Welcome to Gaia! ::

“Mm... Because I'm... 'Cause obviously, quite obviously, I'm odd,” he answered to her first question with a light chuckle. He stopped with making his little pattern on the back of the chair, letting his hands drop down limply. Taking on the appearance of thinking for a moment, he finally just smiled lightly and made a slight shrug.

“Boredom I suppose. I don't really know. I just wanted to start doing it,” he purred lightly while still avoiding eye contact of any kind. He'd really started doing it so as to distract himself from letting the barrier he'd created between the inner part of himself and outer part of himself from shattering and showing he'd been unnerved by a simple question and statement.

“It's not a good odd, but rather a bad odd, ya goob. I did that on purpose too,” he chuckled before setting his sketchpad on the desk and making three of the same shape only with a slight difference in each of the images. The first was two fully closed heart shapes that had the bottoms touching each other. The second was the same only with one of the hearts having a slight gap between one side and where the hearts connected. The last was two heart shapes that both had that gap between one half of the heart and where the two hearts connected.

“Our relationship started out like this first one. Now we're at the second image. To put it simply, we started out closed off from each other. Now you're opening up more. What I'm guessing you'd like is this third image here which means I'd have to take down my defensive wall. I'm still uncertain about taking that wall down though,” he murmured softly before starting to doodle an eye in the bottom corner of his sketchpad. “I don't trust my eyes right now....”

A soft chuckle came from the male when she said she was pretty trustworthy. His hand continued sketching out a little more detail to the eye so as to keep it from starting to tremble, his knuckles turning white at the grip on his pencil. Why was she trying so hard to break his shell? How was she even succeeding in getting him this unnerved? He glanced up at her from a corner of his eye before finally shifting his gaze completely up at her, his golden-red gaze seeming hollow yet sad and hurt.

“That's because you know the false me, the mask on top of the real me. You don't know the man behind the mask. You're such a goob,” he chuckled softly before starting to chew on his lip and shift his gaze back to his sketchpad.

“You're quite right though... The closest I have ever let anyone get to me was in the first home I can remember. They took me in as if I were one of their own children and things were really great... I mean really great... Or at least I thought it was...” Naacht murmured softly as he he flipped open his backpack and slid an old sketchpad from his bag before setting it down in front of Amelia to where a sketch of what looked like Shaolin monks, a few women and several children stood with relatively cheerful faces. That is all but one of the little boys who seemed unamused.

“The unamused one was the closest thing to an older brother I had and... He made me believe he was trustworthy... Made me believe he would come back for me... And he didn't... No one came for me for what felt like an eternity....” he murmured in a barely audible voice only to readjust himself in his seat and hit his head against the table. He started hitting his head against the table repeatedly while muttering the word "stupid" to himself. Now that he finally gave a brief explanation of his lack of trust in others he just wanted to destroy the room and play as if he had amnesia again. It was easier just bottling it all up and relieving any stress with acupuncture and massages than telling others about it.

After a while, he stopped hitting his head and just remained seated there with his forehead against the table. A few random students and the librarian here at the school stared in confusion as to what his problem was, but seemed unsure as if to approach him and ask if he was alright. He remained silent, but slid his arms up onto the table, his hands covering the back of his head while his arms covered up his face from view. There was a hole in his mental defenses and it was all because he thought he could pick on a girl he was actually just trying to scare off. Those in this room should be glad he loved books and wouldn't hurt them even if his life depended on it otherwise they'd have an entire library to clean.

“You're such a goob,” the dark haired male repeated for the third time while remaining still. He finally lifted his head, a light pink spot on his forehead, but that bring the only sign he'd been hitting his head against the desk. His expression had slid back into that unreadable mask that left people wondering what he was thinking let alone if he was actually paying attention. Running his fingers through his hair, he let out a soft sigh and closed up his sketchpads just to slide them back into his white shoulderbag with the Cheshire Cat, Jack Skellington, a ninja and someone like Edward Scissorhands drawn in multiple colored sharpies on it.

“It's not you so quit beating yourself up about me hitting my head on the table. I was calling myself stupid for having believed in someone being trustworthy. What we are or seem to be is nothing but a fleeting dream. There's no such thing as perfect, normal, or average. Love is just one side of a coin in which hate resides on the other side. Without hate, there is no love. Without betrayal, there is no such thing as trust. Without life, there is no death. It's just how life plays out. I don't trust anyone, not even myself. It's just how I am... My walls may be shaken, but they will not fall,” he murmured lightly to Amilia before flipping the business card he'd given Amilia over and scribbling down a number on it, signing the bottom with Naacht Amnesia Rodriguez under the number.

“That's my cell if you ever feel like texting or calling or whatever it is friends do,” he murmured before returning to that cheerful smile he'd had on earlier. He could easily blame others for his reasoning of being so paranoid over people being behind him either physically or behind the emotional barrier he kept up, but that wasn't his way. He blamed himself for doing something to anger or hurt the closest thing to a brother he had and if his depression cheered the other up that much, he'd never show it. Being abandoned was far worse than anything he'd done to the other male and so remaining emotionless was the best way he could get back at him.

At least it made sense to him...

“Not for everyone. I was just saying that love and hate are two sides of the same coin. You have to love something in order to hate it. The same principal goes with trust and betrayal. You have to trust someone before they can betray you. That's just my opinion of things though. Someone else might tell you otherwise,” he answered while brushing his hair out of his face. He stretched his legs out to the sides before reaching over and patting the dark haired female on top of the head.

“Do not question what you may think of love when you find someone worthy of it based on one persons point of view. Everyone views the world differently,” he murmured in a gentle tone. The dark haired male stood up clasping his hands behind him and stretching his arms, a loud pop sounding from his shoulders. He was going to have to visit his second set of step-parents later today. A bell rung and he made a slight wiggle of the fingers before heading towards the door.

“I gotta get to archery class so I'll talk at ya later. See ya 'round.”