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El Cupcake-abre still had very little idea of what was actually happening. She was watching everything as best she could in order to strike at the optimal moment, but as far as she could tell damn near everything was utter chaos.

It definitely was utter chaos.

Fixing the shoulder on her slipping cupcake dress, what had to be one of the shortest girls in the ring squared her jaw and narrowed her eyes. No sense in waiting until the last minute. No one wanted to be the last person thrown out of the ring. That was just humiliating. Wasn't it? So she ran. She ran as hard as her little legs would take her straight towards the towering inferno of rage that was Don Diablos.

And then she did her damnedest to kick him square in the junk.

Finding that she was getting dizzy she decided to use one of her moves and jumped on to the guy. The Cling Claw seemed like the best bet and if she clung on hard enough then at least she may possibly have a chance of reaching his belt and the crystal that seemed to be in it.

Total: 24

ELIMINATED THIS ROUND:
The Sound Emperor
Italian Inquisition
Thunder Thighs
The Dust Devil
La Abeja Reina (disqualified)


Don Diablos was looking, sounding, and smelling very much like a steam locomotive. He barreled across the ring on some track only he could see, his breath shooting out of his face in large plumes of steam. Before long he'd been grabbed and ambushed and jumped on by wrestlers from every direction imaginable -- it was like watching an ant colony swarm over an atlas beetle. The crowd could barely see him, and yet they cheered on.

In response to those cheers, and one devoted fan's fanaticism, one bulky arm reached out, grabbed The Dust Devil, and chucked her out of the ring (there was a moment of heavenly awe as Emily realized her spiritual leader was actually touching her). The other arm found the back of The Sound Emperor's shirt, which tore a bit from the force of being thrown.

A couple of fists managed to get some cheap shots at him. In response, he stomped a sizable crack in the ground -- "DO YOU REALLY THINK A COUPLE KIDNEY PUNCHES WILL SAVE YOUR SORRY ASSES? DON DIABLOS HAS KIDNEYS OF STEEL. DON DIABLOS PASSES KIDNEY STONES FOR BREAKFAST!!"

On the way over to the ring's edge he elbowed aside Thunder Thighs and Italian Inquisition with such force that it pushed them out of the fray.

"SOMEONE THROW DON DIABLOS A ******** CHAIR!!"

He received three.

The third was in his teeth.


ROUND 2 START!!

Good lord, Tony thought to himself, as at this point he imagined thinking would do him as much good as saying anything out loud: no one would hear it either way. That man just threw those children like they were dolls.

Why was a man throwing children?

Oh Christ, came Tony's next thought, as he leaned on his cane and stared in wonder at the masked man as he bellowed for a chair. The floor was trembling, and the librarian was certain it wasn't because of all the people in the ring. It was that giant muscle's doing, his booming voice rocking Tony's eardrum and making him think the rest of the room was shaking. Or maybe it was his nerves.

At this point, he was lucky he hadn't been hurt.

"Oh come on!" he said in disbelief, that thought actually getting out of his head. How was he going to fight with a chair in his teeth? Lifting his cane, Tony decided he really didn't want to find out. But needed to be on the defense, just in case he did.

Alright, Master Awesome had successfully avoided man on fire. It was a start! Though he had to admit, seeing people fly out of the ring was rather frightening. At any moment that could be him, flying off to who knew where.

Maybe he'd land in Zac's lap! Then..it wouldn't be too bad.

Of course, man on fire now had chairs. One in his teeth. What kind of steroids had this man been on?! The only thing that made any sense in Master Awesome's mind was Powerthirst. Clearly, the don needed to lay off the stuff.

For now though he'd stick to the avoiding game. It worked well enough the first round...

Four people were flung from the ring by the force of a one-ton maniac. Miss Fortune stopped dropped and rolled out of the way of othe Sound Emperor as he was tossed out of the ring with the same careless force she would give a dirty Q-tip. And then a chair was flung up to the Bull (he was now named the Bull. And she was now a Chestly fan) as he bellowed. Don't give him a weapon, you moron! she had time to think before the shiny on his belt made her hands itch.

Right. She was here because she was fabulous. And because if she hadn't signed up, Zora might have. And Zora was thirteen.

Not that Don Diablos would care- her sister was probably about the same size as one of his kidney stones.

He had three chairs, and more targets to take the blows. How had he caught a chair in his teeth? Did he know how dangerous that was?

.... And with that, she flung herself into the fray, lifting a delicate leg to kick at the chair in the Don's teeth with all the force in her legs, and every little thing Andrew Collins and her kickboxing trainer had taught her.

She'd just never tried to do this in heels.

Don Diablos, The Delphinator believed, was not only using the crystal's power, but on a s**t ton of steroids on top of it. He threw another wrestler clear out of the ring, and in what felt like just seconds he had annihilated five of the contestants. ********, at this rate they were all going to be defeated in a matter of minutes. Clearly this called for strategy. But at this point, it was a bit of a frenzy, everyone trying to get in a punch or two at Don Diablos before being completely eliminated. There was a bit too much chaos and not enough pre-planning for them to do anything against Don Diablos OTHER than try to beat the s**t out of him.

In the end, he was still going to beat the s**t out of them. The Delphinator was holding out on the hope that Don Diablos would tire after a little while, and then she really could go all out on him. For now she was trying to survive, and avoid getting hit by the chair-wielding champion. A chair was certain to knock her out of the competition in one blow, and well, The Delphinator wanted that goddamn crystal.

The Delphinator stuck low to the ground - what Don Diablos had was height and, well, muscles and a CRYSTAL. She was hoping that his height would mean he couldn't swing his chair down QUITE so low enough to hit her. She hoped.