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 Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:30 pm
Mordekai felt his heart lighten when Anita asked Tango to come with. He would be grateful for her company, too, in its own right-- he rarely had a chance to show other people the grass hills, and it was even rarer that he showed anyone at night. He recalled the last time he did with a somber smile. 2010. He agreed to their accompaniment with a nod and silence, then fumbled with the cigarette pack. He put one cigarette in his mouth and glanced worriedly at Anita before lighting it.
"Y'mind if I smoke some? An' what 'bout you, boy?" Mordekai glanced down and gave Tango a quick scratch behind the ears. He hadn't smoked outside fellow company in so long, either, but despite his wake, he felt awfully anxious. He wasn't sure if he could place it on earlier events, exactly-- it was just a looming feeling since he tried to go to sleep.
He chuckled, though, at Anita's remark, and looked at the flower bushes-- given the dark, they were somewhat difficult to see, but the falling moon still provided some faint light. "It really is, idn't it? First time I see the place, I tell Duncan: this place can't be real. s**t, I was still havin' a hard time believin' Gaia was real, then he hits me real hard with this place. Like nothin' I'd ever seen back home."
Mordekai played with the cigarette in his mouth and glanced up at the ivy gate. Once they were in the vegetable gardens, the sound of looming crickets and the stream were vaguely audible. "Guessin' you're American, with the Thanksgivin' an'all? Or d'you just like celebratin' it."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:32 pm
”My whole family smokes,” Anita shrugged while patting Tango's side once he came back from his business. The dog just wagged his tail and stared at both of them, then started back into the yard. Nope. Dog don't care.
While they began their slow amble through the garden, Anita tucked her hands into her pockets. Her eyes scanned everything green that was visible, filling in the blanks the darkness provided with her memories of the yard both from Thanksgiving and the time before. She raised her brows and glanced back Mordekai's way as he told his story, laughing under her breath. ”American family. I'm actually a native,” Anita nodded down to Tango as he plodded through the grass, ”So's he. I'm Barton born, Aekea raised, and Gambino livin'. Most of my closer family's set up in Durem, though, and I lived there for a little while.”
So Mordekai must have moved here recently. How long had Duncan lived in Gaia, she wondered? They were approaching the gates and Anita started taking it slower, watching her feet to make sure she didn't trip over any raised earth with her boots. She wasn't used to walking in anything with heels, even if these were thick and subtle. ”Got my roots in Virginia, the Carolina's. How 'bout you?”
It was simple conversation but it was better than standard small talk. Over all it was a damn sight better than the heavy tone they had before and, most assuredly, better than total silence. The scent of smoke tickled her nose but the breeze kept it mostly at bay, blowing it back toward the house.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:35 pm
Mordekai gave a small nod and, after a while, lit his cigarette. The amber-warmth of the cigarette head didn't do anything to provide them more light, but the trail of smoke was barely visible in the ink-like darkness. The blond stuffed the lighter back into his pants' pocket and sighed.
"Wouldn't've guessed you were a Gaian native, truth be told," he chuckled, "Then again, same could be said of most everybody. People pluck me out as an American by my fool speech, though. Been tryin' to get rid of it for so long, but it keeps crawlin' right back."
Mordekai rubbed the back of his neck. He knew the back of Duncan's house like he knew the back of his hands-- by now, they were nearby the cobblestone pathway, but they were veering from that direction somewhat. That didn't lead to where they wanted to be. He nodded at Anita-- why did he keep doing that when she couldn't see?-- and smiled, bemused. "Got fam'ly down south? Nice. I come from fine ol' Lee-see-ana, born practically drownin' in the Atchafalaya," he smiled wide, "I moved here w'my brother, you seen Johan Thanksgivin', right when he started goin' to middle school. We lived in Aekea, too; din't like it, had to commute to Durem all th'time, but man, money's hard."
He took another suck of his cigarette. "If you're still livin' in Gambino, drivin' all the way to Durem ain't easy. Got that Lab 305 here though, right? Duncan says y'gotta go in for appointments or whatever," he laughed, sheepishly, "He's been laggin' a little about that, I guess... mostly my fault, Christ."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:36 pm
Was it that hard to tell? Anita laughed and shrugged. ”Might as well not be, how I was raised.” Her own little gestures were irrelevant given the light but she did them anyway. Habit. His 'fool speech' didn't strike her as that. Sometimes his accent was thick enough that she had to pause for a second but it didn't take long to decipher at all. Definitely not a Gaian accent, though, that was for sure.
Honestly, Anita had never visited the US but the way her family, both sides, brought her up she supposed it was pretty obvious she at least had roots back there. The mention of Johan in middle school pulled Anita's attention, causing her brows to furrow. So maybe they hadn't moved that recently. Then again, she didn't know how old any of them were. Mordekai was an easy peg for his thirties but Johan was harder to place; somewhere in his twenties? With his height and how he carried himself, though, he felt older, maybe even older than Mordekai. She was never good at guessing ages. It was even harder to tell with the ridiculous stuff that happened in Gaia, anyway – at least humans were the same all around the world but all of these other species functioned unpredictably.
”Ah, Lab's pretty good about working around schedules,” she shrugged lightly, gaze fixed to her feet despite it being nearly impossible to see, ”There's no real deadlines. You just do the stuff yourself, it's all volunteer work.” Or it was in the normal sense. Honestly, she was lucky as hell she was allowed and cleared to keep Cruz given how she came to acquire the essence in the first place. ”They, uh... they've got their s**t together for the most part but sometimes they're a little too easy going, y'know?”
She scoffed. The sound caught in her throat as she stumbled a little bit, with a slight skip, managed to catch herself with her arms held out. From there she continued as before, her pace a little slower so she fell a bit behind Mordekai. Tango was up ahead, investigating, but he paused when she did and turned to look with the moon gleaming in his eyes.
”Keep a secret?” she asked with a hint of guilt, ”I – didn't actually sign up for the Raevan Project. I was going to, just hadn't yet. I went to some fundraisers, other functions. Met some of them, made friends. One of the raevans under staff care decided they liked me enough that I should take care of one. Totally broke protocol.” Her hands covered her face for a moment. She could feel the extra heat in her cheeks from the memory and laughed quietly. ”I got this package at work. ******** mistletoe. That's why he kisses.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:40 pm
Mordekai shrugged. "Seems like they are. Can't much comment on how responsible they are after that search an' rescue, but hey, if they wern't lenient, Duncan woulda been ditched a long time ago. An' that would've been real shameful, y'know, he's good at takin' care of Raevans." Mordekai wasn't overly conscientious about the Lab project-- he avoided it, unconsciously or otherwise-- but he was well aware of how excited Duncan was to have more company in their huge, lonely house. It wasn't so evident yet because they couldn't do much in the way of preparing for the Raevan, they didn't even know their gender or needs yet, but it was obvious that Duncan was happier.
Even if, secretly, Mordekai was terrified of the idea. He took another long drag of the cigarette and silently listened along to Anita, careful to watch where Tango was going in case he was getting too close to the stream. The sound of rushing water was becoming more evident as they neared the thick of the trees, as they had to go through a creek to get to the hills. Still, they weren't walking that quickly-- it'd take several more minutes to reach that area.
Paying attention to Tango, though, wasn't helpful in terms of knowing where Anita was. He took a good few strides past where Anita hesitated before he even noticed, after which Mordekai paused himself and stared back at her. Her guilt was almost palpable, even with being practically unable to see her. He laughed and shrugged halfheartedly-- he didn't even know what Lab protocol was. And, frankly, if how Duncan was going about it was following protocol, it all seemed like a huge pain in the a**.
Mordekai chuckled and took the time to throw the finished cigarette down and stomp it cold. "Secret for a secret, then?" he rustled through his pockets and debated taking out another cigarette, but for now, he would wait. "Can't really say I'm surprised. Nothin' about Lab makes any sense to me, hell, I'd probably break some rule on accident. An', anyways, look how sweet you are to Cruz."
He beamed at the mention of mistletoe, though, and allowed himself to laugh fully. With his hands in his pockets, he walked back towards where Anita was, then started back up on walking forward again. "Mistletoe for one'f those weird container things, right?" if Cruz fed off of kisses, Mordekai had a vague idea of what the quality might have been, but it didn't hurt to ask. "What was so weird about that mistletoe? Made people mack on eachother or somethin'?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:42 pm
Their feelings on the search and rescue, it seemed, were in alignment. Anita didn't have the chance to check with Duncan on it, not in depth, but they were all weary on the return home, that much was evident. She listened and nodded, laughing quietly under her breath. Back at the garden party, she recalled Mordekai's attitude toward Lab was pretty negative. The specifics of their conversation were completely lost, save for displeasure at the mention of Lab being a “family”. That hit her hard at the time; she really did think of it like that, in its own way, but the search and rescue... it made things difficult. It was obvious, now, things weren't as simple as all that. Of course family's had their rough patches, not everyone got along, but the reckless endangerment they all experienced was especially hard for Anita to reconcile. It nearly kept her from attending the pre-Christmas party Jeremy put together, though in the end Cruz convinced her to go. All things considered, she couldn't say she blamed him for being apprehensive now – at the very least skeptical.
”I think Duncan'll do a great job,” she hummed. The sound of the water nearby was calming but it made her step extra carefully. Anita was thankful for the sky being clear, as it allowed the moon to reflect off the creek's surface once it came into view.
Tango plodded carefully. He investigated the side of the creek, sniffed, but didn't tread any closer. Here and there he would stop and check behind himself, watching his accompanying humans to make sure he wasn't too far ahead, that nothing was wrong. Each time he did and there was laughter his tail wagged and he continued on as before.
Mordekai's amusement on the matter of her secret, if it could really be called that, made her grin. She nodded despite the low visibility, then offered a quiet sound of approval when she thought better of it. Anita scoffed, hanging her head. ”Yeah, I guess. The 'rules' aren't exactly cut and dry but I haven't really heard of anyone getting reprimanded.” It was incredibly surprising Zul didn't get in trouble for sending the mistletoe her way. Or, hell, maybe he did and just never told her so to avoid worrying her. Who was to say?
The compliment of her treatment toward Cruz was met with a sarcastic but bashful sound as she turned away, then tried to mask it with more laughter with some delay. Then there was the mistletoe.
Anita gave a small tch, running a hand through her hair. ”Yeah, actually.” That was most assuredly her least favorite time in preparing to care for a raevan. ”I'm honestly surprised I didn't get mono. It was horrible.” Not wanting to make it seem too serious, though, Anita scrunched her face up and leaned her head back, uttering a drawn out blech.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:42 pm
Mordekai stepped over the creek rather sloppily-- he didn't much care for the thin layer of water that splashed his soles, though he was aware that there were a few rocks to step over onto the other side. He glanced back at Anita and to Tango to make sure they were following along fine, and they were, which he was grateful for.
He grimaced. Mordekai knew that Duncan would take perfect care of his Raevan, but if he was still around, and they both worked, he would have to take care of it in the late evenings. Could he? Mordekai sighed. "Yeah, I think he'll do a great job."
Mordekai tapped his feet on the dirt once they reached the other side of the stream. His soles were fairly worn, which meant some water slogged into his shoes, but he didn't mind-- the only real thing it did was add a splurtching noise to his steps. By now, he was ambly striding along. Maybe they would get there in less time than he'd imagined, if they were pacing so quickly. "I'm just worried 'bout the Raevan, sometimes. Duncan an' I have t'work all days of th'week, so it's gonna be lonely in th'house. I think Duncan's hopin' to make a few more friends at the Lab for babysittin', but he hasn't done that so much since July. I think you and radioactive-hair-man're prolly th'only ones he really speaks to." What the hell was that boy's name? Hell if he knew. Duncan spoke about him in passing, especially after Mordekai had come home practically immediately after the vet's leave.
He took out another cigarette, lit it, and expelled a small sigh after taking another inhale in. Mordekai shook his head towards Anita and chuckled, "Yeah, guess t'would've been a pain in the a** for you. Ech. Woulda locked th'mistletoe up somewhere secret an' wouldn't've touched it if someone even dared get near, but hey, that's why I ain't a part of the Lab. Never been real close to th'weird, even after movin' to Gaia. I think even th'fairies an' spirits 'round here avoid me like a plague," he huffed, "Don't wanna catch my crazy."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:44 pm
Tango and Anita both watched Mordekai's progress over the creek with interest and, for her part, some apprehension. It was hard to see but he knew this place well. Tango would be fine, too, given his puppy paws. There she was, though, with her stupid long slacks that just barely avoided being caught under her dumb heeled boots. Why couldn't she have not worried about it like Thanksgiving and gone casual? Anita was certain about fifty-percent of her issues this night would have been alleviated if she just wore the damn jeans and sneakers. She could have even kept the dress shirt for all she cared!
Once he was over, Anita urged Tango to follow first. The dog took some nudging, literally once he was close enough to the edge, but even without the use of stepping stones he made it through well enough and shook off against Mordekai's legs when he touched grass.
Carefully, ever so slowly, Anita stepped out onto the creek. She took a moment to get her bearings, suddenly very thankful for her long legs that made moving between the stones much easier. Only once did she slip but, rather than slide into the water, she froze up completely and stood still with her arms wide out. Tango approached the edge at this and sniffed at her with an equal mix of curiosity and concern. She just laughed and waved him off before making it the rest of the way. When she finally touched down, Anita let out a shy huff and silently encouraged they resume their pace.
”Ahh, I gotcha,” she reached up to scratch the back of her neck, leaving her chilled fingers against her skin beneath her hair to soak up some of the warmth. “Radioactive-hair-man” made her lean over and sputter out a laugh. ”Zeke,” she corrected under her breath but otherwise didn't interrupt.
The more they walked the more she could feel the chill from the hem of her pants getting damp but, thankfully, her boots rode up higher than her ankles. Anita made a quiet sound of polite disagreement while digging through her pocket for her phone when Mordekai mentioned why the fairies avoided him. ”Maybe,” she flipped it open to check the time: 4:37AM, ”or they just know you're not close to it in the first place. I think Gaia's supposed to be the most active place in the world for this kind of thing? Everywhere else they just kind of pretend it's not there – and the fairies and stuff follow suit.” So she heard, anyway. Her mom had a similar outlook and she'd been living in Gaia for half of her own life. Of course her first reaction when discussing the raevan project was comparing it to the alien activity a few years ago.
Anita pursed her lips and looked skyward for a moment. Her phone snapped closed a bit louder than she intended but neither she nor the dog flinched and it was returned to her pocket. ”I wouldn't mind helping, if you guys needed it,” she laughed quietly, ”I'm sure Cruz would be ecstatic anyway. I work five days but it changes and sometimes I work afternoon to night so I could hang in the mornings.” It was a bit of a drive back and forth, sure, but with enough planning it wouldn't be so bad and it certainly wouldn't be every day. ”And, like, worst case, I could have Cruz stay. He's real good. Doesn't run off or anything.” There was a slight pause. ”Not that he can run.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:46 pm
They were close. As they neared sunrise, it was becoming easier to see, though everything was still set in a deep navy. Mordekai chuckled and leaned forward to give Tango a pet when he felt the hound against his leg. "Good boy, Tango," he beamed; he glanced at Anita and waved briefly, "Sorry, shoulda tol' you 'bout the creek! Kinna forgot 'bout it, I'm so used to walkin' 'round here."
Past the creek, it was fairly open space, save for a smattering of smaller trees and a narrow road that led into the open. The sound of crickets filled the air completely as they neared, and the sound of the night breeze mixed with the bristling tall grass. Mordekai snickered at Anita's comment, then lightly kicked the ground beneath his feet. A few crinkled leaves rustled and made more noise than he expected.
"I guess. Makes sense they follow Duncan around most ev'rywhere, then. From what he tol' me, he looked out for 'em for a livin' a while. Forget what job was called-- somethin' startin' with a 'c'?" he scrunched his face and shrugged, "Same people y'see on T.V. tryin' to find Bigfoot or whatever."
Once Mordekai was close to finishing his second drag, he took it out of his mouth and squeezed the end cold. He tucked the cigarette his ear for later, then huffed, a plume of warmth rising from his breath. He nearly choked when doing so at the mention of Cruz-- Mordekai scratched his scruff contemplatively and hummed. "You'd have to talk to Duncan 'bout it, but hey, don't think we're in any position to say no. An' we'd want t'pay you an' Cruz somehow too, o'course," upon remembering something, Mordekai let slip a quiet 'oh' and continued, "Almos' forgot, though, Duncan wanted t'get his Raevan through school, too. Really din't surprise me none, considerin' he use to be a teacher an' all."
Mordekai rubbed his neck. "Really thinkin' 'bout it, 'm really surprised he let me hang 'round Annie at all, what all wit' bein' a teacher. I mean, I barely made it through highschool."
As they neared the end of the narrow pathway, the wide expanse of hills and low-growing grass lay just over the horizon. Just before it, though, was a low-hanging wooden fence with a rickety entrance, which swung and creaked loosely with the wind. Mordekai paced in front of Anita and Tango to hold it open for them both.
Now that Anita and Tango were somewhat more visible, Mordekai gave them an assuring smile. "Anyway. Here we are. Bes' hill's just a few more strides away from here--" he turned back to point, though he wasn't sure if Anita could see him now or not. While there were a considerable amount of hills around with trees on them, one tree in particular stood taller than the rest. "Hope you din't think the walk here was too awful."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:48 pm
Anita blinked with interest at the mention of Duncan's previous work. ”Oh, uh – cryptids. Cryptologist...?” she wasn't sure on the proper vernacular but they both basically knew what each other meant so it didn't matter. That must have been exciting for Duncan, getting to see all manner of neat creatures previously thought to not exist.
Mordekai's choke at her remark toward Cruz made her eyes narrow as a sly grin spread on her face. She didn't even have to look at him, just letting out a quiet chuckle to acknowledge. Anita shrugged at the suggestion of payment. As they weren't in a position to say no to her offer, she wasn't in a position to decline the money but she certainly wouldn't consider it a necessity. Then the topic of schooling came up and suddenly Anita was grateful for the darkness; it hid her self conscious flush. Did other raevans go through proper schooling? All this time she'd just been casually homeschooling Cruz with no real goal or curriculum. Her sudden embarrassment made her completely skip over Mordekai's next statement despite giving a quiet ”yeah” in response.
The sight out in the fields when they finally arrived distracted her. Anita thanked him quietly for holding the gate open and she stepped a bit around Tango who decided at that moment he would forget how to walk. Her eyes were wide and reflective of the dimly increasing colors, small smile creeping onto her face as she took it all in. ”No, no,” she sounded breathless, quiet, ”it was fine.” Much better than before. For this, though, she might have endured another firework clean up. ”This is great.”
Tango started his exploration of this new area once Mordekai made his way in. He sniffed and stepped all over, investigating all of the smells. As Anita mentioned to Duncan once before, there were no fairies or other such creatures around their apartment building so Tango never really experienced that sort of thing. The scent of magic had him completely enamored, even if it was faint.
Quietly, when Anita found a good view, she lowered herself to a crouch with her elbows propped on her thighs. A few moments later she sat fully, admiring the slow increase of light and relative silence aside from the sound of distant birds and her dog. Something wasn't quite right, though, and she knew it, bt the more she tried to open her mouth the more it wanted to clamp shut. For a while she just pretended she was completely distracted but, even looking forward, she was aware of movement all around her.
”Hey, um...” her voice came out soft and timid as she continued to watch the sky, ”Can I-- I want to apologize. For earlier.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:48 pm
Mordekai mentioned a quick "no problem" before quietly encouraging Tango along. He was the last to enter the grass fields before closing the wooden gate behind him-- it was an arbitrary motion, for the most part, but it would keep the door from eerily swinging with the wind.
They walked along the grass at a leisurely pace, and like Anita, Mordekai quietly admired the ever-gradually rising light around them. There was still some time to kill before the actual sunrise, but now that the wide expanse was more visible, Mordekai felt himself calming considerably. He removed his gloves and stuffed them into his coat pockets to feel the coolness of the breeze against his hands, and to keep up with Tango to offer him a few pats once every few stops.
He ran a few paces occasionally to turn every which-way to stare around the billowing fields. The rest of the time, Mordekai stared at the sky, his head high as he noted the dim, resting stars. The surroundings entertained him endlessly-- it made everything feel lighter, in a way.
Mordekai managed to busy himself by strolling around the area as Anita crouched. He felt both restless and tremendously, strangely relieved at the same time-- it was rewarding, being able to make it here with other company. To not be here alone after strolling in the early mornings, like he tended to be in the early, early mornings. And where before he would avoid staying until sunrise, because the memory of 2010 bloomed in him so painfully, he would have to stay now.
He couldn't place why he wasn't anxious. It was exciting.
Mordekai managed to calm himself down and sit next to Anita once the night hit its lightest-- it was only a matter of time before the sun would rise. He called to Tango once he settled, his face washed with total calm-- for the most part, Mordekai had remained silent since they'd reached the fields. He stared with mellowed surprise when Anita addressed him. His smile faltered somewhat, but Mordekai managed to stare westward with her. His smile grew back faintly, and he glanced momentarily at the grass. His speech lingered in his throat and he found it difficult to speak, at first, though he managed a few weak words to begin.
"No need to," he lifted his head up, then laughed, "Weren't your fault, I-- pretty much started all that nonsense. I-- the way I went about it, it was really clumsy. Kinda stupid, ye'know..."
Mordekai stared miserably at the ground below him in stifled, awkward silence. He fiddled with his hands as his smile continued to fluctuate.
He breathed in.
"I din't plan on killin' myself in the gazebo that day. Was just gonna take my meds an' get real high," he laughed, lightly, "Then take my buddy's gun and shoot myself in th'head, right on this field. Bam."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:52 pm
No need to. Think nothing of it. God, he even said that on the phone when he was barely holding it together. Anita frowned. Her unprotected fingers were reddened at the tips and moved like molasses as they ran over each other, seeking warmth but too numb to feel it. She just shook her head. Of course there was a need to. Maybe if not to apologize then to at least explain why her emotions were running high too. Everything had been so damn confusing since that phone call and she never, ever, wanted to put him through whatever happened again.
Before she had a chance to get even that much out, Mordekai continued and she froze. Her stomach sank slowly and her head came to rest on her knees while she stared at the ground. Occasionally Tango's legs came into view but she didn't follow his movements.
”Is that right...” she asked rhetorically under her breath.
How was she supposed to respond to that? Was there even a right thing to say? Anita thought quietly for a few moments and then decided that, no, there wasn't. ”Do you still want to?” Earlier, in their tizzy, he admitted wanting death. Was that still true or just something he said in the heat of the moment?
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:53 pm
Mordekai kept his stare on the sky, his expression affixed to a firm, nervous smile. Why was he telling Anita all of this? She barely knew him. He barely knew her. Yet, in all of this, there was a desire to continue talking. He didn't know if he was talking to Anita, or to Tango, or to the sky, or to no one in particular-- but it felt horrible and okay simultaneously. His breathing was conscious and stifled, but he felt okay.
His head drooped at the question, though, and though it took him a while to answer completely, he nodded his head.
"I guess, sometimes, I still do," he shoved his hands into his pockets, "But I always been thinkin' 'bout it, as long as I could remember. An' I thought-- yeah, everyone pro'ly thinks 'bout it sometime, it's okay. It ain't anythin' weird. But I think-- after tryin' to kill myself th'first time, an' my brother, he jus' found me, I went to the hospital. Got meds. It helped."
Mordekai rubbed his cold nose again. He leaned his head back and chuckled. "Yeah, an' then I felt real good after meetin' Annie. I was so happy, an' she dragged me everywhere, ye'know, an' she asked me one day: wanna get married? I was so damn happy. Still felt kinda ******** up sometime, but it was okay. She was patient, she din't mind. Weren't real, her patience."
God, he was saying too much. With a stiff laugh, Mordekai covered his face with his hand and shook his head. "Sorry-- sorry, I know you don't wanna hear it. Just runnin' my mouth."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:54 pm
All she could do was nod. She didn't know what to say but she didn't really need to say anything, apparently. That was fine. Anita nodded, whether he saw or not, to acknowledge his answer, to agree that it crossed everyone's mind at some point, and she nodded slowly to the new information. Maybe that was why Johan had a bit of a chip on his shoulder about the whole “death thing”. Then he got back to Annie and she smiled – very briefly. It faded as soon as she recalled what he said before, that he wanted to see her again. Annie was gone. His wife was gone.
She scoffed quietly and hid her face against her knees. ”S'okay,” Anita took a deep breath, ”Might as well run it now, huh?” She turned just long enough to offer a smile from the side, just enough to catch his eye, and then turned back. He'd been so hung up on her paying attention last time she didn't want to come off as dismissive at all. To be honest, she was hanging on every word.
”I really didn't mean anything before,” Anita tried after a few moments, ”It was just – after that phone call, I didn't want to cause any trouble for you.” Tango walked up and sniffed at the top of her head, messing her hair a bit. Without looking up, Anita took his head in both her hands and fluffed him up. ”Duncan said he would ask if you wanted to call me back or something, just so I knew I didn't throw everything in the shitter. You didn't, so I figured that was that – and that was okay. It's not my business. If I was gonna be causing stress by hanging around then it was better not to.”
Her words were getting a bit confused, she realized, but now that she'd started she couldn't stop. There probably wouldn't be another opportunity to just talk and there wasn't much else to do to fill their time waiting for sunrise. Besides, he'd already poured some of his heart out so she wanted to be fair. ”That's why I was kinda weirded out by the invitation. I mean – I'm-I'm glad to be here, I'm glad I was asked, I was just... confused. I didn't want it to have been an obligation on Duncan's part or anything like that.”
Anita took a deep breath and rubbed her face once Tango pulled away. He found a nice cozy patch of earth and settled diagonally between the two of them with a soft grunt. ”We were both clumsy. I didn't want to push any buttons but I felt like I was getting put into positions where I would anyway. That's all.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:56 pm
Mordekai slowly slid his hand from his face, and was only able to nod in silence at Anita for a while. Despite his initial inability to stop talking to Anita about everything, he now felt somewhat embarrassed and regretful. Still, there was a sunrise to wait for-- he stared and waited anxiously for it.
Once Anita began explaining her side of things, Mordekai managed to glance at her briefly. He looked away, though, to shake his head at the situation and offer a tired, breathy laugh. "You din't do anythin' wrong," Mordekai replied, ever so quietly, "Nothin' at all. I called you-- you tol' me straight. Got some panic attack outta the blue," he rubbed the back of his neck, "It's okay. They're normal. Use to 'em by now-- but-- I don't like tellin' people I get 'em none. But they always think it's their fault somehow if I don't... 'm sorry. Sorry."
He nodded wearily along, then shook his head immediately, his shoulders stiff. "An'... I guess, the invitation an' callin' you back, yeah, Duncan tol' me it was a good idea," he glanced at Tango as he moved, "'Cause I needed to tell you I was sorry, sorry for puttin' you through that mess."
Mordekai grimaced. "An'-- I din't mention this earlier, but... I also wanted t'say thank you, I guess. Sorry an' thank you. Thank you for savin' my life, thank you for bein' sweet enough t'call the paramedics when I got my fool panic attack."
He managed to lift his grimace into that of a sheepish grin. "'Cause as damn cheesy as this'll sound, if you hadn't, I wouldn't've been able to see t'sunrise on New Years anymore. I haven't seen it in three long years. Three long, weird years. So, 'm sorry y'felt put on the spotlight with my misgivin's."
The sky was now a pastel, dim blue, and the horizon overhead began spilling with clouds of bursting orange. It was starting. Mordekai sat stiller than ever while he huddled forward to stare in anticipation at the sunrise.
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