going around her waist as she snuggled close to him, repositioning herself more comfortably. He leaned forward and rested his chin atop of her head, hands against her stomach, and Stormy picked up one of them, her thin fingers moving against his own.
For several moments, or perhaps even longer, there was nothing but silence between them, not uncomfortable like before, but simply quiet and brooding. After a while Stormy's voice, low and gentle and matter-of-fact came filtering up to Gale's ears, and he gave a small smile.
"I like you as an auburnette," he said with a light laugh. "But that's because I've never seen you as an actual brunette, though I'm sure you look beautiful as a brunette too. I might be a little biased, though..."
A pause, and then, sounding amused, "Yes, well, it does get into my face sometimes when I'm shooting. I'll have to do something about that, get a bit of a trim later. I used to have it much longer, past my shoulders when I first came here, and then I cut it all off, of course, as you know."
He ducked his head and pressed a light kiss to Stormy's forehead as she tilted her head back.
"Maybe I'll just keep growing it back out and become Rapunzel," he said, completely deadpan.
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 8:19 pm
"Hmm . . . Maybe the word you're looking for is 'aubrunette', then," Stormy observed, her smile widening at the kiss. He received another puff of air in turn. "If you don't get it cut while I'm away, lemme do it, since I wouldn't forgive you if you got hurt just 'cause you didn't get your bangs taken care of. And I'd do it nice, I'm totally getting better! Make 'em all even and nice and stuff, or layer your hair, or help re-dye it, y'know?
"But if you do turn into Rapunzel, I definitely call dibs on braiding your hair." Her eyes practically sparkled as she imagined Gale with flowers in his hair. Heck, she could probably still pull it off at his current length . . .
Closing her eyes, she began to lightly trace a circle into one of his palms. "D'you ever . . ." She chewed the question some more, then switched to something else entirely. "Hmm. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 10:34 pm
He poked his nose against her forehead, or what he could reach of it, at least. "I don't know if I would trust anyone to cut it but you, anyway," said Gale, in slight amusement. "Bix would undoubtedly give me a mohawk or something, Marcus would shave his initials into the side of my head just to be a git..."
He smiled down at her, catching her dancing eyes, and said with a small laugh, "Fine, if it gets to be that point, you can braid it all you want."
One of his hands rested against her stomach; the second hand was still being held by Stormy, and Gale could see clearly the black marks that curled around some of his fingers, to the black center of his palm that radiated outwards like an explosion.
"A superpower?" repeated Gale, and tilted his head a little thoughtfully. "Maybe invisibility; that way I could get all of my work done properly and Caelius wouldn't be able to tell me that I did it badly because I'd get all of the top secret information just from hiding out invisibly."
There was a small pause.
"Does having the ability to kick certain people without repercussion count as a superpower..."
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 1:59 pm
She giggled. "You, in a mohawk...now that'd be something. But you're already in braidable territory, just so you know," Stormy informed him. "If I wasn't so lazy I'd totally be doing it right now. Just all sorts of braids everywhere." She twisted his fingers gently together just to drive it home.
"I guess that could be a superpower," she said with a grin. "Of course you would pick the invisibility cloak power, huh? You could get away with pretty much anything—even kicking people if you're careful. Me, though? Telekinesis all the way." Stormy nestled herself more comfortably against him, tapping off each item on the list against his hostage hand. "I could stop or push or pull things without lifting a finger, make barriers...never have to worry about falling again 'cause I could make myself fly...Oh, and mind bullets." She made herself chuckle as she manipulated Gale's hand into a finger gun.
"Your turn. Ask me anything."
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:55 pm
Gale gave a soft snort. "I can't remember the last time anyone braided my hair. Maybe Candace or even Bix, as a joke, but even when my hair was longer I never really let anyone touch it. Except, you know, you, but you're an exception," he added, with a little smile down at her as she moved his fingers around.
He shifted slightly, just to stretch out his leg a bit more, and settled comfortably with his arms still around Stormy from behind. Maybe if he didn't think too much about it, he could pretend that tomorrow wasn't going to happen; but even so, it was always there, at the back of his mind.
The present, Gale reminded himself, focus on the present.
"I always thought it'd be nice to have the cloak from the Deathly Hallows," Gale said musingly. "The Elder Wand wasn't really very appealing, and when I was a kid the Ressurection Stone wasn't either. Now...well, I'd probably still pick the cloak."
He was delving into dangerous territory; he quickly moved on. "That's a pretty nifty superpower to have," said Gale, letting Stormy move his hand around. He gave a little laugh. "It'd be fun to fly, I always thought; it's why I liked roller coasters as much as I did."
Anything? Gale thought for a moment and then said, "Would you rather go your entire life without ever touching a single cat again, or go your entire life with having to always carry a cat with you wherever you went and it wouldn't die?"medigel I keep typing your old username cuz I'm so used to it 8T
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