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 Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:31 pm
"But I don't want to just sit by and wonder if you'll be okay. I don't want to sit in your room cowering and helpless wondering if you're going to come back hurt or not come back at all." Her voice was rising as she gave into her emotions again, knowing that just waiting for him to return would eat away at her. Seeing him come back hurt would only bring her shame that she hadn't been there to help. "I don't want to be some worthless pup who's only good for a band-aid and a kiss to make it better. Not if I can help."
She wasn't sure if he understood or not. He was trying to keep her safe himself and she understood that but that wasn't going to keep her at bay. "I'll follow you again if I have to." And she would to and jump in to defend him if need be. They had gotten off rather easily with the lot they had today but they were just thugs. Street punks looking to ruffle some feathers maybe make a buck or two by stealing a wallet. What would happen if they met someone a bit more serious about causing them harm? Mitsu wouldn't just stand by and she had already proven that when she had bitten one of the thugs.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:41 pm
Shun's expression hardened a bit at those words, looking at Mitsu a little more sternly now.
"I will always. Always. Come back. You can count on that," he said firmly. He then relaxed some, shaking his head as she continued to speak. His wolf was certainly making things a little difficult right now.
"You aren't a worthless pup. Far from it. It's for that reason why I don't want you involved in this too deeply. What you have within you is far greater. You have a good heart. Don't lose that over this s**t. I'm serious."
Letting out a sigh, he glanced off.
"I'm not so weak that I need to have my hand held through this. At least I'd like to think so."
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 8:05 pm
There was such a turmoil of emotions within her at this moment Mitsu wasn't sure what warranted more focus. Her confusion on his stance about receiving her help, her frustration that he kept pushing her away, her fear that he was only going to be hurt, her welling anger as he did his best to keep her out of this, her determination to protect him, or her sadness that seemed to loom around the border of everything reminding her that when she pushed and got what she wanted she was only going to hurt herself.
"Receiving help doesn't make you weak." She wasn't really sure where to go from here. Shun wasn't making matters easy either. Mitsu was determined to help him and he was determined to keep her safely hidden away.
With a sigh Mitsu pulled back a bit her head swimming to the point she felt a headache coming on. It made it harder for her to think things through clearly, her mind trying to come up with some other solution. "Maybe...if I spoke to your dad?" Clearly she didn't realize how bad of an idea that was or really wasn't able to think about it. She was desperate for something anything that would help.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 8:10 pm
"Seeing how a lot of these things are meant to be done without help.. and others have done them without failure, I think it might be the case for this sort of thing," he retorted. Shaking his head again, he tried to usher them both back into his room so they could at least sit while talking about this. It seemed like they were going to be here for some time discussing this issue.
However, Shun froze at the suggestion.
"No. That will not happen. If you try to approach him for me, only bad things will come of it. He will definitely see me as being weak. Worthless.. Even more of a disappointment. That's... not the only thing that could happen too."
The Reaper trailed off a bit as he started to speculate some of the possibilities. They weren't very good.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 8:33 pm
That helpless feeling was starting to press in around her again even with the simple action of Shun ushering them back to his room. She didn't go far only side stepping as soon as she was inside and pressing her back against the wall. This was probably her only solid support right now.
"I don't know what to do...I don't want to just stand by...I can't. I just can't." She was shaking her head now her eyes clenching closed but she had cried enough now that her eyes couldn't even manage to water. Probably why she had a headache, she was cried out.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:00 pm
Shun was planning on bringing them over to the bed so they could sit, but Mitsu had stepped off to the side to stand against the wall. Turning towards her, he let out a sigh and leaned lightly against the wall next to her. She was still crying. And there wasn't much he could do about it right now.
"Mitsu.. please.. please calm down," he breathed out, "I'm so sorry you had to meet or even fall in love with me of all people."
Pausing there, he slumped down against the wall, unable to really come up with much of anything.
"I don't know. Maybe you could just act as a look out for me but even then... Dammit.."
He felt like he was doing something horrible here.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:28 pm
Both of them were at a loss it seemed. Nothing was really going to play out in their favor. Slumping to the floor as well Mitsu shook her head.
"Please...please stop apologizing for something that doesn't warrant such a thing. I don't regret meeting you, I don't regret loving you, I never will. Despite what you think I am still very lucky to have you."
Her knees came up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them as she gently began to rock. "I will do what I have to. It's just....these kidnappings...Shun it just seems so wrong. Weapons deals and drugs are one thing but letting someone be taken..." If he had never told her about the kidnappings she probably wouldn't have struggled with the idea so much. Sure she would have known it was wrong but it wouldn't have eaten at her like this did. "What if they just want to torture them? What if they want to use them in some experiment? We could be condemning them to the life of a lab rat or worse."
Her brother's face flashed in her mind again, scared and helpless, strapped down while being cut open. It made her whimper clutching her head. No, no she couldn't do that to someone.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 10:38 pm
"It's not just that. The Family finds ways to get rid of people as well otherwise," Shun said before glancing over at Mitsu. Her devotion for him was pretty amazing really, but it was still a little mind blowing to him.
"It is wrong. Yes. But growing up around those things tends to make it not matter all that much. I've learned to not question these things over the years. I just do what I'm told, lest I get punished for not doing so. Even then, in the heat of things, having much of a conscience could lead to trouble. Why do you think I am the way I am?"
Taking in a breath, he closed his eyes.
"Straight up torture is not likely. Not unless it's an enemy. No, they're taken for some sort of profit. Either someone made a commission or it's for something the Family needs. But again. I never look into the details. The why's never mattered. Caring wasn't allowed. It technically still isn't," he murmured before opening his eyes and looking over to the side. She was rocking now.
"Besides, what do you expect me to do? I've been raised to be like one of his associates. In time I wouldn't have just been helping out, but doing the deeds myself. Making the grab, or the kill, or whatever. Maybe both. Who knows what my future is like exactly?"
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:56 am
More details and more things she was going to have to face. What else was he going to tell her? What else was she going to learn? Just when she thought the information couldn't be any worse something else a bit more terrible was dropped in her lap.
It seemed he had stopped questioning things long ago...but that meant at one point of time he had. He still had a sense of right and wrong but choose to ignore it to get the job done. And if caring wasn't allowed...
"Then....what is our future going to be like, Shun?" It wasn't a question that sounded like if she would stay but because she was staying, Mitsu wanted to know the path that lay before them. Would there come a time when caring would get in the way for him? Would their love put him in danger? Was it possible that Shun would snuff out his feelings for her and break off with all emotion so he could do his job more effectively? It scared her to think about it, scared her more than the idea of facing any Hunter. She could lose him but in an entirely different way. He would still be there physically but emotionally out of reach.
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:14 am
The question asked threw Shun for a loop really. The future, in general, was not something he thought about. He had a tendency to take it by the day rather than speculate much of how things could be later on. It was enough to make him fall silent for a good while as he tried to think of the answer. Things between them would likely be fine as long as his father didn't learn of it. But... it was likely inevitable that the older Reaper would figure it out.
It was partially the reason why he didn't want Mitsu to try and speak with him. He'd be considered weak and she would be considered a liability most likely. One that would need to be eliminated one way or another.
"The future is never certain. As long as I can keep you away from my father, things should be fine. If a time has to happen where that isn't possible.. then.. we'll just have to face it when it comes."
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:04 pm
So Shun had no better idea of what their future would hold. Not that Mitsu had any ideas herself. To most it probably would have upset them to realize that their boilfriend was keeping them secret from their dad but Mitsu wasn't doing much better. Since the day she had met Shun and befriended him she had been careful never to mention him to Suto. Her guardian hated reapers, hated them with a passion. Being undead he had a special leeriness of them he had tried to pass that hatred onto Mitsu. Needless to say it hadn't worked. She had more reaper friends than anything else.
"We'll face it," Mitsu agreed. "Together." She stopped in her rocking for a moment to lean against Shun, her head lightly resting on his shoulder. She wasn't sure what else to say, falling silent as she sat there. Was there really anything else to say? They were at a standstill about what to do at the moment. The best she could hope for would be that Shun would have time to rest and that the next job wouldn't involve kidnapping in anyway.
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:08 pm
Feeling Mitsu's head on his shoulder, Shun lightly brought a hand up to place on her cheek. All of this was rather unsettling yes.
"Are you sure?" he asked. Though she had already said it a number of times that night, he wanted her to really be certain about sticking with him through these troubles. In a sense he both appreciated and dreaded it. Since for one he wouldn't be alone in it. But on the other hand it put her in a bit of danger and whatnot.
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:22 pm
"I am." Mitsu said without hesitation, nuzzling into his hand as he brought it to her cheek.
She fell silent again trying to soak in the calmer mood noting how numb she felt at the moment. Perhaps that was better than the alternative. "Can...I stay here tonight?" Mitsu new she really didn't have to ask but she didn't want to leave. The lycan wanted to fall to sleep knowing Shun would be close, curl up in the comfort of his arms and wake up knowing he wouldn't be far.
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:29 pm
"You're always welcome to stay here whenever you like. You should know that," he said softly. He would never kick her out of his room. If anything, he would kick himself out before he forced her to leave. The reaper caressed her cheek a little longer, then pushed himself to his feet so he could fetch her a tissue. It was a little late now, but they may as well get her face cleaned up since things seemed to have calmed now.
Though, rather than offering her the piece, he reached down to try and help her to her feet first.
Shun would try to find some way to get through this with minimal pain on their end. It wouldn't be easy. He knew that much.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 7:32 am
Closing her eyes, Mitsu soaked up the strokes of his hand against her cheek as well as his words. She had just wanted some sort of comfort, some small phrase and he had given it to her. It was all she could hope for at the moment until they started to figure things out. No doubt her knowing his business was going to complicate things. More so for Shun than for her. She felt sorry she had pried but not in a way since she was still determined to protect him. His well being came before all others.
Feeling him pull away Mitsu's eyes opened slowly as he retrieved a tissue before returning and offering her help to her feet. Her body felt rather weak at the moment though physically she hadn't exerted herself. It left her unsteady as before, leaning into her reaper to retain her balance. Arms coming up around his neck she held on, hugging him close.
"Please don't leave me in the dark anymore." Her voice was soft but pleading. As hard as it was to hear today she didn't want to be kept out. She would learn to cope with this new information as she had learned to cope with everything else. It was a process but not impossible. The trick would be not letting it change her and keeping her personality intact.
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